Ah, love...don't weigh yourself but once per week. Your body weight can fluctuate as much as 2-5 lbs in one day. Crazy, huh? I'm really laughing at? with? you on your weight loss escapade. You're such a crack up! I'm not really journaling about how I'm doing mine b/c it would bore you to tears.
Ryan and Rachael
Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate
~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~
The nitty gritty: I think I've lost at least 3 pounds. Possibly more. I weigh tonight (the end of the day) what I'd ordinarily be HAPPY to weigh first thing in the morning when I haven't had anything to eat or drink yet.
I was religious about not eating any sweets at all this week. Nothing. I had no carbonated beverages. I did eat some carbs, but not loads and loads of carbs. I had them via high-quality veggies and I did have a sandwich on dark pumpernickel this afternoon as well.
I worked out last week on Sat, Sun, Monday. I didn't work out Tues-Fri but I got back on board Saturday and did about 20 minutes on the elliptical and a few quick squats, leg lifts, calf raises, and crunches. Today I did a really good 20 minutes on the machine and got my heart pumping really well. Still no sweat streaming down my face but I was plenty sweaty. AFTER my cardio, I popped in a lower body workout video I haven't done in 10 years. It was still really REALLY good. I am not sore yet, but my muscles are really wiggly and fatigued. I wasn't sure I could make it back up the stairs while ago. It is gonna hurt so good tomorrow
I'm thinking if I can do a quick 20 minute cardio on the elliptical machine and then a workout video (the one from tonight was a little less than 30 minutes) at least 4 nights per week I'll be on my way to where I want to be. I have at least 20 different workout videos, so I'll do them in a progression so I'm never letting my body get used to doing the same thing.
That is my battle plan. Here is what caused the escalation to cardio plus a workout video: I went bra-less for the first time in 13 months last night. Since the baby has been born I have been wearing nursing bras. Now that he is only nursing once per day, which is right before he goes to bed, I got emptied out and then decided to take a bath and didn't put it back on. Here is where I'm going with this---as I was walking around the house this morning sans bra, I felt my frigging BACK jiggling. I guess I had never felt it before because I wear an elephant-sized bra normally. I have never been more totally and completely disgusted with myself. FOR SHAME!!!! So this is it for me. This is my low point. I have a jiggly back and that is literally the straw that broke this fat lady's back. I'm going to get rid of it as soon as humanly possible. And you can bet the farm on it. Watch and see.
I am so close to being able to REALLY sweat, I couldn't be any closer without hitting my goal. Tonight there were actual beads of perspiration on both sides of my face. They formed from near my temples and ended up by my ears before I wiped them off. Not loads of beads, but they were totally there. How awesomely-gross is that?
I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, then went to put in a different video. Turns out I must've picked the only "short" one yesterday, because all the rest were 50 or 60 minutes long. Harumph. So I put in a 50 minute and did it. It was more cardio, which I probably could have fast-forwarded through. Then it was floor work for chest and arms. Lordy, to see me trying to do a push up must have been quite hysterical for any lookie-loos next door. I was on my knees and STILL could barely eek out a few sad little push ups. No wonder my arms look like shapeless blobs. The muscles have wasted away in there. It was painful to watch even for me. And I didn't have to see myself, thank goodness.
On the way home from work tonight I stopped off and bought a bucket of protein powder the size of my head. Despite the promises that it tastes delicious by a very beefy powder-hocker at the supplement store, it does NOT, in fact, taste delicious. The face I made after I tried it was the same face I make after taking cough syrup. Followed by the same shudder, opening of the mouth in hopes that exposing my tongue to air will help the taste, and then hopping to the fridge to get some water and guzzle it down. Yuck.
Then I called a friend's husband, that is a former beefy muscle man, to ask him for some tips on the protein shake. Turns out he says I should be taking it BEFORE my workout, based on what I told him about my goals and my eating habits. Tomorrow I will try to tastefully take this huge bucket of protein powder to work so I can drink it before I leave the office. I'm sure my co-workers will appreciate the cough syrup face.
Mr. Scale was very kind to me this morning. I am beginning to not want to throw him against the wall every time I walk by. If this keeps up, I might even whisper a kind greeting to him as I pass by sometimes.........
Still going strong here. Haven't missed a beat all week. I may take tomorrow off, though, because 5 days in a row is a lot for me. I was really tired tonight and didn't feel much like exercising. I got up and did it anyway and I'm heading to bed later than normal. I've only had about 900 calories today (and also yesterday) so maybe I should eat more.
If I could lose just ONE pound per week consistently, I could be at my goal weight by June. That would be AWESOME! Slap on a little magic suntan lotion and I'd be ready for the summer at the community pool with the kids. That would be perfect!
Went to see a chick flick with some gals tonight! Then we went out for a bit afterward to visit. It was so fun! I couldn't tell you the last time I went out like that. When I say YEARS, I mean YEARS.
As soon as I got home I changed clothes and walked out to the living room, where Joshua was sleeping on the sofa. DH woke him up to go upstairs to bed and he seemed disoriented. I followed him upstairs thinking he was just super-sleepy. I realized when he was in the bedroom that he was starting to cry and I knew. Sure enough, he threw up ALLLLL over the carpet. Loads and loads of pizza from dinner. So this should be a fun weekend. Poor little booger. I will try to keep everything super-clean so the baby and I won't get it. We've already been exposed, though, I'm sure.
After work today I bought one of those over-the-door chin up bars to add to my workout regime. Not that I can do a pull up. I can't actually even do a push up, but if I don't have a goal then I'll never hit it, right? Now that I have officially remembered how to sweat, this will go down as my next lofty goal. One real, honest-to-goodness pull up. I can visualize it now!
Well, off to go check some foreheads and make sure he is still sleeping peacefully. Better find the thermometer and get the meds ready so I won't have to fumble for them in a few hours.
Happy to report that the throw-up incident was isolated. He never ran fever or threw up any more after that one time. Weird. Perhaps I just needed to stay on top of my carpet-scrubbing skills.
After a long time of thinking about it, I decided to try out the sardine sandwich I talked about a while back. I went to much ado over it and even gave myself a mental pep talk as I was making it to tell myself how delicious it was going to be. It would be just like a tuna sandwich, or maybe a little "fishier", like a salmon sandwich. OH EM GEE. It has been a really long time since I stood over the kitchen sink and gagged. Over and over. All the while my DH was giggling and saying he wished I would take another bite so he could go get the video camera.
Our dog, Lucy, had a wonderful dinner tonight. Her coat will be nice and shiny from all of the omega-3's. I will have to stick with taking fish pills and tasting them all afternoon long. I *thought* they were bad, but it turns out that this is yet another item that I have gained a new perspective on. It really could be worse.
I have had a lot on my mind lately, journal. Turbulence in my brain. Not really diving into it, but I've been reflecting on what I've learned about life in the last 13 or so years since I graduated college. I've learned so much about myself. I've grown as a person, I believe. I've been completely blessed with the two most fabulous kids on the planet and I'd do it all again for them. But if I had to pick ONE thing that stands out as a life-lesson, it is that I have learned this:
Happiness really does come from within. Nobody else can make you happy. Even good things only bring fleeting happiness. I think you decide to be happy no matter what and then you will be. I'm not depressed. But I'm coming to grips with particular realities and it is challenging to me. Some things can be "jagged little pills".
On that note, here are a few lyrics from one of Alanis's songs that rings true for me:
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn
My life in the last 13 years hasn't been an easy journey. But it has certainly been enlightening and I have learned many, many life lessons.
Still going strong on my exercise and trying to eat right. Although tonight I did slack off by only doing the elliptical and no strength training at all. Last night I only did a 7 minute ab workout after the elliptical so tomorrow I'm going to have to hit it hard to finish the week strong.
Good nutrition: Check
Stomach bug (again): Check
Yesterday morning I thought it was the pancakes DH made. I cannot eat pancakes on an empty stomach because they ALWAYS make me feel sick. Which they did. But I never felt better as the day trudged on, so I left work early at 3PM. All of the rest of the afternoon/evening plus the entire day today I have been down.
This morning about 10:30AM the school nurse called to say Joshua was there complaining of his stomach, so I sent DH to go pick him up. Now there are two sickies in the house.
Clearly no exercise for me yesterday or today. Also no eating, so hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I feel really bad because we got like 6 inches, or more, snow today that all stuck and is beautiful and powdery. That almost never happens in Texas, so I wanted for us to get to go out and play in it. There is always tomorrow, right?
Exercise still in full-force except for tonight. Joshua's 1st grade musical was tonight and it was so much fun! They all did such a great job and it was neat to see all the costumes. He does not particularly love performing but he mostly gave it the 'ol college try.
I have applied to enter a leadership prep course at work, which was a feat in an of itself because they only solicit certain people, then they only agreed to let certain applications get to the main pool, then from that pool of people they only granted interviews to a few. That is as far as I've made it, so after the interview I'll know if I'm in or not. Don't be too impressed, because there are no guarantees about anything, even if I make it in.
I can't even journal about things at home right now. I do believe I have actually locked my feelings SO tight inside myself that I can't even get to them right now. If ever anything sounded more like a pile of crap I haven't heard it. But somehow it's true. I'm just really miserable and don't know what to do.
On a good note, I'm heading out of town tomorrow with a friend, and a friend of this friend, to go on a women's retreat. Does it even matter where we are going? Nope. I badly need some "me" time and think this will be super super good for me to get away. There will be yoga, jewelry making, reflection time, and I'm not sure what else. Doesn't even matter!