So sick today. Not rejection actually think the kidney is working too well. Nobody I know is sick so hopefully it's just this evil staph! But I've been to the clinic, avoided being admitted for today. But if not looking better tomorrow back to jail I go. The reject home health nurse ****ed up my picc but fortunately they were able to save it this morning at clinic. Won't know anymore until my labs come back. Stat, yeah right! It's already been 2 hours and still no results. Going to take 10mgs of valium and a zofran and hopefully pass out.
What a bitter sweet day today is. Tonight as I gather with my family to celebrate my one month anniversary of good health I know that tonight somewhere a family is going to be crying, asking why.
This morning a friend sent my an email and in it she quoted from the JS song: "I sit and wait does an angel contemplate my fate......"
God bless you "angel" and may he watch over and comfort your family on today the one month anniversary of the day you truely did become one of His Angels in heaven. We have a candle lit for you today, tomorrow, always. Though we never met you mean as much to me as my family.
Even though I've not gotten the go ahead for some reason I just had to do it today, I had to put on my shoes and dance. And I can't wait to go back to work because I've just choreographed the most beautiful lyrical piece I've ever seen in my life, out of myself, or any other choreographer I know. So much so that dh's cousin is meeting me in the morning to look at it.
I'm so sick and tired of this all. I got the okay to finally drive and dance from the surgeon on Wed. He did say though that they were going to send me to radiology and drain the pocket. Okay well they failed to inform us that we'd be there until 5 or so. And he said worst case I'd end up with a drain in. So Okay. Here we go. FIRST case senerio to the stupid radiologist is to put in a ****ing drain. And this time it isn't the JP bulb it's an accordian. It's got a 500 ml bag hanging on it. Okay now reality is the pocket is only 4 cms. How in the world or why in the world did you put this huge thing in my body? Of course by 8 that night we were back at the hospital with complications. Go figure.
I'm weak, I feel horrible and I can't take anymore of this. I want my life back. And do you know how sick and tired I am of hearing "look to the future". If one more person says that I'm going to blow. I have to look at right now because that is where I am.
So now, I still can drive. I don't go to have this drain out until Wed. My brother and sil are coming in with my nephews from Louisville tomorrow and we have our company family fun day on Sunday. So I guess I'm just going to try to push on and not look like too big of a freak on a leash. Unlike the other this is not something I can hide. I tried to yesterday and well, it is just impossible.
I've been spending money like crazy. Fortunately it has all been towards Christmas though. Well, and some for me. I've ordered Mom's gift from QVC. They have some great stuff. She collects Beleek (Sp?) from Ireland so I bought her a lamp. She's always wanted one. Now if I can just keep all these gifts from everyone as I suck at keeping secrets.
Next week I do have Jenn, Ev and baby Josh coming to visit so that is something to look forward to. Joshua is doing so amazing. He is 8 mos old but his adjusted age is 5 mos. He is already 26.5 inches long and 16 almost 17 pounds! And the doctor is amazed by his development. I can't wait to see him again. He better not gain three pounds before he gets here or I won't be able to pick him up, lol.
I hope my sil likes the bible I bought her. She is starting RCIA and I bought her the one like mine with the daily devotionals. I bought my brother the bar set like dh's that he loves. The baby is getting a bible and a check and Landon is getting wood blocks. So tomorrow should be fun.
I am going so stir crazy. From Socialite to Simple life here for sure. In the almost four years we've been in this house I don't think I've ever spent as many hours in it as I have in the past month! And too bad I don't have the energy to do anything!
Dh bought me a cool giraffe matted picture frame at hobby lobby and he got me some scrapbook stuff, too. I wish I had the energy to work on my albums. But I don't. Ugh.
Chris is such a sweetheart. He is at Tower Records buying me some new cds. He just dropped Em off at the studio and needed to kill some time. He remembered me saying I wanted some cds.
We aren't going to the company fun day today. I just really don't feel like it and it's really hot out today. Besides I do look like a freak. Chris has to cut the back and front yards when he gets home. I've begged him to let Palmer come do the back but he is so picky. Nobody but the dogs sees the back so who cares.
Em wants to sleep at grama's tonight so maybe we'll let her. Not much else is going on. We went to mom and dad's for dinner last night. My oldest brother is leaving for China Tuesday morning for two weeks with work. He is not looking forward to the 24 hours of flying, neither would I. Hopefully he'll do okay.
So dh decided to have my family over for an impromptu bbq last night. An old friend we haven't seen in a couple of years came and it was a blast! The girls roasted marshmallows. Chris made his moppin chicken, blackeyed peas, potato salad and of course italian bread w/ sesoned olive oil.
Then Em went home with grama and Chris and I spent the night hanging out outside listening to cds. It was great.
I'm actually having a decent day today. Jenn, Ev and the baby will be here in about 4 hours from Texas on their big move back to NY. I wish they could spend more than just three days here though.
I'm going to lunch with dh and the guys today. Haven't done that in so long. I miss life as it was.
Got to go downtown first and buy a ton more stuff from the W store for everyone at work and I have an order from a few of the neighbors. So cool our whole workplace and our whole street is Republican. No wonder they are such good people. And dh said to write the check for 25 hundred over. Cool deal. Then I think I may stop by Peebles because it's never crowded there and pick up something to give to Joshua when he gets here. He's already in 12 months clothes. You would never know he was three months premature. He looks like an 8 month old not a 5 month old. Such a little miracle.
Thank god I've got my laptop back. I hate Sony with a passion. The ****ing thing that is barely two years old just cost $600 to fix. But dh insisted we fix it I just wanted to buy one of those el cheapo Dell's for that money but nope. So anyway.
I had surgery on Tuesday for the stint/cath removal. All went wonderful and I am doing pretty good. Sore but I'm refusing to take the drugs so I guess I can't complain.
We've been so busy it's unreal. One thing right after another. I start back to work on Monday and I'm super excited. Having Ana's baby shower here next Sunday. That'll be so fun. I've got to order the cake and flower arrangements tomorrow. I'm getting them the stroller/carseat combo. Mom is getting them the pack and play and Mer is getting them the swing. They should be all set with those for at first.
One of the stupid garage doors fell last night. C had pushed the button and it made a hell of a noise and crash one whole side came down right on top of the Expedition. It didn't hurt it too badly. Glad that I parked it out there and the five hundred in the attatched or we'd of been buying the damned car for sure if it would of gotten damaged.
This house is cursed. I swear it is. I will never buy a new house again. They are built so cheaply, no matter how much money you spend! Of course we'll probably keep this one forever.