Ugh, I have a headcold. And I'm feeling disheartened by my latest BFN. I'm a sad panda
I haven't been around much over the weekend. My husband has tried and succeeded to get me into one of his hobbies. You're not going to believe this, cause I barely do: Yu-Gi-Oh!
Like the card game. I'm all about it now. So are my friends. This is what you get for showing interest in your husband, you get turned into a loser. Seriously, trekkies look down upon Yu-Gi-Oh! players.
On the bright side the wing I work in was named after a guy who dies working here, I've just discovered, so I think I'm in the running for the other wing's naming rights. I've always wanted something named after me. Also I get to skip this year's fluvax, seeing how it'd be both pointless and dangerous since I already have the flu.
Do chickens actually get chicken pox? Has anyone ever heard of this happening?
Also, my coffee vs potato theory is holding up quite nicely. My poignant, carefully worded and decisive arguments in the debate forums are overlooked, whereas one I wrote on the fly out of pure boredom has, of course, become the staple argument of the thread and everyone's *****ing at me now. I think I should write a paper on this.
Well, it's been a few days since I've posted, I've been in bed feeling sorry for myself. My flu was a shocker. Kevin has been marvelous of course. While cooped up in bed I got to watching an anime series called Death Note, which I highly recommend for anyone who liked philosophical and intelligent drama, but denounce for anyone who doesn't like to watch bad guys win. It's uncomfortable to watch, but completely rivetting.
On another note, AF showed herself yesterday, which I have to say I'm glad for. TTC is so psychosomatic for me I was worried that she wouldn't show up for months and keep me hanging. I've started charting properly this month so Kevin and I can do it seriously.
I'm keeping up the job hunt for when my constract here ends. Apparently they're looking for someone over in Ballarat, which is a fair way away but I went to uni there and the shopping is superb. Really gorgeous antiques. Most big franchises have a store there too. Bendigo is nice, but there's more money in Ballarat, less unemployment, so it's generally a higher standard of living.
I've started ebaying, as Kevin and I need the money for his visa in the next 6-8 weeks, a whopping 2200$. I'm trying to sell off my excess crap. But frankly I feel good about my finances right now. Things aren't as grim as they could be, I'm even getting on top of my debt. It's a nice place to be in.
It seems like I've developed a fan base. The views for this thread broke 500 by a fair whack since I last checked, which I'm very flattered by. The PMs I get are so encouraging. My mother has always told me to write down my story, since she thinks it's amazing and it's nice to know she's not the only one. Usually my writing is purely fictional, but maybe I should take a shot at writing the truth and seeing how entertaining I really am. I might even wavey flashback style tell you ladies the real story behind internet romance.
Anyway, sorry for the disjointed post, I still have a killer headache and I'm all stuffed up so I'm not concentrating very well. I'll come back to my musings when I'm on top of my game again.
Ah, the debate board, so much fun till someone singles you out.
Anyway, the last few days have been pretty average. Home, work, home, work, a few hours sleep, it's not really exciting. I've been enjoying the tedium really, just the chance to spend some time with my husband. He's so lovely, I hope we always laugh together the way we do now.
We're going to see my dad on the weekend, which should be fun. The vineyard would make a nice change to just staying at home all the time.
I never should have made an eBay account, but I couldn't help myself. Now I'm going to spend all my money on nothing. *sigh* I've sealed my own fate.
It's been a few days since my last post. Things are pretty good ^_^
My flu is finally going away, so I'm feeling great. Unfortunately Kevin is getting it, so I guess I'll be taking care of him pretty soon. other than that things at home are going really well.
We're still trying to save up the money for his visa, which is proving to be difficult, but my parents seem aware that we'll be needing help with that. His stupid card game, it seems, has great money making potential it seems. So that's really good. It'd give him something to keep himself occupied if nothing else.
My nephew's christening is coming up ^_^ That should be fun. Seems like the family is coming together a lot these days. I managed to get my hands on some more wedding photos. When they're all in I can start doing photo albums, which will be great. All my male friends have crushes on one or more of my sisters, which is sweet in a creepy way or creepy in a sweet way.
I've realised that Kevin and I bicker non-stop, this has to stop. I'm going to have to keep myself in check.
You know what I didn't post today? The dream I had last night. It's a bit fuzzy by now but I'll try to remember.
So it started with my parents and my sisters and I going to some kind of function. And it was with the king of NZ (for those of you who don't know, NZ does not have a king). And he was a scrawny guy who was incredibly, painfully pale. But he had this wild barbaric mohawk with all these plaits and dreadlocks and stuff, and was wearing all this tribal clothing, loincloth and all. And he didn't speak English but somehow my family understood "kiwi" and were translating that he'd fallen in love with me and we're all urging me to go get him. And I didn't want to cause he looked like a scrawny twerp but they were all into it cause he was royalty. But what he could do was roar like a cougar, which was cool. And then everything was underwater but we could still breathe, and to romance me the king let me pat his pets, which were black goldfish the size of rhinos, who had mandibles instead of mouths, and I was freaked out but when I patted them they felt like.... kinda like an old person's skin, soft but loose. And they liked being scratched behind the ears, it made them purr.
Then it all changed as dreams do. I was in this chinese store with my oldest sister, Beck. And I was there to buy something and on the way out I saw that they had a few bits of clothing, including a beautiful wedding dress, and I knew it wouldn't fit me cause it was for chinese women, but Beck decided to try some stuff on and it fit cause she's teensy. And then I saw from the new manager's point of view, and he was a tosser. You know the type. And he was watching Beck try on the dresses outside her clothes from the security camera and fell for her. And then he was going through the shop to find her and chat her up, but he was like one of those movie characters who's so up themselves and was all like "this stock is so cool! How good am I for knowing how cool it would be?" But he was right, it was awesome, the only thing I actually remember was like double life-size human puppets in sort of comedia d'elatte style. But it was all cool stuff. And he got so caught up that he never reached Beck. But as she was trying this see through dress on and taking off her clothes underneath to see how it looked on its own, she changed into my sister Saima trying it on over full hijaab.
And then Kevin woke me up and I wish he hadn't cause it was a cool dream.
The internet is such a toxic place. It really, really is. There is so much information, it's spectacular, but the real problem is that there are also people.
We all have opinions and beliefs, things we feel strongly about. And on the internet, when we choose to interact with people, we are almost CERTAIN to find someone who believes exactly the opposite. Not only do they believe the opposite, but they are willing and ready to loudly voice the most idiotic, ignorant and abhorrent of views. It can't just be me. For anyone worried, I'm not talking about the debate boards, 95% of the time I find even people who disagree with me to be well-spoken and intelligent. the rest are at least tolerable.
It reminds me of that wonderful saying: never argue with an idiot, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
That being said, I do adore some arguments. My favourites are the ones that leave you flabbergasted. I've had a few of them in my life, including one last night, and these are the special brand of arguments when you know you're right beyond a doubt, but your opponent both insists that you're wrong and then mocks you about it. These arguments aren't the kind of thing you can be wrong about. Something like, if your contention is "in a standard birth, a human being is born with five fingers on each hand." And whoever you're arguing with insists that the correct number is six without counting his own fingers, and then proceeds to make jokes about how you'd do on a piano. They're more funny than anything else, because I'm usually too surprised to be angry at such accusations.
So that about sums up today. I am now staying the hell away from the political forums.
I am a HAPPY PANDA today.
I woke up in a good mood, you know? I woke up on the right side of the bed, which oddly enough is Kevin's side of the bed. We decided to switch last night. I've been off my anti-depressants for six weeks now, and I think I'm managing without them. Even the bad things aren't looking so bad, I'm just feeling optimistic.
Our lights have blown in the house, almost all of them. We have the kitchen and laundry lights still up. It's not as bad as it could be, since the house only have 4 rooms and two of them still have light in at least half of them. I feel this could best be explained through a dodgy MS Paint diagram.
As you can see, the kitchen and laundry can illuminate everything except the bedroom. So we have some candles going. It's kind of romantic. I'm liking it. We'll probably save a bunch on electricity. The landlords have given us no schedule for getting them back on. See I can change a lightbulb myself, but the problem is that the sockets are so rusted that we accidentally pulled half the wiring out trying to unscrew the dead bulb. The others didn't come out, but the bulbs were unwilling to budge. It's a tricky business wrangling with something that's made of painfully delicate glass and is at least 4 feet above your head. Ah well, I'm not depressed about it. Which is the main thing.
Also, sex is very romantic when had by candlelight. Sex has been awesome lately.
The cats are also less desperate for attention now that they have two people to harrass. It's quite cute actually, Aurum the little one sleeps in the bottom corner of my side of the bed, Tungsten sleeps in Kevin's corner. They're our guardcats. Kind of like those chinese lions that guard enterances. only fluffy!
Okay, I'll be back later with more bad Paint drawings.
Someone should take the Paint away from me. I decided to do a family tree. I think it explains a lot about me.
Actually, that needs some explanation. The red lines are deaths, blue lines are divorces, pink lines are marriages. The green people are my generation, purple my parents' and orange are our gens' children. The circles are girls and the squares are boys. Oh and I seem to have forgotten my stepmother. Her name is Kaye and her ex husband is Cameron.
I don't usually do three posts in a day, but I am SO ANGRY. My good mood has been completely dashed. Just ruined!
Yu-Gi-Oh gone bad, if you would believe it. We've started buying massive ammounts of cards to sell for profit, which isn't going badly but the inital outlay is painful. We're quite strapped for cash, and this is hurting, even if it will help in the long run. We desperately need 2000$ to keep Kevin in Australia legally, and if we can't raise it I'm going to have to ask my parents for help.
This week fortnight we've spent about 200$ on the cards, winning us around 800 cards with a net worth of around 500$. Kevin is also having 2000 cards shipped over from America. Those he already owned so we don't ower anything on. We also have our personal deck, totalling around 150 cards. For those of you keeping score, that's about 3000 cards. Three thousand. You play with a deck of 40.
Kevin has decided he wants to make a new deck. I made it perfectly clear that it was fine that he did that, but at least until my next pay we could not afford to buy anymore. He was spending today in town and told me he intended to buy another pack of 5, I told him it was completely inappropriate, as they cost 10$ a pack, and we could not only get the right cards cheaper on eBay, but we had vowed not to spend anymore money on them this week. Especially not for personal use, the ones we are buying are to sell.
Then I stupidly gave him 20$. He doesn't earn money, so I gave him money for lunch in town and a taxi home because he doesn't know the bus routes yet. He was going to spend the day with the boys. He never gets out of the house and I was really happy that he was going to spend some time keeping friends and hanging out in town.
Lo and behold, I get to work and an hour later I get a phone call that he decided to spend the money on cards, and then went back home because he didn't have money for lunch anymore. I could KILL HIM. I could just ****ing kill him.
I kiss goodbye to designer shoes, nights out with the girls, a well stocked fridge, not to mention the new clothes I desperately need, my maid, appliances to replace the old dying ones, a new bed and couch when the old ones broke, tailor made cigarettes and EVERY OTHER ****ING LUXURY I HAD, and he can't be BOTHERED to go without 5 more cards to add onto the THREE THOUSAND we have coming in next week.
If he really didn't want to stay in town like I wanted him to, then he could have spent that money on tonight's dinner, on a new pack of toilet paper or medicine or any of the other things we need and are scraping to afford, even just saved it for another day! But no, those will be coming out of the money I get to spend on myself, and next time he wants money that will be coming out of my money too.
The thing that makes me really mad is that I call myself stupid for trusting him with money. That next time I will have to think about it. I never wanted to do that.
WOW. I had the best weekend. What a weekend it was. It's taking me some time to process. It all started on thursday night. My Adam works at a 5 star resort on the Great Ocean Road. One of the wonders of the world, it's a kind of paradise. We live about 4 hours away from there, 6 by bus and train. Adam usually comes home when he gets a few days off work, but his work screwed him around, keeping him in Lorne for 3 straight weeks, with only two days off. So he was pretty depressed about that, being that he's chronically depressed about everything.
Those of you who read my last nonsensical rant will know I was pissed off at Kevin on Thursday night because he was spending money on himself, and I realised what was really pissing me off was that I hadn't spent a cent on myself in so long, so I decided to have a girls night out. Me and Leslie headed to the pub for drinkies. we did have drinkies, discussed our respective godboxes, and talked far too loudly about sex in a public place. Then we picked up her husband, Deej, and headed back to my place. Gareth came round too, so we had a little thing. A little drinkies party.
So anyway, after quite a few drinks, Lele and I decided that it was absolutely time to go on a roadtrip to see Adam. We had a beach hankering. It was a good hankering, but we were extremely drunk and could not go right then. Side note: Lele's bodyweight makes her a perfect designated driver. It takes her so long to get even tipsy that she can totally join in the party and still be right to drive, it's awesome.
So I spent Friday off remembering fallen heros and chillin with my husband. Then Saturday morning it was time. Kevin decided he was too sickly, I think he was just piking, but either way we left Kevin and Deej behind and decided to have girltimes. We picked up Lele's friend Cali on the way.
Someone brought beer, I think it might have been me, and for the first time in forever I joined in with the wedd that we passed around. In about half an hour we we had the giggles. For some reason we needed to pee every half hour, so we went on a restroom tour of Victoria. If you can catch herpes from a toilet seat: we now have it. And that's all I'll say on that matter.
It was the most indulgent thing, driving up. We were all about the caring and sharing, we passed around coffee, fruit, cigarettes, lollies, I don't think anyone had a whole anything, we shared it all. We laughed about everything, Lele being so damn rightwing conservative she declared one of the town to be full of "sorcerers and hommosexuals" which none of us could stop laughing about. I'm sure the details of this trip are far less interesting when you're not high on weed, so I'll skip straight to Lorne.
Adam's resort was totally deluxe. We've decided that one weekend we have to stay there and act like rich people. It's a well known rule at the bar that you can hook up your mates, so when confronted with three giggling, wet, barefooted hooligans, they did the only thing they could do: made us cocktails. Cali had some sort of fruits of the grove affair, Lele had a champagne with pink stuff, and I had a chocolatey creamy thing, which smelled like chocolate fudge but tasted like unadulterated alcohol. That had us well rorted.
We decided to retire to Adam's house, which is some kind of manor on a hill. You can see the ocean from his balcony. His flatmate was there. He had a very thick Kiwi accent and I think they called him Tonga. I couldn't really tell because I was so drunk and stoned by then, so I named him Steve. He preferred Stephan so we reached a compromise. he was very cool about three girlies coming and making themselves at home in his place, he was really quite nice.
We set up on the couch and Lele made chicken parmigana for dinner, which was nice. I had the munchies real bad, so I sat down and ate an entire packet of chips one after the other. It was a mistake. I'm okay with it though.
So I went to bed fairly early, I think the others hit the beach at 2amish. I would have liked to go but I was so tired that it was impossible. It was a good enough nights sleep, and there was vegemite toast in the morning. I have to say that place is such a bachelor pad. The only things in the fridge were margarine, half a bit of cake and the things we brought along.
The town was such a tourist trap, coffee in the morning cost us a bomb. Then we headed down to the beach. It wasn't as freezing cold as the previous day, so we took off our shoes and waded through the waves. Lorne had amazing rock pools on the beach. I held a starfish. Lele tickled an anenome. Cali kind of went roaming. I did find out that my fear of insects is actually a fear of any small living thing. I think it's based in their propensity to be in small places that I can't see.
So we went home, leaving Adam to be miserable in paradise. We did offer to break his knees to get him out of work. I don't know the exact point of order that tossed that plan out. But regardless we went home without him. Defying logic it took us eight hours to make a three or four hour trip.
And that was our roadtrip ^_^ We've decided to do it again.
So until next time, you sorcerers and hommosexuals.