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  1. #41
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    Default A conundrum of ethics

    Can you hate a N azi?

    Usually I let this thing censor when I use words that can be censored, and I have avoided that this time because I mean an actual, heil hitler, jew hating N azi circa 1942.

    The reason you can object to their philosophy is that they hate someone based on their race, religion, political affiliation, etc.

    And yet by hating them you yourself will be hating someone for their political affiliation and religious beliefs.

    This may seem a little theoretical but honestly I've had several extreme right-wingers piss me off today. I believe in everyone having the right to do, say and think whatever it is they please within the limits of the law. In fact I think a few laws should be ammended because they prevent things that I can't see any secular problem with. And yet people with the view that people should be controlled, restricted, that it's immoral to work outside the limit of religion or political affiliation or whatever.... they drive me up the wall.

    Is it ethically hypocritical or an unavoidable paradox? Is it right to want to stop someone doing something that stops someone else doing something else?



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  2. #42
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    Default Banned accounts

    Wow it's a big thing. What was it, like ten people? That's an incredibile amount of effort for zero benefit. I mean, if she was conning people out of money, it wouldn't be any nicer but at least I could see the point.

    I could care more, I think. If I really thought about it and devoted the time and effort I could probably be really pissed off. If nothing else about the emotional attachment some people form for fake personalities, at which point it becomes cruel. But really, I can't be bothered putting that kind of effort in right now, I have my own worries without anyone else's.

    But really what does upset me is that it breeds distrust. I'm perfectly used to these weirdos who get off on multi-accounting it. But then I'm also perfectly used to greeting the dawn from behind my keyboard and know how to hotwire a computer. Not everyone on these forums are internet junkies like me.

    I lead a fairly exciting life, I make a point of it, in fact I'm so easily bored that I will go out of my way to do something worth talking about. And I inherit that from my family, all of us are easily bored and able to conveniently ignore consequences that have not yet affected us. It leads to a lot of news, a lot of injury, a lot of relatives and a lot of drama. this wouldn't be the first forum where I was "called out" on something that was 100% true. It's not because I defy belief, it's because there are trolls who try to make out that they're interesting without actually putting in the effort.

    So in the interests of continuing my comfortable semi-anonymous existance, only being squicked at when I provoke people, I'm going to do something that I've been meaning to do for ages. I'm going to add pictures to my family tree! ^_^

    Now I am missing a few, I haven't seen either of my oldest brothers since Saima's second wedding, don't generally keep photos of my dad's exs or their exs and only have access to a certain amount of photos from my workdesk, but here you go




    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  3. #43
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    Default Tips on how to lead an interesting life

    As you may be able to tell by two posts in half an hour, I am kind of squicked out by this whole troll thing. So I thought I'd write an informative guide to the professional troll on how to have something to create interest without lying. This is also useful to the layperson sick of having nothing to talk about aside from the weather.

    So here it is, 5 simple steps to leading an interesting life and how they will help.


    1. Make friends with a rock band.
    This may lead to:
    -Taking up car surfing
    -Amateur body piercings
    -Being convinced your friend is a rainbow god
    -Playing guitar on the beach at sunset
    -Road trips
    -Visits to the emergency room at 4am


    2. Go to a LAN party.
    This may lead to:
    -Being able to wire an electrical circuit with a tea candle and a roll of maksing tape
    -A broad and worldly knowledge of the fine art of foul language
    -Caffiene poisoning
    -4 hours sleep over 3 days
    -Falling in with the wrong crowd
    -Getting a frag count


    3. Go to a non-denominational church.
    This may lead to:
    -Flag waving
    -Singing
    -Praising the Lord
    -Blowing on horns/trumpets/seashells.
    -Getting into the spirit of things
    -Awesome afterparties

    4. Throw an open houseparty.
    This may lead to:
    -Improvisational replacement of all of your belongings
    -Glow in the dark silly string permanently welded to your ceiling
    -Singing
    -The playing of drinking games
    -Strip poker
    -Cake eating
    -Trivial pursuit


    5. Fall in with the wrong crowd.
    This may lead to:
    -The sudden appearance of rainbows and unicorns in your day-to-day life
    -A new appreciation for the depth of body mutilation culture
    -Many trips to the emergency room
    -Improvisational replacement of all of your belongings
    -A new appreciation for how hilarious GBSTV is.


    So there you have it, Emeli's advice on how to spice up your life ^_^



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  4. #44
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    OMG.

    I was just bored and reading back through my old posts, and I stumbled across a debate thread I did a hit and run on ages ago. The girls there thought that I said a child deserved to get AIDS.... I really wish I'd checked back and cleared that up, but I thought the post was so innocuous that I didn't bother.

    The exact quote was:

    "...if a child that age is having sexual contact then whoever it's with probably deserves AIDS."

    They thought... I meant... It was a bit of an awkward sentence, but really! The kid they were talking about was like six! Like I give a damn about the health and wellbeing of someone who would have sex with a six-year-old!

    At least I learned my lesson about hit and run on the debate threads, it's not something I usually do. I hope everyone saw the posts some other girls wrote explaining the misinterpretation, it might hurt my reputation as a debater if people think I advocate children getting AIDS. :S



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  5. #45
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    I think I need to go back to pill-munching. Mm, delicious pills. I thought I could handle the depression without them, but that was real stupid. I probably getting one bad day in every five. After the wedding I was one bad day in every ten. It's getting more frequent. But even when I don't feel crappy there are symptoms. I can barely get out of bed in the morning, I'm constantly late for work because I'm needing to sleep 14 hours a day. I can't get motivated to do anything. It's easier to manage my marriage because this time around I know what's happening, I still fall to pieces over tiny things but I can say to Kevin "I'm just depressed, it's not really that bad, baby" instead of "HOW could you do this to your WIFE, you miserable BASTARD!" That's a pretty big improvement. And this time last year I had one good day in every five instead of the opposite. But I feel like I'm slipping back towards that point and it's just not worth it.

    On a related matter, you know what I hate about doctors? They can't give you a straight answer. They're so petrified of being sued that if there's even a one in a billion chance that it could go differently to what they're thinking, then they will **** you around so they can avoid responsibility for the decision.

    The question I ask is: "are my anti-depressants likely to affect a pregnancy?" The answer I get is: "Oh, well, it's classified as untested in pregnancy." Not "It's possible but I've never seen it", not "Let me look up the ingredients and see if anything rings a bell as dangerous", but something completely not useful in my decision making at all. It's not like I'm asking for a guarantee, just something to point me in the right direction with a realistic assessment of the risks. And my doctor was the only GP in a country town for about 15 years, she handled every pregnancy, birth, post-natal care case that happened in that town for 15 years. She knows what medications do. She just doesn't want to tell me something that might not apply in my case. It pisses me off. It pisses me off that they do it, and it pisses me off that they have a reason to. I could be skipping along on a rainbow right now, but I'm not, I'm irrational, angry and very, very sad, because I have no idea if taking the medication to get me better is a good or bad idea.

    I went to see a geneticist yesterday. She was very beautiful with this gorgeous Swiss accent. No woman should be that perfect, could be a movie star, chose to be a rocket scientist. That's not playing fair with us mere mortals. Anyway, i wanted to find out if my dad's blindness was X chromosomal recessive, meaning I would pass it down to my sons. Turns out that in order to properly test they need to first test my dad. That has about as much chance of happening as my sons being born with a golden glow and able to strangle snakes in the crib. However, from what we think it is, the gene is not on the X chromosome. So that's good news.

    I wanna go back to uni. I think I want to be a doctor. I know that sounds a little insane, but in this country it's a piece of cake to go back to uni. I went in at a very young age and couldn't keep up with the work, but maybe with a few more years under my belt, a bit more maturity, some extra support at home, I could do it. Maybe I'd be a programmer or something, I dunno. I want to advance my career, I want to advance my skills. I'm smart, if my IQ test and geneaology are to be believed I'm ridiculously smart. I can do advanced calculus, I retain information well enough that I was able to talk in medical terminology with the geneticist from what I learned in year 10, and I've been writing at a university level since year 9. I'm just not very disciplined. That's partly the depression. Maybe I should take up cocaine.

    Maybe I won't take up cocaine.

    It's so stupid and juvenile but that geneticist got to me. I want to be that. I want to be the one who makes people look at me and think "it's not fair that she gets to be the way she is and I have to be the way I am." God, that even sounds stupid to me. But being as whimsical as I am it's my want. And I can be better than I am. I've proven it a dozen times. I think it's a special thing to be able to affect real change within yourself. And i've done it.

    While we're not on the topic, censorship. We has it. I'm not a censorship n*zi, I fully understand it, and I support what they're doing on this forum, keeping language civil. However I'd like to cite two examples.

    One is the worse kind. Yu-Gi-Oh online. Stupid I know, but my husband plays so I get into it. They have very young kids and poorly programmed censorship. So the main currency of the game, given to you by a duelpass, is actually given to you by a duelp***, I t**ught something while ingame. In that case, I don't think it actually helps. Bet you never knew the word "thought" was dirty. They'd like to point out that it can be, if anyone would like to know. It's something I find with American censorship a lot, in the attempt to wield the cleaning power of a hydrocolonic irrigation, they actually make things a lot dirtier by turning otherwise innocent things into something with veiled filthiness. Yes, ladies, typing the word thought is actually just a bulked up way of calling someone a ho. Bet you never knew till they pointed it out.

    One is the better kind. The funny kind. This is the Something Awful forums. There instead of bleeping out a word, they change it. This is probably necessary for the large amount of extremely distasteful language that goes on there. So, instead of f*ck, they say gently carress. Instead of sh*t they say poopie. It is actually more effective I think, because instead of our brains replacing the **** words with what was actually written, the foul rant of a disturbed individual becomes something jolly and hilarious. "I wanna gently carress her!" "What a load of poopie!" "I'm gunna kick your round bottom!" It's funny. It gives me a laugh.

    So anyway, that's it from me for now, back to you in the studio.
    Last edited by Emeli; 05-15-2008 at 08:59 PM.



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  6. #46
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    Default AARGH

    I have PROOF!

    They all thought I was crazy, "Susan," they'd say, "She's unstable, she's mad." Jeffrey the Security Spider may be just an urban myth, but oh NO! This time I have photographic evidence!

    This place DOES produce enormous creepy crawlies of malicious intent!



    The biggest grasshopper I have ever seen just tried to KILL ME!

    I was walking to the store, between the wall and the front bumpers of the cars, when he leapt out on the bonnet, scaring the bejibblies out of me. And completely humiliating me in front of the old man sitting in the car. So on my way back I took some time to get a photo and walked around the back of the cars, one of which didn't see me and tried to run me over.

    So that's my story of how I was nearly killed by a gigantic grasshopper.



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  7. #47
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    I'm sick again. It makes a lot more sense now that my doc has told me my immune system is pathetic. Still, there's a certain amount of inconvenience that goes with getting the flu every three weeks.

    I think the best think about being sick is that it comes with a certain feeling of invincibility, like there's no way I could possibily feel worse than I do right now. Parade every ex boyfriend I've ever had past me, the onyl way my nose would be out of joint would be when I blew it in a most disturbing and gross way. A nuclear bomb could hit and I'd walk out of the wreckage looking exactly like I do now and ask, "Does anyone have a Strepsil?" Strepsils rock.

    So a hot cup of coffee and a slower than usual work day are in order, which is nice. I must be pushing one hell of a fever, cause it's a cold rainy winter's day and I'm finding my jacket unbearably hot. At least smoking isn't wreacking too much havock on my system. Everyone seems to think that being sick is the perfect time to give up smoking. This is not true, because when you're feeling this crappy the last thing you want to do is add withdrawal onto your already long list of symptoms. And if you've been smoking longer than a week it's not like it hurts your throat anymore if you do it in moderation.

    So it's now 40 days until I move to Perth. I'm excited. And anxious. And a bunch of other stuff. I'm getting a lot of anxiety attacks. Which is fairly unpleasant. If I could only have a day off work to see my doctor, but heaven knows when that'll happen. The thing about anxiety attacks is that they're hardest when they're completely subconscious. If you know you're worried about something, it's not so bad, cause you can make a decision to relax, reassure yourself. Right now my heart is thundering in my chest and I can hardly breathe and I have absolutely no idea why. Maybe I'm anxious about the move. Maybe it's that I don't have a guaranteed job after this one. Maybe I'm worried that I took yesterday off which means less pay and a harder time next week. I do not know. All I can do is try to generically relax. It's rough.

    But, enough of my mentally ill shennanigans. I have a TV again! I have mixed feelings about it but it is nice to curl up on the couch and zone out with Kevin. We've been having top quality cuddles lately.

    And that's about it from me for now.



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  8. #48
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    It's 1 hour until my interview. I'm just sitting in my chair jittering. I got the jibblies. TBH I did not think I stood a chance at this job. I forgot to attach my cover letter when I sent the application, so I pretty much wrote it off. I could not have been more surprised to hear from them.

    The job is a big one. Lots of coding and development, lots of customer liason, lots of travel, heaps of pay. This could be my ticket to a real career in IT. I'm not sure they'll want me, my coding skills are quite limitted. But then, in Perth there's not much choice about those sort of things. The jobs are many and the workers are few.

    My sister emailed me yesterday. She'd been planning to put me up when I got to Perth regardless of whether or not I had a job. Which is a pretty bold move, seeing as she and I had massive problems last time we lived together. But then her rent was being raised to 400$ a week and she couldn't afford it. Kevin and I offered to chip in the extra 60$ a week, but it means I must go over there with a job. There's no ifs, buts or maybes. They're desperate for experienced admins there, it's about half the pay but enough to live on and I've done the admin thing before. The time for picking and choosing draws to a close right now. I was never going to be picky, but I was keeping my jobsearch limitted to things that would keep me on this career path. I'm a good office worker, I might have to settle for something less than I was hoping for. It's all good though, I'll find a job, me and Sim will be like peas and carrots again.

    I'm really looking forward to leaving this job. It's nice here. It's cushy, no one cares if I blog while at work. The coffee is good. The pay is good. The hours are fine and there's a lovely rose garden outside. But the work is too easy, I have too much time on my hands. When I'm 45 and working one of the top roles I'd love to return here, but if I stayed here I would never advance in my career. There's no challenge. I'm happy to be moving on, though I will miss the people here.



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  9. #49
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    It went okay. There were a few moments when he seemed entirely unenthusiastic, but in an hourlong interview what can you expect? I think I'm into the second round of interviews. I'm not going to post much on the topic because I don't want to get my hopes up. The job search still needs to be in full effect.



    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

  10. #50
    Super Poster Emeli's Avatar
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    Default Laughter

    I'm starting a "300 laughs per day" campaign on this board. It's important that we never stop laughing. It might be the most important thing in life to me, that no matter where I go, who I'm with, what state my world is in, I can still find something to make me laugh.

    I strongly encourage anyone who sees something funny to post it here, in my journal. Lolcats, funny stories, jokes, whatever you like, put it here. And I'm going to try to find something that makes me laugh every single day and share it with anyone who reads this thread. I still want to tell me story with this journal, but I want it to be told how I live it, with funny, witty things every single day.

    So to start things off, some funny pictures!













    J is for Journal, that's good enough for me.

    You could save ten lives, cure blindness, and give back a stolen chance at a normal life, want to know how?

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