Starting a new journal here......To all of my friends please feel free to comment on my entries in my journal....I can't always guarantee they will always be exciting or even that interesting....but they will be about me, my life and those who I love and are most important to me.
my heart hurts....i don't think i'm capable of shedding another tear....eyes so swollen and red they hurt....no mother should have to ever bury her own child.....yet thats exactly what i witnessed yet again yesterday....Monday was my cousin ricky's wake and prayer service....yesterday was his funeral.....i'm still in shock....it all seems so sureal to me.
it seems like only yesterday that ricky's older brother and i stood peering out his bedroom door in utter amazement as all of the adults huddled around this tiny little person who made weird noises and smelled funny....making comments about how precious he was....all taking turns holding him, cuddling him, and surounding him with so much love......at that moment it never crossed my mind that 24 short yrs later those same ppl would be huddled around him again crying from the pain of lossing him....yet that same love that has only grown stronger over the yrs still surrounded his now still lifeless body.
though he is no longer here with us physically....a part of ricky will live on in all us....he will continue to live on in my childhood memories....growing up in the same small town.....surrounded by 4 generations of relatives.....playing every day with your cousins.....such fond memories for me to carry with me for the rest of my life and to share with my own children.
there are very few ppl that one can say they have nothing but fond memories of....ricky is one of those ppl for me....i have nothing but good memories.....playing in piles of leaves that had fallen to the ground....summers spent swimming....playing baseball and time spent with family.....ricky will be forever missed....but his spirit will continue to live on in those of us who were blessed to have known him.