Alright, I'm going to give this journal thing a go. I blog all the time on another website so I thought I love this site a million times more so I'll do all that blogging here. Let's see.......quick synopsis of my life....
I grew up in Indiana, after high school I moved to Oklahoma where I met the love of my life, Jesse. We married when I was just 18 (almost 19) we married. A year later I had my first child, Jon David (2001). Then in April of 05 I had my second and last child, Zoey. I'm really quite wrapped up in my family. After I had Zoey I got my tubes tied. We had a very long, scary pregnancy with Zoey where I spent almost seven months on bedrest. She spent two weeks in the NICU before we brought her home. Let's see...Jon David was 9 lbs 11 ozs at birth, Zoey was 6 lbs 9 ozs. Jes is in the military and gone quite a bit. However, I am getting ready to have foot surgery so he will be home for awhile to help out. I'm so glad that they are being understanding. I am taking online classes right now working on my criminal justice degree, though I don't know what I want to be when I grow up . That's about all for tonight!
So, I'm on my deathbed. I've been sick with strep and an Upper Respitory Infection since Friday. This sucks! I don't do sick very well at all. Alright, back to bed it is!
This morning I woke up feeling like someone was sitting on my chest. Every breath and cough was killing me. So off to the dr once again (3rd time since Friday). I have pneumonia. This is like the bug that won't go away!!! The dr gave me a shot, some Zithromax, robutussin w/ codeine, and an inhaler. I am feeling a lot better, just tired now. I'm missing my family. I feel like I've ignored my kids for the last week. Thank goodness my husband is doing such an awesome job stepping up to the plate with everything. Alright, dh went and rented me a bunch of movies so off to go watch a few in bed .
So, feeling like the superman I'm not, I thought I was feeling so much better today and decided to go to the grocery store. I made it about halfway through when I started getting really dizzy and lightheaded. I haven't hardly been out of bed for a week. So I came back home and slept the rest of the day. I just woke up a little bit ago. Jes is making chicken, salad and bread. He's so awesome, taking care of everything around the house and the kids. I know his work is suffering some but he keeps telling me to stop worrying about it when I bring it up. He seems to be really enjoying taking care of the kids. I usually volunteer at the Ronald McDonald House every other Saturday night, but I just don't think I am going to be able to work this weekend. I don't want to expose everyone to these germs, plus I don't think I'm going to be feeling real great then. I have asthma too so pneumonia double sucks for me. Anyway, off to go eat dinner.
Alright, just woke up from a 3 hour nap. This illness is making me LAZY! Of course, taking medicine with codeine doesn't help.
Kinda feeling sad. Zoey is weaned now. I really wanted to nurse her until she was 2 but with my surgery coming up the thought of nursing was really stressful. She came up to me today and lifted my shirt. I stuck her on the breast for about two seconds and when she didn't get much she started "yelling" at me and then crawled off to play. It was pretty cute.
For my surgery........
I have having foot surgery one April 12th. I have to have some extra bones removed, my tendon reattached, and ankle reconstructed. I was born with these extra bones but they are starting to cause early arthritis because they make me use different muscles to walk. Long story, but it's going to suck. I have my first surgery in April. I'll be casted for awhile, then physical therapy. After I get strength back in that foot, I will have surgery on the other one. We are doing my right foot first which means no driving for like three months. I can't think too much about it or I get stressed!
I'm sure I'll be on my laptop a lot!
I am finally feeling better and back in the land of the living!!!
Our pastor preached a really awesome sermon last night. It was called, "God is HUGE, I am tiny." He said we can view life one of two ways. The first way being that this life is all about us, it's our story, and get really involved in a finite existence, or we can view it as our life is part of a bigger story that is infinite. If we view our life as part of a greater story that endures for all time, then why do we get so caught up in our story sometimes? Our story is not the "main" story. God's is. The point of the sermon was not to make us feel like meaningless creatures that are so tiny, but to realize that we serve a much greater force than ourselves that will go on forever and that God knows us and hears us in spite of how HUGE He is in the grand scheme of things, and how tiny we are in the bigger picture. It was just an awesome realization that in the small daily stuff I get stressed about, that doesn't matter in the end, God still cares about it. He still takes time out to listen to our feelings and our heart.
I am watching one of my friends right now go through a trial. She gave birth to twin boys nine weeks early. They are now two weeks old with no signs of coming home anytime soon. Her and her husband are holding up so well. When Zoey was in the NICU I was a wreck. I wish I would have had the peace and faith that they do. My heart goes out to them, because I have lived the NICU life, but I am so proud of them and awed by them. Everyone handles it different.
One positive thing I did take from our NICU experience was a great appreciation for the miracle of healthy children. We take it for granted our children will be born healthy. When I entered the hospital to have Zoey at 38 weeks I had no idea that her lungs were not going to be mature, that she would have Group B Strep, low blood pressure, jaundice, and a weak suck/swallow reflex. I took it for granted I would go in, have my baby, and bring her home a few days later. So anyway, I say all that to say I appreciate my kids so much because I get to have them at home. When we brought Zoey home she had colic where she would scream for hours and hours everyday, and I will HONESTLY say, I was so happy to walk around with her and listen to her screams. I was so happy to get up four times every night. I still feel so lucky to get to spend a whole day just holding her because she won't let me put her down without screaming. I would have missed out on all this appreciation had she not been born with all the problems. I would have took everything for granted. So for that I am extremely greatful that I realized how special being a mother to this girl really is. It also makes me realize how blessed we were when our son was born totally healthy. I always took that for granted, but now I see that I need to be doubly thankful for him.
Okay, I'm done rambling now. I was just overwhelmed by my feelings after spending an evening with my friend talking about her beautiful boys that are up in the NICU tonight.
So the last few days have been crazy. I got all better and Zoey got the croup. We had to take her into the ER last night for some steroids. This is like the 5th or 6th time she has gotten croup this winter. It's so frustrating. Then today she gets up with a bloody nose and we couldn't get it to stop. So off to the dr. She's had like 3 today now. Hopefully that is the end of it.
I've been doing Weight Watchers now (for the 10th time!) for the last few weeks with a "friend" on this site. We check in with each other every Saturday. Today I actually started journaling everything that goes in my mouth. I really want to get this weight off once and for all. Especially now that my tubes are tied I won't have the pregnancy excuse ever again!
Zoey has an appointment to get her 1-year-old pictures done. I am hoping that she is feeling better and no more bloody noses!
Today was a very nice relaxing day. I took JD to the dentist. He still has perfect teeth. That's always reassuring. The dentist wants to start seeing Zoey in September. That seems so funny because she only has two teeth right now . Then we took Zoey and got her pictures made. They turned out SO good. We ended up spending way more than we wanted to, but they were just that good. Then we went and bought my friend a baby shower gift for her twin boys that are still in the NICU. All in all it was a nice relaxing day.
Tomorrow though looks WAY busy!!! I am not looking forward to it. Oh well, I'll enjoy tonight and get to tomorrow when it gets here! I am looking forward to a night of My Name Is Earl and The Office. Those are my two favorite shows and I look forward to them every week!
I've been so extremely busy lately! We had Zoey's first birthday party this last weekend. It was a total blast! She just started standing by herself today, won't be too much longer now and she will be walking.
I have been busy trying to get the house and everything in order for my surgery on Wednesday. I am really dreading it. I went and picked up my crutches yesterday from the physical therapist. I am ready for a long journey!
Jon David broke his pinky finger today. He was jumping on the couch in the playroom and fell. (He won't do that again! I swear you tell them once, you tell them a hundred times...some things they just have to learn!) Unfortunately, he broke it along the joint so now we have to go see a hand specialist tomorrow. His pinky was perpindicular to his ring finger...it was so disgusting. Jesse was supposed to be flying but I had him pulled off. Jon David's whole finger was black. Oh it was disgusting!
That's about it for now!