I have been feeling rotten today. I have had a sore throat and now I am down and out tired and feeling barphy.........
I just want to function properly, but between the pain and now feeling like this it is getting hard again. I really hope this is not CF creeping into my life again. My motivation sucks right now. Although I am getting small things done each day. I had to prepare dinner last night as John was running late, I ended up sitting on a desk chair I keep in the kitchen to cook dinner.
I had my follow up u/s today from my NT scan. Once again Mel played coy... I never got a pic and the girl was rough as. I was so upsett over paying yet another 100 to have a ten minute scan to get nothing from it as promised.
For us we had an intresting week away and for the most part it was great.
We hung out around the unit a fair bit, just enjoying spending time together. We did go for a swim, but baby Melbourne was not impressed with the cold water (and I have to say neither was I!). I am now feeling solid kicking out the sides, not every day but most days.
We visited the big pineapple and had some fun feeding the animals, it was like being a big kid all over again. We did not complain though when the nut mobile brooke down at the maccadamia nut shed! Although meny did and walked the rest of the journey. But thoose of us who stayed got feed up on nuts and enjoyed the warm sunshine. I was also in not fit state to walk back!
Speaking of which this brings us to the first hurdle of the week. I spent the rest of the day with my foot up. I knew I had hurt it last week but it did not seem to bad, until we went away. So I rang my physio at home for a recomendation for one up at the coast. I went in tuesday morning, it turns out that when some clown ran through the train the week before standing on my foot and knocking me back into my chair (I had stood to get ready to exit the train.) he squashed a tendon that is close to the surface in your feet. So my recomended therapy:......
Was beach walking (no shoes on) so how tough was that!
Tuesday was spent doing up triva questions and once again hanging about the unit. That was good and well, than Mel though some fun into the mix. When we went to bed I started cramping up heavily! Than I realised my tummy was tightening up (very easy to tell when you have a soft flabby tummy!) This happened every time I moved around in bed and lasted about 2 minuets each. So I ended up just laying still on my back until about 3am!! As some of you know this cuased painic in my mind. And after some encouragement I called the Ob's office. It turned out y OB was on holidays too!! So the nurse recomended that I go to a local Dr an have him check me out.
So I call a local family practice and they have me come in at lunch time. He checks out a urine sample and sends me for an ultrosound. So yep we got another look at our Mel. Every thing checked out perfect. Still have an anterior placenta, hence why I only feel side kicks. I also got to watch Mel kick and was able to feel it at the same time. We were also able to see the face fro the first time. Mel is very shy or was napping seeing I just had lunch and had it's chin in it's chest. Mel's heart rat was measured for the first time since six weeks at 150 bpm.
So back to the Dr and it turns out I have had some braxton hicks contractions. The reason they could have been painful was becuase of ligament streaching as well combined with the fibromyalgia. I really hope this is not a sign of things to come.
The rest of the holiday was good. We went to some hinterland towns the Thursday (our 4th wedding anniversary), we picked up a really beautiful cot quilt from a craft store for a fantastic price. We visted different shops and just enjoyed time together. (whilst eating fantastic food!)
Later that night it got fairly windy so we walked up the road from where we were staying for a beautiful 3 course dinner! The dessert was the topper of it all. It was just fabulous but very chocolate!.
Friday was a bit miserable with rain coming in, but that did not dampen us too much. We did play a lot of uno though! Which was heaps of fun.
We came home saturday, it was looking like a miserable day up there so we choose a great tiem to come home!
I will add picks later on, I just have not uploaded them all just yet.
here are the pics
Get this Koala a beer and a remote! (It is a male)
The quilt we found at a craft shop in a town called Malaney.
Ok I have been discussing with my sister (who is 22 weeks) about having a joint baby shower for some time. We thought it was a great idea, but then neither of us backed on the fact that my sisters best friend and my mother would conspirer to host a surprise baby shower for my sister alone.
My sister found out when the BF's SO spilt the beans whilst over tired and not thinking straight. My sister spoke up and said that she wanted a joint baby shower with me. My mum and her BF HATED the idea at first and I still think my mum still hates the idea.
My sister and I spoke yesterday afternoon about the idea again and that one was being organised by mum, just write a guest list and give it to her. So last night when calling mum on a completely different matter, mum brought up the baby shower. She basicly made me feel bad for wanting a joint baby shower with my sister and that it should be her special day becuase she never had one with my neice and never had a 30th birthday party (by her choice I must say). But also becuase I want to have one at my MIL place (who lives an hour away), for the friends and family up there knowing most would not be comfortable going to my mums, including my MIL.
I feel so pushed to the side. Almost like I am stealing my sisters lime light. But than no one is seeing the fact that my sister is not married, concieved this child through drunken sex, has no intention in staying with the boyfriend, even came close to terminating this pregnancy. She is being celebrated as the wonderful single mum who had another opps child.
Where John and I have been married for 4 years now, and had been trying to convieve this much wanted child for most of that time. We have been through so much with very little support from them. A huge example was asking my mum to come with me for an emergancy u/s and being told no than finding out she has been to most of my sisters scans.
I know I should not feel angry towards my sister, but I am so upset with her and really angry at my mum.
Should I feel upset or are my pregnancy hormones blowing it out of preportion??
I spoke with John last night, I am going to wait a few days more and than sit my mother down and have a chat to her about how I feel. I think she neds to see that she has always left me out and treated me much differently to my sister. I think this is the best way to not get to emotional and say something that is uncalled for and I may regrete. I am very tired of being walked over and treated like a mushroom in the family.
In all this I forgott to mention that I am no longer having progesterone shots for now. I am still using the pesseries, but no more painful shots!! I have my next progesterone level done on Monday next week and go back to my GP on the Wednesday. So if my levels have not dropped off I may be able to continue just using the pesseries. But if they are high enough I may be able to stop the progesterone support altogether.
I have not had the chat with my mum yet, but I have been stewing over it for the last two days. It has just reduced me to tears. I need to sit and write down what are the key points to my issues (just not on here), so that when I do have a chat with her I can make my point clearly with out saying things I do not mean or so anything can be misconstude in anyway.
One of the things I keep going over is maybe I am jealous of my sister, miss popular, and certainly her relationship with my mother. I have to say this one of the things that upsets me the most. On the surface I appear a confident and out there person. The more I think about it the more I think I am just very shy and awkawed and that is why I find relationships tougher than I should.
I have to really work on friend ships and being a good friend, it may be tough but I have to do it. This has been tough to work through this. I have cried more than I want to but it is how it is.
I spoke to him about my general concerns with labour and delivery as well as carring to term.
He has firmly told me he will not induce me before 38 weeks, but if I go into labour from 36 weeks on my own, he will not stop it. Please let me know if this sounds normal.
He also said, after I expressed my fears about being unable to walk with the pressure on my pelvis and tailbone (I am struggling with this already). He has made it clear that it may come down to me being on bed rest in hospital or being in a wheelchair or both.
I am happy with this but scared by this as well. I have also have had a positive response from him about him when discussing the pain reliefe. I think it is becuase I have relented to say that I will have an epi if I am not coping using other methods.
He also was not too worried about the Braxton hicks and told me that it was ok for them to be painfull and long. (2-3minuets)
So on the the details. I am up 6kgs since 8weeks. Bubs heart beat was found on the doopler and is at 146b/m. (we also got a quick look on the u/s machine) Also no sugar or protien in the wee sample. So really it was a great appointment
I have been having good and bad days. My back has been giving me grief. But what can I do. I take the meds I can take when I need them.
I have done some sewing with the help of my MIL over the weekend. We made some curtains and started the quilt (we just have to finish the edges.)
I am starting to dread Mothers day. I know at some point I will have to see and at least get my mother something. But honestly I could not give to hoots about her at the moment. She needs to realise that if she wants me to be a part of her life, she has to take an active role in my life. Right now it is only when it suits her. If I need her at the last moment she ALWAYS refuses to help me. But mostly she refuses to help even when asked in advance. My sister on the other hand is another story.
Hmmm do I see my sister? Am I ment to except her being pregnant as her excuse to be rude and let her get away with that. I am sick to death of being abused. I think Monday night is the topper on the cake. I rang to say that I was not going to be home from the IL's that night as planned, that John was still not back from his camping trip so there was no way of getting back that night. And I got yelled at. I think she needs to realise that I do this as a favour for her, she does not pay me, nor does she supply any food ect for my neice. I got yelled at for asking for my niece to have a dressing gown and a jumper to wear to school. I did not think that it was that much to ask, but apparently I was wrong.
WOW I need to do an update I have been so slack...
Not long after I wrote my last post my sister had it out over her bad behavour! Of course she does not want to fight with me becuas that means she ould lose her free baby sitter... What she thinks I am that nieve.
My School reunion went well, we were able to even raise some money to put back into the school. I have to say I was fat all through high school, so I got heaps of whispers of "Is she really pregnant or just fat?" Man that pissed me off. Becuase honestly I was not even the fattest in the room.
Here are some pics:
John and I manning the door!
The orgainsing committee with the exception of the guy on the end I am the second from the end and yes I am standing and I have heals on
My latest Belly pic.
Now Mothers day....
Where do I start other than I was extremely p!ssed at my husband. George started the day by being a royal pain in the butt. He screamed the house down and John ignored him. At 7am I shoved john in the ribs to get up and attend to him (mind you I have been up a lot earlier to him as well. I got no good morning, no I love you & no happy mothers day We got dressed and were at my mothers by 8am. Gave mum her ugly pj's and card. My mother made no mention of a happy mothers day to me. My sister rocks up at 9:15 so we can finally have breakfast, mind you we have to be gone by 10:45 to be at lunch by 11:30. My neice and my sister gave me a card and a small gift.
Once again John makes no mention to anyone about a Happy Mothers day. We eventually get on the Road to lunch (about 40minuet drive away). We get to lunch and the Il's arrive. All the Happy Mothers day were given to the MIL. Once again NOBODY made a refference to me. I was home in bed again by 2pm. I was by this time in extrem pain in my back! Later that night my sister rings back asking why I did not say goodbye to her... Hello it is a bit obvious when a couple get up and head inside to collect their things that they are going.
No you can see why I dread the holiday called Mothers Day. By Bed time I let John have it. I was sooo angry with him.
Monday was the day I had my Skin tagg removed from my breast. OUCIES it hurt when the anisetic wore off! I then had physio for my back and neck. My physio who is a terrific guy place the machine behind my feet (I am laying on my side), I then moved my foot which turned the strength of it up. I was almost through the roof!! He fixed the problem and then placed the machine behind my thighs. And then gave me a chocolate (mini) bar. Monday was not a great day. I also forgot to have my evening blood test, even though we picked up a pizza for dinner which was next door to the pathology lab .
But all is now sort of back on track, until DH did not call centrelink to report earnings for our pensions. So we wake this am to find that we had not recieved them. It turned out it was centrelinks problem as we had asked to be taken off reporting each fortnight. Grrrr we won't get anything until Monday now!!
Speaking of wacked up goverment departments, I have been getting the royal run around yet again with my transport pre paid card!! The first card I got did not work. I got the royal run around until I went to the local Minister for parliment. I than got it sort of sorted. than the replacement card was sent out as anormal adult card and got lost in the mail. Than they realise I have to go the long way around to get a new one but they would refund the money from the first card. I sent the forms in, they sent it back becuase I did not give credit card details. Fixed the form and resent it back.... I had not recived anything.... I rang, THEY LOST THE FORM with my credit card details on it!! So once again I start the same crap all over again. This problem started in March. It is now Mid May!! Seriously I am p!ssed off over this.
I just thought I would update the pics (some of which have been promised for some time). I had to go and get new batteries for the camera before I could take them.
The clothes I brought at the weekend
The single bed in the babies room full of things I have so far
The take home outfit (choice so far)
The red carrier on the bed came with my pram and nappy bag came with the pram (not shown). The curtains on the window above the bed are made by my MIL and I. The Blue nappy bag (the larger one) was brought at a baby Bizzar for $20 (normaly $70 in the stores).
The Cot, french windows and nappy stacker
The curtains have been made by my MIL and I