Today I did over 11000 steps on my predometer. that worked out to be about 6kms or more of walking. We went to the Anzac parades to watch my neice march in the first one and than watch a family friend march in our towns main march. It was good to do something as a family.
I also found out another family friend had a baby. My recation was a little bit blunt. I never thought I would be that way, but this person is very ignorant and a no it all. She also likes to rub her fertility in our faces despite knowing that we are having a tough time in that area. But than the big cruncher came when I found out she and her husband were going through marraige problems and they had already been through 3 marriage councilors. I was really not surprised to find this out. She is also a perfectionist type woman, they built a house to move into after there wedding, but after baby one it was not big enough (It was only 4 bedrooms, formal lounge, open plan kitchen, dining and family room. plus a double garage. It was huge in comparison to what we lived in.) But she wanted bigger and better. Even though the family moved back into her parents house after selling the house and saving for the new house to be built in the same area. They make me mad when they have to be materialistic and can not be happy to simply have each other.
I think DH and I really have that special friendship that sees us through the tough days. As I have said to my big sister who is very single, that friendship is the most important thing in finding a life long partner. You have to be good friends first and be able to talk about everything and anything. Nothing in our house is TMI.
I have really made the decision to lose weight. But I am struggerling with my increased appitite. I have to find more filling low calorie snacks to keep me going. I am not going to be able to weigh in at the Inlaws so I might try and weigh in at the chemist each week. The one down the street has a big old fashioned one. (The kind you needed to pay for once upon a time.)
On a better note I have a job interview on Monday morning. I am not sure if I am a chance for the job or not, but it is worth the try. If I get the job I will be working in the same place as my father. No one knows that I am a duaghter of another employee, although I have told dad and I did tell the temping agency.
Today I did a stack of walking but I also went and watched my neice play netball. I was very surprised to see her team and her buddie team win their games. I did a lot of running between the taps up at the main buildings and the courts down the far end of the area, taking girls up to fill their drink bottles up. It was a lot of fun. But defiantely wore me out. I guess it makes me happy to at least have my neice who I can be involved with.
Once again I have seen a Dr who wants me to drasticly reduce my weight. They have suggested doing the "Tong Ferguson" weight loss programe. It is a shake diet where you replace two of your main meals with a shake or soup. With the other main meal you have a small amount of protein but 3 cups or more of certain vegetables. You also have to drink two or more leters of water and take extra fiber capsuals.
I really want to give it ago if it works, but it seems teribly expensive. Here is the website www.tonyferguson.com.au
I think we have made the decision to go with weight watchers to help me lose weight. This way I can take what I learn at the meetings and bring them home to help both of us.
We had our follow up appointment last night with our Fertility Care Practiconer. We talked about quiet a few things. he made me feel comfortable about being a little confused about things and gives us lots of reasurance about continuing. He thinks we are doing quiet well. Wendy was right when we confessed we had slipped up. He did not chastise us and was very ok with it. I think that surprised DH alot. He just reminded me about doing the kegeles exercises afterwards. It gave us renewed confidance.
We also put it out there that we are happy to continue with fertility awareness for now, and not directly TTC. Yes we want a baby & no we are not going to prevent having a baby, we are just not going to go to the extremes at the moment to have a baby. We will take each cycle as it comes. If it is a normal length for me or a long cycle only time will tell. It is tough however doing this method when your cycles are very long and unpridictable. I guess I do know one thing, I am much happier not taking any meds that alter my moods. I am now seeing it in myself that I am happier and more friendly again. I think others are seeing it too.
It is a tough day, Mothers Day. I am glad to be spending it at home with DH and Miss Millie, who instinctively knows mummy needs some tlc. She is curled up on my bed, not giving me cuddles or anything like that, but she is close by, which is her way of showing love.
I am ment to be 15 DPP but I am not to keen on testing. Not sure why but if I am pregnant than testing isn't going to change that. Knowing today is not going to change anything. I figure I will see how this next couple of days pan out as I had fertile mucas again yesterday, which puts a spanner in the works. I think I may have to go back to temping, at least this way i know for sure if I am in the 2ww or not. Put simply not knowing for sure & not trusting my body is driving me up the wall!!
I have to say though I either have a bad case of reflux again or I am pregnant. But I am leaning towards the reflux, my life time eveil friend.
I pretty certain I am not pregnant. Yep It is looking like one long anno cycle. I have picked myself up yesterday when I got a call to say I had a day's temping work. It was great. It got me off my butt and back around people who did not know my inner tourment.
I have decided that I am going to the local weight watchers meeting. I am very determained to get this weight off. I know it will bring me closer to having the baby I so dream of.
I have been pretty quiet as to what has been happening with my TTC, quite frankly I didn't know what was next. But I do now.
The biggest problem is that you can't get pregnant if you do not ovulate. So I will be having three special progestrone injections next week. This will be done every other day. This should than bring on AF with in the week. It is a natural progestrone injection which has to be specially made.
I will than have the injection on CD 18 & 21 of my next cycle.
So some time in the next week I will also have an Ultrosound for base line to see if I have any cysts or how many I really have.
Once AF arrives I will have 25mg clomid (yes I know I am back on clomid) CD 3-8. We are hoping that the low dose will keep the horrible side effects at bay and the progestrone injections will help with that as well.
So that is the plan so far. I am looking forward to it. As it should help me have a normal cycle. Oh I also have a host of other things to boost my CM whilst on the clomid. From Robutusim caplsuals to predisone tablets.
Wow this is so much to take in today. But on wards to getting that ever mysterious BFP.
Wow it was a big weekend for DH and I, we sorted through a few issues that I had been holding back with. It still has not sunk in that I ment buisness about it all, but time will tell.
Today I had a job interview for a customer service person in work wear company. It is a small family run company, which is fantastic. Getting to my interview was not with out drama. I had an opthamoligist appointment with a different Dr. He dialated my pupils and than placed a microscope with KY jelly on both eyes. OMG that hurt!! It also made it very hard for me to see, I really should not have driven back home but I needed to get home and dress for my interview. ( DH & both had the same thing done, so we went and had coffee and chilled until I could see long distances again, I just could not see short distances) I did how ever get someone else to drive me to my interview as it was a good 30-40 kms from home. It went well. I will know mid week how it went and it starts Monday so lets hope I get it.
I also had my progestrone injection today which was not too bad. Just a long wait for the Dr who arrived at least 1/2 hour late for surgery (I was the second in to see him grrrr.......)
I than weighed in and as you can see in my ticker I have lost 1.7 kgs or 3.75lbs. So I am very happy with that. I can see that I may have to be very carefull about the clothes I take away with me. But it is really a great thing to be getting healthy and fitter.
Well I survived another Birthday in tact. But only just. It was a rough lead up to my Birthday though. I had m ultrosound on tuesday to check for cysts ect. And they found a nice plump 4cm cyst. They are calling it a complex cyst because they could see very very minor amounts of the ovary. Happy Birthday Jodie. I aslo had shot number 2 of the progestrone injection so I took the scan back when I had that done. The Dr called my Gynie and they both agreed that surgery to remove it was not an option becuase of the scaring risk. I scar in a aweful manner called Keyloid, they are the raised scars that a fiborous looking. They can also be very senstive and red in colour, although my older scars have fadded a lot in color over a period of years. Ok back to the cyst, they are hoping that the progestrone injections will shrink it and they are going to do a follow up ultrosound after AF.
I have had a pretty miserable week so far, the only good thing is I lost another 3.75 lbs again this week. I had my annual on Monday as well, and things went well for that, but I left paper work for the airline that need to filled out by the Dr, I will need a medical clearance form filled out by a Dr so that I can fly any further than the next state. So we have made the appointment for that to be done and me to get my pap results next week. Cutting it fine I know, but it will get done.
The progestrone injections have not worked yet in bring on AF, I had some spotting (which was brown sticky mucas) but it has not followed with any thing. And it was too long after the pap to be spotting from that I am pretty sure as I had nada sign of spotting after it, I think that was wishfull thinking of mine encourage by a GP who said "now you could experience anything from spotting to a light period bleed after this" of course I went, "I could only wish." Little did he realise that I was serious and not being sarcastic. ( I can be very sarcastic when it comes to the misfortunes of my body and it's ability to embarass me at any given moment.) I still have been cramping up pretty bad, but it is hard to tell why. I have had a fair amount on the cyst side but I have also had a tummy bug, which is not liking many foods that I eat.
Speaking of this tummy bug I have had this week, it has cuased me to lose 4 days work!! Not happy JAN!! We could have really used the money for our trip, oh well maybe nest time.