Still have not tested. I just can't bring myself to test. I brought extra tests and all yet I am too scared to see a BFN that I am too scared to POAS. My temps are awesome looking, even compared to being on progestrone last time. So I know it is not just the progestrone that is making them look good. but still it plaques my mind.
On Betternews. My arthritis Dr had some good news. All my inflamitory markers were 5 & below instead of over 50!! It even surprised him. But he wants to see what they are in 3 months before saying that I am in Remission. So this mean that the Plaquinal is working it's magic and getting me back on track with my life.
I am very tired. I have had two extremly late nights in a row, one I got enough sleep to temp, lastnight, no where near enough (we got in a about 3:30am!!) So that will of course mask any signs and symptoms. I am glad to say I have not a drop of spotting, no cramps, and still the yucky taste in my mouth all the time. I have tested, but sadly it was a BFN.
I do have to say I do not like the test that I used, the control line takes forever to come up and I have had invalid results in the past with this brand, but it came free with my OPK's and becuase I was at the inlaws I only took one test with me. Yes they know we are trying and are very supportive when we ask for it, but testing is a little personal and private to me so we do not tell them when the Big testing days are coming up.
It has been a very rough week. I had the tests done on Monday. They were not ready by the time I had my Dr appointment with the Diabeties clinic.
That appointment went well. So here are the new instructions:
* Stay on the Asprin, heprin may not be needed, but will have another blood test.
* I also have to stay on the Metformin, When I get my BFP I have to make an appointment to see the nurse educator and learn how to take my sugar levels and more about controling my diet so that the risk of GD is lowered.
That was monday. Tuesday was HELL! Getting my test results from the Dr's was a night mare. The surgery was having Dr issues and the receptionist was making me feel like it was all my fault. All I wanted was my frigging results. I had appointments to make based on it and I had women all over the world staying up late to see if there was any news yet. So after one final tantrum at lunch time I lost my temper with them. So they put the senior girl on the phone and she tried to tare strips off me, but I was all fired up that I tore strips off her as well. She eventually put the Dr on. He was so rude and harsh that he is lucky i did not tare strips off him as well.
The End result was my beta was less than 2. I was even more derverstated and by this time was bawling my eyes out.
I got all my appointments made and i even got a call about doing a days work at the church we were married in. It was a good day I did not think of any thing overly much. even though I had time too. The minister was really nice, he even cuaght me doing a sedouko. It turned out he is a mathmatican, so it was not all that bad.
than last night my Fertility care Dr called me at home out of the blue to tell me the results. It seemed we had been missing each others phone calls all week. He was so sweet. I told him I already knew the results, but I am still a little confused about why they were negative. than I explain that AF was still missing, I still had the super sore boobs, nausea, ect ect. He told me "Now not to get your hopes up (i think he has his up), if nothing much changes he will retest and order and ultrosound in a week when I see him next." So it means yet again more waiting. But I am ok with that, Like seriously ok with it.
My week has also been sad for other reasons. A guy I bowl with lost his mum on sunday night. She had cancer and went away to our bowling tournament so she could watch him bowl for qld. Than when they got back they found it had spread to her stomach. She went down hill quickly and suddenly. But I honestly beleive she held out just to see her son bowl for the state team for the first time ever. He had tried out that many times and finally made the team. I missed the funeral becuase of work. But I will see them saturday morning.
I tried writting an update last night, but Millie steped on my laptop half way through it grrrrrrr... But I still love the cute possum. Speaking of Millie, she now has a friend & he should be back home very soon. Our second Fur baby is Ron. He is a stray that wondered into our yard. He obviously was very hungry and we feed him. After he kept trying to get into our house we debated about keeping him. It soon became apparent, when he was at our door step every morning and night that he was going to stay.
I tried finding his owner, but no one in the neighbour hodd wanted to own up to him but many said he had be pestering them for food as well. I called the pound, rspca and a couple of shelters. One group offered to have him vacinated and desexed if we would keep him as many of them just simply get put down. So we agreed. Millie is not impressed, but she will get over it, she has no choice but too.
I have had my dose of clomid upped to 50mg CD3-5. So tonight is my last tablet. I will be at a meeting but I am sure I can sneak a bottle of water and a tablet. I am just glad I am not doing injectables at the moment.
I also saw my Gp today who was very impressed with my progress. Including my weightloss, blood pressure and my test results. he is happy to say I am in remission, mainly becuase he sees no reason for my medication to stop working now. I have finally begun to be happy about the medication I am taking and way I am taking it. Now all I have to do is get pregnant. Than I will have both my wishes.
I have now lost 6.6kgs or 14.5 lbs on Weight Watchers. I am feeling great and even got into a suit I have not worn in years this week. So from my heaviest weight back in November 2005 to now I have lost 18 kgs or nearly 40lbs I am very happy with that. I only have about 40kgs to go to get to my goal weight. but I think it is going to requier more than just diet and exercise for that. Even my nana comented on my upper arm size, so I measure it. my left arm is 18&1/2 inches and my right arm is 17 & 1/2 inches around. No wonder I can not get clothes to go over my arms and fit me properly else where. So hopefully when I get closer to my goal weight I can have my upper arms reconstructed and the excess skin and fat be removed. Yes it is all ready hanging very losely.
Other than that the two cats are slowly getting used to each other and getting over their issues. Although Millie is not impressed that she has been kicked out of the bed by George.
I feel bad in not updating this so here goes. The ttc effort has definately been taken up a notch. We are now having follicle monitoring done. I had my first scan yesterday showing 6 follicles on each ovary.
They are measuring as follows.
Left: 6, 6, 7, 8, 9, 15 mm
Right: 6, 7, 8, 10, 10, 16 mm
The Dr and I are both happy about this. I have another to do on Wednesday and friday. (being done every other day. Than probably next week to have the post ovulation scan. Timeing it for a booking is going to be tough, but they are accutally doing very well with these kind of bookings.
I have been feeling a little down over the weekend. It seems that We have been surrounded by children and pregnant women. When we moved here we liked the area as there was a lot of older people living here. This has drasticly changed. Now bothe houses either side of us which were empty are now occupied with families and one of the mother's is pregnant again. I have had to put extra curtains up in the room I now sit in so that I do not have to look at the other family.
I never ever thought that this would be a hard place to be in. But I think I have surprised myself at how upset I got. Even after swearing I would never be this way. I really hope it is a passing phase and the extreme emotions I feel about this do not get the better of me and make me bitter and twisted.
Scan did not go to plan. I have not ovulated, instead I have two cysts on my right ovary. They are so large that you can only see part of the second and no ovarian tissue. To say I am confused and deverstated is an understatement. When I finally got home I saw DH and burst into tears. I picled up my furbaby Millie and took her to our room for cuddles. Dh joined us and cried as well. What I am to do I am not sure. My Dr has not called.