I dream of a baby

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I dream of a baby

Hi all, I am back! I missed having my journal. For some reason this place helps me go through the emotions of infertility, our relationship and the pressures from outside our relationship. So I guess for thoose who do not know I am Jodie, I used to be loveablebubbles81. But things have changed that. So after 2+ years I am forging a new identity.
So a little background, I am 26 this year and DH is 27 this week Smile I suffer from PCOS (with insuline resistance), two types of arthritis including Osteoarthritis of the hips, a clotting disorder as well as a few other problems. Dh is leagally blind and we fear the long term effects of his medication (steriods) may have effected his fertility. Most people with DH sight problems are past there child bearing days so there is no reaserch out there.

So where am I at now:

CD1

I am not sure if I should be happy or sad. I seem to be emotionalless this time around. I think it is becuase I had so much radium exposure this cycle and a good deal of time in hospital. But I do feel sad as this was the last cycle of clomid for a long while. I am now looking into to natral alternatives. But I am strggerling to find the alternatives I need to find. I went to a health food store today only to be pressured into seeing the naturopath. I walked out of the store feeling lost, but I will forge on. I will also look at doing the Napro programe with one of the Gp's at our Dr srgery. We will have to make an afternoon appointment where we can do the course with this Dr. I am not giving up my dream of having a baby, it will happen, when it does it will be the biggest moment of my life so far.

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CD 2

Well I feel a bit up in the air today. I am debating whether I should just take the colmid again this cycle and say nothing to anyone, including DH. This taking the pressure off him and making things much better. But than do I really want to risk the side effects again this cycle. I mean who really wants a never ending headache?? This is the risk v's benifits question.

I think I may ring the surgery and book the appointment to do the napro course.

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CD 5

The witch is still hanging out at my place. Grrrrrr.... But what can I do about it. I am finally letting out the emotion of the last three cycle. It is surprising me how much of it has built up. There is really not much emotional support for us both but each other. The crazy events over the last three weeks has shown what support is genine and what is sympathy.

I know that we have very little spport of my family. It is sad. I never thought I would consider wiping my hands of my family until now. We have considered moving but I am very scared about it. Even thogh we have just broght our first home here it is still very tempting to sell up & move if we both can new jobs in the town we want to move to.

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CD 6

Nothing big to report, although I have learnt the difference between shocking humitity heat and hot flushes.

The other break through is through out the this journey is we have discovered the art of making love again. When ttc you get so focused, weather you realise it or not, on Baby Dancing only. The conservation of the energy and sprem in the first weeks of your cycle and than the big boom and busting. Focusing on making sure that you have sex on the right days, in the right position not getting out of bed straight after sex, elevating the hips but not too much. Keeping the spritis high.

The stress, well really some days are easier to cope with than others. The emotional rollercoaster is now on curise control, still a dip every now and than but things are able to level out more.

I am not sure of what kind of "break" we are having. Are we just giving up on the clomid for now and still actively ttc or are we on a let see where things take us. Not overly trying but certainly not preventing either. This kind of discussion is very hard to get DH to talk about. The only real dicission is that clomid is not an option anymore.

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CD 7

I feel pretty bad today. I planned to sleep in and rest today as I have a pretty full week and this was going to be my rest day. When I woke up I had that familar tonislitis taste in my mouth, I knew today was going to suck. So now I feel like I have a golf ball in my throat. Grrrrr. So I slept alot today.

Still trying to work out a clear plan for the creation of baby X. Just not sure what we want.

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CD 12

I am still unwell, I have a fll blown sinus infection that has cuased post nasal drip down the throat. I have seen the Dr 3 times now and I am on my second lot of antibiotics. It is stinking hot and humid hear at the moment.

Since I last wrote DH & I have talk about what is next. We are at the moment not actively trying and not preventing. So we are not taking a break.

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CD 14

I am still not feeling great, the antibiotics are giving my tummy a run for it's money.

But in better news it seems my body is getting ready to O. Yahoo I have started to get the second line on the OPK's and I have lovely fertile mucus. Now not to tell my loving DH that this event is iminant. That is the biggest chanllange of them all.

On other news my cat is very clingy towards me at the moment. She is where ever I am. Currantly she is napping on the printer (it has a flat top as it is a copier & scanner as well), but if I am in bed it is on the bed if I am alone or on top of Dh's draws (at the foot of the bed). If I go to the bathroom she is there as well it is rather cute. As is her waiting on the window ledge for us to come home. It reminds me of the nursary rhym/song "how much is that dog in the window".

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CD 14 cont.

Mission of sudcing the DH acomplished Smile One clingy cat annoyed at being locked out of the bedroom. At first we left the door open (can't you tell we don't have real children) than after miss M finished her dinner she decided she had to be near her mummy....Grrrrr.. She first jumped on the bed only to find daddy was in it too so she got up on the draws. I was so not in the mood for a cat watching me and she protested loudly when being removed from her perch and the door shut behind her. :roll: :roll: :roll:

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CD 15

Today was a day full of appointments. I had my Gyno appointment first up. Things went fairly well. He thinks that I may not ovulate on my own but is happy for me to be on 1500mg of Metformin. He is also happy for me to do the Napro programe with one of or Gp's and is sending the information behind my Laproscopy that I had last year. He is also still going to monitor my progestrone levels as well. So that was a sccessfull appointment.

We also apply for carers allowance for John to care for me. As my health gets worse it is seemingly a better idea, the more we think about it.

Next was physio, It was good today as my physio with the magic hands worked my whole back. All was good.

Straight up from that was my Rhuemetoligist. And the biggest news from him was that he is putting me back on Plaquinal! Finally something I can take again that is not just pain meds Yahoo
So all in all It was a very prodctive day Smile

Allthough there was not a positive on the opk today.

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CD16

OPK was neagtive today but aleast the test line has gotten darker. So that is good news. I really am hoping that I will ovulate on my own. Which will be a great acheivement.

Other than that I am still fighting the sinus infection. It is making me feel pretty lousy most days but I am fighting off the erge to sleep the days away. something that is very hard for me to do.

I also heard from an employment agency today about a job working one day aweek. So that is really good.

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CD 22

Here I am on Cd 22, I am feeling much better than what I have been in recent times, but soon as I started feeling good again I got the beloved yeast infection/thrush. I am so annoyed by it. But today the tip of the iceburg hit!!

Oh well if Dh gets it, he will just get a good does of canasten along side of me. Smile

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CD27 5 DPO (or 4 SLFM)

First things first. We DTD both Thrsday and friday nights so hopefully we caught that eggy. DH did not seem to get the itches so it is probably safe to say I was over the worst of it. It seems to be gone now on me. I seem to also be having an incrediable flare in my back hips and thighs. It is making me very tired as well, but I am not giving into it.

Last night we had our first session with our new Fertility Care Dr. It was a definately intresting information session. They also chart very differently. So it is going to be hard to get into the swing of it all. I have also been ordered a progestrone level every other day until the end of the cycle, inwhich he is also doing a HCG by the 11 DPO. This is going to be very intresting to see what happens to my progestrone levels over the course of my LP. We also have a cycle of no gential intercourse if I do not fall pregnant. This is so that we/I can get the hang of doing the charting and they can assess my natural cycle much clearer. (like what my mucus really does with out sprem interferring with the readings) I am ok with this as we have been down the road of abstance before. I am sure we can do this much easier now. DH also made the comment that he got a lot of information out of it. We also have a booklet to read. It has some great information about the importance of making love with out having intercourse. It also stresses that not sexaul love should be achieved often and that is can be just as satifactory as having intercourse.

I do have to say this, this method of family planning takes a lot of faith and communication between the husband and wife. It seems definately a marriage building method as it requires love and trust between each other. We both walked out thinking we wish we had started this as part of our pre marital councelling. Instead of the uncomfortable situation we were put in. (We were not told we did not have to do a councelling sessions, but ended up having several of them when we went into to go over and plan our ceronmony.) The minister asked some very personal questions that made both DH & I feel uncomfortable. It was rather shocking to us both and I am a very open minded person.

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CD 30 8DPO or 7DSFM

Getting through the information booklet is tough work. I am going to try and get a copy of it put on to Audio CD so that DH can listen to it as he is finding the book hard to read. In the mean time I will continue to read to him each night before we sleep. I am not a great out lod reader. I think I spent way to long sitting quietly enjoying books. I also get a studder up some times. I think some times it has to do with the mild dislexia I have. Opps there you are I let out one big secret there.

I have slowly been getting the hang of this new way of charting and observing my mucus. And even remembering to do it each time. Althogh the one thing I have to work on is the pre shower check & bedtime routine. I went shopping last night and pt on laybuy and heap of cotton knickers. Most of my older cotton knickers are too big for me now that I have lost 16kgs. I also brought cotton body shapers (gotta love Bonds undies Smile ) As part of the rules is not synthetic knickers and I am not quiet ready to part with my stepping's just yet. (Big secret number 2 out of the bag, I have been wearing them since I was in my late teens.)

I also found my self a really nice Black Dress. But the biggest kick, it is 2 sizes smaller than I would have normally worn and it still I have to have it taken in at the boobs. Not very surprised there, after all I am only a B-C cup and I was shopping in a plus sized store!!

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CD 34 12 DPO (11DPLFM)

Well I know I have not written in here for a few days. But I have been trying not to obess to much, Yeah Right. I have been having blood tests every other day, which has been fine. Today's involved a HCG Beta. So am I getting nervous about the results, of course, I am I letting it control my thoughts, I am certainly trying for it not too. I mean as if looking at my chart a billion times aday is going to change it's otcome. I am going to keep temping until I either get a BFP or AF arrives to annoy the me for easter. I guess I am going to have to stock up on supplies before easter gets here.

Speaking of Easter, we are going to DH parents as per normal. It is Angela's Birthday on good Friday. I will have to just give her a call. I might drop a card into her letter box on Thursday Morning on my way to get the car serviced.

I am missing bowling on a Tuesday Morning but today I went for a walk to have my blood test & get a few things from the shops. I have also done a heap of washing, folding and putting things away. I am on my way to being a better house wife, one day at a time.

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CD4

That is right the witch found me. :cry:

Well we are now on a cycle of abstinace. This is going to be hard but I think we will survive. I am finding it hard that we will not have our 2007 baby, but we will get a baby by 2008 (It goes with family lines of a baby being born every two years). That would make my sister happy at least seeing she started the trend.

Easter was good, DH & I went for a walk every day, I think I have worked it out to be about 10 - 12 km's each day. Plus lots of chasing and playing with Millie in the back yard as well as feeding the chooks. We also went to the local Catholic church for good friday and the easter vigial on saturday night. It felt right to be there. Even though I could not do comunion it was still a good feeling afterwards. We did this as a family and DH & talked about converting me to Catholic. But I am not too sure about it yet.

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CD5 (TMI WARNING)

I seem to have a heat/thrush rash in my groin. Ouchies it hurts. I am hoping now that I am home I can get the right cream up to it and it will start to get better. Well one can hope.

I am now starting to get confsed about the special charting rules for mense at the moment. I am noticing some stretch but I am not too sure about it. I guess the good thing is I have finally stopped passing largish clots. I have been quiet happy about how I have behaved this cycle. I have had no major blow ups, but once again I have notice DH has been cranky and grumpy though. Is it possible that our husbands suffer PMS as well.

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CD 8

Well I think I am finally getting the hang of this new charting. I have been forgetting some of the rules, but I have to start making a better mentle note of them. I was thinking of typing up the rules so that I could put it in the bathroom so that I will remember them all. I am glad though we are doing this.

Ok for my day yesterday, well three interviews in one day!! 2 face to face and 1 phone interview. I really want the last one I interviewed for. And it was a very unexpected interview, but it is excatly what I have been looking for!! It is only a temperary assignment, but that could be fantastic. It would be even better pay. I think I would be able to do the things that I have been missing like having my hair and nails done, buying nice clothes and being able to have dinner out with DH that is not fast food!! We have a couple of favourite restruants that are in our local area now so it would be fantastic to be able to go to dinner again. I also would be able to catch the train to and from work, so that is even a bigger bonus. (we are not far from a trainstation & I beleive parking in that area is very limited) It's even bigger bonus is that it is a department that deals with Disabilities, so I do not think having an employee with a Disability is going to be a big deal to them. So far it has ticks in all the right boxes Smile But I am still waiting for the phone call. So cross fingers.

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Hmmm it has been a few days. I am not even counting my cycle days anymore. I have been so distracted by my week. I have managed to get my self some Temping work. My first assignment is with a goverment department and is full time hours. A bit crazy of me to return to work doing full time hours but these first few won't be too bad as there are some public holidays in the first few weeks. Smile
It is our Wedding anniversary today, it is a bit strange to be going through a period of abstinance even though it is our aniversary. DH is sick anyway and has been home from work for the last two days as he has been feeling unwell, fatiuged and drained. I took him to see Dr Sweetie. He seems to think he has a virus. Oh goodie another bug for me to catch when I least can afford too. Grrr...

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My Temp job only lasted the week. Still not to sure why, so I am back looking for a job. Grrrr...

But we have had a "slip up" so much so for abstaining for a whole cycle. I was so strssed and angry as was DH on Friday night. By the time I went to bed my head was so tensed up I could barely raise my eyebrows. So we started just mucking around and it just did not stop and neither of us wanted it to stop! It was definately magical though. I know I have said it before and I will keep saying it. Making love as aposed to Baby Dancing is much more deeper and profound. I think this method encourages love making as aposed to just having intercourse becuase you are ovulating. I think I would like to start taking a step back and stop trying to force nature. This way we will be happy and if I fall pregnant well it happens, if I don't I will just keep moving on with life. I think this is where I want to be right now. Whilst it is fun to be actively trying it is way too stressful. I like making love and enjoying my husbands company. I hate going I know your not in the mood and neither am I but we have to BD becuase the OPK said so. It definately takes the romance and strong bond out of the bedroom, where it really belongs.

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Well things seem to be looking up again. I am getting used to being at home all day. I am trying really hard not to let things get the better of me.

My exciting news of the week was that I got given a sewing machine. All I have to do is have it serviced. No biggy given that it is a very old machine. It also came with a propper sewing centre cabinate. I have already gone and gotten some fabric and a pattern so that I can start making some skirts and blouses. Hopefully this will help out in a big way. As I have trouble finding clothes to fit, as they are often tight in some areas and too big in others. I will be able to adjust the pattern or even use strechy fabrics in those areas, like sleeves for my BIG arms and elastic wiasts so that my skirts and trouses fit me in the wiast not just over the hips as I have a narrow waist in my back.

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Today I did over 11000 steps on my predometer. that worked out to be about 6kms or more of walking. We went to the Anzac parades to watch my neice march in the first one and than watch a family friend march in our towns main march. It was good to do something as a family.

I also found out another family friend had a baby. My recation was a little bit blunt. I never thought I would be that way, but this person is very ignorant and a no it all. She also likes to rub her fertility in our faces despite knowing that we are having a tough time in that area. But than the big cruncher came when I found out she and her husband were going through marraige problems and they had already been through 3 marriage councilors. I was really not surprised to find this out. She is also a perfectionist type woman, they built a house to move into after there wedding, but after baby one it was not big enough (It was only 4 bedrooms, formal lounge, open plan kitchen, dining and family room. plus a double garage. It was huge in comparison to what we lived in.) But she wanted bigger and better. Even though the family moved back into her parents house after selling the house and saving for the new house to be built in the same area. They make me mad when they have to be materialistic and can not be happy to simply have each other.

I think DH and I really have that special friendship that sees us through the tough days. As I have said to my big sister who is very single, that friendship is the most important thing in finding a life long partner. You have to be good friends first and be able to talk about everything and anything. Nothing in our house is TMI.

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I have really made the decision to lose weight. But I am struggerling with my increased appitite. I have to find more filling low calorie snacks to keep me going. I am not going to be able to weigh in at the Inlaws so I might try and weigh in at the chemist each week. The one down the street has a big old fashioned one. (The kind you needed to pay for once upon a time.)
On a better note I have a job interview on Monday morning. I am not sure if I am a chance for the job or not, but it is worth the try. If I get the job I will be working in the same place as my father. No one knows that I am a duaghter of another employee, although I have told dad and I did tell the temping agency.
Today I did a stack of walking but I also went and watched my neice play netball. I was very surprised to see her team and her buddie team win their games. I did a lot of running between the taps up at the main buildings and the courts down the far end of the area, taking girls up to fill their drink bottles up. It was a lot of fun. But defiantely wore me out. I guess it makes me happy to at least have my neice who I can be involved with.

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Once again I have seen a Dr who wants me to drasticly reduce my weight. They have suggested doing the "Tong Ferguson" weight loss programe. It is a shake diet where you replace two of your main meals with a shake or soup. With the other main meal you have a small amount of protein but 3 cups or more of certain vegetables. You also have to drink two or more leters of water and take extra fiber capsuals.

I really want to give it ago if it works, but it seems teribly expensive. Here is the website www.tonyferguson.com.au

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I think we have made the decision to go with weight watchers to help me lose weight. This way I can take what I learn at the meetings and bring them home to help both of us.

We had our follow up appointment last night with our Fertility Care Practiconer. We talked about quiet a few things. he made me feel comfortable about being a little confused about things and gives us lots of reasurance about continuing. He thinks we are doing quiet well. Wendy was right when we confessed we had slipped up. He did not chastise us and was very ok with it. I think that surprised DH alot. He just reminded me about doing the kegeles exercises afterwards. It gave us renewed confidance.

We also put it out there that we are happy to continue with fertility awareness for now, and not directly TTC. Yes we want a baby & no we are not going to prevent having a baby, we are just not going to go to the extremes at the moment to have a baby. We will take each cycle as it comes. If it is a normal length for me or a long cycle only time will tell. It is tough however doing this method when your cycles are very long and unpridictable. I guess I do know one thing, I am much happier not taking any meds that alter my moods. I am now seeing it in myself that I am happier and more friendly again. I think others are seeing it too.

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It is a tough day, Mothers Day. I am glad to be spending it at home with DH and Miss Millie, who instinctively knows mummy needs some tlc. She is curled up on my bed, not giving me cuddles or anything like that, but she is close by, which is her way of showing love.

I am ment to be 15 DPP but I am not to keen on testing. Not sure why but if I am pregnant than testing isn't going to change that. Knowing today is not going to change anything. I figure I will see how this next couple of days pan out as I had fertile mucas again yesterday, which puts a spanner in the works. I think I may have to go back to temping, at least this way i know for sure if I am in the 2ww or not. Put simply not knowing for sure & not trusting my body is driving me up the wall!!
I have to say though I either have a bad case of reflux again or I am pregnant. But I am leaning towards the reflux, my life time eveil friend.

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I pretty certain I am not pregnant. Yep It is looking like one long anno cycle. I have picked myself up yesterday when I got a call to say I had a day's temping work. It was great. It got me off my butt and back around people who did not know my inner tourment.

I have decided that I am going to the local weight watchers meeting. I am very determained to get this weight off. I know it will bring me closer to having the baby I so dream of.

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Hi all,

I have been pretty quiet as to what has been happening with my TTC, quite frankly I didn't know what was next. But I do now.

The biggest problem is that you can't get pregnant if you do not ovulate. So I will be having three special progestrone injections next week. This will be done every other day. This should than bring on AF with in the week. It is a natural progestrone injection which has to be specially made.
I will than have the injection on CD 18 & 21 of my next cycle.

So some time in the next week I will also have an Ultrosound for base line to see if I have any cysts or how many I really have.

Once AF arrives I will have 25mg clomid (yes I know I am back on clomid) CD 3-8. We are hoping that the low dose will keep the horrible side effects at bay and the progestrone injections will help with that as well.

So that is the plan so far. I am looking forward to it. As it should help me have a normal cycle. Oh I also have a host of other things to boost my CM whilst on the clomid. From Robutusim caplsuals to predisone tablets.

Wow this is so much to take in today. But on wards to getting that ever mysterious BFP.

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Wow it was a big weekend for DH and I, we sorted through a few issues that I had been holding back with. It still has not sunk in that I ment buisness about it all, but time will tell.

Today I had a job interview for a customer service person in work wear company. It is a small family run company, which is fantastic. Getting to my interview was not with out drama. I had an opthamoligist appointment with a different Dr. He dialated my pupils and than placed a microscope with KY jelly on both eyes. OMG that hurt!! It also made it very hard for me to see, I really should not have driven back home but I needed to get home and dress for my interview. ( DH & both had the same thing done, so we went and had coffee and chilled until I could see long distances again, I just could not see short distances) I did how ever get someone else to drive me to my interview as it was a good 30-40 kms from home. It went well. I will know mid week how it went and it starts Monday so lets hope I get it.

I also had my progestrone injection today which was not too bad. Just a long wait for the Dr who arrived at least 1/2 hour late for surgery (I was the second in to see him grrrr.......)

I than weighed in and as you can see in my ticker I have lost 1.7 kgs or 3.75lbs. So I am very happy with that. I can see that I may have to be very carefull about the clothes I take away with me. But it is really a great thing to be getting healthy and fitter.

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Well I survived another Birthday in tact. But only just. It was a rough lead up to my Birthday though. I had m ultrosound on tuesday to check for cysts ect. And they found a nice plump 4cm cyst. They are calling it a complex cyst because they could see very very minor amounts of the ovary. :cry: Happy Birthday Jodie. I aslo had shot number 2 of the progestrone injection so I took the scan back when I had that done. The Dr called my Gynie and they both agreed that surgery to remove it was not an option becuase of the scaring risk. I scar in a aweful manner called Keyloid, they are the raised scars that a fiborous looking. They can also be very senstive and red in colour, although my older scars have fadded a lot in color over a period of years. Ok back to the cyst, they are hoping that the progestrone injections will shrink it and they are going to do a follow up ultrosound after AF.

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I have had a pretty miserable week so far, the only good thing is I lost another 3.75 lbs again this week. I had my annual on Monday as well, and things went well for that, but I left paper work for the airline that need to filled out by the Dr, I will need a medical clearance form filled out by a Dr so that I can fly any further than the next state. So we have made the appointment for that to be done and me to get my pap results next week. Cutting it fine I know, but it will get done.
The progestrone injections have not worked yet in bring on AF, I had some spotting (which was brown sticky mucas) but it has not followed with any thing. And it was too long after the pap to be spotting from that I am pretty sure as I had nada sign of spotting after it, I think that was wishfull thinking of mine encourage by a GP who said "now you could experience anything from spotting to a light period bleed after this" of course I went, "I could only wish." Little did he realise that I was serious and not being sarcastic. ( I can be very sarcastic when it comes to the misfortunes of my body and it's ability to embarass me at any given moment.) I still have been cramping up pretty bad, but it is hard to tell why. I have had a fair amount on the cyst side but I have also had a tummy bug, which is not liking many foods that I eat. Sad
Speaking of this tummy bug I have had this week, it has cuased me to lose 4 days work!! Not happy JAN!! We could have really used the money for our trip, oh well maybe nest time.

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AF arrived today, I am very happy about that. Yes I know an odd thing for some one ttc to say, but long cycles are not very productive when you are ttc. But my better news is I lost 2.1 kgs (4.6lbs) at WW this week. This is dispite AF, progestrone injections and B'day dinners. I am very happy with the results. Ok I may have sick the last 48hrs but you know what can I do about that.

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Joined: 02/20/07
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I had my scan on Friday, my cyst was gone and it looks like my left side is going to be dominate this cycle as the folicels were preparing already. Which hopefully means a nice short cycle. I am doing clomid again this cycle, but with a twist. I am doing only 25mg for three days not the standard 5. I have a huge plan this cycle so I am hoping that it will work. I am also taking Vit B6, drinking green tea, and taking Rhobatusium during peak time to boost my CM.
But the horror of the week is that I still have a tummy bug, just now the imodium worked too well. Always the way. I just hope that I can get my body to behave before weigh in. Murphys Law is visiting me again.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

Very surprised today. I have morphed in to a super cow. Not very happy of that. I am hoping this new attituted problem will pass quickly.

Other great news, I am now down to 238lbs. That is down over 12lbs since the POBLC started. I am very happy with that.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

One hour until I get my test results. I have pap results as well as bowl tests that I am awaiting on. I really want to go back to eating normally again. I know the weight loss is good, but I have no energy which is not good. I think I may do some carbo loading this week for the weekend. I am definately looking forward to the trip.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

Oh I feel very bad for not updating before now. All mytests came back normal. It took a week more for my stomach to come back to normal, but I still have a lot of gas. The burping is getting out of control at the moment. I am hoping that it is a 2WW thing.
I have ovulated very early this cycle. Not sure if it a fluke or not, but I will take it. We did BD like bunnies when possible whilst we were away. The first few night it was easy, the second half not so easy as we were staying with the inlaws in single beds :shock: We did have a great time though. There was lots of wine consumed and food. The food was so plentiful. It was alittle too much at times.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I forgot to mention that when I arrived home I slipped getting out of the airport express bus. I was hanging on to the HCB and lost my footing. What makes me mad, throught the whole 45-60minuet journey we were talking about our bowling trip away (national DISABILITY championships.) Instead of when we pulled up helping us out first, he went around the back and started getting our bags out :evil: When I found out how much damage has been done, I will call the company and speak with the owner. I do know at minimum I have a pectrol strain (right side & I am right handed), I have to get a scan tomorrow to see what damage has been done.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

Thankfully it seems to be just a sprain, with no visable tears. (that has come from the u/s tech who did the scan.) The smartmouthed Dr who I really do not like much wrote a smart arsed referal to match. :evil:

On a brighter note I am 9DPO and my main syptom is a sore breats and needing to pee all the time.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

10DPO and I am so so tired today. I have slept alot today, possibly too much, but I am still really tired. I have also been feeling very nauseated. Which is not that uncommon for me in the 2ww but it is still a great symptom. Who knows, I am currently debating when to test. I know I should not test until sunday, but do I really want to be testing at the inlaws place. We are going up there over the weekend and won't be back to early next week. I also will be seeing my specialists this week as well as my Fertility care Dr (twice) could be an intresting 24hrs. I think if I test early it will not be until at least 12DPO.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

11 DPO I am still fairly tired and flacky. I had my non eventfull Gyno appointment this afternoon. He is now passing all of my Care over to my Fertility Care Dr until I am pregnant only seeing me every 3 months. I had my third progestrone injection with my FCP.
My new symptom, one I have not had in a very very long time, a highten sense of smell. Now this has to be a good sign. Now to all my stalkers, I have brought more tests. Not sure when I am going to start testing but it will be in the next few days. I tried getting a blood test organised and my FCP does not do them until 17DPP.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

when I test is now up for a vote. I have included a test day poll in my chart so click stalk my chart in my signature and have your say.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

Still have not tested. I just can't bring myself to test. I brought extra tests and all yet I am too scared to see a BFN that I am too scared to POAS. My temps are awesome looking, even compared to being on progestrone last time. So I know it is not just the progestrone that is making them look good. but still it plaques my mind.

On Betternews. My arthritis Dr had some good news. All my inflamitory markers were 5 & below instead of over 50!! It even surprised him. But he wants to see what they are in 3 months before saying that I am in Remission. So this mean that the Plaquinal is working it's magic and getting me back on track with my life.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I am very tired. I have had two extremly late nights in a row, one I got enough sleep to temp, lastnight, no where near enough (we got in a about 3:30am!!) So that will of course mask any signs and symptoms. I am glad to say I have not a drop of spotting, no cramps, and still the yucky taste in my mouth all the time. I have tested, but sadly it was a BFN.

I do have to say I do not like the test that I used, the control line takes forever to come up and I have had invalid results in the past with this brand, but it came free with my OPK's and becuase I was at the inlaws I only took one test with me. Yes they know we are trying and are very supportive when we ask for it, but testing is a little personal and private to me so we do not tell them when the Big testing days are coming up.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

It has been a very rough week. I had the tests done on Monday. They were not ready by the time I had my Dr appointment with the Diabeties clinic.
That appointment went well. So here are the new instructions:

* Stay on the Asprin, heprin may not be needed, but will have another blood test.
* I also have to stay on the Metformin, When I get my BFP I have to make an appointment to see the nurse educator and learn how to take my sugar levels and more about controling my diet so that the risk of GD is lowered.

That was monday. Tuesday was HELL! Getting my test results from the Dr's was a night mare. The surgery was having Dr issues and the receptionist was making me feel like it was all my fault. All I wanted was my frigging results. I had appointments to make based on it and I had women all over the world staying up late to see if there was any news yet. So after one final tantrum at lunch time I lost my temper with them. So they put the senior girl on the phone and she tried to tare strips off me, but I was all fired up that I tore strips off her as well. She eventually put the Dr on. He was so rude and harsh that he is lucky i did not tare strips off him as well.
The End result was my beta was less than 2. I was even more derverstated and by this time was bawling my eyes out.
I got all my appointments made and i even got a call about doing a days work at the church we were married in. It was a good day I did not think of any thing overly much. even though I had time too. The minister was really nice, he even cuaght me doing a sedouko. It turned out he is a mathmatican, so it was not all that bad.
than last night my Fertility care Dr called me at home out of the blue to tell me the results. It seemed we had been missing each others phone calls all week. He was so sweet. I told him I already knew the results, but I am still a little confused about why they were negative. than I explain that AF was still missing, I still had the super sore boobs, nausea, ect ect. He told me "Now not to get your hopes up (i think he has his up), if nothing much changes he will retest and order and ultrosound in a week when I see him next." So it means yet again more waiting. But I am ok with that, Like seriously ok with it.

My week has also been sad for other reasons. A guy I bowl with lost his mum on sunday night. She had cancer and went away to our bowling tournament so she could watch him bowl for qld. Than when they got back they found it had spread to her stomach. She went down hill quickly and suddenly. But I honestly beleive she held out just to see her son bowl for the state team for the first time ever. He had tried out that many times and finally made the team. I missed the funeral becuase of work. But I will see them saturday morning.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

:cry: AF arrived today & she is kicking my butt with pain and nausea. My boobs are also very sore still :cry:

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I tried writting an update last night, but Millie steped on my laptop half way through it grrrrrrr... But I still love the cute possum. Speaking of Millie, she now has a friend & he should be back home very soon. Our second Fur baby is Ron. He is a stray that wondered into our yard. He obviously was very hungry and we feed him. After he kept trying to get into our house we debated about keeping him. It soon became apparent, when he was at our door step every morning and night that he was going to stay.
I tried finding his owner, but no one in the neighbour hodd wanted to own up to him but many said he had be pestering them for food as well. I called the pound, rspca and a couple of shelters. One group offered to have him vacinated and desexed if we would keep him as many of them just simply get put down. So we agreed. Millie is not impressed, but she will get over it, she has no choice but too.

I have had my dose of clomid upped to 50mg CD3-5. So tonight is my last tablet. I will be at a meeting but I am sure I can sneak a bottle of water and a tablet. I am just glad I am not doing injectables at the moment.

I also saw my Gp today who was very impressed with my progress. Including my weightloss, blood pressure and my test results. he is happy to say I am in remission, mainly becuase he sees no reason for my medication to stop working now. I have finally begun to be happy about the medication I am taking and way I am taking it. Now all I have to do is get pregnant. Than I will have both my wishes.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I have now lost 6.6kgs or 14.5 lbs on Weight Watchers. I am feeling great and even got into a suit I have not worn in years this week. So from my heaviest weight back in November 2005 to now I have lost 18 kgs or nearly 40lbs :shock: I am very happy with that. I only have about 40kgs to go to get to my goal weight. but I think it is going to requier more than just diet and exercise for that. Even my nana comented on my upper arm size, so I measure it. my left arm is 18&1/2 inches and my right arm is 17 & 1/2 inches around. No wonder I can not get clothes to go over my arms and fit me properly else where. So hopefully when I get closer to my goal weight I can have my upper arms reconstructed and the excess skin and fat be removed. Yes it is all ready hanging very losely.

Other than that the two cats are slowly getting used to each other and getting over their issues. Although Millie is not impressed that she has been kicked out of the bed by George.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I feel bad in not updating this so here goes. The ttc effort has definately been taken up a notch. We are now having follicle monitoring done. I had my first scan yesterday showing 6 follicles on each ovary.
They are measuring as follows.
Left: 6, 6, 7, 8, 9, 15 mm
Right: 6, 7, 8, 10, 10, 16 mm

The Dr and I are both happy about this. I have another to do on Wednesday and friday. (being done every other day. Than probably next week to have the post ovulation scan. Timeing it for a booking is going to be tough, but they are accutally doing very well with these kind of bookings.

I have been feeling a little down over the weekend. It seems that We have been surrounded by children and pregnant women. When we moved here we liked the area as there was a lot of older people living here. This has drasticly changed. Now bothe houses either side of us which were empty are now occupied with families and one of the mother's is pregnant again. I have had to put extra curtains up in the room I now sit in so that I do not have to look at the other family.

I never ever thought that this would be a hard place to be in. But I think I have surprised myself at how upset I got. Even after swearing I would never be this way. I really hope it is a passing phase and the extreme emotions I feel about this do not get the better of me and make me bitter and twisted.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I had a thrid scan today. things have progressed well. It looks like I have two mature eggs.

Here is a pic of one:

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

I am not sure if the lucky egg dropped or not, I am having another scan today. But I think that my thermo needs a new battery or it has cysted. Man why can't this be easy.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

Scan did not go to plan. I have not ovulated, instead I have two cysts on my right ovary. They are so large that you can only see part of the second and no ovarian tissue. To say I am confused and deverstated is an understatement. When I finally got home I saw DH and burst into tears. I picled up my furbaby Millie and took her to our room for cuddles. Dh joined us and cried as well. What I am to do I am not sure. My Dr has not called.

chloesgirl's picture
Joined: 02/20/07
Posts: 798

The latest news is that the cysts have grown they are over 40mm now. I had a 200mg progesterone injection last night and will continue to use the pesseries. I had a large amount of pain last night with swelling. I have also told the Dr that I wish to have surgery to repair my ovaries. This in it's self is a huge decision that DH and I made to prevent the future pain and misery of having cysts form and no pregnancy.

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