Thread: I need a drink!

You're gonna have to face it, your addicted to love....I heard that song this morning and it stuck in my head. DAMN Robert Palmer.

Had a decent night last night. Micky worked so it was just the kids and I. We ordered Papa Johns and watched TV. I was in bed at 8:15 and was out like a light. I really needed that with my allergies kicking my ***.

I'm going to meet my mom and have lunch with her in a bit. I miss my mom sometimes. She used to be my best friend. Then when she married Michael, everything went to hell. *sigh* I wonder who's marriage will last the longest?

Man, I am not used to this. I like the old style better. Oh well. I'll get used to it I guess.

I had lunch with N last week, we had a great time and talked alot about everything that has gone on with us. She has forgiven me and I have forgiven her, she did some shady things to me as well.

I saw Tree last night. DAMN IT! Why do I continue to do this? I am really hating myself right now. and I have no motivation to journal.

Love to all....

I am taking Jacob tonight to see Thomas in Salisbury. I haven't told him yet....it's going to be a surprise. Lexi is going with Micky to his play off games in Ocean City.

I just got lunch and had chinese. It was what I wanted at the time but not anymore. I got chicken wings and shrimp fried rice. I didn't even eat half. Oh well. Maybe later or tomorrow.

I am so ready to go home. It's bad enough I am going to have to rush when I leave work to make it on time for Thomas. This job is really starting to drain me of whatever I have left in me. I'll just have to suck it up. The money is really good.

Thomas was great! It was like a musical and the kids (I ended up taking Lexi too) had a blast. It was really expensive but worth it. 3 tickets were $54.00 something 2 Thomas light sticks were $24.00 3 popcorns and a soda were $11.00. Oh well. We left a little early to beat the traffic out of there and we had a 45 minute ride home. Plus it was raining. Surprise Surprise!

I didn't talk to Tree at all yesterday except for a few text messages and I haven't talked to him at all today. I am going to try really hard and not call him and not answer any of his texts or calls. I can do this, I know I can. *sigh*

Micky was in a BAD mood yesterday. Someone must have pissed in his Cherrios. Damn, I hate it when he is like that. He is in a good mood today but he is at work with his *girls* Whatever. He has 3 other partners today and they are all girls. He is in his glory. Figures he can't be in a good mood at home but he can be at work. Makes sense.

It's been almost 48 hours since I have last talked to Tree. I hope I can do this. I just need to have some Faith in myself. I CAN do this! I don't want to beat myself over it either. One step at a time.

I haven't had any contact with Tree since the 21st and I don't feel bothered by it. I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Let's hope I can keep it up!

Micky and I got into a HUGE fight first thing this morning. What a way to start the day. It got the kids upset as Micky wanted to fight right in front of them and he wouldn't let me move from where I was standing. He is lucky I didn't call the cops on his sorry ***. Trying to be some big tough guy, WTF ever.

Still haven't talked to Tree........

So much is going on, so little time to write it all out. M apologized so we are normal again I guess.

I miss him......I miss him so much it hurts......but I know this is for the best.

I'm around. I am a mess. This whole depression thing is for the birds. I have no motivation to do anything. Just getting out of bed every morning is a hassle. It takes me forever at work to get anything done. I just wish I could snap out of it and be normal again, for myself and for my family. They don't deserve this. *sigh*