Had my 26th birthday yesterday. For once it didn't rain, but I had 2 wisdom teeth taken out so it wasn't the best b-day ever. Got some nice gifts though.
My garden looks like crap. All the flowers that I planted a couple weeks ago have started to die. This is why I don't plant. *sigh* Oh well.
I want to take a nap but I have to take Lex to dance in 2 hours.
damn, how come I can't post pics anymore? WTF?
I had the BEST day yesterday. I got a few gift certificates for Lowe's for my birthday and spent almost $100 on stuff for the garden and front yard. It looks SO good now. I am loving it. I was outside till 10:30 last night just playing around and moving things around. I am gonna try to post some pics if I can ever figure it out again.
Mothers Day was ok, I spent most of it at the ER. I got a dry socket in one of spaces where my teeth were pulled.
Micky and I are fighting again. I hate to say it but I think it is inevitable, the end is near. *sigh*
We went to North Carolina this past weekend and had a good time. When we go down again in August though, we are keeping the kids home. We need a weekend alone.
Micky and I have been getting along a little better. It's still not right but better. I know I brought a lot of it on myself but quit throwing it in my face. In a way I wish I could just end it but then I look at my kids and they would be devestated. *sigh*
I'm going to lunch tomorrow with Nikki. We had a HUGE falling out on St. Patty's Day and we haven't seen each since. My best friend. I hope that we can patch things up. I can't even get into why we got into the fight but it was some fucked up shit. I mean FUCKED up! I miss her like crazy though.
Well, off to Monster.com to get my resume out.
my marriage is in shambles....*sigh*
"A Different World"
We were born to mothers who smoked and drank
Our cribs were covered in lead based paint
No child proof lids no seat belts in cars
Rode bikes with no helmets and still here we are, still here we are
We got daddy's belt when we misbehaved
Had three TV channels you got up to change
No video games and no satellite
All we had were friends and they were outside, playin' outside
It was a different life
When we were boys and girls
Not just a different time
It was a different world
School always started the same every day
The pledge of allegiance then someone would pray
Not every kid made the team when they tried
We got disappointed and that was all right, we turned out all right
No bottled water, we drank from a garden hose
And every Sunday, all the stores were closed
It was a different world
Ahuh Ahuh (Yea Rihanna)
Ahuh Ahuh (Good girl gone bad)
Ahuh Ahuh (Take three... Action)
No clouds in my storms
Let it rain, I hydroplane in the bank
Coming down with the Dow Jones
When the clouds come we gone, we Rocafella
We fly higher than weather
And G5’s are better, You know me,
an anticipation, for precipitation. Stacked chips for the rainy day
Jay, Rain Man is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna where you at?
You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
May be in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)
These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart
You can run into my arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
Come here to me
There's no distance in between our love
So go on and let the rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Ooh baby it's raining
Baby come here to me
Come here to me
Oh baby it's raining
Isn't my baby cute?
Lexi and Princess!
She LOVES her diaper wipes boxes!
Started another job. This one is a great one but I only get paid once a month. WTF is that? Oh well.
Micky started another full time job so that will be another 40k a year. It just sucks that he will be gone every other day for 24 hours but this will help us tremendously. He starts Tuesday doing that. Back and forth between Millville and Mid-Sussex. He said I WILL have my boob job done by X-Mas. What a great present! YAY!
I am still battling MAJOR depression and my insurance company is fighting me on what scripts they will cover. I NEED these meds and the Celexa and Abilify are not doing shit. Thank God I have the Trazadone to sleep at night. It is so bad.....so bad.
Still not sure about our marriage at this point. We have good and and bad days, today is a good one.
(((hugs))) girl. hang in there, this is just a rough patch in YOUR life. You'll make it through. Those damn insurance companies too, i can't believe they won't cover some of your meds. Have you tried going to two different drs. and geting scripts for each med and a letter stating that they are necessary to your daily well being? I know thats what my mother in law did to get the ball rolling with her insurance company. How are Lexi and Jacob? I bet they are just beautiful handfuls nowadays. I know Emma is. Glad to hear about the new boobies, they will defintley help to lift you up, once you feel awesome about yourself. Just worry about you and the kiddo's, make it crystal clear to mickey, you are going to do whats best for you. If he wants to come along for the ride, and help- thats wonderful. If not, Take some time to yourself and then find your prince charming. (((hugs))) its so weird, i was coming here to check your profile and see when your last post was, and you had updated. We're on the same page girl.
AAAWWW Jamie! You are too sweet! I miss chatting with you.
Yes, Lex and Jake are doing great. They start a new daycare Monday, I am excited about it, not sure how they are going to feel though. This one is great and $50.00 a week cheaper.
I have a half hour left here at work and off to home I go. I need to go pick up a paycheck, go to the bank and to the Verizon store and pick up my new phone.
Micky goes to work at 7 so I guess the kids and I will got to McD's and then to the park. That should be fun for them.
I need to learn to keep up on here, I am 65 pages and counting. I just have no motivation to do so when I get home and the kids are in bed. I usually take my medicine and go to bed after them when he is gone.
Have a good weekend everyone!
Sorry I have been so bad about keeping in touch, we have no internet at home and I barely get a free moment at work. I will try to text you tonight or tomorrow. I have been thinking about you alot late;y and wondering how things are. Miss you, love you, mean it!!!!!
Hey Kelly! I have been meaning to call you but don't I say that everytime? How have you been? Work going ok? Kids?
I fall to pieces.....how can I be just your friend....... *sigh* my life sucks.
I heart Vicodin....but the pain in my neck sucks. I guess I need that cortozone shot. PT isn't working either. Oh well.
I've had a good couple of days I guess. Better than most.
Micky came in last night from the neighbors about 3 sheets to the wind so he should be pretty hungover this morning. I haven't talked to him since I left for work at 7:30.
The kids are doing great in their new daycare. The set-up is amazing. They love it too!
Lexi had me laughing last night, we were driving to my mom's and we past this really old trailer, I mean REALLY old. She spots it and her exact words were, "Man that is an old house. Oh Lord God, it's missing some wheels." LMAO! You had to be there but it was so cute coming from her. She doesn't miss a thing.
Jacob is Jacob, the sweetest boy in the world. You just want to eat him up.
Spider Pig! Spider Pig! Doing whatever a Spider Pig does...... I love Homer Simpson!
You are a great friend Kelly! You mean a lot to me. I wish we lived closer.
Jacob was a miserable cuss this morning. Not sure what his issue was but damn, he was not in a good mood. He did poop in the potty twice though. :woohoo:
They are growing up way too fast. I remember coming to this site when I was pregnant with Lexi and that was in 2002. She will be 5 in Feb. Holy Hell! Jake will be 3 in Sept.
I am ready to go the hell home and it's only 10:35am.
Off to email Kelly back....hahaha!
Congrats on the house Cindy! That is very exciting!
I had my hair cut yesterday, eyebrows waxed and even gave myself and manicure and pedicure. Feeling like a sexy mama for the moment. I got about 8 inches of hair cut off. My head feels so much better.
I am getting ready to get Lexi's cut and donate it to Locks of Love. Her hair is almost to the middle of her back but she won't let me do anything with it so it's getting chopped.
Jacob has had a couple rough days in daycare. Not sure what his issue is. He cries all day for me. The only time he is fine is when he gets to play with his sister which is only for a little bit in the morning and late in the afternoon. They get along great at daycare but at home, they fight like cats and dogs. WTF?
Micky started his other job last Saturday. We are adjusting ok I guess. Jacob thinks he lives at the firehouse. That bothers me a bit but he just doesn't understand. Not many people have there husbands gone for 24 hours every other day. The money is great though. We are buying Jacob a 4 wheeler for his birthday and we can pay it in full next week. :woohoo:
There are a lot of trust issues that are going on with this new situation and I know I brought it all on myself but he told me if I am good, I can get that new set of boobs that I want. haha! I'm being real good. I have cut all ties. I'm not going into more details but we have been real rocky since March.
Well, getting ready to go home. I have to go to Salisbury and buy a baby shower gift and a birthday gift for my nephew. He will be 3 on Monday.
Love to all!
What a crazy week! I've been bombarded at work and really don't have time to do this but I needed a little break.
The kids are doing great but bothering the shit out of each other.
Jake is getting better in daycare although he did cry this morning and I felt bad, as usual. I can't believe he will be 3 next month. Ugh!
I'm going to see Bucky Covington at the Bottle and Cork this Sunday, I am super excited for a night out with the girls. I love his new song!
Micky is liking his new job but the kids are suffering from it. It's like they never see him and that bothers the shit out me. I think after awhile they will adjust but they just don't understand. They think that he lives at the firehouse and not at our house.
We sold the other rental property that we had and got back quite a bit more than what we thought we would so we are sitting pretty comfortable now. Thank God that sale went through when it did.
I still have NO motivation to do anything. My psychiatrist doesn't take our insurance anymore and I can't find another one in the area that does take Conventry. WTF? I need my meds changed before I go crazy again. I am NOT going to put my kids and husband through that again.
Kelly ~ We need to start planning our Baltimore getaway for next year so we can put tickers in! That is all I have talked about to Micky, I think he is sick of hearing about it but he is all for it! There are some good hotels in the areas. Nice ones too that are not that expensive. Not sure if you want to spend the money to stay at the Marriott or not. I love it there but it can be a bit pricey! And the rooms book fast during the times that the O's are playing the Yanks.
I guess that is all for today. Back to the grind.
OMG! I got a f*&)@g speeding ticket last night. I am not going to say how fast I was going but he knocked it down to 64 in a 55! What a crock of shit! So I got fined $50.25. EEEEERRRRRR! :evil:
Got our Nascar tickets in the mail yesterday for next Sunday's race. WOOPIE! I can't wait! Race week again.
I've got so much to report it isn't even funny but I can't remember it all right now. I will post things as I remember I guess!
I'm back. Got 20 minutes left. My boss is about to have a coronary. Did I spell that right? Oh well. He's Italian and VERY uptight. He needs a Valium, maybe I will slip one of mine in his drink tomorrow morning. HAHA! They don't do shit for me, they might work for him. Thank God he is only in for a few hours tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, it's CASUAL DAY! YAYAYAYAYAYAY! Bring on the capri's, flip flops and T-Shirt. I'm gonna be comfy as hell.
Have a good night everyone!
I've been on hold with GMAC for 26 minutes and 24 seconds and counting without ever talking with someone. I am getting SERIOUSLY pissed off! WTF is up with that?
Just did a new GEICO policy, for both of our vehicles is only $1050.00 for 6 months. Woohoo! I just paid the whole thing so we wouldn't have to worry about it.
Lexi is spending the weekend at Mom-Mom's. She is super excited. I am dropping her off after daycare. I guess tonight we will take Jacob and do something special with him. Maybe to the boardwalk in OC. He should like that. Ride a dew ride, get some Thrashers fries, play a few games, etc. I might be able to convince Micky to go into Ripley's Believe It or Not. I haven't been in there in a few years. I LOVE it. I bet Jake would too.
Call me crazy but I have baby fever......that is the LAST thing that I could possibly need right now. Everywhere I go though, there are preggo's. UGH! Enough already. Hopefully this shall pass. I really don't need another reason to end what little bit of sanity I have left and that isn't much at all.
I pray that today goes by fast. I am working this weekend at my friends pet store to help out. It's an extra $100.00. Can't possibly complain about that.
1 hour, 26 minutes and 40 seconds.........What a crock of shit........
I am so pissed! I just typed out this HUGE personal entry and my computer shut down! WTF? I'll try to re-do it later.....GGGGRRRRR!
....how can I get you alone?.......
There are a couple things I want to say before I start this. AGAIN!
First off, if you read this, congratulations. You are about to get a glipse into my personal, PERSONAL life. The juicy stuff that not many people want to display to the world.
Secondly, this is something that I need to do for myself. I don't need any shitty responces telling me what a horrible person I am or that I am going to hell. I know all of that already so you can save it for someone else. If you don't like this next post, then don't read anymore. I will not respond to ANY negative feedback. I already feel very badly about this situation that I got myself into. I wouldn't feel the need to write all of this out if my physchiatrist was doing his job or even if my meds were working. I have sent PM's asking to be added to a certain board in this community and by the end of this post, you should be able to figure out which one I am talking about. I am not looking for support and like I stated before nor am I looking for critisism. I am going to end this post and start another one. If you don't like the way I am begining this one, PLEASE do not read any further.
I don't even know where to begin with this. I guess there really is no begining, he kinda just fell into my life I guess. I am going to be refering to him as "tree" just for protection....now I am really debating back and forth with myself whether or not I want to do this. Fuck it! I am going to be very blunt about alot of this. God, I really hope this makes me feel better by getting it out.
I met Tree in January of this year. He is married and has 2 children. I am not his only "girlfriend" and I know this. His wife knows this too, Lord help her. He was seeing my best friend who happens to married as well. I met my friend one night out for drinks, it was supposed to be a girls night out. Tree shows up unexpectantly. My friend, who I shall just call "N" introduces us, no big deal. She already told me about him. Who was I to judge? She is my best friend. I didn't think anything about him at the time. The 3 of us had some drinks and then we all went our separate ways.
N calls me the next day and said that Tree had a good time with us the night before and that he wants to hang out with us again. Ok, cool. No big deal at this point. I was just going out and having a good time. The 3 of us went out quite a bit for about a month time span. I never asked him for his number nor did he ask me for mine.
The fateful day came right before Valentine's Day. I get a text message from a weird number that said, "Hello Georgeous!" I had no clue who it came from. Turns out it was Tree. He got my number from N's phone when she was texting me one night while the 2 of them were out. At this point, all I really knew about him was that he was married, had 2 little girls my kids ages, had his own business and made tons of money and that he was sleeping with my best friend. We had grown to be good friends by now even without any kind of phone conversations. That is where things escalated.
He wanted me to meet him alone one night without telling N. I didn't want to do it nor should I have done it but I did. We went out to TGI Fridays one night and had dinner and some drinks at the bar.
........I need to go do something real quick. Will continue shortly......
So I met him one night and we had a really nice dinner. Still at this point, all I saw in him was a friend. Valentine's Day came and I got 3 dozen roses from Tree sent to my work with a very nice card. The flowers were beautiful. I was smitten. Micky didn't even acknowledge me on Valentine's Day and I was very bitter about that. Tree even came and took me to lunch. Things started to get very intimate after that. I wasn't being shown affection at home, it was like I wasn't even there. I was just there to take care of the house and the kids. It wasn't fair. I started taking all of his time away from N and whoever else he was seeing. N would complain about it but I never told her I was the reason. What a good friend huh? :roll: Anyways, the nights that Micky was working, after the kids would go to bed, I would get a sitter and we would go out. He took me everywhere, places that Micky would never take me too. When I was with him, he was all that I saw and he was the same with me. I was falling for him and he was with me. We discussed this many MANY times. I won't leave Micky for him and he isn't leaving his wife for me. This went on till the day before St. Patty's Day. I left work early and met him at a bar and had a few Appletini's. A few too many. Micky thought I was just working late. I ended up not being able to drive so the friends that he was with drove my car to another bar and Tree called N to come pick me up. That is where everything went down hill. N had to call Micky so he could come get my car. N was pissed off b/c I had been lying to her, she was pissed at Tree b/c he was lying to her and then Micky comes into the picture. He comes to get me and I am in tears. I am so drunk I have no clue what was going on. I don't even remember half of the events that transpired from all of this.
Micky comes and gets me while our neighbor drives my car home. I guess I was so drunk that I confessed everything to Micky about the affair, N sleeping with him, how he treated me like a queen and how bitter I was. Micky was LIVID and who could blame him. He could have kicked me out but he didn't. That was a BAD night. Micky called Tree after he got his number from my cell phone and told him never to contact me again and if he does he was going to tell him wife. Micky had NO clue who this guy even was. If I wanted to stay with him, I had to let Micky tell R (N's wife) about her sleeping around. I had to do it. So Micky called R and told him everything. He filed for divorce. She hated me. Micky and I were at the breaking point. He was in tears pretty much all day and so was I. I told myself then, that it was over with Tree. I wasn't going to do that to my family. Tree and I didn't speak for a couple of weeks until he got a new phone and sent me a text message. Here we go again......that is how everything started the last time.
I went and got another phone as well. I was just going to TALK to him. I missed him and missed hime ALOT. That was a LONG and miserable couple of weeks. He convinced me to meet him for lunch one day and I did and it all started again from there.
I am asked all of the time whether or not I am still seeing him and I am lying all of the time about it. I am sick inside but I can't leave him alone.
His wife went through his phone records one day and got my number and 2 other ones. I never asked him about them. I didn't care. He seemed to be spending most of his free night time with me. Well, I care a little bit. I am not that trashy. Anyways, I never talked to her but she called Micky and he confronted me about it. I just told him that she was crazy and must have been looking at the wrong months phone bill. I am not the 1st one she found out about and I know for a fact that I won't be the last. She likes her material possessions too much and he won't leave his girls.
I hate him but I can't stay away from him. He tugs at all the right emotions and he knows my needs and wants. I hate him for it. I try so hard to just ignore him but I can't. I took off last Tuesday and spent the day with him. I want to lie and say that I had a bad day and should have gone to work but it was a wonderful day. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT! This is going to ruin my marriage and it will. It is just a matter of time.
Why do I do it? I am so stressed about this whole situation. Does this mean that I don't really love Micky and that this would be an easy out? I don't understand the whole thing. I really need some help. I just need to say No and not answer his calls or his texts. I have such strong feelings for him. I don't love him but I care very much for him and he feels the same way. He can keep getting caught and it doesn't phase him. If I get caught again, I'm toast. He says he will take care of me if that happens, he has the money to but I don't want that to happen.
Where did I go wrong in life to end up in this predicament? What do I need to do to stop this madness. I can't be just his friend but I don't want him out of my life completely.
I am a mess..................................
You're gonna have to face it, your addicted to love....I heard that song this morning and it stuck in my head. DAMN Robert Palmer.
Had a decent night last night. Micky worked so it was just the kids and I. We ordered Papa Johns and watched TV. I was in bed at 8:15 and was out like a light. I really needed that with my allergies kicking my ass.
I'm going to meet my mom and have lunch with her in a bit. I miss my mom sometimes. She used to be my best friend. Then when she married Michael, everything went to hell. *sigh* I wonder who's marriage will last the longest?
The guy that comes and washes my bosses car just came in and said to me, "WOW! You lost all of your baby weight fast!" LMFAO! Yea right! Who was he looking at?
Man, I am not used to this. I like the old style better. Oh well. I'll get used to it I guess.
I had lunch with N last week, we had a great time and talked alot about everything that has gone on with us. She has forgiven me and I have forgiven her, she did some shady things to me as well.
I saw Tree last night. DAMN IT! Why do I continue to do this? I am really hating myself right now. and I have no motivation to journal.
Love to all....
I am taking Jacob tonight to see Thomas in Salisbury. I haven't told him yet....it's going to be a surprise. Lexi is going with Micky to his play off games in Ocean City.
I just got lunch and had chinese. It was what I wanted at the time but not anymore. I got chicken wings and shrimp fried rice. I didn't even eat half. Oh well. Maybe later or tomorrow.
I am so ready to go home. It's bad enough I am going to have to rush when I leave work to make it on time for Thomas. This job is really starting to drain me of whatever I have left in me. I'll just have to suck it up. The money is really good. :rolleyes:
Thomas was great! It was like a musical and the kids (I ended up taking Lexi too) had a blast. It was really expensive but worth it. 3 tickets were $54.00 something 2 Thomas light sticks were $24.00 3 popcorns and a soda were $11.00. Oh well. We left a little early to beat the traffic out of there and we had a 45 minute ride home. Plus it was raining. Surprise Surprise! :rolleyes:
I didn't talk to Tree at all yesterday except for a few text messages and I haven't talked to him at all today. I am going to try really hard and not call him and not answer any of his texts or calls. I can do this, I know I can. *sigh*
Micky was in a BAD mood yesterday. Someone must have pissed in his Cherrios. Damn, I hate it when he is like that. He is in a good mood today but he is at work with his *girls* :rolleyes: Whatever. He has 3 other partners today and they are all girls. He is in his glory. Figures he can't be in a good mood at home but he can be at work. Makes sense.
It's been almost 48 hours since I have last talked to Tree. I hope I can do this. I just need to have some Faith in myself. I CAN do this! I don't want to beat myself over it either. One step at a time.
I haven't had any contact with Tree since the 21st and I don't feel bothered by it. :yahoo:I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Let's hope I can keep it up!
Micky and I got into a HUGE fight first thing this morning. What a way to start the day. It got the kids upset as Micky wanted to fight right in front of them and he wouldn't let me move from where I was standing. He is lucky I didn't call the cops on his sorry ass. Trying to be some big tough guy, WTF ever.
Still haven't talked to Tree........
So much is going on, so little time to write it all out. M apologized so we are normal again I guess.
I miss him......I miss him so much it hurts......but I know this is for the best.
I'm around. I am a mess. This whole depression thing is for the birds. I have no motivation to do anything. Just getting out of bed every morning is a hassle. It takes me forever at work to get anything done. I just wish I could snap out of it and be normal again, for myself and for my family. They don't deserve this. *sigh*
Damn him all to hell! I talked to him this morning. He sent me a text and told me to call him. What did I do? Exactly what he wanted. :violent2:GGGRRRRR! It was just friendly conversation though. No planned meetings or sneaky lunches. Just a conversation between 2 friends. I've missed that but I didn't tell him. I did tell him that I was confused and that it would be best if he didn't call or text me. he told me he understood and that it would be me who couldn't resist. What a guy huh? He wasn't pissy about it but he told me that I couldn't resist him. See? That is what I mean in saying that he pulls at my emotions. He is so raw and lovable. Why O' Why did he have to walk into my life?
On a happier note, I FINALLY got my meds changed. I am now on Cymbalta and had my Trazadone increased to 200mg. I am picking up those prescriptions today on my lunch break.
Is it too much to ask?
I want a comfortable bed that won't hurt my back
Food to fill me up
And warm clothes and all that stuffShouldn't I have this,
Shouldn't I have this?
Shouldn't I have all of this, andPassionate kisses
Passionate kisses, whoa oh oh
Passionate kisses from you
Is it too much to demand
I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think
Do I want too much?
Am I going overboard to want that touch?
I shouted out to the night
Give me what I deserve, 'cause it's my right
$28.00 for 7 pills. Holy Shit. Did my insurance cover ANY of it. That's over a hundred dollars a month. I have never paid that much for a script. Damn!
I am feeling pretty goood today! I am actually motivated to get some work done.
The kids went to bed GREAT last night. They only came out of their rooms once unlike the usual 10 or so times.
Jacob will be 3 in 7 days. OMG! Where has the time gone? He is getting SO big. My little Bubbies is growing up. *sniff* *sniff*
For those who haven't seen this......
Damn, I am having a GREAT day today! I haven't felt this good in a LONG time!
I went home on my lunch break and through in a load of wash, took the dogs out (we have 2 now), did up the dishes and went up in the attic and pulled down the Halloween stuff. I am in the mood to decorate and Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. I usually have everything up the 1st of Sept but this year I didn't feel like it.
I've got tons of energy and I am getting my work done. Minus the few minutes I have been on here.
It's a solomn day around. A member of the fire department died this morning at 3am. He had cancer and was only diagnosed a month ago. He never came home from the hospital. He was only in his 40's. I known the family since I was born. The funeral is Saturday or Monday. I am so sad.
I got my Halloween Decorations up last night. That made me feel good but now the kids are playing with everything. EEERRRRRR! I burned my pumpkin candles and the house smells wonderful. I love fall!
2 day - Still feeling great! I love this. The day has flown by!
On a side note, Tree's wife has been calling me today. She found his phone records. I feel terrible now. We have been texting back and forth. She really wants to meet me in person, so I invited her to lunch next week. On me of course. She said she would really like that. She said she isn't mad, she is just hurt. I can totally understand. I really REALLY feel terrible. I think this has really made me relize what I ****-up I have been. This is the breaking point. I am calling Tree tomorrow and tell him that I am done and that I need to concentrate on my marriage and he needs to do the same. This is it for me, I am through with all of this. This should be the end of my story and I can close the chapter on that subject. She does want me to call her when I get off, and I am going to. She is having a horrible day, she has this to worry about and then she got a phone call that her 34 year old BIL who has cancer was told today that he might not make it to the weekend. I do feel for her.
Oh the drama of it all!
Shit has hit the fan at Tree's house and it is all my fault apparently. He told me this morning that I have a big mouth and I that I f'ed everything up for him. Whatever. I was told that his wife knew about the past but not that it was still going on and apparently he told his wife that everyone was lying and that he wasn't cheating. He said she never really knew the truth. Well, when I was talking to her, she sounded pretty damn confident that she knew of it all so I just confirmed it with her. I didn't need her calling my husband. Whatever.....it's one big mess. Now she wants me to call her again this afternoon. Damn!
Had a GREAT weekend! Man, I feel great on my new meds! I just wish the 1 was a bit cheaper. Oh well! I feel wonderful so I guess I will have to suck it up!
Saturday Lexi and I went yard saleing and she got a My Little Pony castle for 2 bucks, she was esctatic. I got Jake 6 NEW shirts for 3 dollars. I got some bargains. It was fun to spend time with just Lexi and I. Jake went with Micky to Lowe's to get a new lawn mower. He ended up with a John Deere and Jake had a blast spending time with Daddy. He wanted to sit on every mower. I spent the rest of the day cleaning which I have not really done in the last 3 months since I was feeling like crap. Tree went through our development that day and waved to Micky. LMAO! I guess he was going to look at a job. Micky comes in and said, "Your buddy just came through and waved to me." I played dumb like I didn't know what he was talking about. He comes through there all the time, he can't help it though. He hasn't sent me any messages so I guess he is really pissed with me. Oh well. This is the end.......I really hope it is anyways. We went to a BBQ and had a ton of fun. It was nice to get out for a few hours without the kids. We needed that.
Micky worked yesterday at 84 so it was just the kids and I. We went grocery shopping and ended up spending 194. and some change. UGH! but I really needed to shop. We are stocked to the max now. Jacob was onery has hell yesterday and I made him take a nap. He got up and we went to my grandmothers for awhile. They fed the bunnies and helped Uncle Jack and Aunt Susie pick tomatoe's and peppers. It was so cute to watch. I wish I had my camera. I made them dinner, gave them a bath and off to bed they went. Micky and his partner came out for dinner so I went and cooked again. I baked some Chicken Boobs, stuffing and rice and the 3 of us sat down and had a good dinner. I was so tired I didn't even wash the dishes. Guess I will do that after the viewing tonight. This is going to be really sad, I know it.
Woke up this morning in a good mood. Made the kids their lunches the night before so I didn't have that to do, got my shower and got the kids ready and was out the door 10 minutes early. I even put meatballs in the crock pot for meatball subs for dinner since it is going to be a hectic night I figured we needed something easy. Now I will have that mess to clean up.
Tomorrow is the full fireman's funeral (which are so sad). I am leaving work at 10:30 since the funeral starts at 11. I am riding with Micky in the traffic control unit and we are leading the procession. I am going to loss it when they do the final alarm for Randy! The engine is taking him around Garfield Parkway and back by the firehouse for his last ride. *sigh* I hate when people have to die, especially the way that he had too. Wasn't even a month that he was diaganosed, he never got to come home from the hospital. Micky was the last member that he got to see. He saw him at 9pm and he died at 3am. Micky is tore up about it. He was only in his 40's. Cancer sucks!
On a lighter note, Jake will be 3 on Wednesday!
Love to all! :bigarmhug: