Obviously have alot more to tell but i need to vent for the now.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant - have gone into early labour. Am on bed rest now. Great.
Eviction notice came today. Adam isn't working because he's 'depressed' and i cant get a job at 8 months pregnant...ive tried everywhere.
We have to be out of this house in 7 days - we have no money nowhere to go. Bank account is over $1,000 DEBIT...how does that work? Now we have a bad name with the rental tribunal and cant get another house because we cant pay rent.
Adam smashed the car on the weekend. Ive been paying $155 for it for the past year and now it its totalled and not covered by insurance because he was drink driving. Why? Because he wanted to go and get his birds from his mums house at midnight drunk. Smart move. No car No Cash No Insurance. 32 wks pregnant early labour 4 kids here already.
Adam insists i have sex with him 3 times a day - i cant do it anymore so now he uses prostitutes. He pays $300 a week he borrows off his mum for *******. In the meantime we have nothing to eat and i am at risk as well as my child of catching a disease.
We desperately need money so what does Adam do? He tries pushing me into becoming a hooker. Pregnant with his baby and he's trying to sell my body. Sad thing is i took bookings - granted i didn't go through with it but i took bookings. How can he love me and the children if he insists i do this?
Now he has the ****s cause i refuse to have sex with other men for $$$.
He drinks everynight and doesnt come to bed until 9am and i have to deal with the threatening debt phone calls and eviction notices and his mother yelling at me on my own. Yet alone the children.
I cant handle the children anymore. They would be best off without me and adam.
I dont have the patience or energy anymore and adam doesnt have the maturity.
Adam woke me up at 3am last night and insisted i drive him to the city so he could suck another guys **** for $100. He wanted me to wake the kids and take him to the city so he could sell himself for $100. I refused. He hit me.
I cant handle this. I cant.
I have nowhere to live, no support, no money, no car, no dignity, no respect.
Tried to show love to Adam last night thinking it was me and not him pffft.
In the middle of making love he tells me he just had sex with another woman a few hrs before...i started to cry but he wouldnt let me go. He just kept doing it. Afterwards he asked what my problem was and i told him that it's over and i cant keep doing this. He said he was just saying it to turn me on...yeah right...thats why i balled my eyes out. We yelled at eachother i went to bed and told him i didnt need him. He came in with metal car towing rope and strangled me until i agreed not to leave.
This is the bottom.
Please forgive me for posting this in your journal. I will delete it once I have your response. I've compiled a number of resources and will be sending them to you via private message along with some more detailed information /personal support. I am not emailing you until I know that your account is secured but you may contact me at anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org.
One note that I want to say on the behalf of so many within our community here. I want you to KNOW that you do not have to live this way. There is help available and you do deserve better. Do not fall into the trap of believing that you don't or that "everyone would be better off without me" because hon, that is a lie and I can prove it.
Please contact me as soon as you can. You can check your pm's shortly as promised.
(((((HUGS)))) In the meantime, I want you to know that you have many positive thoughts and prayers being offered specifically for you right now -- not just by me but many more within our community. You have friends and strangers alike that care about what happens to you. Vent as you need to, but then let us help you help yourself.
Thankyou everyone for your kind words. I don't have much ime to spend on here right now but as soon as i get a moment i shall be back on to update...I have contacted the Domestic Abuse Helpline (Thankyou Missy) and they are fully aware of the situation and are trying to get me out of here with as little stress for me and the kids as possible. They are also working with emergency housing to find me somewhere to stay. The police WILL be getting involved. Thankyou everyone for thinking of me. I didn't know so many people read my journal! I can't thank you all enough. Just knowing that there is someone out there that is thinking of me and KNOWS my situation really helps me...i have no-one here to talk to. No-one else knows what i'm living.
Thankyou all and as soon as i get more time i will post more details.
Thankyou to everyone for your kind words. They are really helping me through at the moment. I have been in a women's refuge the last few days and have just come home for an hr or 2 so i can pack some more clothes for me and the kids so dont have much time just wanted to let you all know what was going on.
I hate the refuge i feel so out of place but at leaat i am safe. i just feel like i dont have anyone in the physical world. everyone is too busy with their own stuff happening. Gotta go,