People, I think, more often tend to think that grieving presents us with tasks, that there is certain work that we have to engage in in order to work through a loss.
The first task really has to do with accepting the reality, that it's really true, a recognition that a life has changed.
The second task, for the most part, has to do with coming to terms with all the pain.
The third task is learning to adjust to a new environment in which roles change.
The fourth task really is about finding a new relationship with the deceased person and finding new sources of meaning in life.
----This is exactly how i feel.
Anticipatory grief is really about a dance between holding on -- staying with the person, still having a relationship -- and slowly letting go -- beginning to think about what life is going to be like without this person here. It's a difficult dance to do.