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  1. #201
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    Here.

    ugh, this is probably going to get long.



    Dusty is back in Mass, she's staying with us for the time being. We had issues the first few days but it's better now. She knows we are only trying to help her. Our neighbor has turned into a physco b!tch. She's been trying to get Dusty to go against us, needless to say that wasn't gonna fly. I don't want to explain the whole thing but there was alot of yelling and cursing. We tried to explain that the neighbor only wanted to use her (they are both gay) and she didn't see it till the next day when we were talking and the things the neighbor did/said. So, she tried to start sh!t one night when they were outside smoking cig's. She comes in and says she wants to go to bed but Dusty isn't letting her go inside. I got so frustrated because i didn't want to be in the middle. Well, Dusty comes in and see's my face and is like wtf is going on? I told her exactly what *C* said and what i said. *C* wanted me to go out and b!tch out Dusty to come inside.




    Jim still hasn't seen the specialist, he see's them next wk.

  2. #202
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    i've been trying to get on for a few days now and couldn't.


    so, update:

    Dusty is once again gone from our lives. Unreal. The first night she was here she stole about 10-15 of Jim's vicodins. She admitted it when confronted. Well, a wk ago friday he had to have a procedure done and he asked where the vic's were and told me to bring the bottle with us. I got it from his drawer (in our room!) and notice theres not alot of pills in it. I counted them right then, i know there were 58 in the bottle when i put it in the drawer. Now, there was only 29. I came downstairs and told him right away. We waited till we got back from the hosp to confront her and of course she denied it. She ran out back and called someone to come get her. Normal person who knows they did nothing wrong would try to figure out what happened to them. She started leaving without her bag. I told Jim to tell call her and have her come get it cause she wasn't staying here anymore. I had considered letting her stay if she admitted to it and we could have worked it out. Nope! So done. Plus, i was going to delete her icon on the computer and thought about it for a second. I didn't and got into her facebook and found a sh!tload of the lies she'd been telling us. She even went as far as to blame the missing vic's on me to her friends. wtf? I do take his vic's sometimes (usually only when i have AF) but i tell him ALWAYS. She is no longer welcomed here. I blocked her # from calling the house phone. She wants contact she has to go through my cell. It's not f@cking worth it.



    So, unto Jim. He saw the specialist. They wanted him scoped again, this time put under. They didn't find anything, but did biopsies on a few areas on his throat. We should get the results soon.


    Me news: I have a job interview next month. Yay! I'm going to look into volunteering at the local fire station. I need to decide on my next steps. I know i want to go back to school. I just have to decide on LPN, MA, or EMT. I'm leaning toward EMT.

  3. #203
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    Biopsies are negative for throat cancer. Thank God.


    I got a conditional job offer (cori/background checks need to be done) at the place where i had the interview. I'm scheduled to start JUne 27th. I would be working the 7am-3pm shift. I have completely stopped smoking, not only because of the drug test, btw , i know i can't smoke if i want to further my life in the healthcare field.
    ~ Sara -

    ~ DH - Jim -

    ~ Zachary - 4/19/95 ~ stillborn @ 33 wks

    ~ *J* - 16yr old

    ~ *M* 11yr old

  4. #204
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    Job is awesome!


    Jim and I? Not so much. I'm starting the process of looking for my own place.

  5. #205
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    Here.


    So,


    yeah. i'm not putting this here yet.

    you know the person you are supposed to be with forever? yeah, so f#@king found that.

    Jim and i haven't been doing good for a long @ss time. He appreciates nothing that i've done the last 5 yrs while he's been in and out of the hospital, and he may wind up there soon because he's not feeling good and has a low-grade fever, he's been puking alot lately.

    This person *B*. I knew it the day we met, so did he. We both felt some sort of energy. He's 48, not married, not single, no kids. Been w/ the same g/f for 13 yr.

    I am still serious about getting my own place. He doesn't deserve this and i'm telling him soon.
    ~ Sara -

    ~ DH - Jim -

    ~ Zachary - 4/19/95 ~ stillborn @ 33 wks

    ~ *J* - 16yr old

    ~ *M* 11yr old

  6. #206
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    He knows.

    We had a long (2-3 hr) discussion lastnight.

  7. #207
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    So,


    the plan?

    6 month trial period to work it out. marriage counseling.

    If we aren't in a better place by the end of Feb i'm going to get my own place.

    We've been having really good convo's getting stuff out.

  8. #208
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    this is hard.

    i'm not supposed to talk/text to *B*. i don't even know how to explain it. i got the same exact feeling the first day i met jim, i knew we where going to be married. i knew/felt it when i met *B*, he felt it too.

    the difference though?

    it hurts physically when i'm not near him. like my body hurts.

    i really am trying with jim.

  9. #209
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    here.


    we still aren't good.

    regardless, i am going to be moving out. i need to figure ME out and do what makes ME happy. selfish? yup, probably. i'd rather be happy then miserable.

    i went through an external/internal pelvic u/s. i have risk factors of ovarian cancer, the u/s came back normal....but i am still getting alot of pelvic pain that can't be explained.

    things with *B* are still the same. he needs to make some decisions too. it still hurts physically when we aren't near each other.

  10. #210
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    Happy 2014! Things are the same. I had an awesome job opportunity that would have been a live-in situation. I'm not taking it because of Jim. He wound up in the hospital again right before Christmas. His heart function has lowered again, he was at 50% a yr ago, now he's at 22%. So, i'm a little bit pissed about that. It would have been perfect. I could keep my current job or go to parttime so I could go to nursing school during the day, she only needed someone from 5pm-10pm everynight with my own apartment and directly on a lake. So pissed. I'm at the point where I know putting him into either assisted living or a nursing home (def not the one I work at!) is my only option. He's not safe here. He keeps falling. I can't take care of him much longer.

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