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  1. #21
    Posting Addict SparkleMomma's Avatar
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    July 19th. Only 2 more 19ths to go until it would have been BeBe's DD. It still hurts & I still cry when the 8th, the 30th & the 19th rolls around, so yeah, the beginning, middle and end of each month.

    I am scheduled to return to work finally on August 1!! That will be a huge help & relief!!

    So much has been going on. Liam has been through all sorts of tests for different things. Mikey had his War Amps/ChAMPS seminar over the weekend. Got some great pics of him!!

    Will update more when I can. Need the Ativan to kick in first.

    I miss you BeBe





    {01Aug07}

  2. #22
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    Going to see Robert Munsch this afternoon with the boys! I loved him when I took Liam last year & this time it is free with gate admission to the Capital Ex. Man I hate calling it that!! It will always be K-Days!!

  3. #23
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    Bad news. Poppa {Liam's great Grandpa & really my one "real" family} had a major stroke yesterday. This was his 3rd one, but this one they classified as massive. Yesterday he was Ok, but it was the calm before the storm. He only recognized his wife & reacted to Liam's name. His right arm was paralyzed and he could move his right leg. He could not speak.

    Today we brought Liam & he is worse off. He has 2 clots. One in his left side of the brain & they found another one in his left CA. Yeah, in his neck. Not good. They can not operate & are hoping & waiting for it to move from his neck to his brain & hoping that the clot busting meds they are giving him will break down the CA clot before it does major damage once it reaches his brain. Today though, the doc wasn't as optismistic as he was yesterday

    He would not talk to day & they are putting a feeding tube in him. He also has insulin dependant diabetes & his numbers are all over the place naturally.

    One miracle though, Liam went to his right side & told him he loved him & he was the best & Tom squeezed Liam's fingers!! He also moved his right shoulder!! I am not sure to get too overjoyed for this, because I know enough to know that sometimes that happens.

    We are not sure & hoping like the docs say, it could take a full 6 months to get any definate answers. God I pray this isn't it. He is too amazing & special.

    God, please watch over Tom & keep him safe.

  4. #24
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    Things aren't looking too good Apparently he had a heart attack sometime while we were there earlier. The only way they found out was through a blood test that checked his enzemes. He pulled out his feeding tube already. They asked about life saving measures. Gramma said that she wants them to do what they can to keep him alive, but not if it means he will have a poor quality of life. She asked me to let Liam know & to find out if he wants to come say goodbye.

    Liam was sleeping, so I don't think he really understood J & I. He went back to sleep. I am praying he will hold off until tomorrow so Liam can be awake to go down there first thing.

    Lacey got off the phone with me because they were going to restrain him to put the feeding tube back in.

    I can't believe this is happening. So fast. He was so good yesterday...How does this happen? He put his hand on Gramma's shoulder & was pulling on her sweater & touched her hair. Is he saying goodbye? How do you know? I don't want him to go, but I don't want him to suffer. It is so hard to not be selfish. I just want Poppa to be at ease & have no pain & know how much he is loved and how special he is & how much he means to me and the boys.

    Please don't let him be suffering. No one deserves that.

    Tom, you are so incredible. I love you. Mieky loves you. Liam loves you.

  5. #25
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    Vent came out about 2pm. I will get into more details later. We are basically just waiting. But for somer eason, they also took him off his insulin without consutling the family first.

    He is breathing on his own, but fluctuates from 82-100. Yeah, not good. His HR is from 90-135. Yeah, I know. It's just a wiaitng game now & it is no longer in our hands.

    Please pray for him. This man litterally would give you his shirt of his back. I am not really evena part of the family any longer, and he has never used that against me. This man, truely was a great man.

    I love you Poppa Tom. Please be at rest. I will forever be indebted to you for the love, supprt & kindness you have done for my boys & myself. YOu are amazing. I love you. Thank you.

  6. #26
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    Poppa passed away yesterday morning at about 6:58am. I went to see him shortly after. I took the boys to DC because Liam had a trip to the zoo. I didn't tell him until after, because I only learnt as I was walking out the door to take them. I was numb & didn't want to upset them.

    He is still not talking about it. Just tells me he is sad. Naturally. Mikey says he is happy, because now he is playing with BeBe {girl}. He still calls her that.

    My heart is so torn & I feel lost. I wandered around yesterday after and felt like I was not walking on the ground. I still feel like I am waling on the air. I cna't believe he is gone. He only takes the best though, right?

    Funeral is Monday at 1. I miss you so much Tom. You have meant the world to me. I don't know how I would have gotten by these past 6.5 years without you. I am glad you are at peace now.

  7. #27
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    Today is the veiwing. I am going. Liam doesn't want too & that is fine. Totally understandable. Tomorrow is the funeral & he wants to go to that.

    I am still torn over this. I can't believe it happened. Feels so weird to feel life go on around you, when you are so sad.

  8. #28
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    I am excited ofr this afternoon! At 3 I go in and meet with my union rep & my APO about my return to work start!! I can't believe I have been off since Feb 12 & I am just starting back on Friday!!! My BDay is Sat, so what a great present!

    The boys want me to stay home, but I can't wait to get back into it!! Plus it is a modifed schedule for August, so I will still have some time with them!!

    Tom would be so happy! All he bugged me about was when I was going to go back to work!!!

  9. #29
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    OK, so I was upset this morning about it being the whole one week since his passing. Then I had a shower to get ready for my meeting. When I came down, I looked on the TV where the boy's cocoon's have been resting since they got them the day Tom had his stroke. Low and behold, one of them hatched!!! I was in awe, as it just had happened! I saw it slowly unravel it's set of wings & learn how to start to use them! I even took a video of it!

    Then, my meeting was very good & I know Tom would have been happy. I got home, checked my phone messages & found I had 8 expired messages. I ususallly don't ever check my messages & when I hear I have expired ones, I just delete tthem right away. I listened today. The 8th one, was Tom. It was from the 19th, the day before the stroke. I don't think he knew he elft a message, as it was him saying my name & then asking his wife for our =cell number. He did things like that all the time, or would just leave the phone off the hook so the messages would go on forever!! I burst out crying. I couldn't believe I was hearing him again. I resaved the message of course!!!

    Liam had a bit of a break down tonight. He told me that he hated this life because it took his grampa away. 'why did it take him away Mommy?" was the question that followed. I told him that he knows that grampa is still with him & watching over him & that he is still his best freind. Then he told me he misses him very much & he tries to keep the sad inside. He then asked if he could talk to L {a social worker we met in ICU beofre he passed}. I told him I would call her.

    I know it is a part of life, but this was so unexpected right now & this is Liam's 3rd loss in less that 11 months. My poor little monkey. I am feeling so lost that I can't help him.

  10. #30
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    I'm at work! I'm only here until noon, but hey!!! It feels so good!! Now I just have to find where everything is & sort out things!!

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