Thread: It's Only Temporary!

Been awhile. I have my CT on the second, so I am greatly looking forward to that, although I am not happy about the fasting and the nasty drink!

The CT went as well as to be expected. I actually had to have 2 nasty drinks!!! And an IV and then injection of contrast to boot! So much fun feeling like you peed yourself! Now the waiting game again.

My Mom and I are taking the boys to DisneyWOrld on Dec 5-12!!! So excited!

I am seeing my OB on Nov 20, just for check up, but then his nurse called to tell me that my progesterone is coming back low & when I do start the Clomid again, I need to up the dose by 50mg. Yeah hormones!

Mikey and I are seeing the Genetics again on October 22nd, not for anything too serious, just a go-through and discuss the minor prune-belly M's Ped has said he believes he has. We've thought that for some time, but it is really minor. He just has a floppy belly & his muscles are refusing to tighten.

Liam is doing amazing in school & his math is unbelievably great! I have no idea where he got his math-brains from!! He also started basketball & is so excited to be the next Chris Bosch!!

So Genetics yesterday was interesting. Mikey may have Carpenter Syndrome. A very rare defect {of course}. Only about 100 documented cases.

His head shape though is what throws me off. Yes, it is a bit misshapen, but never severely I thought. He was cleared of that YEARS ago. but now he needs more skull xrays under investigation for cranial stenosis.

I just want him to catch a break. No matter what, Mikey is Mikey.

Makin me a very proud Mommy!

Gosh it's been awhile again.

Anyway, lots going on, but not sure what! I do know that I will be needing surgery on my kidney. Thank God. I hate this thing. But things are moving waaaay too fast for my liking. I had an appt with my new Urologist on Jan 9th. Jan 16th I had a renal scan. Jan 19th I had a Cystoscopy. Doc called me Jan 20th to confirm I will need surg. Got a call today that on Jan 26th I have a CT, Jan 27th I have another Cystoscopy. Feb 11th I meet with the surgeon. I am not sure all that is going on and why, I thought it was stones but this is also the cause of my sepsis last March. This new doc does agree that it was Urosepsis. Wonderful. Also if I don't have something done and soon, I will end up back there.

My health is going downhill right now but I know it will get better. I just thought I was totally excited to have the surg, but now I am actually really scared. I am happy to have the pain over with and to lessen the chances of recurrance, but man, I am scared now

Surgery is finally booked for March 2nd! I can not wait to be free of these darned stones!

Gotta leave work now. Got a call from my mom while I was getting blood work that my Poppa has been admitted to hospital and they need to put him on life support. OMG I can not belive this is happening. If there are typos I really don't care.

I just pray that he is OK. I can't loose him. It kills me because I dreamt of my Gramma last night, his wife. I haven't done that since LAST March, when I ended up fighting for my life the next day.

WTF is happening? I love you Poppa

C&P
Well today marks THE DAY. I am alive. I am here. It is really bothering me not that fact, but the whole damn situation. People are starting to tell me it seems like I have a form of PTSD asI really can not seem to copy/let go/deal with what happened. I do still have anger about it, anger for what though I am not sure. I know I conflict with myself but it is very hard to explain.

I am upset that I raised my voice already with the boys this morning. I mean what if?... I know I can not live life as what if, but sheesh, it is always in my mind.

Ever have one of those days when you are just sad? It's not as though I don't have reason to be, I just feel overly sad {if that's possible}.

Poppa meets with the Lymphoma team on Wednesday & I am glad that my Mom will be going with him.

Poppa passed away August 1st, 2009 And it was the most perfect passing that I could have wanted. He was with my Mom at her house--as he wished. He did not suffer. he just finshing telling her how he loved her. Then he laid down and closed his eyes.

God how I miss him. My heart still thinks to go visit him while I'm working. I miss walking to the ward and bringing him his Pepsi and Coffee Crisp. He is so special and so missed. We are having his memorial this Sunday and although it is going to be one of the most saddest days, I will finally have peace knowing he is with my Gramma and is no longer hurting.

RIP Pop--I love you so much. April 2nd, 1928-August 1st, 2009. Catch a big one in Heaven, OK?