J's thoughts and stuff...

OMG... I had a dream that would happen to you, Jina. OMG. I'm so speechless right now... overjoyed for you!!!

Thank you Rachael! That's really funny about the dream! :D

Well, it’s been a while. I lost the babies. I’m strangely okay. I have no idea if it’s because I’ve been through this twice before in less than a year or if it’s because I’m still technically pregnant. Maybe I’ll fall apart after the D&C on Friday…then again, maybe not. I hope not. I’m tired of having my life revolve around pregnancies and miscarriages. Even though I desperately want a baby I think I NEED to focus on me for a while. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m not just talking about the extra 15 lbs hanging out on my body. I’m talking about my spirit. I used to be such a carefree person and somehow I’ve turned in to this obsessive person that I don’t like. I must work on this.

First is the D&C on Friday….I can’t wait. I need this to be over. My hubby is insisting on another ultrasound before the D&C and I just don’t see the point. I doubt the babies did CPR on each other. I might give in just for his sake but truth be told, I’m not up for another ultrasound. I hate them. I absolutely despise them. Most people are happy to get ultrasounds…well…not me….they make me want to faint.

I’m looking forward to going on a mini-vacation for my Hubby’s 30th Birthday. I have no clue where to but I want to take him somewhere fun since this is the second birthday in a row that’s been tainted with a m/c.

I’m also excited to do a 3 day detox from Pressed Juicery. Hubby is going to do it with me and I’m very much looking forward to it. I feel like this will jump start my recovery. I NEED to do this not only for my physical health but for my mental health as well. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like my body has been tainted with all these miscarriages so I need to cleanse my body.

These are my thoughts this morning….I’m sure I’ll be back soon to spew more cr@p later.

So sorry hon, :bigarmhug:

((HUGS))