just bcoz i need to write my feelings down

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
just bcoz i need to write my feelings down

13.1.08

As i child i always used to keep a journal but as i got older i didnt have the time to. i really wish i did during my pregnancy as that was the most special time in my life and now my baby is growing fast already he will be 10months old at the end of this month and i dont know where the time goes! we was hoping to ttc again when he turned 1 but now it seems hes still to young to want another one but i do want my children to be close in age im thinking maybe waiting til hes 16-18months old. its mad to think 3 years ago i was grieving for a baby i never had with some1 thinking back i never really loved. i think everything happens for a reason if i never lost that baby i wouldnt have met my now dbf, be engaged and have a beautiful son together i honestly feel blessed to have a life that some people can only dream of.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

13.1.08 cont.

im glad that xmas is over with and now its back to normal but im also sad that my baby's 1st has come and gone, im much more looking forward to this year as he will know whats going on and i may even be pregnant again. i hope it doesnt take up to a year again like it did with brandon

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

14.1.08
so someone must have flicked a switch on the board lastnight i got up this morning and theres drama yet again and people are leaving, i dont know whats going on but alot of my friends have left and theres only a handful left, im not enjoying it as much as i used to. maybe dbf getting rid of the internet isnt such a bad idea afterall it will save us money too. im confused as only a few months ago we were all getting on. i think some peoples personalities just clash. like one of the ladies said, if we were all in a room face to face hardly anythin would be said arrgh. just feel like an angry rant today

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

14.1.08
omg how cute is my kid! hes being so adorable today!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

15.1.08
had a good day all in all claimed for job seekers they treated me like shit but hey! brandon is off his food but he seems ok so hmm

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

ok so ive started the slimfast diet 1st day today it seems to be going well so far

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

so far ive had a milkshake for breakfast and a snack bar im abit hungry but im sure it will pass

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

i need to lose about 2 stone b4 i start ttc again, im not massive. a size 14 but i want to get down to a 10-12 if i can thats what i was b4 i had brandon so id like to be that again

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

1st day of dieting is done. i did well!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

30.1.08

well havent been doin much lately diet is still goin well lost 3lbs in the 1st week, hopefully it will be more this week, the hunger bit is going slowly im kinda used to it now. kim came round y.day and we got talkin about emma again i really miss her, i havent even seen the twins yet i bet they r getting big now. i think about her all the time its just a waste of such a young life, she was so lovely. im getting tearful again writing this as i dont talk about her much only to people who understand how i feel.

Brandon is thriving every day, he fell over y.day and has a carpet burn on his nose but it doesnt seem to have bothered him much.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

1.2.08

i cant believe we are in febuary already! where has the year gone really? brandon is one next month i kinda feel sad that he is no longer my baby hes turning into a big boy so quickly. we r gonna start ttc around april time i think if ive lost enough weight if not it will be longer as i really dont want to put loads more weight on becausei know it will be harder to shift again afterwards atleast i will learn not to eat shit again like i did wen i was pg with brandon.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

2.02.08

im quite pissed off today, mums took brandon to see my grandparents and craigs fixing his ****in cousins car, oh it'll only take 10mins he said lastnight then when i said yeh we'll see he had a go at me... helloooooo 3 hours later yeh 10mins! so anyway im in on my own again kinda wish brandon didnt go with mum now coz id have company but oh well i thought me n craig cudve spent time alone together obviously not the case. just need a moan today!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

28.02.08

i keep forgetting ive got this journal but now ive got a good reason to keep writing in here coz im pregnant!!! wahoo!! im about 5weeks gone at time of writing this, its so exciting but worrying at the same time, im wanting millions of sticky bean vibes! im sure it will be fine tho

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

5.4.08

well im still pregnant which is great! i ahve my dating scan next week so fingers crossed all will be well. Brandon is now 1! he had a nice birthday with lots of presents. our holiday is also less than a month away now i think i will enjoy the break. we will be finding out the sex of this baby after we get back which will be the end of may making me around 18weeks ish? depending on the date this u/s gives me. im more excited about it now than i was to start with but it was a shock with all these questions how will i cope etc! but yeh im happy now.