I am still really tired but I think it's just the end of term. I can't wait for the holidays, I'm desperate for a break. I think this is the hardest timetable I've ever had. Every year group I teach except one has a public exam at the end of the year - 1 set of A2s, 2 sets of ***, 2 sets of GCSEs and a set of KS3 SATs. That's about 140 students, all of whom want individual help and guidance on what to do! It's utterly exhausting - I don't remember the last time I had a lunch break where I didn't just gulp down my lunch and dash off to see some pupil or other.
On the plus side DH and I are having all kinds of fun. We are generallly relaxed and happy at home and DTD has increased in frequently since I came off the pill. With any luck this will convince him that having a baby is a good idea!
As I said I am learning to knit! I've ordered some work and started practising. I figured it would be really nice to be able to knit some baby related things for friends (and hopefully for me)!
However as usual I have loads of marking to do... I better get on with it.
So I will end with some positive vibes aimed at DH (so he subliminally gets the message but I don't nag...)
CD 7 has arrived and AF is slowly disappearing. I'm feeling in so many minds about everything at the moment that I'm all over the place! I really want to TTC, but I'm still feeling guilty about leaving my sixth formers during their course! Which I really didn't ought to because my first priority is to my life, not them - but it's hard not to feel a little unhappy about it.
AF arrived a day early this month - so my next AF is due Dec 23rd. That means that not only will I be testing early if DH changes his mind this cycle, but that I may well get another shot at September! I really like the people on the birth board, and I really want to stay, but the chances of that happening given I haven't even started to TTC seem slim!
Still my friends are behind me - they'd like me to stay close to their kids in age! They're lovely, I'm very lucky. That's what I keep clinging to that life is about - family and friends.
Misread the numbers on my predicted AF date - not the 23rd but the 29th (I knew something was screwy about that) so I will only get the one chance - this week - at September. But I think I am going to have to accept that that is not going to happen. Still, I am too amused at my own stupidity to mind too much.
I am going to jump on DH in the next few days and see what he will do. Hopefully decide just to leave it to chance rather than using BC!
Work is getting more and stressful by the day. Christmas is coming and the kids are getting restless. More fidgeting, more whingeing, more late homework and more high spirits getting otherwise nice kids into trouble. It's really tiring! I had a strange incident today as well - turns out one of my Year 10s is phobic of blood, so when I showed The Great Gatsby DVD on the screen in the lecture theatre, she fainted when Myrtle cuts her fingers. Great! Why don't they tell us these things in advance?
Otherwise there is nothing exciting to report. Still waiting, still hoping, still look forward to the end of term next week.
No O yet, which might be good - gives me a few more days for DH to think! His parents are up tomorrow though, which always stresses me out... They're not awful, just tiring, and I am already so tired I don't think I'll handle it very well.
Still, only a week to go... Speech day on Monday. Need to go into Cambridge and hire a hood to wear. I wouldn't dress up but this year it's my year group and I feel I owe it to them to give a good show.
Well O came and went and we DTD only once in my F period- with BC! So I am not pregnant this cycle. DH has been working stupidly hard (it's nearly ten o'clock and he's still not home!) so now is not the time to broach it.
I still feel really positive about TTC in the New Year though. After Christmas I think he'll feel relaxed enough to talk about it and we can go ahead. I hope so, anyway! It's strange - I know he's happy with the idea; it's just that he needs to get over his last scruples over timing.
I'm looking on the bright side to not being pregnant this cycle too - no need to worry too much about what to eat and drink over Christmas!
Well I've been a bit quiet over Christmas, so time for an update.
I had a nasty nasty flold (a cold, but nasty like flu!) over the holiday so I've felt pretty rotten. I'm only just coming out of that and now it means I've just got a week left of the holiday in which to feel bad about having to go back to work! At least if I was pregnant I'd know it wasn't for good.
Over Christmas my niece announced that she wanted more cousins, and my SIL told us she thought we must be in the right place by now (oh, and she is now engaged at last which is GREAT), so I took that as a sign. I've told DH that as far as I'm concerned it is happening, because I feel it's right, and I'm expecting that he will be ready by the time I ovulate because I feel like this is the month. He seemed bemused, but resigned to a certain extent (in a good way!) Perhaps this positive thinking will be the way forward. I've also been tidying the house like mad because if I'm going to be ready, I need to be ready with a baby-friendly house. It can't hurt for him to see a more practical side of my usually fairly scatty self.
Tomorrow we're off early to IKEA to do a shopping trip for some furniture, and then we're hosting a new year's eve party, which hopefully will go well. At least I'm not throwing up from excess catarrgh any more, so that might help with the success rate!
Anyway, in summary: No jellybean yet, but a whole lot of hope for this cycle (currently day 2)
Still no step forward... Except we have had a long conversation (again) and we keep taking baby steps forward each time. So apparently (if the actually getting pregnant works) I will definitely be pregnant by August! No guarantee of that though, is there... But at least I know we're not looking at too long before trying.
DH encouraged me to look into practical considerations such as maternity leave, pay and timing (so he clearly is getting there!) and, what do you know but it turns out that this month or next month would be the right month to get pregnant! So having hinted he's probably heading for a no, DH looked a bit surprised to find out that logic led us to now...
So who knows! He may turn around this week and say it's a go-er, if not at least I know now we're not going to have to wait for ages and ages and ages...
On a different note, the cats are being highly amusing. Sephy emptied the entire contents of a bag of elastic bands over the study, one at a time, and Tiggy crawled into bed yesterday, under the covers, and went to sleep with her head on the pillow. They have such a terrible life...
I think I Od on CD13, after EWCM on CD 12 and a positive OPK same day. So I reckon O turned up early. I'd given up on this month because DH still wasn't sure. But then Friday night (CD14) we went out to dinner and had a really nice conversation about babies and names and family stuff. Then on Sat am (CD15) in bed when we DTD he forwent the BC! Afterwards he said he wasn't sure he could commit to stopping for good yet, but as it seemed likely the fertile time was past he was happy to risk it. This is a major step forward, and I am excited. He also said that we could still manage to work the maternity leave well if we were due in November - so I really do think he's ready to come round!
More excitingly I'm guessing it's possible I was fertile at the time we DTD! There's no guarantee, but no O prediction is totally accurate, so it COULD happen. It's not likely, but it is possible. So I guess in a way I'm in a 2WW of sorts...
Ok, weirdly I have been feeling very peculiar all day. I don't really believe I could be pregnant because of the timing issue, but it could be subconsciously psychological I guess.
I feel strange, first of all. Kind of odd and with a sort of fluttery nervous feeling in my stomach - although I don't feel at all stressed, or excited or nervous. All day I've been having a dull ache in my abdomen, low down, and occasionally pinching, pulling cramps. Now I rarely have PMS this early, but I'm guessing that's the most likely explanation. I guess I'm probably about 3dpo, or maybe 4, but if I'm 4 I don't see how on earth I'm pregnant.
I also need to pee a lot. I could just be starting a urine infection I guess! All that extra DTD might have resulted in that. But there's no pain when I urinate (TMI sorry!) and it just keeps coming! I must have been five or six times this afternoon.