Laughing in all the chaos

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Laughing in all the chaos

I've wanted to start a journal for awhile so I may as well do it now. My name is Shannon (29), dh Rob(39), dd Autumn(3) and ds Logan (2). Dh and I were married in September 2002. We were going to wait a year before ttc. We ended up trying earlier but it took 6 months to conceive dd. I knew after 2 weeks of dd's birth I was ready for another one, but he held out on me until dd was 4 months old before he gave me the green light. When dd was 7 months old I got my bfp. Little did I know the challenges and unexpectedness of what was to come.....

At 27 weeks I knew something was wrong. My doc kept telling me everything was fine. I was not feeling him move like he should have. At 34 weeks I say a different doctor and she ordered an u/s. 2 days later I went October 12, 2005. I knew something was wrong when the tech and student weren't saying anything. I noticed on the monitor he was not moving and the est. weight was 2lbs 12oz. She told me to wait while to talked to the radiologist. They immediately called my doc came in and told me to go to her office. I arrive and they immediately wisk me back. She tells me to pee in a cup and get undressed from the waist down. She checks me and I am 2cm dialated. She asks me if I have been crampy and I said yes but nothing unusual. She found his heartbeat then told me to get dressed. She came back in and said on the scan he failed and scored a 2 out of 10. The 2 was for having enough amniotic fluid and that was it. She said he had to come today he was small and not growing and would do better on the outside. I immediately started bawling. She said she was not sure where I would deliver since the hospital could not accomidate a preemie. She said either I deliver there and he was flown out or I would get transported before. She said go to the hospital get admitted and she would be there shortly. I called dh and he was on his way.

I arrive at the hospital and was getting admitted when I see dh running by at a dead run. I said I'm over here. I get upstairs and was having some contractions no big deal. They check me again I am now 3cm. They pump me with sugar water to get him moving. Hopkins accepted me after some debate if they had room or not. I waited for an amublance and dh and fil went back to my house(opposite direction) so he could drop off his huge company truck and get our car. Everything was fine until 30 minutes out. I started contracting bad and his heart rate was decelerating into the 50's. With contraction now every 3 minutes lasting a minute was not good. The lights and sirens went on and they were on the phone to get me re-routed to a closer hospital. When still on the phone we were at their back door and they said they couldn't take me. So off over a bumpy road to Hopkins. I arrived and was swarmed by people. The room was so crowded people were standing up on furniture. They wanted to do another u/s to see what they were facing since the other one showed fluid on his stomach and brain. The break my water and insert 3 different things to monitor him and give me a catheter. In the middle of the u/s I said stop I feel pressure. They look and said everyone out were going now. I arrive in the largest delivery room with even more people. I had 3 doctors delivering, a nurse and a doctor holding my hand since dh wasn't there yet and a team for him. I pushed and his head came out so I held on while they suctioned and removed the cord from his neck then the next push he was out. They should him to me and in a blink of an eye he was gone. I ended up hemorraghing(sp?) so I was not allowed to see him until 5 hours later. He ended up weighing in at 3lbs 4oz and 15 inches long. He was on the ventilator for one night . He stayed their for 2 1/2 weeks and was transferred to a lower level NICU that was much closer (an hour away). A week later he was released to come home only weighing 3lbs 11oz. Now the fun begins.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So where did I leave off...........When he was transferred from Hopkins to FMH they told me he had passed on one ear but failed on the other. They said nothing to worry about they will retest him. So when they re-tested him he failed on both. They told me not to worry about it again but to have him tested by an audiologist. In December(among his numerous other appts) I get him in. They tested and said the test was inconclusive but it did show a loss in both ears. My world crumbled. She said to schedule an appt at Hopkins for the ABR test. The earliest they could get me in was in January. So leave a mom to worry and try everything under the son to get my little man to startle or something. In the meantime life at home was hell. He was such a fussy baby and was never happy. I could only take him to the doctors and not take him in public until March. Docs wanted him home to decrease chance of getting sick since they never found out what caused him to not grow past a certain point.

I hated being confined to my house. I know I had PPD but I never saw I doc. I just talked to my mom and cried. Finally when I went back to work I felt myself again. This was the point I realized I loved my son. I hate to say this but I didn't bond with either child at first sight. Dd was a couple weeks old when it finally hit me and Logan was 3 1/2 months old. I think I detached myself from Logan preparing for the worst to come and in till I saw the light at the end of the tunnel did I realize what an amazingly strong little man I had.

So we finally get in to Hopkins they confirmed that he did have hearing loss, but it was only moderate. I felt like dancing for joy. My child was not deaf, my world would not be completely turned inside out and upside down. This was such a relief and I realized then I could deal with this and do what was ever necessary for my son. At 5 months old he was fitted with his first BLUE pair of hearing aids. I was proud of my son why not add a little fun to it. At the same time we started Early Intervention services. I have gone through some problems with them but I know have a good team. He is seen once a week by a speech therapist and a DT at daycare. And then every other friday another DT comes to the house. Plus can I just say I have the most awesome daycare on the face of this earth. Logan went with her full time last January and she took it upon her self to learn sign. All the kids know sign now and she will do anything to accomodate him. I just lover her. So now I am pretty much up to date and can get on with the present life I lead.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Logan had his EI visit this morning. It went well. He signed train for the first time.:) It is just so frustrating. I think a part of it is he is so darn stubborn. He says uh-oh plan as day now and he is starting to say Bye instead of Aye. Progress is being made but it is so slow. He can sign cookie, cow, bird, dog, bunny, milk, cracker, shoes, candy, eat, car and train. His 6 month goal right now is 15 words and 15 signs. It seems like alot, but I know once we get to that point it should start snow balling.

The kids are playing, hopefully they can wear themselves out for a good nap, because mommy needs a nap today. Autumn is doing good with potty training. Hasn't had an accident in 2 weeks. I think she has gotten over her fear of pooping in the potty as she now tells me she has to go. I thought it would take longer but knock on wood it is going good. I had been battling her for the past 18 months with going, but I finally had enough in October and said panties her we come. Plus she loves her Dora panties.

It's snowing outside but not really sticking. This is when I hate living in the mountains. Christmas is not that far away. It should be interesting to see what the retail market does with the sales down. I think I just might hold out for some bargains which is so unlike me, but why not take advantage.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So here we are on Monday. Autumn last night after dinner said her belly hurt and that she needed a Dora band-aid. No big deal, so I put one on her. We get ready for bed and I get her warm milk for her and she refuses. We go to bed and I read her two stories and ask if she wanted any books to read and she said no. Now I know something is up. I hear her 10 minutes later crying and I go in and she is covered in puke. Dh takes care of the bed and I wash her. Poor thing. Then she kept telling me she had to spit in the potty. We would go to the potty and she would spit and that was it. She said she was a big girl for spitting in the potty.LOL! I called in to work today to air on the side of caution. Why is it that my boss makes me feel guilty? Don't get me wrong he is a fantastic boss, but just his tone of voice had me feeling instantly guilty. WHY! I mean I am at work everyday even when I am sick. Usually when the kids are sick they go to Grandmom's. I just hate that feeling.

We had a good weekend. We took the kids to the mall and they both got their haircuts. It was Logan's first by someone other than me. Can I say it looks so much better than when I pretend I know how to cut hair. Afterwards we went and saw Santa. Seems a little early to me, but at leas we didn't have a line to wait in. Autumn said no, but she did sit on his lap with Logan and we got a cute picture. She was much better than last year. Last year at daycare when Santa came through the door she turned around crying and ran the other way and dove under the table and wouldn't come out. Logan just studied him and tried to pull his beard. She told him she wanted choo-choo's with tracks for Christmas. I still want to get some professional pictures done if I can find the time.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It's my Friday! On the downside Logan has a runny nose and I feel like I am getting sick. UGH! I wish we could stay healthy for 3 months in a row. It would be heaven. Logan and Autumn got into a fight at daycare yesterday. Autumn nailed Logan with a book in the back of the head. After he was done crying he got up and pushed her down, so then she started crying. Oh, the fun. I wonder if they will always fight. I just have to laugh at some of the things they fight about. It is so comical. It is finally cold outside. That means it will probably snow soon. Not much planned for this weekend unless I take the kids to the outlets for some taste testing at Harry & Davids. Yummy! I'll have to look at the weather to see what it will be like. I'm hungry, time to go eat.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Logan woke up with a full blown cold on Friday morning. He was grumpy to say the least. He had his speech therapist here too and he wasn't really responsive. Yesterday morning he woke up covered in puke and when I got him out of his crib he screamed for 15 minutes. Not until I removed myself from the room did he calm down. He seemed to be wheezing, so this morning I gave him a nebulizer treatment. Last Sunday at the grocery store Autumn lost her all time favorite blue bug. Dh and I both searched the store and I called later but no blue bug. So I did a search and found one at KB toys. I asked her if she wanted a new one and showed it to her. She said yes. I said I would get it for her. So yesterday morning she wakes up and says we have to go to the store to get a new blue bug. I said honey mommy ordered it and it will come in the mail. She said lets take a walk, meaning lets go get the mail. LOL! Hopefully it will come next week. Last night we were laying in her bed and she said Santa is going to sneak into her room when she is sleeping and leave her a blue bug. I guess she's given up on mommy.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Guess what we found at the grocery store today? BLUE BUG!!!! Wohoo! We decided to check at the customer service desk before we left as we were waiting for someone to come up I looked and there was blue bug tacked to the wall with a note on him. The lady came over and Autumn said my blue bug. The lady gave it to her and she was so happy. She said she was happy bug found it back to her owner. She now told me she doesn't need a new bug because she has her old bug. LOL!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Why must I always be sick? It never seem to fail. I start to feel better than bam here I go again. It always has to do with my sinuses. I need to buy stock in sudafed and mucinex. Well it's Tuesday, my last of work for the week. Smile Tomorrow the kids go to daycare so I can go shopping by MYSELF! I will actually be able to browse the stores instead of get in and get out before someone gets too restless. I can't believe it will be time to put up our Christmas decorations soon. It seems like this month was so short or maybe it's my imagination.

Logan has not been sleeping lately. I have no clue why. I don't know if it's because he is sick or what. He isn't unhappy or grumpy just won't sleep. I don't know if he ever fell asleep last night before I heard him at 1:30. I closed our door and then I hear him again at 3:20. I go in and he starts laughing at me. So I tuck him back in and say goodnight. So of cours at 6 he doesn't want to get up. Ms.M said at daycare that he has not been going down like he has been. She had to put him back on his mat twice yesterday and watch him until he fell asleep then today she had to sit beside him. Maybe he's teething???

Can't wait until tomorrow!!! Off to give the kids a bath since Logan thinks peanut butter is mouse.:)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I woke up on Wednesday feeling like that darn mack truck had come and run me over again. I was not going to let it stop me. I popped some sudafed and got everyone ready. We get on the highway to go to daycare and we come to a stop. Great! Turn the radio up and there is a car-b-que 2 miles ahead and the road is shut down. We go through a box of fruit snacks and finally we get moving. I drop them off and by this time I am feeling human again. So the fun begins. I hit Walmart first to get the rat race out of the way. By the time I left it was a zoo. Then I went to Borders, ToyRUs, Target, Kohl's, Macy's, Old Navy, Bath and Body Works and then to the outlets where dh met me while I ate lunch. Then we parted ways and I went to Stride Rite, Gymobree, Baby Gap and Gap. Back in the car to go back to ToysRUs and Sams. By this time it was close to 4 and time to pick up the kids. But it was a very successful trip and I just have a few misc. items to get and Christmas shopping is done!!!!
Thursday we stayed home and I cooked dinner. I really didn't feel like driving two hours with the kids to my Aunts where the whole family was. Mom usually has it at her house, but my Uncle from NJ pleaded with her to come. So it was quiet. Friday I took down all the fall decor and exchanged it with Christmas decor. Still have to put the tree up. Mom and I went to the country Walmart since I knew it wouldn't be as crowded. We got some DVD's, diapers and some lighted deer to put in the yard. Autumn picked out a line of lighted penguins to put my the walkway. The whole time we were there Logan kept saying uh-oh as loud as he could. I could always find Mom and him but just listening for Uh-Oh. Then I wrapped some gifts.
Saturday dh's Mom stopped by on her way home to Ohio. She bought each of the kids a pound puppy and gave them $50 each for Christmas. I think I will get them a table and chair set that we can do crafts and such at. Logan woke up with a high temp yesterday. Gave him some tylenol and then he was ok. Put him down for a nap and then I woke him up at 2 to go to a birthday party for one of the kids for daycare at Chuckie Cheese. Boy is that place insane. The kids there were rude, bossy and pushy. DH told several kids to get lost as they were trying to push poor Autumn out of the way. She sat down with the rest of the kids to eat while dh and I had Logan. Dh looked at me and said he was going to get teary eyed as his little girl was growing up. LOL! So finally I want to leave. I had to chase Logan down as he didn't want to leave and then I told Autumn we had to go and she started bawling. She said she wanted to stay and play with Danielle(daycare's daughter). I felt so bad as she was having so much fun and she had never been to a place like that.
So I am waiting for everyone to wake up and to see how Logan is. I hope he isn't getting and ear infection.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

The kids are getting ready to drive me into the looney bin. Autumn has been unusally difficult lately. She got into trouble twice last week for saying "dammit". I had the talk with her and told her it was not a nice word and to say darn or gosh instead. Saturday I was taking a shower and Logan got my water of the nightstand and dumped it on the carpet. I don't know what dh said, but A comes into the bathroom and said "mommy, daddy said oh dammit again", my reply "tell daddy he is not allowed to say it." A's reply " Daddy you are not allowed to say oh dammit, it's very bad". LOL! Well she said it again Sunday when I told her to go get a diaper for bedtime. So I had the talk again. Last night she got into trouble when I walked into her bedroom and she is sitting on top of her kitchen. WTH! What made her think that was ok. She bawled her eyes out when I told her to go to bed and think about why it was not ok.
This morning we had a disagreement because she wanted to wear pj's to daycare again. Yesterday was pj day. She cried about that. And then of course mommy put the wrong shoes on and she had a meltdown over that. In the interim of all this Logan did not want to wake up and is sreaming like no tomorrow. We all get calmed down and get in the car. All is fine for 5 minutes when L starts fighting his carseat and screaming. It was such a nice wonderful 35 minute commute this morning. I just need a breather to re-group. I feel so disorganized right now it's not even funny. They go to mom's Friday night and I will pick them up on Sunday morning. I have my office Christmas party on Saturday night. It will be a nice break.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I was looking forward to not having the kids for two nights, but you know what? I miss them like crazy. I swear I hear them. Yesterday morning mom called while I was in the shower. DH said she thought A had a ear infection. So I call her back and she said A said her left ear hurt and she had been very sensitive. So I go on over and A is just pitiful. She has the pet lip and tears pooling in her eyes and says "mommy I'm sick, I need medicine". I said "ok you want mommy to take you and make you feel better?" A said "yes, mommy". So I call the docs and get an appt for an hour out since that is how long it takes us to get there. On the way there she said I don't want to go to the doctor he hurts me(referring to her flu shot she got) I just need medicine. So we get there and go back to the room and she wants me to hold her and she falls asleep. The doc walks in and she wakes up and says me left ear hurts and I just need some medicine. Sure enough she was at the beginning stages of an ear infection and is on antibiotics. Poor thing, I felt so bad for her. I just wanted to hold her for the rest of the day. So we get everything and go back to g-mom's since I had a party to go to.
We had a nice dinner at Dutch's. I walked out of their stuffed. You could have stuck a fork in me. I even passed on the yummy desserts as I was afraid to stick anything else in me for fear of exploding.
It's sleeting this morning. I don't mind winter just the nasty weather that can happen. Hard to believe it is the 2nd of Dec and only 23 days to go to Christmas. I think I will wait to put their presents under the tree for I fear Mr. Logan will open them. He was taking all the bows and ornaments off the tree last week and was just so proud of himself.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I wonder if it ever really sinks in that you are a "mom". I sometimes still can't believe it and wouldn't change a thing. They are my sunshine. I sometimes sit and watch them play and think my god this two kids are mine that I love with everything that I am. Then I get all mushy and sentimental with them. I looked back a the photo album's over the past couple years and my how they have changed. I sometimes think what about another, but it lasts a very short time. I have my hands full with two and two is just fine.

I just called in to work and said I will not be in. Logan did not go to sleep until 4 this morning. Something is going on so I need to call the doctors when they open up to see if I can get him in today. I just want to make sure his ears are clear because of his hearing loss. Having an ear infection will lower his hearing level. So if he doesn I need to nip it in the bud. A has an ear infection, another child at dc has an ear infection and another child was tested for strep. I hate this time of year when it seems someone at dc is always sick. And why do parents send there kids to dc if they know they are sick. I will send my kids if they have a clear runny nose but that is it. If it is green, they have a fever or are just really grumpy and not themselves they are not going. My job isn't that important.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Poor little man ended up having an ear infection in his right ear. 5 out of 8 kids at daycare have ear infections. Wednesday we ended up getting 5 inches of snow. It's not fun commuting in bad weather with two kids. The kids enjoyed playing in the snow at dc Wed and Thurs until I showed up. Then they started crying because they were cold and wanted me to make them warm. Logan is in a much better mood now that his ear is clearing up. But his has been Mr.Sneaky. I let the kids have 3 crayons each to color on Thurs night while I was cleaning. I turn around to see what was going on and here he is coloring on one of my newly painted walls. He was so proud of himself and started clapping. How can you get mad at that? Thank god for magic erasers. Then yesterday I thought he was in his room playing and something didn't sound right. I check his room, A's room and my room and he was not in there. So I check the dark bathroom. Sure enough there he is. He had poured a whole bottle of shampoo all over his head and it had pooled on the floor. He started licking it and then was blowing bubbles. I just had to laugh, but let me tell you shampoo is not easy to clean up.
He had his therapy yesterday with Diane and Diane. He did really well and was very silly. He loves signing gorilla and lion. He thinks it is hillarious. He has met one of his goals which was to sign 15 words in 6 months which he has done in 1.5 months. Now we just need to get the 15 words. I'm so proud of my little man.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Been awhile since I have made an entry. Why do the holiday seasons have to be so busy? Two more days and it will be done and over with. Don't get me wrong, I love the season but it seems much longer this year. I can't wait until Christmas morning. For dh and the kids. He will be surprised with what I got him. I got my gifts early. I got a foot massager, neck massager and my Nikon d40 so I am happy. DH is out shopping right now for something else for me. I told him I dont' need anything since I got my camera I had wanted. The kids had a good week at daycare. They made me these adorable picture frames and Ms.M took their pictures and put in them. Monday I took cupcakes in for them and then on Thursday was their gift exchange and Santa dropped off some gifts at the end of nap time. :)All the kids said they heard his bells. You have to love the innocence. A wanted to know how Santa would get in our house since we don't have a chimney.:) I never thought about that at 3. I told her we will leave the door open for him. She was content with that answer. We're going to make Grandmom some gifts when we get up from nap today.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Christmas is finally over and dd is waiting for Christmas again.:) I told her she had a ways to go before Santa was ready again. Christmas Eve we drove 2 hours to dh's dads house just north of D.C. The kids each got a tricycle and a lot of other stuff. Good thing we took the Suburban. We got home around 11 and then Santa had to do his work. I guess I got to bed around 1. I was up at 6:30 waiting for everyone to get up. They got up an hour later. It took us over an hour to open presents because the kids didn't want to. They wanted to play with the train table and Thomas train set that Santa had left. Boy did I ever go overboard this year. The biggest hit was the train table and Thomas tent. It sucked we had to go to work the next day. I was exhausted and needed a breather. New Years Eve I was in bed at the normally scheduled time. I can't remember the last one I've watched.

Besides that not much has been going on, except for last night. I was taking the kids downstairs into our unfinished basement and told them to sit on the steps so we could scoot down. Logans foot got stuck as he was scooting to the next step and his forward momentum and the foot stuck was not a good combo as he ended up falling all the way down the stairs. I screamed bloody murder (dh said he never heard anything like it and the hairs stood up on the back of his neck.) and ran after him. When he landed he looked at me then started screaming. Once I held him he calmed down. DH had scooped dd up as she was coming down with mommy. I went up stairs and put him down to check him out and he graps his butt and says "owwww". Then he wanted to go back down. Took awhile for my heart to calm down and to stop shaking. Nothing I ever want to experience again. I'm resisting the urge to go wake him up just to make sure he is ok.

We are getting ready to put down laminate floor in L's room. We have carpet right now and it always get so dirty plus with the radiant heat the heat has to work that much more back there. Can't wait until it is done then I will decorate it for his big boy room and hopefully get his big boy bed.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

We put down the laminate floor in Logan's room two weeks ago and I love it. Last weekend I painted his room. It is now three colors. The bottom color is a navy blue, then a green and a cream color on top. It's now my favorite room. I still need to put up curtains (not sure what color yet) and hang everything on the walls. I bought a little tikes car toddler bed off of ebay to see if he will sleep better in that then his crib before we go get his twin bed. So we will see how that goes. I pick it up on Saturday.
He had his 6 month hearing test today. It went well. He had wax in his ears which he never does,so we had to go next door and have one of the doc's remove it. Then he had good ear pressure on both ears (YAY! If it is negative it means it is likely he will get an ear infection). Off to the booth we went. He kept pulling out the ear pieces so I had to pretty much hold him down and he was fighting me. At this time I smelled a poopy. Nothing like being confined in the tight confined room with the smell of a poopy diaper. We go into the office and she said he is maintaining his consistency in his tests. He has a higher loss of earing in higher pitch sounds. So we get the ear mold impressions going, but one didn't set and we had to do it again. But before we did I needed to change him. We go to the bathroom and the diaper bag always stays in the car and it never dawned on me but the wipes were frozen. So I have one hand hold his legs while I put a foot on the wipes package to try and pull them out. Poor guy had a fright when those cold things hit him. From him sitting on my legs in the booth I smelled like poopy too. UGH! So we go back to the office and get the other ear mold done. She had to keep one hearing aid to send it out for it be repaired since the battery door was broken. It should be back by Monday. The other one might have to be repaired too since that was the one he always took out and chewed on and the case is cracked but still works. The warranty is up in 2 months so I rather it be taken car of now. She said she will probably adjust the levels since it has never been done and he got them when he was 4 months old.
I guess I am doing ok. I feel completely off balance and frazzled this week. Don’t know what is going on. I wish I had more time to spend with Logan. When we are home he wants to follow Autumn around all the time or wants nothing to do with me. I want my baby to talk, I want him to be able to tell me what he wants, I want him to be able to tell me what is wrong, I want to hear “I love you mommy”. Is that so much to ask for? Then when I do get time to spend with him I feel guilty because Autumn needs time too. I feel like I have gypped her. I am so stressed I hopped on the treadmill last night to walk to see if that made me feel better and it didn't so I ran a bloody mile. I hate to run. I just hope I can get out of this funk.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Logan had his 3 month evaluation on Friday. We had icy weather so Ms.M and Ms.M were not able to make it. Ms.D wants to increase his words/acclimations and signs to 30. And to also work on his frustration some more. And to get him to say names instead of calling everyone "Mama" because he knows he will get a reaction. It has dramatically decreased which I am so thankful for. I need to work on him with 3D objects and asking him to hand me said one out of 3-4 to make sure he visually understands as well. I got to leave work early this morning. Ms.M was sick and not feeling better. She just called and has the flu with viral bronchitis. So needless to say daycare will be closed tomorrow and the kids will go to g-mom's. Then to top off my day i get an email from the rental company where I was going to book our vacation and the people decided not to rent this year. So back to square one as this was the house I was so set on for the past 2 months.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ms.M called last night. She sounded downright awful. I felt so bad for her. She asked if Ms.M was coming today and I said I didn't know and asked if she wanted me to call. She said yes. I told her to take the rest of the week off. No use trying to work when you have the flu and aren't up to par dealing with 8 kids. I'd rather her be healthy. I asked if she had spoken to the other mom's and she said I was the first because I am the nice one. I said you should call me last and get the nasty ones out of the way first then I can cheer you up:). Poor thing started crying. I asked her why she was crying and she said because your nice and you care. I said I wouldn't trust my kids to anyone and that she was one of the special people.
But you know what this just pissed me off. What the lady that will do anything under the sun for your child and teaches them so much and offers them so much love that she isn't allowed to get sick? My goodness the last time she was sick was last Feb for 2 days of the stomach bug. Having 8 kids invade your home on a daily basis with all the germs they pass around because the parents send their kids sick, because heaven forbid that their kids come before their job, and she actually gets sick this one time. Let them withdrawl their kids. She can replace them just as fast as you walk out the door. They just are not deserving of her. I'm off my rant now.
Went and picked up Logan's hearing aid today. It looks so pretty and new since they replaced the casing. Not that he will notice but atleast water can't get in as easily. Next week we go in for his new ear molds. I swear that is the only way I know the kid grows by how often I have to have new ones made.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It's been a little while since I've posted anything in my journal. It has been rather chaotic. I am home from work because both kids are sick. Just got back a little while ago. Autumn has a viral respitory infection and Logan has the same but he is once again cursed with a double ear infection. He had just gotten over one so it was not the news I wanted to hear. Logan is slowly chugging along on his speech. Gosh darn I try to be patient, but it is so dag gone frustrating. My little man tries so hard to talk and he will go off in his little story telling but I have absolutely no clue what he is saying. I believe there will come a day when we won't be able to keep him quiet.
Mom and I had a falling out last week. UGH! It's been 4-5 years since we've had such a blow up. She is an alcoholic. Need I say more. Autumn wanted to call yesterday and talk to g-mom, how could I say "no". She doesn't understand the situation yet. So I let her talk to her and then said good bye. My aunt was at her house and said she did not sleep Saturday night and was really upset and hurt. Well yeah, I said some very hurtful but true things to her. I just can't keep living with the negativity and walking on eggshells. Sure I can have a relationship with her but I want the above gone. Period end of story. I don't need to deal with that and having to phrase things certain ways so as not to set her off. She called a little while ago to see how A & L were. She said she can still come for Easter if I want her to. What was I suppose to say to that? No you can't come see your grandchildren have an Easter egg hunt. She is literally the only family I have that I talk to. G-dad is too busy with Gretchen and her family and I was never close with my uncles and aunts, plus they have more problems that I don't want to deal with. I feel weak for talking to her when I said I wouldn't but I don't know what to do.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so ready to scream right now! My kids are still sick. Logan has a deep chest congestion and ran a fever yesterday morning of 103. Makes no sense after having several doses of antibiotics. DH worked half a day yesterday so I could go to work and then when we sat down for dinner Autumn proceeds to tell me her throat hurts. So after dinner I looked at she has white dots all over the back of her throat. So I had her gargle salt water and look again and it's still there. So I call and left a message with the doctor and he called back. Dr.B called back, thank goodness. He is the one doctor I absolutely love. He was a neonatologist in another country and he was one of Logans doctors in the second NICU. He said it sounds like something is going on so I am sitting here this morning waiting for him to call me. He said he would call in a prescription for her. But I am ticked, I knew there was more than what the doc said on Monday, I know my kids. The poor girl keeps telling me "Mommy I don't feel me better yet". I just want my kids back to normal. Knock on wood I have not been cursed yet.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So while I am waiting, I want to post what words/signs Logan can do to keep track of his progress.
WORDS/APPROXIMATIONS
1. Bye No
2. Hi Please
3. Mama Yeah
4. Grandmom Help
5. Whoa Hop
6. Uh-oh Hello
7. Choo-Choo
8. Moo
9. Open
10. Ka-Ka(cracker)
11. Neigh
12. I Love You
13. All Done
14. Go

SIGNS I USE
1. Baby Book Sleep
2. Train Cracker Monkey
3. Car Dog Gorilla
4. Ball Cat Lion
5. Block Horse Duck
6. Shoes Pig Stop
7. Socks Frog Potty
8. Coat Cow More
9. Cookie Sheep Please
10. Milk Grapes Thank-you
11. Water Cereal Cheese
12. Drink Bath Help
13. Eat Tree Bunny/Rabbit
14. Banana Bird No
15. Apple Hat

SPONTANEOUS SIGNS
1. Baby Please
2. Car Help
3. Shoes Horse
4. Socks Bunny/Rabbit
5. Milk All Done
6. Water More
7. Apple
8. Dog
9. Cow
10. Cat

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Gosh darn, I started to write a post and it disappeared. It is snowing this morning, not one of my favorite weather scenarios but what are you gonna do. I would be so happy with 55 degrees and sunny. My little man is out to give me a full head of gray hair. Yesterday morning all was quiet in his room and that is never a good thing. I go in and he is sitting on top of a stool, But his stool is sitting on a toy bin that is on top of his lego table. I immediately get him down. DH asked if I got a pic of him. Yeah right, what was I suppose to do tell him not to move while I go grab the camera. Sure. Then I decided to lay down at nap time. A little while later I hear something going on. I assumed dh was home, but I decided to sneak out to check. Logan's door is opened, so I sneak down the hall and there he is standing on a chair he had pushed to the counter eating a cookie playing with the toaster oven. He had eaten the last 4 cookies and was so proud of himself. That is why I chastise dh for making sure the child lock is locked on the basement door. Off to boil or Easter eggs.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Logan's yearly evaluation was today. Logan is 30 months old, on gross motor skills he scored 36 months on the other side his speech and speech comphrension was that of a 10 month old. I am crushed. With all the work and constantly talking and working with him I was so hoping it would be a little better. Will post more later.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

It's been forever since I have posted in my journal. Logan keeps making progress which is always good. He had his 6 month hearing test yesterday. He is still consistent in his testing. His hearing is remaining the same and has not gotten worse which is always cause for a happy dance. We had to turn in one hearing aid since he tried to help me one day by opening the battery door and broke it. So we had been keeping it closed with scotch tape. He got fitted for new molds. Between being restrained in the booth and then having the impressions made he was in a bad mood. Nothing like going to the store and buying a new tractor toy to put him in a good mood. He lives for tractors and anything related.

I am on vacation this week since daycare is closed and I didn't want them going to mom's for the whole week. So it has been nice. We went and saw great-granddad and we all went to Sandy Point to go play in the bay. That was just a reminder how much I hate sand. If the beach didn't have sand I would be so happy. It gets in and on everything. Why do they make girls bathing suites with a slit in the crotch? All it is is a sand collector. It was a good test to see how our real beach vacation will be in September. They both loved it!

Ms.D comes this morning for Logan. See how that goes he hasn't seen her for a month now since she had training and was sick. I just don't like her and I feel I do more for him than she does. I can get a response out of him where she can't. Just 2 more months and he will get turned over to the school system. I'm looking forward to it as I have not been happy lately with the speech therapist or the DT. Ms.M doesn't like the DT that goes to daycare.

Time to go get dd dressed. Hopefully I will be better at keeping this updated.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Logan did well with Ms.D. She brought in her bag of stuff but she never opened it up since we were playing with play-doh when she showed up. At the end she said "Shannon Have I ever told you what a wonderful job you do with him?" My response was I do what I have to do. I guess they see it alot where parents don't want to take the time.

When I showed up at daycare yesterday, Ms.M said Autumn shared some vocabulary with me today. Uh-oh. She said another child went and took his clothes off for water day and instead of putting on his swim trunks he came back into the daycare room buck naked to put his clothes in his cubby. Ms.A said "You have a penis" and then turned to another boy and asked if he had a penis too? I guess she thought only daddy and Logan had them. LOL! She has been killing us at night. She wakes up at 2 A.M. crying. It has happened maybe 4-5 times in the past week. I don't know what the heck is going on. She never really tells me what is wrong. She sleeps with a night light on and a table lamp because she doesn't like the dark. I don't know if she is having bad dreams or what but I hope this phase passes.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Logan had to go to the ear doctor this morning to get his ears cleaned out. Last week his audiologist said he had a lot of wax. Sure enough he had a ton. Doc said that may be why his left ear was giving him feedback from time to time. He was so good. He had to lay flat in a chair with the nurse turning his head to the side and I was all prepared for an escape. It amazes we what situations he is good in. I guess he's so use to doctors and the prodding. He did get upset because his sister was holding his ear (hearing aid). Then when I put it back in his left ear he pulled on his right and said ear. He's been so upset that he hasn't had his right one. Peg called yesterday so we swung by after and picked it up so now he is one happy camper to have both ears. Hopefully next week his new ear molds will come in and we can get fitted for those and she will adjust his hearing aids as well.

He has his next evaluation on August 22nd. I hate his evaluations. It always gets me down. But they score him on stupid things. Like can he wash his hands himself. Well yes and no. At Ms. M's he can turn the knobs but at home he can't reach because the sink is too deep. Can he pump the soap? yes and no. He can if it is at elbow level but not above. I get frustrated because I am focusing on his speech versus can he put on a jacket. Just like I have been working on him identifying body parts (head, nose, eye, ear, hand, fingers, foot, belly, mouth and chin) and Ms. D said he should also know elbow and ankle. WTF? Thanks for telling me now, isn't it worth noting he knows the above. Why shouldn't arm and leg be more critical than elbow and ankle? Sometimes I just don't get it. Am I not doing enough with him? This is when I feel like I have failed him.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Not too much of an exciting weekend. On Friday we went and turned in our scrap cans. I still can't believe they are paying $.80/lb. Then we went to the outlets and exchanged dd's shoes for another pair of funky ones and went grocery shopping. Saturday morning I got up and went outside to drink my coffee and read my book. The dogs had started barking but I paid them no mind. I was so engrossed in my book I looked up for split second and saw this big black dog. Turned back to my book and realized that was not a dog but a bear. I sat and watched him watch me. I guess we were 20-30 ft away from each other. I was so wishing I had my camera beside me. He got skittish and went accross the street into the woods and I ran for my camera. Too bad by the time I came back out he was gone. We haven't gone a summer without seeing a bear yet. I was just shocked to see one at a little past 7 in the morning. Had the dogs not barked I sure as heck would not have noticed. Nothing like seeing a bear to get your adrenaline going, definately better than coffee.