Well I had a shoddy weekend. There's just so little that can be done in this weather! I managed to get Leia to the park on both Sat & Sun though which was something. This kid used to be the only kid I'd ever known who was petrified of the swings haha. I'd sit her in it and she'd scream until I took her off.... what the hell?? So DBF took her last weekend and managed to get her on it :eek: and she LOVED it! :eek: So now when we go to the park she will go on nothing BUT the swing LOL! I honestly don't know how she isn't sick.
On both Sat and Sun night I watched the X Factor. NEVER again!!! My favourite, Paije was booted off *sniffle* I actually cried.... more because he'd failed to see out the awful Wagner and Mary :bigangry: He was SO much better than them.
Anyway, today I have read yet ANOTHER horrendous story. 11 month odl stabbed to death :( :( :( :( WTF seriously is wrong with these people???!!!! Her mother has been arrested on suspicion of her murder..... poor poor poor little mite :( :( :( I'm seriously so saddened by this. HOW CAN WE MAKE A CHANGE???
Was off work with DD last week, due to her molars coming through. There were a few times I thought about taking her to hospital, due to her temp but I knew they'd just tell me to do what I already WAS doing. Would have been a wasted trip, sad but true.
Sunday, we got snowed in and nursery was shut on Monday so that was another day off work. Not good. Although we did have a lot of fun playing in the snow :)
I was really worried about DD last week because she didn't eat a thing. She wanted to, but it was just too painful for her! I didn't know what to do, so I just refrained from eating in front of her, poor little mite. She's tiny enough as it is and I'm sure she's lost more weight.
I had a bit of a blow out with my Mother this moring too, because she's constantly badgering me about how little DD eats. I wouldn't mind, but she sees what I have to go through to try and make her eat with us so to make me feel bad about it made me lose my temper. What am I supposed to do? Restrain her and force feed?? I'm sure that's child cruelty! It's not like she doesn't eat at ALL, she just eats small and often and mainly fruit, yoghurts and toast. Still, that's better than nothing.
Talking of child cruelty, I'm seriously concerned about what our world is turning into!
Yesterday and today, I have read 3 stories of beautiful babies being murdered by those who are supposed to love them. Firstly, a Dad stabs his gf over 30 times and his 10 month old daughter in the head, killing them both. A grandmother in the US, throws her 2 and a half yr old Gdaughter off a 5ft walkway bridge at a shopping mall, killing her. Lastly, a man kills his GFs 15 month old son after months of videoing the childs torture since the summer on his mobile phone, WTF?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the flaming hell can ANYone, sane or insane hurt an innocent child???? I just don't get it. These children are dying all the time, because of people who are meant to protect them. I can't cope with it anymore!!!
DD is finally returning to her normal self, no whinging and all smiles and mischief :) She has a urinary infection and has been on antibiotics since Tues which have worked wonders already. Due to a family history of kidney reflux however, she has been referred to be checked out. I would rather know now than god forbid something happen years down the line.
Fell out with my Mum again last night. She came home in a horrible mood and so me, DBF and Leia went upto my room. She decided to come up, burst in and start shouting the odds which to me, is so very juvenile. She can't just talk to me, she will let whatever it is bothering her, build up and then BANG! I'm bored of it now and too old to be putting up with it. Like I told her, I'm not 12 anymore. If she wants to sort something out, be an adult and talk about it.
I've decided that I am going to make more of an effort with my Dad's side of the family. I am past caring if it upsets my Mum, at the end of the day they're my family and I need them. I'm going to buy all the kids a little something for Christmas and turn up at their houses.... they'll get a shock lol. I don't Leia missing out on spending time with her big cousins, when I know they love her too bits.
I am counting down the days until I can move out. All this arguing is making Christmas sh*t already.
It's funny you know, I must come across as a right miserable tw*t. I am really not though, if you knew me IRL, I am the life and soul of a party, I am always singing and laughing in work. Maybe it's because I don't let people IRL know exactly how I feel, that I come on here and all my misery floods out. I need to stop putting morbid sh*t on faceache too..... people will think I am a depressing person.
I am completely sick of drama. I think I have mentioned it in a previous entry about my fellas friend texting my best friend. Well it all came out and his GF was obviously p*ssed off. Anyway, last week she found another text on his phone to her and he'd gone out and come home at 7am, which got her thinking all sorts. My friend had been at her friends house which is directly opposite and so she'd thought he'd been there. I asked my best friend and she went nuts at me. I personally think that if you have something to hide, you're going to be defencesive, where as normally she'd have laughed and told me to get a grip. Anyway, she decided to call DBFs best friend which then caused sh*t between him and his GF :( Then, DBF starts texting me really nasty things.
It just winds me up, they were in the wrong all a long, NOT ME. Yet because they are angry it's come out, they're blaming me. Turning it around basically like all guilty parties do. I was in tears last night because all I have done is try and be there for his GF, whilst trying not to fall out with any of them. Is it my fault she calls me at stupid o'clock to tell me he's not come home after a night out? Or that she's found msgs on his phone? NO, it's his fault for acting like a complete N*BHEAD! She has no other friends over here and I feel like I can't turn my back on her. I am genuinely a caring person - why is this such a bad trait?
My gorgeous DD, she knew I was upset... the conversation went like this....
Leia: Are you sad Mummy?
Me: Yes (sad face)
Leia: Do you want your daddy?
Me: I do
Leia: Awwwwe it's ok, he'll be here soon.
(big cuddles and kisses)
It breaks my heart. I hate her seeing me sad and I try my hardest to hide it from her but she isn't stupid. She ended up sleeping in bed with me last night because she just wouldn't settle. I wonder if it's because she wanted to 'be there' for me? Cute to think it is :)
I have finished things with DBF (yet again) because I am completely fed up with how he speaks to me. The msgs he sent me last night were awful and I just can't believe someone who is meant to love me would make me feel so bad. I need to stop feeling sorry for him, he's brought this all on himself. His own mother is saying she won't speak to him ever again because he just has no respect for her or anyone for that matter. He is one selfish pr*ck! It's time to reeeeeeally concentrate on myself and my gorgeous girl.
This feels f*cking sh*t seeing as it's like 1 week from Christmas :(
Well, me and DBF are still together :help1:
I can't help but keep trying with him, because, I don't want a broken family. I want to have more babies with him and I want to be with HIM. I must be mad. He is completely useless when it comes to money, which doesn't help me because I am the same. We have been through some sh*t in the last 4 years and yes, he has treated me badly in the past. That's not the problem now though, it's his selfishness that drives me barmy. I won't go into detail because I think I bash him too much as it is LOL. In fact, I think I make him out worse than he is which makes me people dislike him and that's not fair. I'm sure that I am not the perfect girlfriend :brucelee:
It snowed here loads on Fri/Sat so we spent the weekend playing in it like big kids haha. We ended up walking to our local pub and had lunch and some drinks which was nice, not having to worry about driving. The same was had on Sunday as it was my sisters birthday so all in all was a nice, relaxed weekend.
DBF is off now until Jan 4th so I have sent him Christmas shopping. Oh.dear.god HA! Hopefully he does good :)
I'm in a gloomy place today.
Not really sure what it is but I've just not felt it this year. I'm normally so excited about Christmas :( I loved watching Leia open her presents and get excited that Father Christmas ate his mince pie. That's it though. Didn't really enjoy the rest of the day. In fact, I couldn't wait until everybody left so that I could chill out and watch rubbish on the TV. It could be because I'm not in my own place, or the fact that I am broke arse.... who knows!
I hate this time of year sometimes too. It makes you think of things that you wouldn't normally.
I can't believe how sh*t my family and friend situation is.
I never see my Dad's side of the family. It really upsets me because I love them all too bits and when I was younger, we were all very close. Now though, I feel like they just don't care. I never get invited to anything.....
I don't invite them because of my Mum, but what is their excuse?
As for my friends, well, I heard off 3 of them over Christmas and that was only because I text them. It's so sad, when you're in school you think your friends will always be around and there to experience life with you. In all reality, it's just not like that. When you leave and get jobs, you make new friends and life goes on. I miss my friends from way back when :(
Oh My God-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, what is the point in family???? They do nothing but put you down and expect so much more than you can give off you.
My Mum, she is driving me mental. I'm sure you're all thinking 'how can she bash her own Mum like that?!' Well, pretty easily actually.
Ok, so she has tried to help me by letting me move back home. Fair enough, but OMG, the woman is NEVER happy!!
DBF and I have paid her back the money we owe her, we pay our way and we feed ourselves but it still isn't good enough. She just hates ANYONE being in her home. Oh, but apart from her blue eyed boy. He'd be welcome with open arms. He doesn't even need to take his shoes off when he visits. Everyone else?! Of course or you get a gob full.
I need to win the lottery!
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!
I have too much to write but not enough time as in work. I will be back to finish up later.
Sorry about that folks, I was absolutely raging when I posted yesterday and I had SO much I wanted to say but couldn't because I was in work.
I had just got off the phone to my auntie who I was telling that come March (at the latest) I am hoping to move out of my mum's and get my own place. She was all chuffed for me, until she realised that I meant I would be renting again. "You're going back to square one.... it's a waste of money" etc etc.
What the hell am I meant to do?! I can't afford to buy, first time buyers allocate to you so it's not like I can just decide I want one of their houses. I'm trying to get a commissioners house but you practically have to be homeless before they give you one. It's a bloody nightmare. The last thing I want to do is rent but I have to. EVERYone rents!
Then I got home and my Mum told me that my brother and SIL have just bought a bungalow (GREAT!) and of course, I cried LOL. When the hell will my luck change????
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.... I am freaking out and feel sick.
Last night I was in bed watching TV, and I don't know but i got this really uncomfortable feeling in my nether region. I didn't really think much of it until I went to the toilet and decided to investigate myself.
The insdie of my vagine is very swollen and I have found a very big and hard lump. It's not painful but OMG it feels so strange it makes me feel sick touching it.
I am so worried. I have a Doc appt later on today and I am petrified it's something bad :(
I F*CKING KNEW IT!!!
My best mate and my other friends BF are AT IT!!!!!
Don't know what to doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.