Well we went on our first camping trip this weekend and it was brilliant! Leia loved being outdoors and playing with all the kids. We had fun on the beach, rumming away from the waves and Leia is obsessed with throwing stones into the sea lol. She had a blast. On Sat night we went back down to the beach and built a fire and told ghost stories haha. Yesterday we packed up all our tents and the kids played in the park for a while. Leia slept in her pram and when she woke she was asking to go home so we decided to leave.
All in all it was one of the best weekends ever.
On the down side, my sister is such a B*TCH!!
She's one gobby cow and I don't know. I used to think it was funny but as I'm getting older it's starting to piss me off. She's 37 in Dec for goodness sake and she needs to grow up. We were on the phone on Sat and it was raining so we were hmmming and harrring about going camping. The convo was going fine and then she's like 'Well, I'll just say I'm going because nto having you sh*t stirring to Mum like u always do' I was like WTF? The I hung up on her. Nothing else was said, we acted normal when we went but then just before we were gonna come home, she told me I need to know when to keep my mouth shut. Ehhhhh is she talking abotu herself???? This has all stemmed from the fact that I saw my friends BF kissing another woman who so happened to be my sisters friend and she is married!! My sister said to me that if it came back to her friend and ruined their marriage then she'd be p*ssed off with me. Sorry but I'm not the one who's cheating, she should've thought of that before she kissed someone else! URRRRGH!!! I just can't be doing with her. She's so quick to put me down and make me feel horrid I just don't know if I want to be around her anymore.
I need to win the lotto. That way I could get away from everyone because I seriously can't stand my family atm.
I just realised I haven't checked my lottery tickets. I could be sitting on a fortune here and not know it!!! HA.
A lot has happened since the last update from me. My SIL gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 28/7 and called her Olivia Rose She is SO pretty and such a good baby during the day. Apparently she comes to life at night though haha. Think my brother and SIL have been given a bit of a shock TBH, not realising exactly how tiring newborns can be.
Dbf, leia and I had a lovely day yesterday. We went to the beach (Leia is OBSESSED and loves chucking stones in the sea haha) and brought her Peppa Pig bike with us. It has like a basket on the back and so we filled that with stones so she could throw them in the water. Then we built sandcastles and DBF decided to take her in the sea. She flaming loved it, laughing her little head off Then I made us a chicken roast dinner which was scrummy.
I started potty training and Friday was her forst day in knickers. She did GREAT, not one accident! So so proud. She was brilliant over the weekend too, however I did put a nappy on her when we were at the beach as there are no toilets near by. I will try by best next weekend not to.
So my ex boyfs ex girlfriend added me on facebook the other day. I wondered why as her and I didn't exactly get on, but I accepted anyway just to be nosey lol. I commented on a status of hers and it didn't take long before she started asking me questions about him! I had nothing to say though as I hardly see him. I just get told by his family members what's going on in his life. It's a shame really, he's 26 and was engaged to a 30 odd year old woman. It ended though, not surprised but I would like to see him settle down. He never treated me right when we were together but we were both young so I've let it go. I remember the weekend I met current DBF, we were out and my ex was in the same club. He came up and asked to talk to me and was saying he didn't want us to fall out etc. I was said ok but asked him to let me get on with my night. Then he text me saying he still loved me and all that. He was with this girl who added me on FB at the time!!! Him all over really. Thing is, I can't stop thinking about him and I'm even dreaming about him! We'll be in the same room or in the same group of people and we just keep staring at each other but not saying anything. It is so weird.
I wish I could meet up with him for a chat and stuff but DBF would go nuts, and I would if it was the other way round so I guess it'll never happen.
Oh I forgot to say that after me and DBF visited my new niece, he said he was up for having another baby!!!! I am SOOOOO chuffing excited about this..... I still have that baby boom going on and with all the newborns around me it's getting so hard to not just give in now. I still have to wait a while longer, until we're settled in our own place and we know we can afford childcare etc. Such a good feeling though, knowing I will be planning for a baby in the not so distant future
Haha I re-read my posts from yesterday, going on about my ex and then saying I was happy DBF wants another baby. I just want to make it clear that I don't have any feelings whatsoever for my ex, I just sometimes wonder what he's upto and would like a catch up with him. Like I said, we were both young..... I was 19 when we got together and I'm now coming upto 26, so yea, it was a while ago now.
I got a text off my Dad last night, asking how we all were and that he felt like he'd not seen us for ages (yea well it's been a month Dad!). He said something like 'looks like you have plans again this weekend and I have friends over so I will catch up soon'. The funny thing is, he never texts to see us until he gathers from facebook that we have plans. That way he makes himself feel better for NOT BOTHERING! Anyway, I never replied as I was grocery shopping and then I wake up to a message about my phone working. Basically he was being a funny f*cker because I never replied.
So now we're arguing over text and do you know what he's just said.....
None of you give a monkeys about me anyway and I am going away soon so if I don't see you before I will speak to you when I get back.
Well thank you very f*cking much DAD! That is how much he cares....
My reply started off ok but then I got mad. Told him to have a nice holiday with his new family and that I am very upset that he plays with his new womans 6yr old all the time but never bothers taking Leia out and he is all she ever goes on about!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhh!!! I was stressing the other day about if I got her christened and who would and wouldn't come because everyone has fallen out with one another but I bet my Dad wouldn't even bother his arse!!!
Ok, now I'm crying and I just want to nut somebody. Today is gonna be a shocker.
Well, I survived yesterday but the day ended with me having a pounding headache. I decided to get an early night so TV was off for 10pm (early for me!) and I think I went straight to sleep. However, I kept waking up with my head hurting
I woke up this morning and it was 10x worse. I had to bend down to help Leia on the toilet and I thought my head just might explode.... now I feel sick
I've dosed myself up on nurofen which has helped a little but I just want my bed.
My headache lasted for ages. I went to bed that night and I woke up with it. Not good. Anyway I was obviously ok as I managed to go camping, yet again. It was very windy but the weather soon calmed down and we were all having a lovely time. Then, my friends ex boyf and his friend decided to come and see us which wasn't great as they were hammered and Johnny who is the friend, he was being very vulgar around the kids. This upset my Mum and her friedn Allyson, although I must say it was Allyson who was whinging the most and I think it took a toll on my Mum and she felt like she had to say something if you know what I mean? Anyway, once they were in bed all was fine, until I needed the toilet. We had to walk up a steep grassy embankment which was wet from dew and on the way back, I thought I was being safe going down sideways but my foot slipped and the other rolled the ankle! OUCH!!! I think I screamed and cried all at the same time and I was panicking about how I was going to get my car home the next day. It was ok in the morning, although as first I couldn't stand up and was desperate for the loo so had to wee in Leia's potty LOL!! Sounds funny now but I was crying at the time haha. I managed to cope with it until Monday when I had to go to A&E where they told me it was a bad sprain. They gave me meds but soon stopped taking them as made me feel pukey blah. Then at about 3pm on the Monday I got a migraine. OMG, only for the fact I've had it once before just after having Leia I didn't panic, otherwise I would've thought it was a stroke! My tongue and lips went numb and tingly, then it went into my right cheek and down my right arm. It's a horrible feeling but as quick as it comes on, it goes again. I came into work on Tuesday to be told if I have another day off in the next year (WTF??) I'll be put on an attendance improvement plan. JOKE! I've only been off twice in the last 3 months and that was with Leia..... Anywayssssss...... so on Tuesday night I was completely pooped. TBH, I think I was a little run down from lack of sleep, arguing with my Mum and work and so I was asleep by 8pm and slept all the way through. Still felt like crap when I woke up Wednesday but I got through.
Now we're planning another camping trip at the end of August, but after last time DBF isn't really up for it. My sister is saying if we don't go she won't be either. Great. Another reason for my Mum to have a go at us. My Dad also text me Monday to say a lawyers letter will be sent to my Mum and that she will probably go nuts about it. Not looking forward to that at all because when she is upset/angry she ALWAYS takes it out on me.
That's what I have to keep telling myself these days. The sh*t that I get in work is unbelievable and I have to stop myself from blowing up. Why is it that some people who are above you (grade wise) think they have the right to talk to you like you're nothing? It shouldn't matter whether you're a bank manager or someone living on the street, you should treat people the same.... talk to them like the person they are. I can't cope with it. If I could, I would walk out right now.
I've been having a rough couple of weeks, all high and mighty one day and all sobby and pitiful the next. Very tiring. I just want to be happy, ALL the time. Is that too much to ask?
I'm always told that I keep things to myself and should share what's going on in my head. It doesn't work though, I have tried with my Mum but she proceeds to tell me her problems are worse. I hate that. Can't someone just listen to me for a change??
I've looked at my bank account and I have about £300 less than what I need to pay out. Will I ever get back on track???? The plan was that my monthly pay would clear what I was OD and pay my bills and then DBFs wage could be taken out of the account so that we wouldn't use the bank card and accidently go overdrawn. Well, like I said, I'm down £300 already which sucks balls.
I'm so tired of this now. The worry is making me sick and miserable. I wanted to take Leia to see Peppa Pig, her all time fave kid entertainer and I can't even do that now It's so bloody depressing! She isn't desperate for clothes, but I would love to have loads of extra cash where I could just go and spend £100 on her without having to think about it.
You know, I read in the papers almost daily about people killing their whole family (spouse and kids) and then themselves because they're in so much debt and can't cope anymore. It's disgraceful but I can understand why they do. Well, no, I don't understand the whole family bit, but themselves definately. I've quite a few times wished I wasn't here to have to deal with it anymore. I know that's bad of me and I know I would never be so stupid as to actually do something but the thought has definately been there
I totally wish that I had done better in school or had even gone to Uni. Or, had even saved some money whilst living at home when I had no responsibilities. I never listened to my parents when they told me to save, I just had the 'whatever' attitude and blew my wages on going out with my friends. Not so far from the normal but still.
This whole situation is putting a huge strain on my relationship but I honestly am feeling right now that I don't want to be with DBF. It's for selfish reasons more than anything. I feel like if he wasn't in the picture I could save so much more easily and I could get my life back on track. Sometimes it's like he is dragging me down..... he isn't happy himself but he comes home in a bad mood and just makes me think 'f*ck this!' I can't be bothered with it anymore. I think I would be happier but would I? It's hard.
"Oh my goodness me!" just a quick quote from my kid haha.
I cannot believe I've left it so long to update here. I have been SO busy in work, trying to do more than I should etc.
So what's happened since I last posted? Well, it was my bday on Sept 3rd and I turned 26!! OMG, that means only 4 years now until I am 30 haha. Didn't do too much, just went for tea with the fambo. The following week (Sept 11th) was DBFs 30th so I saved myself. We went quad biking, to a local Maize maze and then for a meal and lots of drinks. Had such a brilliant time
I'm still living at home with my Mum and things have been so much better with her. I think she has realised life is too short to worry about who's doing what housework and I am still helping as much as I can.
DBF is away this weekend and my Mum is out on Sat night so I am having the girls round for a chinese and to watch X Factor
I have been so totally obsessed with figuring out a way to raise money for the Neuroblastoma fund. I thankfully have never experiened this and hope I never have to, but I have read so many stories about children who have been taken by this horrible disease that I feel like I want to help in some way. So, this is in progress.
Cannot believe it's like 100 or so days until Christmas!!!!! I am sooooooo excited and have already started to tell Leia about Father Christmas coming to visit haha. I'm also trying to teach her the songs, especially jingle bells. She loves it.
Anyway, that is all I have to report so far. Life has been pretty amazing the last few weeks and I hope even though winter has very strongly rolled in, it continues to be ACE!