Okay so since I will be able to be home more now I will try this again.
I enjoy doing my journal here.
Today has been the worst day ever. You know you have bad days and think "oh, man there could never be anything worse than this" and I mean serious ****.... not just when your boss pisses you off and you can't strangle them because you are thousand miles away, I mean **** that just is unbelievable.
I've realized that we, Mr. Perfect and I, are getting older.... but are we old enough to be dealt the hand we were given today??? I don't know but it surely does suck. I will edit any typos tomorrow. But right now I have had 2 shots out of my own bottle of Petrone and 4 or 5 at the bar. So please forgive me.
This morning we received the news that no parent ever wants to hear. Nobody can even imagine.......and god I pray that I never have to go through this. Our beloved friend, one of the best parents ever, lost his dd in an accident yesterday. What a blow. I picked Em up early today (as we all had our flu shot appointment). When I saw her walking down the hall, book bag in tow, glasses on, I fell to the floor hysterical. I picked her up and fell back down and held her. She said "who died Mommy". I guess she (unlike the other parents at that school) realized mommy wasn't the drunken crack head. I told her. And held her. Hold your kids. You don't know if you will get to tomorrow.
You would think being from an Italian family that I could atleast boil water. But I really am so horrible in the kitchen that I simply have just stayed the hell out of there. Now we have to do this whole heart healthy Mr. Perfect has really bad cholesterol and blood pressure cooking. So since I feel quite bored these days I told him I would learn. I have every magazine, cookbook, and all the heart healthy things I could get my hands on. I have bought all the tools/gadgets that we didn't already have and not used ever, with great enthusiasm have spend endless hours on the phone with a friend who is a professor and my cousin who is a top chef. All set to go. Now I just need to get myself to the grocery store.
But that will wait, until all this other stuff is over. I ordered the most beautiful arrangement I have ever seen today. The prettiest off white almost beige huge stiff petaled roses mixed with pink lillies and those long white lilly things (I swear I thought the lady was saying cattle lillies but I don't think that's what they are called). In the middle is the Willowtree Angel of Hope. I just can't believe this is happening. I dread tomorrow so badly!
Today has already started off with a bang. I woke up to a god aweful cry. Ziggy was stuck under the fence and bleeding. So that was an interesting hour to say the least. I can't breath and my face is killing me. I am sure my sinuses would appreciate the weather making up its mind. I got out all of my sweaters last night in hopes to will the cold along, because as much as I hate being cold I hate worse the summer clothes one day, winter the next.
I have to go try to finish my Christmas shopping. Then we have an appointment with a nutritionist later. Plus the service. I am still completely overwhelmed with all of this. It is simply not fair. Especially without any answers as to what happened and why? I told dh last night that I couldn't help but wonder if it were an animal in the road? Guess some questions just always go unanswered though.
2005-Another year in the books....and that one, can keep its *** there, never to be read again.
I can not believe that my only child is ten now. Where on earth has it gone. Or has she been gone so much I never saw it coming. Her birthday is going to be celebrated over the week. Ten is big in our family's tradition.
Christmas was wonderful. New Year's Eve was fun.
My health is amazing. Up until 48 hours after my tx my creatinine remained stable at 0.9. Then it found its home at 1.0. Last week it was 0.7, perfect....simply perfect. And hopefully it will remain that way for many more years to come.
Summer has come and in a week and a half will be gone~for Emma atleast. She has hardly been home all summer but has traveled to some amazing places. The little jet setter is taking off again on Friday for a weekend at Disney with my bf and her dd. The rest of the summer has been spent relaxing on the boat and at the yacht club. Oh and in and out of the hospital for me. I think we've got it nailed now~after 4 months of being sick with a "fuo" I finally had an echocardiogram and now it looks as if it is my heart. Atleast that explains something!
Here's to fifth grade. Full on, Full out!!!