I am so anxious I can't sit still. I am also dying to smoke a cig! Will the desire ever go away? So, in less than 12 hours we will be at ST. Thomas. I am excited I probably won't sleep tonight, well, that wouldn't really be different from any other though.
On another note, my sister is going through a tough spot. Her husband got fired from his job. And now he has changed his mind about starting school in a couple of weeks to become a police officer, he doesn't want to do that either anymore. I wonder about him, really I do. He is a great person, but just doesn't seem ambitious, kwim? Love him to pieces but don't expect much of him.
My poor sister, I know she is stressed out but won't bother me with it right now. When I asked why he was home tonight she said she would tell me in a few days, I pulled it out of her. She didn't want me to be burdened with petty things tonight.
As for the old family, aside from my sister NADA. Of course my mother told my sis that she saw me at church again. WTF?
I have made it completely clear that the only family member from that side of my family that will be permited at the hospital will be my sister and hopefully it will be to give me her kidney. Otherwise I don't want their obligated visits! I don't want them period. Family for sale! Crazy, money hungry, jealous Family! I'll sell em for a dime.
Princess is spending the night with the Dee Dee, Pop Pop and Frank Daddy crew. They didn't want her to worry tomorrow. They think she oblivious to the fact. Meanwhile I don't hide a thing from her. She is smart and she is old enough and I have been sick since she was born so this is all she knows anyway. Plus she deserves to know, I mean honestly this could kill me.
Well, on that morbid note, the dryer is done and I am determined not to have to redry anything.
Everything went great today. Actually I was really surprised. They had us meet with the social workers, which I thought was the hardest part. They asked all kinds of crazy, off the wall personal questions, but I think we aced them.
Then we talked more with the coordinator, then she put together a pre-transplant test list. Lots of testing to be done. But since I am only 27 there is lots that won't need to be done (I am so hoping the mamagram is one of the won'ts, I hate the thought of my boobs being squeezed). After we got the test game plan, we talked with another RN about the anit-rejections, the stomach meds, and the anti-fungal, anti-bacterial, and anti-viral medicines I will have to take. They said to expect 20 different meds at first.
Next the dietician came in and fine tuned my diet. He worked with my potassium since I have been having serious charlie horses and chest pains. Basically, I can't eat ****. The only fruit I can have is peach necter, pear necter, canned pears, lemon and cranberry juice. Wtf? No cherries!
After that they whisked me off to the lab, drained 15 vials of blood and did the tissue testing. They also stole some pee.
Good news, so far, it looks like my sister is going to be a great match. We don't know by how many antigens, but so far it looks good.
I came home and crashed for a couple of hours and now I am going to go paint at potter for an hour or so.
Just happy today is over, and August 6th isn't far away! It won't be long now.
They came and put the Central Air Purification system in today. Yea! Things are moving now. Poor Emily misses CockADoodleDoo. She had to give him to a friend with a farm yesterday because well, he was **** a doodle dooing all day long in the middle of a quiet subdivision.
Today I took Em to her guitar lesson. She really is enjoying that. Slept a whole lot. But did get the daily vaccuming and laundry done. Got some stuff together for the neighborhood yard sale. I generally don't do those, but I have about 15 things so why not. I usually just throw it all away.
Tomorrow we go to the dance store. Emily needs her new shoes for the year. This year we have to buy the usual ballet and tap, plus she needs the jazz slippers for company. I am so excited about company, following in her mommy's footsteps!
I did pretty good with the diet thing today. Gotta love a little plain chicken breast (blah, I hate chicken) with plain white rice. For breakfast I had a rice crispie treat and lunch was a 1/2 a cup of plain yougart. I better get a kidney soon or I will wither away to nothing. And I refuse to lose anymore weight. I like my clothes and refuse to buy a size any smaller!
I think tomorrow Em and I will go see Brody as well. He is getting so big so quick. He is already 9.4 pounds. And is eating 5 ounces every 4 hours At 7 weeks that seems like a lot. Hungry boy got his daddy's appetite for sure.
After my doctor's appointment today we went to America's. Bought Em her riding boots, pants, knee guards, socks and goggles. Oh, and she picked her number for the bike. Add that to the bike and the dance wear this child is costing a small fortune. She finally took her boots off but insisted on wearing them everywhere we went today.
Chris is buying us all bikes now. Em's got the 50, he is looking at a 100 today for me and he is going to buy a 250. So, I guess we are going to sell the crotch rocket and get back into the dirtbike business. Oh well, it's safer. But I did make it clear that his racing days are long gone. I refuse to travel like that anymore. It is just for fun now.
I have eaten so much chocolate today I can't believe I haven't gotten sick yet. Added to the 4 cheese Krystals and large fries. I will be so sorry later! That's okay, it's Monday tx day!
My poor sister. I think her husband is slipping back to his highschool ways. She told me today all they have been doing is fighting. She said he isn't really putting forth much effort to find a job and when he goes he goes with another unemployed friend who is nothing but trouble. He is really getting into the party scene again and that is so not my sister's style. I knew things must be on edge, my sister hasn't called in a week and that isn't like her. I hope he can straighten up soon. My sister really doesn't deserve this.
Chris is off tomorrow. Don't know what we'll do. I would love to take Em to the zoo but right now the weather is crappy. Maybe we'll take her to the Diggin the Dinosaurs thing at Opryland. It looks really cool.
I think I ticked the neighbor off riding the 50 up and down the street earlier this evening. Whatever.
I have to figure out a way to keep this Creative Memories stuff going. It is so hard to get people to have a class. But I feel like I fail at everything I do. I would really like to make this work. If I don't it will just be one more thing I started but never finished. I don't understand how so many other people get all of these classes book and I don't even charge the stupid ten dollar fee and I can't get squat.
Anyway, I feel like ***. I am so freaking hungry.
Wednesday is too many days away for me. I am sitting on go.
Still haven't spoken with the "family" if you want to call them that. Although my sister has informed me that I am not missing much. Seems "mommy dearest" was in a fender bender, or shall I say the cabbie who was driving was. So now my father thinks he is going to sue the city. Whatever, I think my sil's exact words were "he's been in the south too long". TEEHEEHEE. That's my father always looking for a ****ing handout.
Having my family in law over tomorrow night for a cookout for C's 33rd birthday. I wish I knew something really cool I could get him. The only thing I though he would want I let my sil get. She gave it to him tonight and he said he almost told his parents to get the same thing for him. Ah, those great minds thinking alike again.
I wish I could figure out how to make a cool siggy. I have screwed around in photoshop all night and everything I made wouldn't upload to this site. And my avatar is supposed to go from red to green (it's a christmas tree, but ya can't tell). I thought it was appropriate since I feel like my whole life is sitting on go right now.
The boys are giving me dirty looks. They keep getting out of their beds to check on me. And of course to continue their daily routine of in and out.
Emily is spending the night with the F's tonight. Having a blast I'm sure. It has been about 3 years since they have had her over night.
I can't stop crying I am so happy!!!! Jen is pregnant! After two long years she is going to be a mommy. Due March 24th. Yea!!!!! I had a feeling when she called me earlier today and I missed the call. I don't know why I thought it but I did. I am so excited. Now Ev needs to find himself a job here so we can be together again.
Had family over tonight. Had a good time. But boy does Emily have some serious jealousy over the baby. And of course mil had to start, Steph and I were sitting at the kitchen table and mil comes in and says (exact words) "so I've been meaning to ask you, after the transplant will you be able to have a baby for Chris". My response exactly "hell no".
Em did awesome at company camp today. Jenni said she is definately in the top five of the class and has such a great attitude. After camp we went to Target to get Daddy a birthday present. My every intention was to get him a PS2 game since he is getting a 50 for himself, but I spyed the video cameras and couldn't resist. We sold our mini dv because we never used and now we wish we had it all the time. I bought another Sony mini dv. It was only $599 so not too bad. I thought about just getting an el cheapo one but I really want to be able to edit and have the digital quality. Needless to say he was surprised. It is very unlike me to buy electronics without his assistance.
Tonight we have someone coming to look at the blackbird. I will be sad to see it go but in a way it will be a big relief. It is just to damn dangerous to ride around here. Nobody respects you. Ah, dirtbikes are more fun anyway.
Steph and I got our menu planned for this weekend. I am so ready to go, haven't been there all summer.
Target is selling the Graco doll line now. I bought Em the stroller/carseat set from FAO for Christmas last year. Spent about sixty bucks on it, excluding shipping. They have it for twenty. They also had the pack n play for twenty so I bought that for her, on one condition, she will not cry when I pay attention to Brody this weekend. She promised, we'll see.
Have to go back to the hospital tomorrow. Meet with the doc in charge and the surgeon. Then at ten they are doing the mra with contrast. I know that they are going to have to take it out if it shows ras. Which from the previous study I have atrophy so. We'll see.
Em's gone with her Frank Daddy for the night and boy it is finally quiet here. I swear that child woke up talking this morning and did not stop until she left just now.
Why am I up? Why did I forget to take my stupid *** sleeping pills? Why am I drinking juice when I am supposed to be npo after midnight? Why am I so swollen tonight?
Why, why, why, why, why? That word actually looks pretty silly right now.
So, the cards are on the table and I am going to assume this is open for discussion now? I feel differently now. Maybe things we bury are truely burdens that weigh us down? Suddenly though I feel complete again. So, it won't be gravy. Such is life. Now that I feel like I have an option I am happy. Does that mean that when the time comes I am going to take it, not necessarily. Just feels good to know that the hope is there.
Bought some really cool coolers today, they say they will keep us for five days in 90 degree weather. I hated to have to buy them, but the old one is now a dog proof storage unit for gallon jugs of antifreeze. Won't be putting food in that ever again. Emily is packed and so is her baby doll, Alice. She is insisting on lugging the stroller and the pack and play. No biggie. She still has to hold true on her promise of no jealousy over the baby.
Getting the rest of our stuff packed. It is supposed to be beautiful this weekend. I sure do hope so. Not that I plan on being out on the boat at all. But, for all other's sake.
I am very much looking forward to the serene environment this weekend. Oh, and the house next to ours up there finally went on the market. We are seriously considering buying it. That would make our road completely family.