Life's a bowl of cherries...............

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Life's a bowl of cherries...............

then you choke on a pit.
Went to get some plants today at the nursery. I picked up two azaleas and a yucca tree to plant in my large pot on the back deck.
I am going to order my annual flowers online this evening, I am still trying to make up my mind.
I also got a large bag of wildflower mix...... Sounds easy enough for me to do.

Worked on Emily's Life scrapbook. Watched mc plant the new stuff and move some of the existing in the garden.

Everyday I am going to take something that happened that day and make a quote of it in my new journal. Because, you do learn something new everyday.
This one stems from a meeting of 4 women in my culdesac this evening.
*Women who obsess about their weight and the weight of others are annoying*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I picked Em up from school today and surprised her with a dinosaur egg from Hallmark. I was smart and asked the lady when they were doing away with them and she said that was her last order. So, I had to buy 4 more. I will give her one with her Easter than the others as small "prizes" like we have been doing.
Taxes are done. C is off tomorrow! I can't wait. It will be a beautiful day to ride :blob5: We have to finish mulching and wash all the vehicles, but we don't have to pick up Em so I bet C will take the blackbird out.

I baked cookies.
*When you ask someone to do something for you, even if you know they will do it without it, say Please to show them you appreciate it*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yesterday: The Circus came back to town. Boy I tell you what if this isn't over soon, I will be a murderer.
Some highlights of our visit from the builder's lawyer:
"the bed sags to the floor from moisture damage if you take the 10 homemade jackstands out from under it", dh
"This may seem like an extraordinary question but Mr. B could it be that you spilled something on the bed?" MORON LAWYER (who we found out is in cohoots with the Linberry and March family, real fuc*ing nice: criminals!
"Yes, mister I pour water all over my house and take my box springs and matress floating in the lake daily" dh
But, suposidly the builder has a guilty consience and wants to make it right.
*Assholes everywhere*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Went and did the Easter Bunny thing for the gang today. Emily got 3 of the Hallmark Dino eggs, a Strawberry Shortcake ride, a little SS clip on thing, tatoo pens (I know I am crazy for this one), and lots of candy (which daddy and I will eat since she's not a big fan). The gray boys got new beds. And the birds and cat some treats. Went to lunch at O'Charley's, note to self, don't go out to eat in Hermitage anymore. The servers lack quite a few brain cells. Tried to charge us for $25 in liquor that we never drank, all we had was a coke and club soda!
While out today we saw a gazillion bikes, so we rushed home to get the XX out. It was awesome, we actually pulled some Gs today. I am going to be sore tomorrow. 0-110 in 3 secs, 40-120 in 2 secs for 30 secs.
Average speed 80, number of curves 15, full lean 10 out of 15 (gotta hate the cars that get in your way). What an adrenaline rush. I love it.

*You must ride a motorcycle once in your life, it is a feeling like no other*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Jen rode the bike, okay so they only got up to 33 but that is a start.
Summer is here officially, the first WPP deck gathering was tonight.
We are back in full swing!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

There is something about this song. I just need to post it here.

Last night I had a crazy dream.
A wish was granted just for me, it could be for anything.
I didn't ask for money, or a mansion in Malibu.
I simply wished, for one more day with you.

One more day, one more time.
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied.
But then again, I know what it would do.
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you.
One more day.

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl.
I'd unplug the telephone, keep the TV off.
I'd hold you every second, say a million I love you's;
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you.

One more day, one more time.
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied.
But then again, I know what it would do.
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you.

One more day, one more time.
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied.
But then again, I know what it would do.
Leave me wishing still, for one more day.....

Leave me wishing still, for one more day.....
Leave me wishing still, for one more day.....
With you.

One more day. (One more day.)
This has been the hardest year of my life and I have gone through it without my best friend, my Grama. I know she is here with me though and I do feel her presence at times.
I also post this song to help say good bye to my Uncle Bill. He will be laid to rest tomorrow. I am so pissed that I can't be there. I will probably regret missing his service for the rest of my life.
Also saying good bye to Vince's dad after a long hard battle with cpd the past few months.

Could I be any more depressed than I am right now? I really don't think so. I have toyed with the idea of getting on some Valium. I need something. I have a new machine added to my own little medical center, now I have a nebulizer. Nice, the mold is the reason I can't have a transplant yet and now it is frying my fucking lungs. Some days I sit and wish I would have finished school, and honestly there are days when I wish I was as nieve about the human body as the rest of the world is. It sucks "knowing" the truth. Ya know when you have labs drawn and the doctor just hands them to you to interpet. When your doctor doesn't consult another doctor, but consults you on your treatment. I am NOT supposed to be the patient, I AM supposed to be the doctor.
Michele
*Shopping and dining out are great forms of therapy, I've definately been to the therapist today*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have made an executive decession tonight. One down and one very major one to go.
I have until June 2nd to decide. I have a lot of things to weigh. I think I will go away for a week to try to clear my head so that I can focus all of my energy on this.

Okay, anyway, the school carnival was fun. I didn't bid on anything at the auction this year, we missed the first one and the second wasn't closing until 7 and we had a dinner date for 6:15.
Dinner was fabulous as always, went to the PHouse. Ran into mom, dad, and Molly there. Got to do some catch up with Alicia and Han. I must say talking to them was just what I needed.

Earlier today, dh's cousin came out. Whiney preggo butt stayed home, tg.
Now her ankles are swollen WAWAWAWAWA. Tell me about it.
Atleast yours will be over in 2 months.

Gotta run.
Deck Party time.

*Although time with friends is often limited, it is important*
*Follow your heart*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Things have been so crazy around here lately. Some good, some I would rather not be dealing with at all. It looks as if we have the go ahead to start fixing the house. But the remidiation contractor doesn't want to do anything until it can all be done at once. So we have half of what we need in savings (although it will wipe us out) and are trying to decide if we should take a loan out for the rest or wait and see if this asshole will settle. I don't know what to do! I hate borrowing money! The borrower is slave to the lender!
I am so sick from the mold it is unbelievable. I am on breathing treatments, steriods and just feel like blach! I really want my transplant, too. Although home Hemo is going as good as that can be :roll: C is doing great with medical stuff, of course he has had a wonderful teacher!
I am having a candle party tomorrow night. That should be fun. My friends haven't all been over in a while. And so far everyone is coming, so I guess I better make a liquor store run.
Saturday I am going to a breakfast at my neighbor's house and then I have to go to C's cousin's wife's shower. Why would somebody have a baby shower at 4 on a Saturday? Oh well, trophey wife duty calls!
I am so excited about the upcoming h/s reunion. Bo called today and they are going too. We will have a blast, now we just have to get David to go with us! I am going to start shopping for some clothes for that weekend next week and I can't wait. I also need to start buying for the cruise. We are going in Nov. so I need to be buying clothes now and putting them away!
My grandfather is not doing well at all. I have so much guilt about that right now. We were never close and I am regretting that. I haven't even seen him in 15 years! They have never met my husband or my child.
I got my mother's day present this weekend. I got some really nice chaise lounges that I have been eyeballing and C even got me the nesting tables that go with! And he bought me another tree and 2 flowering pots for the deck. It looks so good out there. I can't wait until the house is fixed so we can finish the backyard. I am also impressed that the boys haven't gotten in my chairs yet.
Barley looks awesome, he has gained 10 pounds since we neutered him. His ears seem to be doing better, too.
Emily only has 4 more weeks of school. I can't believe it. I am a little pissed at the school right now though. Her teacher left for maternity leave (which we weren't thrilled about anyway since she is not due until the end of May) and the sub that stayed for a week to take over while the teacher was there has not been very dependable. Em came home yesterday saying that there were 2 second grade mothers who taught the class. What the F***, I DO NOT spend the money I spend on education for her to be babysat!
Andy changed his mind for the 5 th time about selling us the SVO, now he is going to wait a couple of months. Ass! I want that car, and I want it now. I think I will ride up to the showroom today with the cash and beg!
He promised us we will get, he is just not sure what he wants to replace it with, I suggested he replace it with 10k! He is going to wait until he finds what he wants though.
Oh well, time to breath and take a nap! Frank daddy is in charge of driving Miss Em today! This will be the first day in a long time when I haven't left the house at all, and I kinda like it!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, what a day yesterday! My candle party was a blast. Cora came which surprised me, I think she is really trying at making a mends. We had a lot of fun, mom ended up staying over, too, which was nice. C had to work this morning so I had company for coffee. Yesterday, my phone went out, and is still out (TDS sucks) and they probably won't come to fix it until Monday, whatever! The friggin guy to chip the wood showed up at 5 yesterday, thanks for the warning man! Then proceeded at 8 to destroy the yard trying to get unstuck, finally he got some balls and called C who was out working on a race car, so he called our friend to come pull the guy out. GRRRR!
Went to Cheryl's this morning. Ate breakfast and then she had a Southern Living show, I got some of the cutest stuff. And I only spent $160, wow, 40 bucks under my limit, guess I will have to find somewhere to spend that Wink
The idiot kid who helped the wood chipper left the back gate open last night, thanks assholes, so therefore mom and I were out rounding up the BGDs (Bad or Big Gray Dogs) out of the pond this morning. Thank God they came back and didn't decide to run, that would have sucked. Thank God mom was here, too.
Still have to go to the baby shower, ugh why 4? Why not noon, when most normal people have showers? Oh well, trophey wife, trophey wife!
Got to run by the dealership and do a couple of things before we go to the shower. They are really slammed today, which is fine with me!
Harry screamed the entire time my sil was talking at the candle party. I kept telling people not to look at him, but they were cracking up at him. I guess he wanted the floor so to speak.
I feel pretty good today. Mom watched me do my thing last night for the first time. She did okay, it is a little upsetting to see for her, but she should be a part of it. Molly couldn't handle it so she went to bed. I don't think at 10 I could watch someone I love drain all of the blood out of themselves either. Bless her heart, she started crying, which of course broke every ounce of my being!
Gotta go pick up Princess now, will write more later.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, what a day yesterday! My candle party was a blast. Cora came which surprised me, I think she is really trying at making a mends. We had a lot of fun, mom ended up staying over, too, which was nice. C had to work this morning so I had company for coffee. Yesterday, my phone went out, and is still out (TDS sucks) and they probably won't come to fix it until Monday, whatever! The friggin guy to chip the wood showed up at 5 yesterday, thanks for the warning man! Then proceeded at 8 to destroy the yard trying to get unstuck, finally he got some balls and called C who was out working on a race car, so he called our friend to come pull the guy out. GRRRR!
Went to Cheryl's this morning. Ate breakfast and then she had a Southern Living show, I got some of the cutest stuff. And I only spent $160, wow, 40 bucks under my limit, guess I will have to find somewhere to spend that Wink
The idiot kid who helped the wood chipper left the back gate open last night, thanks assholes, so therefore mom and I were out rounding up the BGDs (Bad or Big Gray Dogs) out of the pond this morning. Thank God they came back and didn't decide to run, that would have sucked. Thank God mom was here, too.
Still have to go to the baby shower, ugh why 4? Why not noon, when most normal people have showers? Oh well, trophey wife, trophey wife!
Got to run by the dealership and do a couple of things before we go to the shower. They are really slammed today, which is fine with me!
Harry screamed the entire time my sil was talking at the candle party. I kept telling people not to look at him, but they were cracking up at him. I guess he wanted the floor so to speak.
I feel pretty good today. Mom watched me do my thing last night for the first time. She did okay, it is a little upsetting to see for her, but she should be a part of it. Molly couldn't handle it so she went to bed. I don't think at 10 I could watch someone I love drain all of the blood out of themselves either. Bless her heart, she started crying, which of course broke every ounce of my being!
Gotta go pick up Princess now, will write more later.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Big is recovering nicely. Had a great Mother's Day, although my brother pulled his shit again and never showed up. I have news for him and his biatch of a wife. Don't expect anything from this family ever, we are over you and you are dead to us. Got it?
Sold the F150 to my baby brother. He needed something bad, and c is ready for a new truck anyway. That one is 13 years old.
Had Mother's Day at my in laws yesterday, we had a really good time. Got to visit gnash, boy is he getting fat since moving there.
Then went to brunch yesterday am at Phouse. That was nice, we ate with Merri and J and his family. Then came home, took a nap, daddy and em washed my car inside and out, while I slept, then we went to dad's. That was nice, Craigy's girlfriend and her mom came.
All for now, gotta go meet my man for lunch.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have decided to shut my brother and his family out of my life. It is for the best, my sister and other brother have also chosen to do the same. We just can not put up with his disrespectful and way out of line behavior. He used to be such a good kid, now he is the biggest loser one could ever know. Heck the should rename Louisville, Loserville because he lives there. He has some issues. He has always had a problem with lying to be better than the Jonses. He met his wife in December of 1997, he had a fiance (whom I am still great friends with and who he totally dicked)when he met Mylinda. But Mylinda was a little skinny blond and his fiance wasn't. So he cheated on Misty and finally a good friend of his busted him. He himself knew Misty was too good for Cj and that this new one, Mylinda was just about as bimbo as bimbo can be.
I became engaged to dh in October of 1998, CJ had proposed to his new girlfriend (who we already disliked because of her actions of immaturity everytime we were together). My brother then gets mad because I refuse to have a double wedding with him. In other words, he knew I was having a bad ass wedding and her parents could never do anything half as nice so he though he could mooch off of me.
Be back, promised dh I would meet him for lunch.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So, we were married in June of 99 and he waited until the next spring, my whole family prayed they wouldn't make it that far, but they did. Their wedding was a little short of a joke. They paid $500 for a dj, yet served frozen (people were thawing them with lighters) shrimp and ham sandwiches on white plain old bread. My father was so embarrassed. He would have been more than happy to provide food. We could have made some trays of ziti, sausage and pepper, but instead of food the idiots spent another few hundred on decorations with their names on it. The place they had their reception was a shack and to make it much worse it smelled like a fish fry. My brother's best friend felt bad everyone had traveled so far for a sucky reception and threw a killer pool party that night back at the hote.
So, they married. She went from being unplesant to be around to super bitch. They never came to visit. They would say they were coming and if my parents were lucky they would drive down every 3 or 4 months, stay for an hour or two have my father pay for their dinner (which pissed him off more, because the bitch would order a filet and douse it with ketchup then eat one bite, $16 or so dollars wasted!). Then before they were even married a year, they decided to buy a house. Just one of those pop up village houses. The best loan rate they could get at that time (we already knew they were way over their heads in credit cards, my brother had his head completely shaved during one visit and we asked why, he said they didn't have ten bucks for a haircut, so she cut it. Then in the next breath tell us how they dropped $100 on a hedgehog, when we asked how he said "visa baby") was 14%! We told them they were crazy to buy a house, with that intrest rate it was obvious they couldn't afford it. We instantly became jealous of him (at the time we were building the house we are in now). They moved in the house and charged everything to go in it. Then decided to decorate a nursery. Because they were going to start "trying". Uh, I still cringe at the thought of them spawning, but I figured with her being anorexic it would take a while. It did, it took 6 months and bam she was pregnant. From the first day she got a faint positive, she began (I swear) having "false labor". And hyperemeisis. Okay, I explained to her that dehydration is going to cause her to miscarriage. She told me that I was "jealous" because she was skinnier than me. And that she was pregnant. Three weeks later she was having to stop working and was allegidly put on bed rest. They never came to visit due to her bedrest. Christmas time came around and my brother insisted that I give her a baby shower for my family's friends to attend here. I planned it along with my sister, did she come NO. I told him he needed to bring his faggot ass down for the shower since I had gone throught the trouble, expense and that mom's friends were all nice enough to say they would come. He tells me and my sis he can't leave his wife. Well the mother fucker had no problem leaving his wife the next day to come down, spend 40 minutes (we always time visits, as we bet money on it in the family, lol) and grabbed all of his presents. When he saw they were open he tried to start with me and my sister. My father quickly told him to fuck himself and that when people attend showers they like to see all of the stuff. Did I get a single thank you, no. He told me I was a bitch and the fact that I let my daughter and baby sister open the gifts were his proof I was jealous of his upcoming arrival and that I probably pretended the shower was for me. I told you people he is a
psych case.
Anyways Christmas approached and they promised my parents they would drive down Christmas day. On Christmas Eve the moron calls me to say they are not coming due to her bed rest. IN THE NEXT BREATH OUT OF HIS MOUTH he tells us how he took her to the mall to pick out her Christmas gifts. And how they bought all of this "expensive" stuff. To no surprise of ours that she is on bed rest and can't visit but can go shopping, back the day after Thanksgiving they called everyone from the mall to ask what they wanted, obviously she wasn't on too strickt of bedrest.
So, they don't come for Christmas. They have their kid and call me begging me to come help when they got home from the hospital. I like an ass, go. I fell asleep on the couch that night and woke up to her going psychotic, screaming how if she doesn't sleep she is going to die and she wished the baby would die and the dogs barking at me were keeping her up. I told my brother to put the fucking little cocker spaniel outside (it had not stopped barking at me in the 10 hours I had been there) she went off on me, she told me to sleep outside and the dog would shut up. As for them not having had sleep, I had taken care of their baby while they layed in bed all day.
I left, at 2 in the morning I took myself and took my chances and drove home on the interstate by myself in the middle of the night. The three hour trip also turned into four due to interstate closure for construction.
After that I decided that they were not worthy of being a part of my life and I stopped all communication with them.
Then Grandma died.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My Grandma was my best friend, we talked everyday and we went to see her all of the time. She lived ten hours away in Florida. My sis and bil were planning on riding down with my parents and baby sister. Dh and I were going to fly down. Then all of a sudden CJ decides he and his lovely :roll: wife are going to drive down for the funneral as well. He convinces my parents to ride with them, so we decided we would drive so my sis and bil didn't have to. Mom, Dad, Molly, CJ and biatch were going to stay in grandma's 1 bedroom apt, that also had a couch bed. Merri (my sister) and I decided we would take a couple of rooms at the hotel. My sister and I barely saw my brother, as we were really busy helping my aunt and cousin plan things and get it together for the service. We asked my brother to do a reading along with my cousin and myself at the mass. He said he didn't want to. So, we left it at that. The first night we were in town my mom stayed at my aunt's to help her out. So my dad let CJ and his wife sleep in Grams bed and he and Molly took the couch. The next day came and we had visitation from 1-5 then 6:30-8 with a prayer service at 8 held by the VFW for her. In between visits we went back to my Aunt's house, did my brother stay and spend time with my bedridden Uncle who had just had heart surgery himself and looked like death, no he and his biatch walked to the beach. Actually dad had to go find them because when it came time to go back to visitation they still hadn't come back from the beach.
Later that night, Chris and I decided to go out with my cousin and her husband and my sister and bil were invited to go to Walmart with CJ and biatch. That is when all hell broke loose. Obviously the witch needed a bathing suit (wtf anyway, you are here for a funneral, not to lay on the beach) and she couldn't fit her ass into a small so she threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the store and then told my brother if she wasn't getting a bathing suit neither was he. They dropped Merri and J back off at the hotel and went back to grams. The four of us hung out back at the hotel and stayed up almost all night drinking coffee. Merri and J were trying to bet with us that Cj and biatch leave in the middle of the night. We said no way, mom and dad wouldn't have a way home. Merri said that she biatched the whole time they were out together that she wanted to leave.
Well, mom and dad show up for mass in my Uncle's car: The Mother Fucker left them. All because dad said he and mom were going to stay in grama's room with Molly that night and biatch refused to stay on the couch. We ended up having to drive my parents to Jacksonville to rent a car so they could get home.
Meanwhile Merri called the asshole and ripped him a new one. Turns out they stayed in a hotel 2 hours away, they didn't even go home.
The next thing I know the sob is calling me everyday to see if my grandmother left him any money. Turns out she did, she left him a thousand dollar trust fund. He hounded the crap out of me to get the paperwork on it for him, he needed the money so he could file for bankruptcy (which he did last July, had both cars repoed, too).
The idiot borrows money to buy a cadillac and a junk car for his wife ($7,000 total borrowed from his fil), wrecks the caddy, had no insurance on it and goes out and finances a brand new pussy yellow neon.

Then tells me we are idiots for having all of the cars we have (cash for all of them) and for buying a brand new thirty thousand dollar car.

We played nice for a while, but now there will be NO MORE NICE, he is an ass, she is an ass and I feel so sorry for the baby, whom they let crawl on a floor that 3 cockers piss and shit on constantly.

And that is why I abhore my brother.

*Don't try to pretend to be someone you are not, people will see right through you*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Went to Boswell's for lunch. It is a Harley Davidson shop that also has a little cafe in it. It was good, but man they give you a ton of food. I guess they are used to feeding Harely riders, lol.
Chris's friend from work is taking me for my first shot gun lesson tomorrow at the gun club. That ought to be a funny sight. I learned how to hold the gun today at the shop. It was a double barrel Parazzi and I know he paid over twenty grand for it so I was so scared I was gonna drop it, the sucker weighs a ton!
Picked the princess up from school, she is playing on her swingset and I am sitting here on the chaise watching her, I think it is going to rain any minute now.
Nothing else going on.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had a blast shooting skeet the other day. I got to meet some really cool people, too. One of the people I met was Dr. Katan (sp?) the doctor who wrote the T-Factor diet book. I also got to shoot with two senators. One who used to be anti-gun and now is a gun collector.
Didn't get to go to the Ironman Gala Friday night. I was so disappointed, but I really did feel horrible, actually I felt like shit. Saturday, I had people over to work on their scrapbooks and Sun we just hung out.
I am so sick of not sleeping. I think I have been able to get about 6 hours in the last 2 days! Last night I fell asleep at 10, was up at 1, went back to sleep at 3:30ish to wake up at 4:20 and I have been up ever since. I have to take Big to the vet to get his stitches out. He will be so happy to be allowed back outside. He is so bored. He has been hanging out in the dogs' beds with them!
I order my mother and myself the Windsor Pilates and it finally came yesterday. I am hoping maybe it will be easier for me to do at home since I can avoid exercises that are no-no's for me without the instructor constantly trying to motivate me to do things I am not supposed to because of my blood pressure. But I guess that is what you get when you go to the Y. The all around fitness instructor who can do pilates then a kickboxing class, so they basically know the moves, but that is about it.
I really want my house issue resolved. This is getting assinine! The fact that they said we could go ahead and fix it after they gave us back our written answer, then they never send the written answer and my lawyer can't find the sob, drug dealing lawyer for the stupid ass builders. I am ready to go crazy and go find the friggin lawyer myself.
Better run, got to be in Nashville for 8:30 and what generally takes 20 minutes will take 40 in rush hour and I am not even dressed yet.

Michele

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My poor Big Kitty. He has to have surgery again today. I took him to the vet thinking he was all clear, but when they took the stitches out on his back, it broke apart again. Then we realized his drain hole is not closing, with means that there is something in it (Mike seems to think it's a dog's tooth, we'll see) and it has to come out or it will never close and will remain a breeding ground for all sorts of funk! This is going to end up right at about a thousand dollars. WooHoo, I have a thousand dollar cat :roll:
After dropping him off I went by the dealership. I got a really nice compliment from one of the big wigs here to oversee the change of hands. He told me how amazing he thinks I am and how I am a real go getter! I really needed to hear that! I look forward to spending some more time helping out there, if I ever get some sleep! I haven't done anything productive for them in a couple of weeks. I have to start feeling better soon. I need to have that outlet. Of course, it is nothing like work to me. I do what I want, when I want, in whatever department I want. Just there to lend a hand. I answer to no one. Of course I don't get paid directly, but if I am helping them, technically I am helping them make money which makes me money. Make sense?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

This not sleeping shit is for the birds. I can't fucking take it anymore. I called Clara for a script for v this morning, she ran it by Walgreens for me. I love her to pieces, she is a great friend and an amazing doctor. Unfortunately, I have taken 20 mg and I am still up. It is so hard not to see if one more will knock me out, but I know I just can't do that! I can't believe more pts don't od themselves, not intentionally, but sometimes the meds just don't work.
For someone with zero sleep I have been a busy bee. Saturday Ernie was at the dealership with Colossal II. Emily loved him. He is huge, although he is Ernie's smallest snake, weighing 150 pound and 14 feet long. Beautiful, breathtaking and very heavy. I tried to hold him alone, but my knees buckled. We have are going to schedule a test photo shoot for the calendar soon. I have to get going to the gym. And he wants me to work on my tan, too. Being Italian I know that will be no problem. I am a bit nervous about the shoot though. I just never imagined myself in a bathing suit in a calendar! He also asked me about doing some assistant work with him. He has Jay Leno scheduled for this year and is practically begging me to go with to help. TV, not sure about that one either, this is all such a big decession! And dh is no help, he wants me to do it only if I want to do it. He tells me I'll be fine, he says "you were a ballerina, you can preform". Yea, on stage, where from the audience everyone looks the same and that was before I gave birth and went on dialysis.
We rode a little on Saturday. Not anything special, and we parked the bike at 5 because it is scary enough riding with the assholes of the road, let alone the drunk assholes of the road.
Today was a big day. Initiation into the Nashville Gun Club. I was so excited. Ready to go shoot, but it was near 50 degrees and raining, and I didn't feel like trying to shoot in the rain, so we just watched the tournament from the clubhouse. BC did pretty good, but today was the first time I have ever seen him miss a shot. Of course it was freezing and pouring at the time.
Tonight we went to mom and dad's. Princess is staying there tonight. I am going to piss ex mil off big time tomorrow, but oh well. She almost demanded Em be back at noon for their little cookout, well Em wants to go with mom and the gang to their friend's cookout, and since they rarely spend time with her, she is going with them. We will join them later, but we have to go to the club again tomorrow. I need some practice and it is the final day of the tournament. Plus, I have my vest embroidered now so I really was upset I didn't get to show it off today.
I am really getting more nervous about this cruise Ford is sending us on in November. I mean geez, I have NEVER been thrilled about the boat thing, now with the illnesses and the latest, a boiler explosion. Uck! Trophey wife, trophey wife, I will go on this boat in the middle of the ocean and act like it is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
My poor kitty is going stir crazy, we let him stay out in our room last night and left the bathroom door open, but the dog got into his box and ate a "payday" so tonight he is back in the bathroom. I know he is going crazy in there, but atleast the bathroom is huge, kind of like a little apartment for him. I am proud of him for using his litter pan. He hasn't missed once. Maybe he will move back inside, I doubt it but, maybe.
I really miss Emily and am getting really sick of these morons dragging their feet on this. We told our lawyer we were one week away from fixing it and forgeting it. He said not to, he knows we will win our case. He told us we deserve to have the cost of the house and pain and suffering. Money isn't everything, and hell we are already doing very well financially, but mentally I am starting to crumble, I NEED TO BE WITH MY DAUGHTER AT ALL TIMES, and being without her is not worth the piddly 200k we will probably walk away with. And out of that 100k will go towards reimbursment for the cost to fix the house. So, woo hoo we will win less than one year's salary. NOT WORTH ANOTHER MINUTE WITHOUT EM!
Frank is really trying to do good lately. C actually told him he could come to the club and shoot my gun some with me. I think he would like that, well as long as he doesn't flip out and shoot me. Nah, he loves me too much (not in a romantic way, but as a friend). When I called him from the car today on the way home from the club he ask how I did (I really want my hat shot up) and I told him I couldn't shoot because I was too sweet and I would melt in the rain, he and C both let out this snarl sound at the same time. Thanks guys, are you saying I am a bitch. Ah, if anyone knows me it would be the two men that live(d) with me.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so heartbroken today. First, I totally blew my shoot! Totally, I was so mad at myself I didn't speak to C the entire ride home. I have looked forward to today all week and I friggin blew it. I guess my head wasn't on straight today.
Then, we hear from Zeigler. That boy is going to be the death of me. I love him so much and I am just dying to grab him up by his shoulders and shake the ever loving shit out of him. I am so sick of having to go make sure he isn't laying dead in his house. He finally calls us today, C has gone by there all friggin month long, he had been in rehab. And what did he ask today, could I get him some pills, uh, NO. I am above that, and you know that buddy. We are all he has, well besides t who is back in the house with him. I guess his near death experience didn't change anything either. I am just so heartbroken over him. I wish he would look into the mirror and realize what a beautiful person he is both inside and out. Then he should get off his bum, get a job and get a life.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I have had a major :idea:
Elevated white cell count: greater than 12,000 for a year
chronic nausea (even with dialysis?)
pain after eating
Well duh, gallblader! Now, why in the hell hasn't somebody thought of that before? I finally figured it out! I am going for my u/s some time this week hopefully. I think that once we stop the chronic infection I may be able to get some renal recovery. Long shot, but I can hope. Plus maybe my b/p will regulate, and I won't feel like ass anymore.
Dr. K. was so funny when I went by there this morning. I told him I had something to throw at him, gave him the run down and you could see his :idea: too. Then he asked me not to be mad at him for not figuring it out sooner, how could I be mad at you? I would have to be mad at myself, too! If anyone should have figured this out it should have been me, I have every single classic symptom! Go figure.
Zieg called me agian this morning to ask if I am upset with him. I just told him that we love him and that we will stand by him through this. I then told him I had to go, I was so upset and I just don't need this right now.
Emily doesn't have to wear uniforms all week. She is so excited about that. We have field day tomorrow, skating party Thurs. Then we dismiss at 10 Fri. At noon on Friday we have dress rehersal, recital Sat at 6. Of course I will be there all weekend just about helping out. Well, depending on how I feel of course.
I have to get out to the mall and find a dress to wear to the reunion. C needs something to wear too. All of his good ties are molded. So, I guess I will go to Talbots and see if I can replace a few. I think he had some Brooks Brothers as well. He is so picky about where his damn clothes come from. I guess that is what FR. Ryan will do to a kid.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ultrasound confirmation tomorrow. I guess I will have to miss Em's award ceremony. I am sure either Frank Daddy will go and I know if he can't mom will be there anyway so she will just pick her up for us. C has school again tomorrow.
Now, to get this surgery scheduled. When am I going to fit this shit into my life that is already jam packed for the next month? Every weekend is a different mandatory function. This weekend recital (which, it obviously isn't happening before then), next week, on Wednesday I have a delievery (can't quite not be there for that), Steph would kill me. She is stressed enough about her situation, but this baby needs to come and needs to come soon. I know he will be fine and I will be there to make sure she isn't overmedicated. Next weekend is reunion weekend. Then the following week is open except for Brian and Beth's wedding party. But, that is family and if I am not up to par, I can just go and sit.
And sometime in there, those mother fuckers better get their plan together and come over to show us exactly what has to be done to fix this fucking house.
Frank told me and Chris the other day that as soon as Em comes home he is going to try to get out on his own. I am a little worried about that, but I think it is definately a step in the right direction. And I know he is sick and tired of living with his parents.
Anyway. Yesterday was field day. Had a blast. I was in the gym in charge of the cotton ball blow. I laughed so hard all day when I got home my face hurt. Then my brother and his girlfriend came over for a while, and my sister also joined us. My sister ate dinner with us and she brought over pastries.
Today, I need to get in the shower because I am meeting Em and her class at the skating rink. Then I will head to Target, get Steph a few things she needs, then maybe Em and I will take a ride over there and see her.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Recital was amazing! I do believe we had the best production ever this year. Emily was so beautiful. He ballet was Child of Mine by Carole King. This year her class was perfect. Beth did an amazing job with their coreography. The whole show rocked. I was especially proud of the company girls. They did their endless pirouttes perfect! It was also extra special because we had some danceurs from Jofrey's come and preform for the finale. My father had 2 hours sleep and had worked 18 hours before the show and was going back to work at midnight and I told him to leave after Em's number, but he was so facinated he stayed until the curtain call! I think he was really a proud papa last night. I must say, we run Nashville's top dance studio and we turn out the most beautiful dancers. I feel so blessed to have married into this family and to be a part of such an amazing studio. Dolly and Jenny, you guys are doing an amazing job as directors.
Jenn took the girls to see Finding Nemo today. They had a blast.
Friday night we had a Wellington Place Pose party. I fucking hate LINDA, and quite frankly so does everyone else. She has to be the most obnoxious idiotic moronic person that ever wasted space on this earth. I didn't know who was going to beat the shit out of her first, me or Laura.
Jesus, she is a fucking whack job.
Ugh! Tomorrow I am going to rock her world! Or atleast keep her inside so the whole neighborhood doesn't hear her stupid bitch trap for a while.
I am going up to the shop and getting a gallon of friction modifier and I am gonna cake it all up under her deck. Friction modifer is the most foul smelling stuff ever made. NOTHING can compare. Not a skunk that has been dead on the road in 100 degree weather for 15 days can even compete. Oh, I hate her. You guys just don't understand!
Chris is getting ready to grill some steaks and we made (well Schwans made) us some artichoke dip and bread, if any of you reading this can get Schwans, man their stuff is awesome.
The doggies got a bath today and smell fruity fresh and they are so soft. We took them out for their nightly walk and after they get their baths the walk all proud. I guess they feel good, lol.
I got my stuff from the Southern Living party I went to. I love the Dress Me Up platter and plate. I can't wait to go get some ribbon tomorrow.
Emily has a dental cleaning tomorrow. She is so excited about it, definately didn't get that from me, I hate the dentist :oops:
Well, we officially have a second grader. She is already worried about her first penance. She is such an angel. Our neighbors all speak so highly of her. Such a doll!
Jondra brought Corey over last night when we were outside taking pics before we left for Acuff and poor Corey wouldn't get his pic made with Em. I think having her hair slicked back and make up on scared him. He hid behind his mommy the whole time. Jondra was so sweet, she wished her good luck and then said "I just have to kiss you, but I promise I won't mess up your makeup" and kissed her forehead, it was so sweet.
Guess I better go eat.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

First and foremost: Welcoming Brody Alan to our family. June 4th 2003. 5:08 pm. 5 pounds 6 ounces 17.5 inches. Perfect little baby boy.
Secondly if my mother in law doesn't shut her mouth about us not having more than one child I am going to rip her a new asshole. Especially since I have been sitting on go lately!
Thirdly, WTF? Why does a grown 40 year old man find the need to harrass the shit out of my 7 year old daughter teasing her to tears saying she is in love with his 13 year old son. Whom she could care less about to boot! Grow the fuck up mister, or I won't just kick your obnoxious wife's ass but yours too.
Last night some idiots came through the neighborhood and shot up our houses with paintballs, ah the joys of living in a redneck town durning summer break. Daryl was out and got hit so he called the cops. They just better pray they don't shoot at me because I won't stop to think if it is a real gun or not, I will just react.
Chris called and left messages for everyone and their brother yesterday, he told them that we are fixing this house and if they can't do it and do it now we will find someone else.
I am having second thoughts about doing the calendar. I just don't know if I want to. I don't know if I will feel up to it, although the past few days have been good ones, but when you have good days and bad days ya never know.
I ordered all of Emily's new bedding and stuff from Pottery Barn Kids the other day. I didn't do too bad, came in under budget. We got the dandelion set. I got her the quilt, 2 sets of sheets, 2 shams and some odds and ends all for under 600, not bad at all.
Now all I have to do is get the house FIXED so we can resume our lives!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

THE BALL IS ROLLING, AMEN! THANK GOD, HOW SOON CAN WE GET THIS NIGHTMARE OVER?

Talked to the contractor today in charge of the remediation. They are putting the immediate plans together and hope to get started within the next couple of weeks! Goal is to have this place finished by the first of August, actually I want it finished by the middle of July, but I guess I have to be realistic. There is a whole lot of work that we know needs to be done, rerouting the plumbing, replacing the duct work, new hvac systems, all new wood under the house, new floors, new cabinets, new countertops, new furniture, the only thing we are not sure of yet is the dry wall. Boy this is gonna be one big mess, but it will be over soon, woooo hoooo!

On another note, Chris had a miserable day at work. Obviously the head air bag engineer was there with the president of FMC. There must of been one hecky of a wrecky around here involving a car in which the airbag did not deploy. The conclusions are 1. wouldn't of matter at all and 2. the entire thing happened so fast that the system shut down before it could react (meaning the person was going atleast 125 mph). So people, slow the hell down and don't drive drunk.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

When your air bag light comes on you do not have an airbag, bottom line. It will not deploy, and with the computers these days, even after you crash it, codes can be pulled. No easy money for you morons.

As soon as baby is released from the hospital we are going to meet them at their house with Outback. I love their rack of lamb.
I got a very nice white pants suit for reunion tomorrow night. I can't decide what shoes, I think my silver ones or maybe the gold. Emily was my little fashion critic at the boutique today. So funny, I could hear everyone laughing at her comments coming out of the dressing room.
Now, it better stop freaking raining.
Patty canceled on lunch for today, uh, like I didn't see that happening. She called last night and made sure we were still on then called this morning to say she had too much house work to do, or maybe something better with her new "fat" friend came up. Anyway, we went and had a lunch date with daddy. Emily always loves that. Then she found the biggest dandelion ready to blow we have ever seen. She ran all around the shop with that thing blowing it on everyone.
Then shopping, then to the Disney store to buy a gigantic Nemo. He is so cute, I want one.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

This is the one week out of the year that I so long to live back home, it is the redneck convention aka: FANFAIR! UGH, you can't fucking go anywhere. Like being prisioners in your own home.
We went to Palmas then out to Olive Garden to meet up with Bobby to give him his check and get C's gun. It is pretty nice.
I pigged out so much on burritos that I had no room for Tiramisu at OG. Oh well, with this damn contract I really don't need that shit anyway. The photographer is picking up the test shots tomorrow. I am silently hoping that I am not going to work out. But, I doubt that will happen from the way he is talking. Oh my, why do I always bite off more than I can chew.
I am also sick and tired of the working mothers who think I am their back up baby sitters, no more. Leave me alone or quit trying to keep up with the Jonses and stay home and raise your own damn kids, I don't want to keep them. I don't need your "extra money".

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

What a day. First, off to bring lunch to the new parents and to visit baby Brody, they finally let him come home today, which I am glad they kept him the extra night, can never be too safe with a preemie. Then off to the salon. I got my brows touched up while C got his hairs cut. They convinced him to buy the shampoo that helps regrow lost hair Blum 3 It was either try that or shave it. Let it go buddy, let it go.
While we were there he bought me a gift certificate as an early anniversary gift. I about died when I opened it, I figured it would be for a day at their spa, but it was to get my hair straightened he set the appointment up and everything (I was wondering why the owner was playing with my hair and talking bout how long it has gotten). So, June 17th I get to toss out the ole straightening iron. I still can't get over how much it costs, they said to expect to spend about 700 bucks :shock: for the first treatment. Followups won't be that bad. Oh well, definately gonna be worth it.
We get home to our neighbor pacing waiting on us, the verdict is in they also have toxic mold. This just sucks ass. They have 2 babies and no family in town to stay with.
This is just crazy, what is the deal with new construction these days. This doesn't happen without cause in older homes. Something needs to be done about this, especially with the cost of these damn houses.
Well, I have to get ready for the big reunion now. I hope it doesn't rain, I don't feel like wearing see through clothes.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

The reunion was so nice, the new campus is nicer than any college campus could even dream of being. I just can't wait until I am the proud mommy of a little Ryan girl myself. The music was way too loud for people trying to talk and catch up though.
Boy, isn't it funny how things just happen. I signed the contract to do the calendar and yesterday this photographer called my mother trying to find me. His assistant used to work with her and told him about me. He requested I come do test shots today for a billboard and a run in the paper. So, I dressed like a little teeny bopper at his request and went downtown to the studio. Boy did I ever take a wrong turn off the 2nd and 4th exit though. I ended up u turning in the middle of a one way street and going 70 mph back to the interstate, at that point I was praying to get pulled over. The shoot was actually fun and from what the photographer says I am pretty much in. I will know tomorrow.
Em is at mom and dad's. This was the weekend from hell with that damned family of my ex's. And to make it worse, I think he is back on the crack wagon. My gut has never failed me before.
Em seems glad to be at my parents' house again. I also let her take all of her new bedding and stuff over there to use until the house is fixed.
Now, she is waiting for me to bring her light bright cube over so my sister doesn't have to share, they can each have one.
I am still pretty pissed off that ex mil called the school (which we pay out the ass for, not her) and signed Em up for the cheerleading camp which I had already told her no to 4 times. GRRRR. They also seemed to have kept all of Em's Ralphy clothes. I swear we didn't get back 5 RL shirts and 2 RL skirts. Maybe her Nanan is going to try to squeeze her still fat ass into them, hell if I know.
Nanan, wow, I had to get myself started. She is enough to make me want to pull every hair on my head out. She tries so hard to be Em's mommy. Okay, I am so not gonna go there right now. Ex mil called while I was at the shoot. Probably to tell me once again modeling is not appropriate when you have a child. FUCK you BITCH, it is not nude and it is a far cry from being a CRACK HEAD. GRRRRRRRRRR, OH, I just want a punching bag right now, or something.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

"Crack is whack"
Crack makes you leave a 7 year old home alone in the middle of the night. "She had the ducks and hens in bed with her". Uh, yea maybe in your mind they are capable of caring for her but in reality where the rest of us live, NO! NO, NO, NO, NO.
I just can't even believe that I lead myself to believe this day would never come again. What am I an idiot? Really, I have only been to school for how many years? I have only dealt with this addiction for almost 9 years. And I didn't see this coming? NIEVE, that is what I am. A NIEVE idiot.
Well, I don't even have the audacity to talk to Chris about the conversation I just had. Right now I just don't want to talk about it period.
I just want to put my head through the brick wall. And, who does "mommy dearest" blame, ME. WHAT THE FUCK?
"You really hurt him when you took Em back", "he really wasn't ready for it and didn't have enough time to let it sink in". Who the fuck cares anymore about his "precious porcelin feelings". I don't. And yea, I will spend "all the money in the world trying to relinquish his rights".
And Nanan, well you can kiss my skinny white ass bitch. I don't give a shit if you were bringing the Pope to town with ya this weekend, you still will not get my child. It is just not happening right now, so suck it up.

"When life throws you a curve ball, CORK you damned bat"

"My gut instincts have NEVER failed me, EVER"

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I just love this song. I just love blasting this song throughout my house right now.

"Because I Got High"

It's Like, I don't care about nothin man,
roll another blunt, Yea (ohh ohh ohh),

La da da da da da La, Da Daaa,
La da da da, La da da da, La da da daaa

I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
(La da da da da da da da da)
I am taking it next semester and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why
(why man?) yea heayy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why
(why man?) yea heayy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high

(La da da da da da da da da)
Now I am a paraplegic and i know why (why man?) yea heayy,
- because I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- because I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why, yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
(why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I got high [repeat 3X]

(La da da da da da da da da)

I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why (why man?) yea heyy,
- cause I'm high [repeat 3X]

La da da da da da, La da da da, Shoop shooby doo wop.

Now, why didn't I write this damn song.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

For some reason I am the queen of laundry today. I even broke out the iron.
Changes are happening at the trs. S is ousted today. I believe B will be next. Thank God for that latter one, but I feel so sad for S.
What can ya do though? Hope that the winds of change bring in better leaves.
Like a dumbass, I let the paternal grandparents get my sweet Em for dinner tonight. I insisted she be returned (in one piece) by 7 sharp. We still have a 15 min ride over to my parents after that to take her home and she needs bath and reading and relaxation time before tucking her in.
My husband is so sweet. He bought me the most beautiful card. It refers to life before me and after me. I just am amazed that he can be so perfect all of the time. He works his ass off all day and then comes home and cooks and cleans. So today, I busted on the laundry for him. He always does it. I don't even think he thinks I know how, lol.
We didn't get any hellacious storms today, tg. But the night is not done yet. We still haven't a final estimate, but good news is that once that rolls in the work begins and it should take a month max, according to the contractor.
I am happy to say that maybe things are looking up. The day they begin work here, I will be rescheduled for my final transplant evaluation. The one where I will get typed and poked and of course another psych evaluation. I just hope I can get a live related or unrelated and don't have to go into the registry.
All for now, my baby sister is here and I should go spend some one on one time with her. We never get to do that because she is only 3 years older than her niece.
*Do your laundry everyday, it is so much easier that way, and when you get the house fixed, go ahead with the plans to add an additional washer and dryer*

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so sick and tired of hearing people around me complain about their ailments. My sister is having her wisdom teeth pulled and has made such a major fucking production over it. WAAA, WAAAA, WAAA, cry me a damn handful. So, your jaw hurts, we heard you the first five hundred and eighty three times you told us. You are having your teeth pulled, no I will not cancel my hair appointment to take care of you the next day. Jesus, you will be able to walk. Last time I checked your wisdom teeth were not located on your toes.
Ah, so you have a sore throat? Gee I am so sorry. Could you stop telling me how bad it hurts and how you think you are going to die? Can you, I mean really, when is the last time I told you that it takes an act of God for me to pick my head up off my pillow every morning. Oh, and when is the last time I told you that it sucks being tied to a machine every other day for 3 hours or more. When is the last time I told you that the smell of your fruity body spray is enough to make me puke, since I can do that pretty much on demand now. So, you are 8 months pregnant and your feet are swollen, cry me a river. See me in two months, mine will still be bigger.
I am so sick of it. I never complain about feeling like a mac truck hit me and backed up and did it again on a daily basis. Stop complaining to me, find a healthy person who gives two shits, because guess what family, I don't. So, when is the last time you asked me how I felt, ummmm, you don't? And know what if you did I would tell you I am doing well, because you see, I do not pitty myself, nor do ask others to pitty me. I go about my daily business. So get over your tooth ache and belly ache and next time you want sympathy for staying out at a concert late and having a sore throat, think about the person you are complaining to.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today was a good day, for the most part dh and I just hung out on the deck. Peaceful, too. Noisy bitch wasn't out all day. It is amazing that through all of the trees her voice still manages to pierce my ears. It seems to bother the dogs too. I finally showered at 3 and got ready to go to dinner with mom and the girls. She took them to church first. She always has the third degree about the church thing with me. I go, sometimes, but it is hard still. It just reminds me of death for some reason. Maybe because in the last year I have attended 3 funneral masses, on of which was for my beloved Grama. God, I miss having her to lean on sometimes so much that all I can do is cry. It is so hard to miss someone so bad.
Talked to P today, they had a blast in Vegas. She is now ready to tackle the big city with me. That will be a blast. I think my cousin will be out of town in a couple of months. I can arrange for tx up there and we can have our apt. to ourselves. It is so hard to bring friends home with us, hard enough with 4 people in 800 sq. ft. Let alone 6. Oh well, they do pay rent and at this point we don't use it enough to justify it sitting empty 49 out of 52 weeks.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So anyway, we had dinner at the phouse tonight. I really did aweful at dinner, 10 oz prime rib, baked potato, loads of ranch dressing. Oh well. I can't eat plain veggies and fruit all of the time. Plus I felt a little anemic today, anything to avoid the dreaded metal shot. It hurts like hell. After dinner dh and I stopped at lowes and got his pressure washer. We surely needed one bad. I was surprised, it was on sale for 417. Not too bad, I think when we looked last year it was 5something. I actually love to pressure wash stuff. It is so rewarding to me. And we made sure to get one with big off road type tires so we can do the fence.
After that we went to mom and dad's to tuck miss em in. I can't wait for normallcy in our lives again. Still no final estimate. Since C is on vacation this coming week we will have all the time in the world to harrass the shit out of people and get this moving already. They said they would know how much weeks ago, and does it matter, just come start, we have the money anyway, we are just going to take it out of savings.
I have to start packing some shit up. There are some things in this house that these idiots are just not going to touch. Especially things like my Lladro, Villeroy & Bach and dh's great aunt's table that is over 100 years old. Not to mention all of the clothes I just washed and put in rubbermaid containers. I refuse to send them to the dry cleaners. It would cost a fortune and besides once the moisture issue is fixed the mold can't grow anymore. I have realized that I own way too many pairs of jeans while doing laundry. And that I need to have 2 washers and dryers, too.
C really wants to go to the cabin for a few days towards the end of the week. I don't know if I want to go. It is such a pita. But, it is peaceful and serene there. Maybe we will maybe we won't.
Tomorrow is another day of scrubbing and packing. When the contractor calls I am going to be sitting on go.
I suppose we are putting the motorcycle in the wheels and deals Monday. It is just not getting used and every time we ride some asshole disrespects us and that scars us. It seems nobody around here knows how to keep their cars between the mustard and the mayo. And I abhore women drivers, especially those in suvs and minivans. Why is it 9 out of 10 women are shitty drivers. They never pay attention. Maybe they have too many damned kids in their car with them distracting them.
I think we are just going to give my dad some money for father's day. He can go play a few rounds of golf or something. We picked fil up a gift card at lowes tonight. I doubt we will see them as they went up to the cabin for the weekend. I don't have much to say to mil anyway. Ever since C's cousin has had this baby all I hear is how much she wants another grandbaby. Sorry lady, the first one was enough for me. I never had children in my cards and even when the though did cross my mind it was one. No bickering, no not fairs, no worrying about spending equal on the kids at holidays. I love my only. Spoiled rotten (although you would never know it from her behaviour) Princess Em. Yup that is all I need. So hound your other son for another, maybe they will give in to your wants. Seeming how they can't afford the ones they already have, hell what's one more from them, besides the only reason you do this to me is because you refuse to get past the "stepgrandaughter" thing. Well your son doesn't consider her his step child so get over it.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Remediation is supposed to be officially started tomorrow, we'll see. How many times have I heard that before.
Em is at Bay's for the night. I haven't spoken with my parents since the incident yesterday. Dh sold his old pick up to my brother. The thing may have been old but it was a cherry, so to say. Well, all of a sudden my bro decided he doesn't want the truck. Just a little fishy that a 17 year old would render himself transportation less overnight. So, what does dh do, writes him a check at the restaurant and takes the keys. No big deal. Until I realized my husband was driving 25 fucking miles per hour down the road, the speed limit is 45. I got behind him, turned the radio down, rolled down the windows and heard the most god aweful sounds ever. I pulled infront of him and stopped at a parking lot where he followed me in. Transmission, done, truck driven with the fucking transmission hung in 2nd gear has obviously fried the engine. He calls my mother and tells her that he wants his check back. Take the truck to my parents mind you driving 15 miles to their house going about 25 mph the whole way. Get the check and my father decides to argue with dh about the fact that darling, do no harm (yet gets randomly piss tested at school for being busted smoking pot) brother couldn't have possibly tore up the truck. Bull fucking shit! Fuck you all. We gathered Emily and her belongings, all but her tv, dh would rather buy a new tv than rip the seat in my car and head home. I need this fucking bullshit like I need a 20 gauge shell in my fucking head! I am so over this. We give, they take, we give, they need more, so we give and all they can give me is a huge fucking headache and more stress than a healthy person needs.
I am over them. I know I have said it before, but this time as much as it pains me I am DONE!

Now, on to life. Last night we went and bought princess a new tv. Those things sure have come down since I last bought one that size. Got an awesome deal. She wanted so bad for her daddy to buy her the Hello Kitty tv but it was only a 13 inch and the custom tv shelf is for a 27, she wouldn't even be able to see that silly thing from her bed, it was so small. So, she settled for the big one (poor kid, right?). When I was a kid all of my brothers and sisters had nice big color tvs with cable. What did I get, a stupid little black and white tv that dad had since his childhood (so basically the first tv) with no cable. Supposidly I was the "bad child".

Today was bitter sweet in a way. I had to have Emily up and ready to be at her playdate by 10. Wow, I am way out of practice. And of course her room is far from organized.

If I make it until Saturday without washing my hair it will be a miracle. I just hope it is really straight now. And even if it turns out perfect, I don't know if I will ever go through that process again. My neck still hurts. They straighten it by putting two things on, no biggie there, but each time they had to rinse it for 15 minutes. That sucked ass. I couldn't lean back in the shampoo chair because they had to rinse my neck. So basically I sat straining my neck the whole time. By the end I was near tears.
I did realize something in the time I was there, I could never do hair.
I am not one to get "personal" with my stylist, but boy some of those people held nothing back.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I hate my fucking family. I hate my fucking family, oh, wait, I already said that. Well, I guess there isn't much on my mind right now aside from that. My stupid fucking sister has "cancelled" having her husband's birthday party here (which I have already spent a wad of my own money on) because what we did to my brother and parents was wrong. Wait one fucking minute, you mean to tell me we should have given back the amount paid for a truck bought 3.5 weeks ago in perfect shape that now no longer runs.
Cry me a fucking river, please.
Get over yourselves and when you need this that or the other, do not and I repeat do not call me.
You all can no longer exist in my life, I don't care.

Well, atleast that frees Sunday night up for the HBO new season. I would hate to miss Sex and the City and the Sopranos. Plus now we can go to our "mayor's" picnic.
Why does my family have to be so insanely stupid? Jealous? Irrational?
Why?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Chris's cousin bought a bike identical to ours so we went and rode today. There is something about riding, I don't know what it is, but it is the one time when there is not a single thought in my mind. Nothing, the wheels stop. And when it is over, it is almost heartbreaking. When we turn onto our street I just feel so let down.
I know I have too many things that run through my mind at one time. I wish I could shut my brain off. Maybe then I could sleep at night. Everyone says writing it down helps, maybe I should write double?:roll:
Who knows?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Before I left for pottery tonight I had to drill c on what Em needed :oops:
They both kept saying "bye" a million times. It's just been so long.
When I got home he had cooked her favorite dinner, chicken in salsa sauce and rice, and was getting her rounded up for shower, book and bed. While I was in the laundry room I started to cry. Her bathroom is directly above the lr and I heard her singing in the shower. It was the sweetest thing I think I could ever hear. I am so happy my baby is home. Maybe the house will be finished soon and everything can go back to our "normal".

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I don't know why this is bothering me so much, but I have started to wonder if anyone in my family will call me Friday to wish me a happy birthday. I was talking to ex mil on the phone this morning about it, she said she would call me. It bothers her when I don't talk to my parents. And she knows my parents and she knows it's like talking to a fucking brick wall even when we do speak.
Emily had her friend to DeeDees and us adults and kiddos scrapbooked today. It was really fun.
My neighbor is shooting fireworks and the boys don't like it one bit. They are raising hell and of course dh is trying to watch The Wire. I can't say as I blame them though, one of my biggest fears is fireworks, imagine that, born on the fourth of July and afraid of fireworks.
I don't guess we will do much for my bday. Dh asked what I wanted today. What do I want? I have no ideas. I asked him to give me some figures, he said no. So, anyone reading this feel free to offer up some suggestions.
We had a lovely anniversary. We went to Palmas for dinner and also celebrated Emily's making the company. She is so proud. I got dh a "modern" gift. Our blender has always sucked so I broke down and bought him the KitchenAid he wanted. He was really surprised.
Our dear friend lost his mother suddenly this week. It was very sad.
The doctor put me back on Clonidine for my blood pressure. Mega doses, too. So I officially have Clonidine brain now. I still can't believe they give this shit to allegid add kids, which I can't even believe parents really think that shit exists anyway. It is such a crock. But Clonidine, no wonder your kid is mellow, they are in a drug induced "duh".

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Dh and Em are out birthday shopping. I hope they give it to me when they get home, I am not a patient person.
They went out to eat, too. I think it is so cute when he takes her out, not many dads do that sort of thing.
We get to register for our cruise tomorrow at 9. I can't wait. Hopefully if C and Bobby register at the same time all will go well and we will get the same date, we really want to go together. Should be fun. They have a dialysis center on the boat, isn't that cool :roll: . Maybe I will be transplanted by then, who the hell knows. It will still be fun, I guess. I will just set it up to have tx at night, like after midnight if I can. They will send more info on that for me though. They'll even cater to my diet (like I won't cheat, ha!)

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Less than 3 hours until my birthday. I can't believe I will be 27. Dh and I started dating right after he turned 27. He told me today that he thought he "felt" old then, but I don't seem to be "old". Who knows what that ment, but I guess I will take it as a compliment.
I got a beautiful watch, a new Coach purse and Emily got me a cute little Coach keychain. It's the shape of a dog bone.
My stomach is in knots for some reason, I guess because I know good and well my family won't be calling me tomorrow. Oh well, as Chris said tonight, I won't have to hear my mother and her famous phrase "27 years ago today, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
We are going to Jen's at 4 tomorrow. Then my in laws are throwing a party for me on Saturday.
Not much else is new. Emily was rather needy today. She wouldn't play outside without me (even in the back, which is fenced). She was rather whiney, too. I guess she is getting pretty bored.
I had a renal ultrasound on Tuesday and they called today. My left kidney is shrinking and they can't find the artery. Oh well. They don't work anymore anyway. No big newflash there. But it is just weird knowing that a part of my body is shriveling up and rotting inside of me, okay, it's gross.
That's all for now. I will be back as a 27 year old. Oh boy, right?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I woke up this morning to the news announcing that Barry White has died. I can't stand hearing those few little words, cause of death: kidney failure and high blood pressure. He had started dialysis in September of last year.

Had a great birthday, my parents did not call, but at this point, I am better off without them in my life. My sister stopped by the party for 2 minutes. She bought me a box of doughnuts for my birthday. That was nice of her.
The guys lit off some pretty fireworks for us, and that was intresting. Especially the one Chris lit and turned and said "I don't know what this one does" and it flew right into the crowd.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today has been a very trying day.
Had a wonderful birthday party last night given by dh's family. Got lots of nice gifts, too. I received a beautiful chaffing dish from my mil. I can't wait to use it.
The crew met over here this morning and we set out for a pleasant Sunday ride. Decided to not do breakfast because it was beginning to drizzle. Headed back to the house. Got to the fork in the road and noticed that our other two bikes were not behind us. Stopped and waited for a sec, then decided to turn around. Chris's cousin had gone down. I was a wreck as soon as we arrived on the scene. He was okay, he was able to eat the grass instead of the pavement as he had time to think it through when he realized he wasn't coming out of the curve. Some grass rash, helmet damage and major bike damage, but needless to say, he walked away. I thought it would make me rethink this whole riding thing, but it's like riding a horse, fall down and immediately get back on, and that is exactly what all 4 of us did. I just want to say thanks to the ten asshole cars that drove by and didn't even phathom stopping to see if he was okay. Fuck you all. You nondriving mother of fuckers are the reason he went down in the first place, stay in your own fucking lane when driving.
Good to get that off my chest.
Now, off to try and sleep, HA.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Just got back from the ER with Emily. 10 stitches to the chin. She was riding the 50 and stopped, sat there for a minute and dropped the bike, catching (somehow?) her chin on the handle bars. Ugh.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Why does my sister still call me? Why? Drama, drama, drama.
Why is it she asks me what is wrong and I tell her I am tired and I get "why are YOU tired?", "I worked until one this morning", I feel like screaming good for you, you fucking healthy ass 20 year old bitch who works til one and sleeps until after noon. Pin a pretty red rose on your fucking nose.
On a good note, I have a new transplant team and all systems are go and being expedited. It should all move quickly from here. I have waited for this to come for so long now. I was never supposed to be on dialysis. It was planned to go direct to transplant, then enter the mold. Which, I don't even want to go there with the mold. What an aggrevating day with these idiots.
Emily is feeling well, playing, eating, running, jumping. She seems to have very minimal discomfort. Cor and Reg brought her by a present, she got the new Lizzy McGuire CD, tomorrow she wants us to buy her a new cd player (hers was mine in high school) and that is much better than her original request of a weim puppy, and Jen L is sending her a gift packet in the mail. Oh, and the mommy and daddy got her a beautiful bouquet of roses and wildflowers and a big nemo balloon and a small get well balloon. I think she will heal just fine.
The doctor actually did a fabulous job. I think he should be in plastics instead of emergency. I have never seen such a beautiful job before.
Going to read a mag. now. Clonidine brain forgot to wash clothes today and well dh needs socks so I must stay up (shouldn't be a problem for me) and finish his clothes he started. He is so perfect.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I haven't felt good at all this weekend. I am having major potasium problems, too. Which is really stressing me out. I can't get this shit figured out for the life of me. I told Chris that if I am still having this pain, I am going to go to the er and get my levels checked again. He says he agrees with me.
Which brings me to another thing that bothers me, why do people use the emergency rooms as their primary care doctors? That aggrevates the beloved shit out of me. Why if I have to go to the er, because my dialysis is not going right and I could be potentially fatally sick, do I have to be exposed to your funk. Wait and call your doctor.
We didn't do much this weekend. I slept for the most part or laid in bed. Friday night our godson's mother called at 7 looking for a sitter so they could go schmooze with the boss or whatever. Well I told her I was good for a couple of hours max. Chris went with me, they didn't come home until after 1. I was so sick and felt like ripping them a new asshole, don't they understand a couple means 2, 3 max. Don't they know that you can't just miss a night on the machine. Chris was fuming and what were we to do, it wasn't like we could leave the kids alone. He offered for me to go home but what good would that of done, I can't possibly hook myself up and that was the main reason I was puking my brains out. Then the baby got up to eat and the smell of the formula made me hurl more, thank god Chris helped out. Lesson learned.
We decided we needed to go to Church more regularly. It is so easy to sleep in on Sundays when you haven't slept the night before, but we both agree it makes us feel so much better when we go. So we went to the 9. I guess my mother is going to the 9 now. I didn't see her, okay, well I did as we were in the car leaving I saw her and molly. Well get this shit. She calls my sister and says "guess who I saw at church", so my sister calls here and tells dh. Can we be any more fucking childish people, my sister was like "yea she said she saw you", well maybe she should get off her high horse and say something. Not that I would of acknowledged her at this point this bull shit is so far gone. I spoke to my aunt yesterday and she had called my mom friday night because they had an officer killed the exact way we lost our two this week. My Aunt told me (to my surprise) that my parents and family are the ones being stupid. For me not to worry about it. That I have more important things. Wow, for someone who has only heard their side of the story, wow. Goes to show just how stupid they are acting.
Sex and the City was really good tonight. I about died over the scrunchie part. I wouldn't be caught dead with one in my hair outside of this house, a ponytail with hair wrapped around the band, yes but a scrunchie, no. Emily doesn't even wear them.
Princess goes to Brownie camp tomorrow. Tuesday morning before camp we go to get the stitches out, hopefully.
I read the entire book that JennL sent me for my birthday yesterday. Summer Sisters, by Judy Blume. I couldn't put it down, I think it took me about 10 hours off and on. Great escape.
I tried to upload some pics into my album here tonight, I really want a siggy, but after two hours of uploading Nada, it just kept going and going and going and nothing. Same it did last night. Very frustrating.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Why wasn't I born Irish? Why am I Italian? Why?
When it comes to luck, oh, I have it alright but it is all BAD. It just keeps coming and coming and coming and coming and coming and coming. Man.
Will it ever end? I ask Chris this all of the time. He keeps telling me yes, but every day it seems like another stroke of bad luck comes our way.

On another note, Steph and I took baby Brody on his first shopping adventure today. We went to Opry Mills. I didn't think I would be up to it but, it felt good to get out. Brody did awesome. What a sweet baby he is. Then I picked princess up from Brownie camp, she had a blast. Then I had the asshole force me to drive VicE through the damned oil slick and oh how easily a good day can go bad.
Now, C is in the driveway trying to get each spot of oil off of my car. The driveway from where I rinsed the car looks like somebody came and did a shity pave job over the aggregate. Oh I could just scream.
On another good note though, I finally did some research on Dr. Wigger. I think I will like him. He isn't sexy like my last guy was, but oh well, not why I am there, right? I think I will like the group at St. Thomas. Although I was comfortable with the Centennial group already. I am not big on change.
Going to make Em her dinner now and hopefully get some pics into my gallery. Hopefully it will work tonight, Em has grown so much I would love for people to be able to see her.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

There's that damn luck again. FedEx allegidly left the diag. card that we have been desperately needing for the shop at my backdoor. Funny, how would he access my backdoor since it is behind a locked 6 foot privacy fence with two stranger hating weims on the other side? So, I call FedEx, the package was supposidly insured, it was not. I am fuming, and the shop really needs this, one of the others has taken a shit. So what does FedEx say, we'll ask the driver to retrace his steps, you'll hear from us in about 48 hours. WTF!!!!!!
I am just so confused as to why I get out of bed every morning! Everything I touch turns to shit.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

If my FedEx package was delivered to my back door how then do you explain it on my front door step the very next day?
Oh well, we finally got it.
Didn't sleep last night, slept for a few hours this morning and while I did my sweetheart cleaned the kitchen and did some wash, how sweet. I watched Sesame Street this morning at 5 o'clock, I hadn't watched that since Em was about 3! No Wegman skits this one though. Bummer.
I am starting to get really nervous about Tuesday. Hopefully it will all go smooth and I will be matched in no time. If I don't get a live match, the average wait for my statistics is three years. I don't know if I can go three more years like this.
Saw Bo and Holli and the kids last night. 8 more weeks until number four arrives. Bless her! I don't know how she manages.
My sister's mil had her stomach stapled on Thursday. Everything seemed to have gone well. After Brian's mom died of obesity I am glad to see Edye do it. I think for some people it is worth the risk. I just don't understand how they can get their nutrients merely eating such a small portion. I hope this works for her though. The only thing they are worried is that she likes to drink alcohol and the doctors told her that would be a major no after the surgery, maybe it will be a double blessing then?
Emily truely enjoyed Brownie camp. I was amazed at the things they did all week. Very impressive on $35! The cutest thing aside the t shirt and pillowcase would have to be the flower person. I love it. They took a fake flower and used a large beed and embroidery thread and pipe cleaners and made a "flower girl". Very cute.
Next weekend she is going to six flags in loserville and then the week of the 4th she has company dance camp. Summer is ending quickly. Gosh, the public school kids in our neighborhood go back Aug. 4th. Not far away at all.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I can't believe how well I have done with this no smoking thing. It's not been easy.
I can't go to sleep, I have horrible heartburn. I think it is from all of the sour skittles I have eaten this weekend.
We didn't do much of anything this weekend. I cleaned the house some, got rid of some moldy furniture, and slept a whole lot. We went to church this morning then instead of going out to eat I convinced Chris to go to Publix and get what we need so he can make me french toast. He makes the best french toast in the world!
Emily is having Bay over tomorrow to play. The air quality specialist is coming at noon. And we are less than 36 hours away from the big day for me. I can't wait to get this show on the road.
I put a picture of the baby boys in my gallery and just wanted to post it here. I love this picture.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so anxious I can't sit still. I am also dying to smoke a cig! Will the desire ever go away? So, in less than 12 hours we will be at ST. Thomas. I am excited I probably won't sleep tonight, well, that wouldn't really be different from any other though.
On another note, my sister is going through a tough spot. Her husband got fired from his job. And now he has changed his mind about starting school in a couple of weeks to become a police officer, he doesn't want to do that either anymore. I wonder about him, really I do. He is a great person, but just doesn't seem ambitious, kwim? Love him to pieces but don't expect much of him.
My poor sister, I know she is stressed out but won't bother me with it right now. When I asked why he was home tonight she said she would tell me in a few days, I pulled it out of her. She didn't want me to be burdened with petty things tonight.
As for the old family, aside from my sister NADA. Of course my mother told my sis that she saw me at church again. WTF?
I have made it completely clear that the only family member from that side of my family that will be permited at the hospital will be my sister and hopefully it will be to give me her kidney. Otherwise I don't want their obligated visits! I don't want them period. Family for sale! Crazy, money hungry, jealous Family! I'll sell em for a dime.
Princess is spending the night with the Dee Dee, Pop Pop and Frank Daddy crew. They didn't want her to worry tomorrow. They think she oblivious to the fact. Meanwhile I don't hide a thing from her. She is smart and she is old enough and I have been sick since she was born so this is all she knows anyway. Plus she deserves to know, I mean honestly this could kill me.
Well, on that morbid note, the dryer is done and I am determined not to have to redry anything.

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