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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

long-winded: (adj) tediously long in speaking or writing

This is me to a tee. Be prepared for long journal entries.

I've had a somewhat crappy day. This is actually the 4th time I've tried starting this journal today. I just couldn't get my feelings sorted out for some reason.

I think the basic thing is that I'm kind of disappointed with my life right now. Not with the fact that I'm married with 2 kids, a SAHM, or anything like that. I'm very happy and thankful for my family and that I'm able to stay home with my girls. I wouldn't change any of that for anything. But I am disappointed with how our life is.

I guess that I assumed that by this point, we'd own a house. Be settled someplace. I'd be driving the true grocery-getter, the minivan. We'd have nicer things. We'd get to take a family vacation every year. We wouldn't be rich by any means, but we would OK every week. It's just not like that. We don't own anything, not even our 1 and only vehicle. We still have 2 years of payments on that. We're very deep in debt, which is preventing us from doing most of the things I'd hoped we'd be doing. I think that's the biggest thing of all. I'm disappointed that we're not better with money. We were doing OK with it. But in the past 3 years we've dug ourselves deeper and deeper. I'm very resentful about it.

It's such a universal issue. So many people out there worry about money. Yet no one thinks anyone else has the same problems they have. That they're the only ones in the world that have that particular problem. It's not true, of course. But it's still my biggest worry.

I day dream about winning the lottery. We never play, and even if we did I know we won't ever when. But dreaming never hurts. I'd pull our credit report and pay off everything dh and I owe. Then I'd have some fun, pick out a van and a house. Make sure my kids have money for college. Buy a digital camera. The possibilities are endless. But it won't ever happen and I know I'm wasting my time thinking about it. I saw today on TV a woman had bought a painting like 20 years ago for $5. She had it in storage for years, then found out that it was a Jackson Pollack, worth $20 million. Now why can't *I* stumble onto something like that?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Phew! Busy day today! We had company coming over twice today, so my morning was spent cleaning and straightening. At lunch we had some friends come over. They were in town for the game yesterday and were driving home today, but wanted to see the girls before leaving town. It was fun to see them because they just got engaged and are getting married in just less than a year. I hope we can see them again soon.

About 15 minutes after they left, my mom, sisters and stepdad came over. My mom's birthday was yesterday. I couldn't get her a gift right now, but I did bake a cake and had candles. Molly insisted we blow up some balloons and hang them. And when Momma came in, we had to yell "Surprise Grandma!" and sing happy birthday. It was actually pretty cute. Molly was very pleased with herself.

My stepdad got bored with all us women talking, so he went outside and mowed our front yard. I'm not fond of my stepdad, but in the past year my feelings towards him have changed. He loves my children. He adores my children. And they really seem to enjoy him. I can't fault a person when they treat my children they way he does. He's done much more for them in the past 8 1/2 months than my own father has (long story). So I find myself actually liking the guy.

I made dinner, which turned out very well, and then they left. My mom brought both girls some new clothes. Nice!

I have to say that I'm a little bummed about something. While pg with Alexa, my mom pretty much ignored the fact that another baby was coming along. It hurt. I thought for sure that Alexa would be ignored and Molly would always be the apple of my mother's eye. Boy was I wrong! Now my mom--and everyone else for that matter--are all over Alexa. Molly has been left out a lot lately. It bothers me when they all come running for Alexa, "Can I hold her?" Not bothering to play with Molly the way they always did before A came along. Maybe it's just the fact that Alexa is a baby and people are naturally attracted to babies. But I feel badly for Molly for being left out so much.

I miss dh. Even though he's been good about taking time off in the mornings, I still feel like he's never here. I miss cuddling with him. I hope he gets finished early. Early would be midnight for them. But I doubt it.

I'm off the Pill this month. Not because we're TTC. It's because it has become outrageously expensive. Our insurance doesn't cover it, so we have to pay full price. As I told dh, we don't have sex often enough to pay that much for birth control. He agreed. So we're going to give condoms a couple of months try before deciding if we should try something else.

I'm tired. I was up late last night chatting. I didn't get to bed until 2. And my hands hurt because my mom brought me a bucket of peas to shell so I can freeze them. I just watched the rerun of the last season finale of "Charmed" and shelled away. Now my fingers are aching. I'm so not used to the farm life! I used to be, but I'm gotten "citified" in recent years.

Oh, and I got pretty ticked last night. Background: I try to keep in touch with 2 of my high school best friends. We used to email a lot when they were in college (I only attended for a couple of quarters). But it seems like of the 3 of us, I'm the only one most dependent on the internet. They kind of drifted off. So I like to give them a call every once in a while and just talk and catch up. It's usually one sided. Shannon never calls, neither does Cristy. But Cristy DOES write letters every once in a while. In fact, she's pretty good about writing every couple of months.

Last week I called them both. I called Shannon first. She had company in town though and couldn't talk very long. She said she'd give me a call sometime in the next couple of days. Surprise, surprise, she never did. (BTW, I called Cristy after that and we talked for--OMG--over 2 hours!) I was shocked when we got home from running errands yesterday and there was a message from Shannon. So I called her back last night. We said the usuall hellos and how are yous. Then she said she had a question and asked about starting solids. She had her first baby in May and he's got the OK to start them. We talked about that for a while. Then she was basically said, "Ok, well that's all I needed! Talk to you later!" I was ticked. Maybe I'm over reacting, but I thought we'd at least catch up a little bit while we were on the phone. I know she probably doesn't have time because she's got a baby, BUT her dh was there with her to help with the baby some. I was at home alone with 2 young children and still managed to make time to talk for a bit. We haven't talked in several months. There were some things I wanted to share with her and some things I wish she would share with me. So weird! In high school she was always a little self-centered, but in the typical "How's my hair" teenage self-centeredness. We even nicknamed her "Miss Perfect" because she had to have everything just so. But over the past couple of years I've started thinking she's actually selfish. Cristy and I have talked about it before. We were in her wedding 2 years ago and it was such a headache. I won't go into the details, but I was very happy when that was all over! Anyway, thinking about all this today has made me wonder WHY exactly I bother keep in touch with her. When we do talk, I never feel like we have anything in common anymore. I kind of feel like she looks down on me, actually. But then, maybe I'm just over reacting.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I got kind of ticked with Ira this morning. Nothing big, just ticked over his work schedule. I never know what to expect his schedule to be anymore. And he's not very forthcoming about it because he doesn't always know when he needs to go in until the very last minute. He had to go for some interviews a little while ago, but MAY take off from football practice this afternoon. But just as I plan on that, he'll call and say he really needs to be there or something and I bet he's going to be late. I'm glad my husband loves his job as much as he does, but he throws himself so entirely into it something that he can't see other things around him. I miss him.

Molly has school in the morning and he is planning on staying home with Alexa so I'll have some time to get out on my own. But what will I do? Hmmm. I just went to the library last week and I have a good supply of books to read, so I think that's out. Besides, I will probably take the girls to Story Time on Wednesday. Maybe I'll go walk around the mall a little bit. It's hard walking around the mall with no money though. Too much temptation. Maybe I'll hide out in our bedroom and read instead.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I didn't go out on my own this morning after all. It wasn't dh, I just didn't feel like it. We woke up late and I didn't get a shower before dropping Molly off at school and I hate going out in public without having shower. So, since I stank anyway, I mowed the back yard. We suck at yard work. Our lawn get mowed maybe once a month. It really needs it more like once a week. I'd do it more often, but with 2 young kids, it's just not easy to get out there and get it down. Dh never has the time.

Molly cried this morning at preschool after I left for work. I felt awful about it when the teacher told me. But she apparently had a good rest of the day because she was a chatterbox in the car! She even says she wants to go back. Hopefully she'll come to love it. She seems happy enough about it now.

Alexa still isn't crawling, but she has started pushing up on her hands and feet. She's so brave, this one. When we're holding her hands so she can stand up, she'll let go and lunge forward in a heartbeat. We have to keep an eye on her. This morning she was standing in her crib and let go and fell backwards, hitting her head on the slats on the other side of the crib. I wonder if all this bravery is a sign that she's going to walk early? She's certainly frustrated enough about not keeping up with big sis.

I made an appointment to take Alexa in for 9 month portraits. But the time I made it for is a time when she's usually napping. Hopefully she'll be in a good mood for it. I may call to reschedule.

I'm planning a yard sale for in a couple of weeks. My goal is to get enough money to buy a digital camera. I'm kind of looking at the new Gateway cameras. There's one I want for $199. I went through my jewelry box last night and pulled out a bunch of earrings and things that I never wear anymore. They're not worth much, but after figuring up everything I want to get rid of, it came to about $20. That with all the clothes and other things I have, I may very well make enough for that camera! That would be so cool. I've wanted a digital for a long time now.

While going through my jewelry box I came across my high school class ring. It hasn't fit in about 4 years so I never wear it. But I tried it on last night and it fit! Fit the same finger I had always worn it on, in fact. I lost 35 lbs last spring, but I've been bad this summer. I still want to lose another 20 lbs. I've got to get back into my good eating habits. Too many sweets lately.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I've had an awesome couple of days! Yesterday dh had to go out of town on an interview, just for a few hours. He went with a buddy of his as it wasn't really work related, but related to an outside project he's doing.

ANYWAY, I went to my mom's house. She lived about an hour away and the girls love to go there. We try to go about every other week. I've needed a haircut very badly, so I asked my mom if she would watch the girls for a while so I could go get it done. She agreed, but asked if I could run some errands for her too. (Her house is way out on the edge of the county and the town is actually towards the middle of the county, so it's about a 20-25 minute drive into town for her.) So I did that, then checked out some children's consignment shops there in town. It's amazing that there are more/better consignment places up in that small town than there are here in this big city! I got Alexa 3 outfits since she has NOTHING in her size for cooler weather. And I got Molly 1 outfit since she can still wear most of last year's winter stuff. I had a blinker on our car fixed real quick, the bulbs were blown and needed to be replaced.

Then I went to have my hair done. I really liked the girl who did it. I may start going there regularly, even though it's an hour away. My hair has been down to my shoulders, very straight and flat, and all one length. Very boring. I wanted something kind of hip, so I got kind of a flippy style. It's very cute, I think. I had some trouble styling it this morning, but I think it's because I didn't have any styling product to put in it. I bought some today that should help. But it's such a versatile style. It can flip out for a kind of hip look, or flip under for a more conservative look (I did this today since I couldn't get it too "flip" enough), or flip out only at the ends for a combo of both. I love it! It's nice having a real style again.

We met up with dh and a friend for dinner, then came home. Molly fell asleep in the car and I managed to bring her inside without her waking up. Alexa was way overtired and didn't fall asleep for a while after I laid her down. I finally had to give her a small bottle to get her calmed down and relaxed before she went to sleep. Molly was up this morning, about 4 o'clock, because she'd wet the bed. But after getting that taken care of, she went right back to sleep.

My mom gave me a laundry bushel of peas to shell and freeze. We'll have plenty of peas this winter! Too bad dh won't eat them. I'm hoping to get Molly and Alexa to eat them. Alexa will eat anything you put in front of her, but Molly is still very picky. I'm so excited to cook some, they're going to be so yummy. I've been shelling any chance I get so I can get them done before they dry out.

Today we went to the duck pond. They're doing some landscape work there and it's already looking SO nice. They've widened the sidewalk and planted some attractive greenery. And from what I understand they're going to build a bridge too. It's going to be lovely. We had a picnic there then took a little walk and feed some of the fish and ducks. It was hot when we started walking, but in the shade it was so nice and cool. We went there a lot last fall when it was cooler out, so I expect we'll go there a lot more in a few more weeks.

It was just a nice all around couple of days. Now back to the drudgery. I've got to do some laundry, though I may wait until tomorrow to get it all done. I need to vacuum too. My girls hate when I vacuum, but I hate doing it after they're asleep because of waking them up. Maybe tomorrow.

FIL is moving here. It was our idea for this to happen, and I'm fine with it even though the man will drive me insane. At least we won't revolve around one another like we did when we lived in MD. We have family and friends here besides him, so he won't be our only focus. Dh has been looking for an apartment for him and may have already found one. That would be awesome. That means he'd only have to stay with us for a night or two before moving in. He's going to be down here by the end of the month. As much as I dread having him close again, I can't help but feel badly for him. He's old, 73 already. And he's all alone. There is no one near where he lives so if something were to happen to him, no one would know for several days at least. Molly adores him and he, her. And I do want my girls to get to know him before it's too late. I knew all my grandparents and even 4 of my great grandparents. I want my girls to have that too.

I saw something last night on TV that I thought was interesting. Dr. Phil and Katie Couric had a special on about weight issues. I'm always complaining about my weight. I lost 35 lbs last spring, but could still lose another 20 lbs to be where I want to be. I try not to complain in front of my children, I don't want them to have the same weight issues I've had. (I thought I was fat at the age of 8 when I was actually average). Well, last night I heard several very good points. First of all, I had a "DUH" moment. Dr. Phil was talking to this girl who was overweight and her mother who was not. He looked at the mother and was like, "You're the one buying the junk, stop buying it!" For some reason hearing that made me think of our usual shopping trips. I'm always buying Koolaids, fruit snacks (the gummy kind), little candy things, etc. for Molly all the time. Why? It's not like she HAS to have them. Just the opposite. And maybe if I deal with a few tantrums over her not having M&Ms *now*, then in 10-20 years, she won't feel that urge to buy something sweet everytime she goes to a store the way I do now, and eventually have to worry about her weight. Make sense? I told dh we were going to stop buying junk for her. It's awful how we've spoiled her lately on that kind of stuff.

Also, Jamie Lee Curtis was on and she said something that was also kind like "DUH" but it just hit me between the eyes last night. She said we're like a mirror for our children. Our daughters stand behind us when we're looking in the mirror and complaining about having chunky thighs or fat hips, then grow up saying the same thing. I don't want that to become something either of my girls do. I want them to be happy with themselves for who they are and what they do, not how they look--even though they are absolutely beautiful!

So the end product of all this is that I want to start being better about things. I want them to know that sweets are OK every once in a while as a treat, but not something to have everyday. I want them to know that being a happy person is much better than having a pencil thin model figure. Hopefully I can do that for them.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Why can't 3 year olds entertain themselves? Unless she's watching TV, Molly can't keep herself entertained for very long at all. And I feel bad using the TV all the time to keep her occupied so I can accomplish some things around the house. She thinks our couch is a trampoline. I'm trying to break her of that because it's not nice to jump on the furniture. But then something I wonder why I should fight it. I'll have to go through it again in about a year with Alexa, so just let it go. Right now she's jumping as high as she can on the end cushion and holding her froggy Zoo Pal paper plate and singing, "Hop, hop Froggy" over and over again.

I have a headache. I've got to start getting to bed earlier. Last night I didn't go to bed until almost 1:30. Molly was up at 6ish using the bathroom and crawling into bed with us. Funny how we've never really let her sleep with us before, but in the past couple of weeks she's wound up in our bed every morning after a bathroom trip. Smile This morning she came in and whispered very close to my face, "Mommy, I flushed!" LOL I was like "Yeah, yeah, that's great. Now get under the covers and let Mommy sleep a little longer." She can be so cute!

Alexa is going to be 9 months old this Friday and she's still not crawling. She can, I've seen her move a few paces forward. But I guess it's not fast enough for her. She has to plop down on her tummy and commando crawl. She's pushing up on her feet and hands too. I wonder if she will walk before crawling?

Did I mention I have a headache? I think I'm going to get a glass of soda.

Oh, my hair flipped out today. Much better now that I have the styling spray the stylist recommended. I cheated though and got the cheap kind from Walmart, Thermasilk I think, instead of the salon version she suggested. Works the same! LOL

Dh will be off most of the day tomorrow. I wonder what we should do. Usually we try to do some kind of family thing when he has some time. Even if it's just to go to the park or the grocery store or something. I think the park would be an excellent idea in the morning. He can take Molly and I can stay at home with Alexa, and while she naps I can have some quiet time.

Dh is being great now about giving me time alone. I was alone for most of the day Friday while my mom watched the girls. And dh has let me have time while Molly's in preschool on Tuesdays and Thursday. It's been so helpful at making me feel a little better and less stressed.

I finished shelling my peas and they're now all stored in the fridge. I came out with 11 half quart bags of peas. I wish I had a deep freezer, I'd love to freeze some other veggies and things. Comes in so handy during the tight times. Growing up, my family relied on what they'd stored in the freezer or canned many, many times.

UGH. I have a headache.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Trying not to panic. I just entered a lot of reciepts into our checkbook register. Trying not to panic. I always freak out when I balance. It always seems like we have less than we really have. Ira is so good at figuring this stuff out, but he's awful at giving reciepts. I hope there is a receipt he forgot to give me. I'm trying not to panic.

I hate money. We're so deep in debt right now. Phone calls left and right because we're late on something. It sucks. I hate dealing with money. I hope we can get out of this mess soon. I don't see how, but I hope we do. It's not like we go on spending sprees or anything. We're just trying to LIVE. I get nervous about spending the extra $5 on toilet paper, much less all the other stuff we need. I've put off getting new shoes for myself and Ira for months now just so we could afford to get new clothes for the girls. Spending any amount of money makes me nervous because I know there's always a bill to pay. I'm thankful that we have a roof over our heads (even if it IS rented) and food on the table, and that my girls are both happy and healthy. It's easy to forget that stuff.

We're still waiting on our child tax credit check to come in. Most people got their's back at the beginning of August. Ours was delayed. We've called the IRS a few times to have it checked on. Apparently someone has entered dh's SS# on someone else's tax return by accident. Until that is fixed, they can't send us the credit. We supposed to have it by October 3rd. I really hope we get it soon. We're going to have to get new tags for our car next month, and our insurance is due for renewal. Getting that check would solve several problems.

I'm trying not to panic.

Molly had an accident at school yesterday. When we picked her up, the teacher stood there and told me about it while Molly was standing there, which ticked me off. Children understand more than we think they do, and I'm sure hearing her accident discussed embarrassed Molly. Anyway, apparently it was very messy and unpleasant. The teacher was very nice about it, but you could tell she didn't enjoy the experience. I hope that this will have a positive affect on Molly, maybe hearing someone besides Mommy say that she needs to go in the potty will help her. Children that attend this school are supposed to be completely potty trained. Molly is day trained and almost completely night trained, but still not pooping on the potty regularly. It's so frustrating because we've been dealing with potty training since February. I'm worried she'll have another accident one day and the teachers will decide she shouldn't continue going to school. She really likes it a lot now, she didn't even cry yesterday when we dropped her off. So I hate dragging her out of it. But if I have to, I have to. We'll look for another activity that she'll enjoy just as much.

Alexa got her first tooth the other day. She's been pretty good about it, but you can tell it's causing her some pain. She's fussy at nights and drooling a bit more than normal. I'm glad it's broke through though. Maybe it'll be easier on her now.

Ira got on my bad side last night. He was an hour late getting home from work. He didn't bother to call to let me know. Then he stayed up until early this morning on the computer doing some work. When we got up this morning he was back on the computer again, which almost made us late going to story time. He can be so frustrating when he has something going on with work. His paper is affiliated with a message board community, so he's always checking his boards. I mean, I'm addicted to my boards too, but I know when to put it away for a while and spend some time with my kids. He forgets everything around him. He's a great guy, a wonderful father and husband. But he's also a workaholic.

I'm liking my new do. Even though it takes a while to fix in the mornings. I feel like it's the first time I've actually had an up-to-date hair style. Makes me feel a little better about myself.

Dh and I are going back on our diet. Or trying to. I want to lose another 20 lbs. He wants to lose another 30. He looks good! He lost like 40-something lbs back in the spring and he looks really good!

Trying to make my Christmas list early this year. I'd like to get things done gradually. I say this every year. We always buy things at the last minute. But this year I'm planning on doing some early shopping.

Well, Alexa just woke up. Darn. Was hoping she'd sleep longer. I like getting out of the house on occassion, but hate how it throws Alexa off her schedule. Makes life a little crazy that day.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ok, wasn't feeling too great about preschool for Molly today. Last week Molly cried both days, which was really tough. And this week she's pooped in her pants both days. Today they had to call me to come change her b/c the teacher couldn't leave her classroom. And the director actually recommended I put her BACK in pullups. I was very angry at them [the director and teacher] at first. WHY would they let her sit in poop until I got there? We're talking about 20 minutes of her sitting in poop. Wouldn't my coming only make her poop more often b/c it would mean *I* would have to come change her? WTH would they suggest putting a child back in pullups when she's doing so well OUT of pullups? We haven't used pullups in weeks. Wouldn't that only make her regress even more? I was not happy.

After changing Molly, I asked to speak with the teacher. I explained how I wasn't very confident about putting Molly in preschool and that I wasn't sure if I should pull her. She was very understanding and listened to my concerns. She said that outside the poops, Molly has adjusted very well and is doing great. She's no longer going from station to station in the room, but getting involved in things for longer periods. She's made friends and is interacting well with them. She's learning to follow directions very well. We just need to get the poops in order. She agreed that putting Molly back in pullups is probably not the best solution. We're going to give it another week. She's also going to send Molly to the bathroom about 9:30 so she can try to poop and hopefully that will help.

So I'm feeling a bit better. Especially after hearing how well Molly is doing with interaction. I'm so relieved about that. She's always shown kind of loner tendancies and I so want her to different from me.

I'm so frustrated with this pooping thing though. Molly is completely pee trained, even at night for the most part. She's only wet the bed once in the past 2 weeks. I just can't get her to poop consistantly in the potty. I've tried everything. Last week she mentioned a toy flashlight she wanted, and she happened to tell me right around the time I saw her getting ready to poop. So I had her sit on the potty and then I made her a chart. When she gets 5 stickers on the chart, we'd go get that flashlight. It worked for about 2 days. I don't even think she cares anymore. This weeks I'm trying a new tactic. I checked out "Everyone Poops" from the library. She loves the book, but obviously it's not making much of an expression if she's still pooping in her pants. (Oh, she pooped again this afternoon.) Why is this such a hard thing for her to understand? I think she knows what she's supposed to do, she's just not doing it. ARG! I hate potty training!

My mom scared me today. I called this afternoon to talk to her and right away I could tell something was wrong. I asked her and she said it was no big deal, just something at work. Then she broke down and started crying and said she'd call me back. It was about an hour before she called. I was going nuts b/c I was sure she'd gotten fired or something. My mom NEEDS to work. Not just for money, but for her sanity. She's always needed her work. But she wasn't fired or anything. They had some kind of an inspection today, one that she usually makes very high or perfect marks on. But today she failed miserably and is getting chewed out left and right for it. GRRRR! I want to go yell at her bosses. Hopefully she'll better soon. It's not all her fault, but b/c she's in charge, she gets the brunt of it. Makes me so mad!

I feel badly for those suffering through Hurricane Isabel and don't want to rub it in, but we're having absolutely gorgeous weather lately. Tonight the low is 58 and it's been beautiful during the day. No clouds in the sky, sunny and breezy. Not cool, but not stiffling hot either. Very nice. So I wanted to get out and enjoy it. While Alexa took a nap this afternoon, Molly and I washer our car and went in the back yard to rake some. It felt good to do it. I'm terrible at yard work. I love planting things, but I'm terrible at the upkeep a yard needs. I got about 1/2 the yard raked and it looks a lot better. We don't have much grass in the back, but I think that's because the leaves have killed it all! This is a rental though, so what can I expect? And I'm not going to put a huge amount of work into a yard that isn't mine. At least Molly has a nicer area to play in right now.

Dh is off tomorrow. I wonder what we will do?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Looks like Alexa has a cold. Her nose started running today and she's all out of sorts. I had to rock her to get her to go to sleep at both naps today because she would just cry and cry. She's also pulling up to standing in the crib now, so she won't stay down at all. I usually just put her in the bed and let her fall asleep on her own. And from the sound of Molly's sneezing, she's probably right behind. Funny, I thought the preschooler would catch and bring home more germs than the baby would!

Baby Einstien is amazing! Both girls are so quiet when this video (Baby Mozart) is on. Yesterday Alexa sat all the way through it without budging. I know TV is not always a great thing for kids, but it certainly saves my sanity sometimes!

I've tried to get a lot accomplished today. I've gone through the girls' toys and collected things for the yard sale. I've been doing laundry and rearranged some small pieces of furniture. I still need to get in Molly's room to put fresh sheets on her bed and clean up in there some too. I moved her small table from the living room to her room so now she can have tea parties. It was becoming a catch-all for junk up here. And of course I'm running after Alexa with a tissue every 5 minutes. And dinner is a-cooking too. Simple dinner tonight, baked chicken with rice and brocolli. I'm too tired for anything else! I did bake Snickerdoodles with Molly earlier. They're yummy! (So much for losing more weight, right?)

Our trip to the zoo yesterday was fun. Actually, it's a pretty small zoo, but it was nice to be outdoors in the gorgeous weather. It's a museum of history and natural science. They have a little farm set up in the way it would have been in this area 100 years ago along with farm animals and such. And they have exhibits for animals that are native to FL too.

Ya know, you hear about animals that are native to where you live, but there's something about seeing them up close that makes you sweat a little bit. There was an exhibit of native snakes, 2 of which were rattlesnakes: the cottonmouth rattlesnake (aka water mocasin) and the Eastern diamond back rattler. The diamond back was moving all over the place, right up against the glass. There was no ropes or anything to keep you a distance away, you were right there at the glass. So Molly is tapping the glass and you could see it tense up each time. I don't care if the things WAS behind glass, it's still spooky! I pulled her away and explained that looking at snakes behind glass is OK, but you never, never touch one, you yell for help. Then we were looking at the water mocasin and the thing was coiled with it's head and neck in the "S" position, ready to strike! In fact, there were already droplets of venom on the glass from where he'd struck before. OMG. I grabbed everyone up and scooted on out there. Gave me the heebie jeebies.

So the rest of the tour was nice. We tried to get Molly to look at the animals but she was much interested in the catepillars that had taken over the place. There were hundredes of them all along the railing of the boardwalk that goes through most of the animals exhibits. I caught a couple for her to hold, I even got a quick snapshot of one on her shirt while she was sitting in the stroller. She could have cared less about all the other animals. Alexa, well she can't really do much more than sit in the stroller. But she liked being outside too.

I've been thinking about Christmas cards lately, and what kind to do this year. I've thought about doing the portrait greeting cards. But if I go through our portrait studio, it's going to cost at least $100 plus the postage. We just can't do that! Usually I just do a portrait package and slip one of the pictures in with a store bought Christmas card. But we don't really get enough pictures with our package to include in all the cards we'll be mailing out. SO, what to do? I'm hoping I can get creative with the digital camera I'm determined to get, and do my own holiday picture and then have those printed up into greeting cards, which would cost about half of what it would be to go to a studio. I'll probably still do a portrait package, it's tradition now, but only send those out to family and close friends. Hmmm....this makes me more determined to get this yard sale over and done with so I can go get my camera!

Speaking of cameras, I was looking at reviews for that Gateway camera I wanted and they weren't too good. So now I'm thinking about the Kodak we saw at Walmart. It's in our price range and has the features we're looking for. It's also got good reviews.

I'm thinking of giving up on potty training. I think now we've put too much pressure on Molly to go poop because all day today it's been a fight to get her to go, even to pee. We're back to where we were 2 months ago. I see her squirming around and doubled over because she has to go so bad, and she denies it completely. So I have to take away the toy she's playing with or turn off the TV until she goes. She also had an accident last night in the bed, but I think that was because she was up so late last night. Dh took her to a soccer game and a volleyball game. They didn't get home until about 9:30 and she didn't get in the bed until close to 10:00. Plus, there was the zoo yesterday and she was just pooped! And speaking of poop, she did it in her pants again today. I just don't know what to do about that. I may have to pull her from the preschool anyway. I don't really like the idea of putting her in pullups again. But she really likes school. I just don't know. This is just so frustrating.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Rough couple of days. I won't even go into all of it. No energy. Dh had to work most of the weekend, so it's all been on my shoulders. I'm beat. I have to be up early in the morning to take Alexa for her 9 month checkup by 8:50, and here I sit on the computer at 11:30, not even close to hitting the pillows.

Alexa is struggling with this cold. She's been very clingy the past 2 days. She cuddles a lot. She was easier to lay down today compared to yesterday when I had to rock her to sleep at both naps and bedtime. Her little nose is all raw and red from my wiping it. I put some Aquafor on it tonight, so hopefully it will look better in the morning. (Love that stuff, it takes care of just about everything!) Her checkup is in the morning. I already said that didn't I? Oh well. Fried brain tonight. I'm guessing she's about 31 inches and 24 lbs. She crawling! She started the other day and hasn't creeped since. YAY! Now she's pulling up in the crib. When I lay her down, she pops right back up. The big reason behind her not going to sleep so easily, I imagine.

I'm pretty certain I'm going to pull Molly out of this preschool. The more I think about the poop incident last week, the madder I get. Not to mention we've had some major setback in training this weekend. I think she's had too much pressure put on, or maybe she's embarrassed. Tomorrow I'm going to call a couple of places to see if it's too late to add Molly to a class. Or maybe I'll just hold off a while and get her involved in other activities in the mean time. I know she'd love dance. I've noticed her copying dance moves on TV. And a lady we know who does a music class called the other day to tell me she has opened a children's center kind of like Gymboree. I'm going to swing by there tomorrow and pick up a schedule and talk to her a bit. It's on the way home from the pedi's office anyway, so that will work out well. If I got her involved in a couple of activities each week, it would probably accomplish the same thing I was hoping to by sending her to preschool. I sent her more for the interaction and to learn to follow directions from someone other than Mommy and Daddy. Poor girl.

My sisters are trying to surprise my mom with Alan Jackson tickets. What they don't know is that the last person she wants to go with is my stepfather, and he's the one getting the tickets for her. Oh my, what a situation. They're involving me though b/c they don't have a credit card and I can use my debit card to pay for tickets. They'll give me the money, I'll get the tickets. Dh thinks I should go too, while he stays home with the girls, but he doesn't realize that's a Sunday and he's got to put out the paper that day. He'll also have gone to an away game the day before, so he won't have the time to watch the girls. It would be nice to go though!

Getting up lots of goodies for my yard sale. I went through toys yesterday and came away with some good stuff that the girls don't/won't use. I also found a couple of other winter jackets that no one uses in our coat closet. Racking it up! Digital camera, here I come!

I watched the "Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings" tonight for the first time. Now I'm dying to see "Twin Towers". I hope it comes on PPV soon. I also want to read the books at some point. I think the next time I go to the library, I'll check out those instead of the trashy romances I'm so addicted to!

Off to bed! Gotta set that lovely alarm and hopefully wake up on time!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Phew! Long week. No time, no energy, no patience! I have a bit of time now, so let's review.

First, what GORGEOUS weather we are having right now! We had a few nasty, rainy, muggy days. But the past couple of days have been sunny and clear, beautiful blue skies, a nice breeze and cooler nights. Tomorrow the high is supposed to be 78. I'm loving this and enjoying it as much as possible!

Molly is still in preschool. I'm considering the preschool to be on probation. If anything else happens that makes me feel uncomfortable with them, then Molly's outta there! This past week Molly did very well. She went poop on the potty both days and they rewarded her by using stickers. She actually had a great week. No accidents, no crying. She's made a lot of friends and I can tell she's been interacting more with the other kids. She's happy and seems to have adjusted some. *knocking on wood* Hopefully things will keep going smoothly. I'd hate to have to pull her from something she likes so much.

Alexa is pretty much over her cold. Molly also caught it, but not as bad. She does have a slight cough now, but even that seems to be going away. Alexa's nose still runs on occassion, but I'm starting to think it has more to do with teething than a cold. Otherwise she's doing great! She's got 3 teeth now, 2 of which erupted this past week. She's crawling great and pulling up pretty well now. And yesterday she actually took some steps while we held her hands. Normally she lunges towards something without stepping, but now I think she's getting the hang of that. My grandfather thinks that she's going to walk soon. Lovely.

FIL is driving me nuts, but I think I'm handling things rather well. He did mention moving back to MD yesterday. Not really a surprise since he's done it twice before, more if you count what we went through with him 2 years ago. OMG, I just hope he finds and place and stays there! I want my girls to know him, so I don't mind him living in this area. But I want him out of my house soon! He does these little things that really bother me. Like when I tell Molly to do something, he jumps in and basically repeats what I've said. So the kid has 2, sometimes 3, adults telling her to do 1 thing. And the other night he actually got onto her about leaving her Mr. Potato Head pieces out and Alexa was chewing on them. So NOT his place. Poor Molly. I want her to learn to take direction from others, but not that way. And I caught him fiddling with the thermastat last night! GRRRR! He can mess with that when he starts contributing to our already outrageous electric bill! And of course, there are his little comments on this or that. The other day he made a negative comment about Southern Baptists. Well HELLO! I'm Southern Baptist! I said so too and of course he began back tracking with the "Well, you know what I mean" tactic. No, actually I don't. You don't like for Jews to be picked on, yet it's OK for you to pick on my denomination? Sorry buddy, I'm offended. Ok, he needs to find his own place to live now.

Dh has been great through all of this. He's trying his best to keep things moving. I love him so much. Sometimes I don't let him know it b/c of all the griping I can do. This week the griping has been a combo of losing my patience with FIL and AF. I'll have to cuddle with him tonight and tell him I love him.

Me. Well, I'm doing well. I've decided to sign up for a scrapbook class for in a couple of weeks. It's the basics, which I so need to learn. I'm thinking of not doing anything else in my scrapbook until I go to this class. I really think I should stop where I'm at, and move to a 12x12 album. I can't get much on the 8 1/2 x 11 one. So anyway, that should be a fun ME morning!

My grandfather, PaPaw as we all call him, had a big family lunch/dinner today. I don't really like going to his house. Everyone there smokes, it's very hot in the summer or cold in the winter, and stuff. He lives on a farm and he also works on lawn mowers, so there is dangerous equipment everywhere. I just don't feel like my kids are safe there. So I never go. But he had this dinner thing today and I decided to go. I know of a couple of people who've lost grandparents lately. I've been fortunate enough to know mine, I even knew 4 of my great-grandparents. He is my last living grandparent, I should let my girls see him more. Well, it turned out I worried over it for nothing. My mom helped keep and eye on Molly and Alexa basically sat in someone's lap the whole time. We were outside, so there wasn't as big of a deal over the smoke. It was a beautiful day and my girls really enjoyed themselves. My mom said that my grandfather hasn't smiled like that in a very long time. Molly loved it out there, she even found of his quail eggs (he raises them right now) and brought it home. It hasn't buested yet b/c she's been so gentle. PaPaw was shocked b/c they are such delicate eggs. And of course, Alexa ate up all the attention and the fact that she was sitting outside. I'm glad I went, and I will go more often. PaPaw isn't doing too great health wise. He's not on his death bed, or even sick. But he's had triple by-pass surgery and other problems have cropped up. I need to visit my grandfather.