Munkie! Daughter of the Jungle
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 26

Thread: Munkie! Daughter of the Jungle

  1. #1
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default Munkie! Daughter of the Jungle

    Er-rite!
    I figured I would start this to kind of get some stuff out of my brain. Oh! If only I had Dumbledore's pensieve!! There's so much happening right now and the holidays made it, dare I say, worse. What sucks is that it was Clara's first Christmas and I feel like I didn't make it as good as it should have been. It all started in the middle of November...
    ...one day at work the boss***** was out of town, or I overheard she would be oot while pumping in the rat-infested storeroom. So I told Ms B who suggested she sneak out and get us all Burger King. Well, the secretary (yeah! that's all you are stupid woman, you don't own the freaking school!!!) got pissed at us and RATTED! That started a chain reaction which lead to me putting in a notice to leave work. Then my Mother passed away after being sick for over 10 years. I still do not feel I properly cried. I feel like I have so much sadness in me, and I just can't tap into it. Like when I'm pumping and my milk won't let down. In a way I've been without her for so very long! In a way I have mourned her passing for years before it happened, yet it doesn't seem real. I'll never see her again. I didn't even look at her in her casket so it feels like maybe she wasn't even in there. I remember at the funeral I walked up to the casket with Clara to say goodbye. I touched the casket as I held her. I know it looked dramatic, but I wasn't doing it for effect, though I made many people cry and fall silent. Clara will not even know someone who would have given her everything in the world. What the hell did my mother do to not even get to see her grandbaby?? Nothing, not a damn thing! She was a wonderful person and it just ain't fair. And why do I have to live without my mother? I need her! I have needed her for the last decade and now there is NO HOPE she'll ever come back to take care of me!! Oh, well. She is at so much peace now, with Mamaw and Charles and sweet Jesse-boy.
    So now I'm stuck with no Mom and no job and things are soooo strained between me and Jamie. Ever since Clara was born (not blaming her, of course.) it has been so different. I guess it's getting better if not for the 7 month+ lag in our freaking sex life! What married couple does not have sex for so long? It really bugs me, but not him. Why? What is it about that is so repulsive to him? ****.
    Well, I'm starting to feel a little better.
    Luv, Angie
    Angie ♥ Ryan 7/10/2009
    Grace Rose "Gracie" 7/10/2011
    Jeanne Claire "Clara" 6/30/04


  2. #2
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    Ah! I forgot to add why I chose my journal's name to be as such! When I was a little girl (and now) we would get in huge trouble if we were caught jumping the rows of strawberry plants. Even now we inform all our customers that when in the field do not jump the rows. To do so could crush the plants, the fruit, tear the plastic, etc. Every now and then there's an ant nest under the plastic and if you landed on it-YEOW! That's what represents my life right now. I feel as though I have to tread carefully and take good care of my little plant (Clara) and not step on any ant nests. So to speak.

  3. #3
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    I wonder if Clara sleeps too much? Maybe she's going through a growth spurt right now. I had pumped some milk while she was at Cathy's and this morning and all last night she constantly nursed, then wolfed down 3 oz this morning! Tomorrow I have to bring the new car to get the radio put in and the front end aligned. I wish Jamie could take off work to come with me, cause I know those snakes will be a'slitherin at the car place. I think I go in public everyday with a sign that says "I'm naive, take advantage of me please. Please walk all over me!" So I'm working on that. It's hard, especially when you're a socialphobe like me. Ugh, I can't wait to get back on my Paxil, cause this Zoloft does not do anything but make me impossible to be around. Maybe I'll call my GP and tell her I'm not breastfeeding as much and I would like to switch back. First I'll have to call Clara's dr to make sure it's ok, but it should be cause Paxil has a short half-life and it won't accumulate in Clara's system. Or maybe I'll just stop taking meds and deal with my emotions as is. However eccentric they may be.
    Ugh, I wish I had a money tree. That way I wouldn't have to go back to work. Wish I could work from home. Sigh.

  4. #4
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    I told Jamie when I get a new job, I'll need some time away. Hmmm.

  5. #5
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    I went to the auto dealer**** today and they "put in" my radio. Doesn't mean they hooked it up correctly, though. Jerks. We were in there almost 2 hours. Clara was getting Rowdy! She threw her nunu and as I bent over to pick it up, she farted so loudly!!! Ugh.
    I cleaned up (or rearranged, rather) the den. Clara didn't really want me to do that either. Jamie was extremely nice to me and even kissed me on the lips last night. And touched my boob. Whatever.
    I still have not heard back from my cousin, who was supposed to help me get a job at the hospital, so I guess I can forget that. On to plan B. What was plan B again?
    We hooked up Clara's mobile onto her crib. One of the bunnies keeps falling down, though, so I'll have to glue it. It reminds me of when she was first born and I get all mushy. 6 months...the fastest 6 months ever! I love my little girl so much (toe muck!)
    I need to talk to Renee and apologize one more time about my ugly comment 2 years ago. It strained our relationship and the fact I feel guilty about it doesn't help. The topic about PPD on the debate board made me think of this.
    I have to get Jamie's birthday present. Slippers or Professer Longhair? He really really needs slippers, but Mardi Gras is here and we really need a Prof Longhair cd. Oh decisions!!!

  6. #6
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    I just ordered the CD, but it will not be in by Friday. Oh, well. When it does come in, Jamie will be beside himself! He better had give me good good luvin. Or I will claim that CD as my own.

  7. #7
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    Aughh! Why did I taken that freaking Excedrin on an empty stomach? I feel so doped up. I'll write more later.

  8. #8
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    Took me that long...JJ. Not much has been going on. Tomorrow Jamie's mother is coming to visit. Whatever. Wish me luck. Still no bd. I tried to restuff Clara's bunny, but it has freaking metal arms and I couldn't get them out. I think I may look for another animal with the same texture fur for her since she really seems to like it. I cut my Zoloft in half and I think it might be working ok. I haven't tried to hurt Jamie, so that's a good sign.
    I'm hungry! ROAR!!
    Clara's eyes are looking quite goopy, so I started up her eyedrops again. That is so hard to do. For one it's physically difficult to get them in. For two those Mutha****as burn like nothing else. I know cause I put them in my eyes. I have a theory...if I have to put anything in my child, I should be able to put it in me too. Food, medicine, whatever. If I feed her something, I best be prepared to taste it. If I see something I have to do to her causes pain, I will do it to myself too just to see how I can make it better. That's just how I am, I guess.
    I need to remember to cut her nails before she inflicts harm upon herself, though.

  9. #9
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    I need somewhere to scream. Hold on.
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UU
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UU
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UU
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGG G
    GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH
    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    cool. I feel better.

  10. #10
    Mega Poster angielily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,961

    Default

    I changed my topic name. Cause right now I am feeling woey. I have managed to make about 100 bucks on ebay so far, which is cool. I hate this whole staying up late thing I have started. I tried to get up earlier this morning then guess what? I went to nurse Clara and fell asleep and slept for 3 hours. STUPID. I am so pissed off at myself right now. I feel so completely worthless. I am just discusted at myself.
    I really need to get my *** into gear. Life is too short to be a freaking waste of space like I have been lately.
    Luv, Angie
    Angie ♥ Ryan 7/10/2009
    Grace Rose "Gracie" 7/10/2011
    Jeanne Claire "Clara" 6/30/04


+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions