Wow, what a lot going on right now in my life! I'm doing a lot better emotionally, lately. Probably partly the med I'm on, and partly just the fact that I've been learning so much about myself and also my relationship with David. I've learned what buttons I can push and which ones I can't, how much to vent, and when to keep some things to myself, or quit venting. I've learned to be able to communicate better, to express myself and make my expectations, needs and frustrations clearer, but also to respect the differences we have, and even accept them. We're doing really well.
So............the big news is that we are buying a house!!!!! Yea, I'm so excited! We close in two weeks!!!!! Then we can start moving! It is a great house, and it has everything we wanted. I love it, and it's so much better than our first house, which turned out to be way too much of a project for us. It is 3 bedrooms, all upstairs, 2 1/2 baths, with a jetted tub in the master--I'll be spoiled. The master bedroom also has a HUGE walk-in closet. There is a living room, a family room, a laundry room, and a nice kitchen with hardwood flooring, and new countertops, new carpeting, new paint, and nice light fixtures. Central air, a FOUR-car garage (huge!)--not that we need all that, but hey we'll use it for storage or whatever in the meantime. It is on a half-acre, horse property. We bought two miniature horses for the kids, and now I'm learning all about horses!! Never thought I'd see that day! It's fun, though! We'll get to have our doggy back! Yea, and we're looking for a second pomeranian. The landscaping is mostly all done, and very simple as far as upkeep. (whew, a huge difference again, from our first house!) It was built 3 years ago, and it's in a newly developed neighborhood, and only about two blocks from the brand new elementary school. (Nice!)
Savannah's birthday party is next week. I can't believe my little baby girl is going to be a year old! She is such a sweetie, and such a clingy mommy's girl! Not that I mind all that much.
I'm sad tonight, though--she's been really sick the last two days with stomach flu; which I believe is actually Rotovirus. She's got it bad, and I'm worried that I might be taking her to the E.R. tomorrow for dehydration. We'll see if she can hold down fluids tonight and in the morning.
Savannah has been getting closer and closer to walking. She's started cruising, and she can stand by herself, without holding on to anything for a few seconds. She is so cute--mimicing things that we say all the time. She mimics Daniels's way of saying "I got it!", and she has a favorite word lately: dog! She called the horses "dogs" today. I had to laugh. We let her sit up on Chip, while I was holding her, and she squealed with delight. Both my kids are animal-crazy already. I guess that figures, with their daddy's genes.
Daniel had a blast with his cousins today at the family's Superbowl party. He is such a socialite! He has a great sense of humor. We was cute last night with me, sitting on my lap, watching the movie "White Fang 2". I can tell that his imagination is really developing. He is my good little helper around the house. His favorite "toy" lately is the swiffer-wet jet mop. He loves to push the button on it to make the whirring sound. So I just take the cleaning solution out of it. Last night he helped me put all the silverware away in the drawer as I emptied the dishwasher. We're still working on the potty training thing. It's still a work in progress......
Valentine's Day is coming up. Oh, man--what am I going to do for David? Well, I know we'll enjoy it, anyway. I love all the holidays.
It's been three months since I last wrote anything here in my journal, but I think I need to add to it again. First of all, we love our new house. It's been a perfect fit for us, and we're really happy there. David finally graduated from college, with his Bachelor's degree in Business Management, although he technically has one class left to finish, which ends on June 19th. The kids are doing well; growing like little weeds. Very cute little weeds, though They get into SOOO much trouble together, and they are SOO fast at it! But they both have a very tight hold of my heartstrings! It's funny, 'cause Daniel is ALLL boy: rough and tumble, way into sports and always a busy little on the go boy. Savannah is ALLL girl. She is the pampered princess who loves to cuddle and kiss and be held. She loves her dollys and stuffed animals and play kitchen. And I SWEAR I did NOT push them in those directions; they just naturally went that way! Anyway, moving on.....the biggest thing right now is that I am trying to make a huge, very difficult decision about my career. To make a long story short, I have to choose between working at a hospital that is close by with a short commute, in the well-baby nursery for the most part, which I would love, BUT I'm not all that sure that they would be willing to work with me on my scheduling needs--trying to coordinate my schedule with my husband's so that we can take care of the kids without dumping on my parents so much anymore. That is hugely important to me. They just seemed kind of flakey and disorganized, and like they're going through a huge transition right now, too. The director has only been in that postion for a month! The other job is SOOO much further away, and the pay is significantly less. BUT they really seem so much more on top of things, and much more professional. They are going to be remodeling their unit so it will be all nice and new. I would also be in danger of losing some hours still, occasionally, at the first hospital, but probably not at the second one. Ughhh, I just wish I knew for sure what to do--and I have to make up my mind by tomorrow morning. I'm going to call the first hospital tomorrow morning first, and ask her one more time for more specifics on the scheduling. I sure hope everything works out how I want it to. I'm so stressed about it right now.
The other thing is that I have been doing GREAT on my med for generalized anxiety, etc. It has made ALL the difference.............up 'til NOW Yikes, the last few days though, I feel like I've suddenly had kind of a relapse, or something, but not quite as bad. But all of the sudden I'm losing my temper and going out of control berserk again, and fighting more and more with David. I hate that so bad! I'm really wondering if I might be PG again? It is possible. We have been talking about TTC #3 this fall, but we kind of had an "oops" recently....won't go into details, but anyway.....if I don't get a visit from Aunt Flo in the next few days, I'm gonna test, and see. At least that would explain my weird mood swings! Well, I guess that's it for now.....just a little stressed about things right now.
Oh, I totally forgot to add: David has been acting so moody and weird himself, lately. I can't help but feeling like it's dejavu. And I'm so afraid of going back into the vicious cycle of me feeling guilty for causing him to be moody because I blew up over something, and then I resent that, and so we fight even more.......tonight he SHOCKED me, when he said in conversation: ...."well, maybe we'll just have two (kids) (and not any more)..." WHAT???????????????????????????????????? Since when???? We've been talking about having at least four kids since we were dating, almost 5 years ago!! I about lost it. OK, he is definitely acting weird again....and I don't like it one bit! I'm worried!