December 8, 2011
The pressure is becoming overwhelming, and I don't know how much longer I can resist baby fever!?! I have thought of nothing for the past two weeks except TTC. I know now is not the right time, but I can't help it. To be honest, it all started because I missed a few birth control pills, and I thought for sure we'd had an oops. I had all of the common early pregnancy symptoms, and truth be told, I got my hopes up. I know my husband isn't ready yet, and financially, we're so not ready, but I. cannot. help. it.
I've decided to start this journal as a way to cope with my baby fever. It will also give me an opportunity to write down and document the daily happenings in my hectic life :D I'm currently the mama of three wild, rambunctious kids, and they make me so happy. Sure, at times, I want to run and hide, but they're the light of my world and I cannot imagine my life without them. That's all for now, but here's a ticker to keep me on track.
December 10, 2011
You know, it's awfully depressing when you look like you're 8 weeks along, and sadly it's just flub. I know that's all there is to it, but every time I walk by the mirror I have to do a double take. It seriously looks like I'm pregnant, and it's only adding fuel to the fire.
I've been having dreams lately, and in all of my dreams the girls are playing with a baby named "Emerson." That is the name we've chosen if our last baby is a girl...Emerson Frances. Frances has special meaning because it is my Grandma's middle name. I love that lady!! She's always been there for me and I'm so thankful she's in my life. If our last baby is another handsome boy, we know his middle name will be Martin after my Grandfather who passed away this summer due to cancer. We're still trying to find a name that goes well with Martin and we're not having a lot of luck. Both Todd and I have such different tastes when it comes to names. I know what he's wanting, and I'm not sure I want to cave in and let him name the baby.
Today the girls and I started baking cookies for the holidays. We made star cookies, which Todd loves, and I also made peanut butter balls...my fav :D Tomorrow we are going to take the girls to see Santa, and then we'll continue baking. I've got 4 more kinds of cookies I'm hoping to make. I cannot believe how quickly Christmas is approaching. I've been done shopping since Black Friday, but need to pick up something for my sister for my mom. I know what I am going to get her, but am not brave enough to go to the mall, so we'll see. I may end up waiting until the last minute to run out and get something.
Alright, off to bed. The kids are finally sleeping, and my Harry Potter book is calling my name!
December 23, 2011
Today was a long, busy day, but the kids were really good. It was a miracle ;) Cameron had a follow-up ENT appointment and it went well. In October we decided to put tubes in because Little Man had had 5 ear infections in 10 months. In fact, his first ear infection developed exactly one year ago today. I took him in on Christmas Eve last year and he had a double ear infection. I felt like such an awful mama for not realizing sooner that he had had one :( Thankfully the tubes are working like they should. He hasn't had one since, and he passed his earring test today. She said the tubes were clear and open, so that's a good thing. We go back in 7 months. I realized I scheduled the appointment for his actual birthday, but that's okay. It'll give us an excuse to get out of the house!
We ran a few other errands today. I was able to finally go to the eye doctor, so I picked up new contacts. I'd been wearing the same pair for far too long, and my eyes were starting to act funny. I was able to get groceries in peace, and we even stopped at a few different cell phone stores. All in all, it was a good day as far as behavior goes!
We've been working on behavior issues with Addison. She can be such a sweetheart, but when she cracks, it's AWFUL. I've never seen such tantrums for a child before. She knocks stuff, heavy stuff, over, and she throws things. We have started trying to eliminate food with Red 40 in it, but it's been a struggle. So many things have the dye in it, and it makes for a long shopping trip when I need to scope out every label and check. However, we have only had 1 massive tantrum since them, so I think we may be on the right track. The tantrum was earlier today and we were decorating sugar cookies. I let her eat one, and I'm thinking that maybe that set her off :dontknow: I guess only time will tell.
As for baby fever, it's still raging, but right now it's not nearly as strong. I've realized that we really cannot try any sooner than April, and possibly not even until June. I've found a boy name that I adore, and Todd likes it, but isn't as in love with it as I am....
Sullivan Martin J.
I think it's adorable, so I'm going to keep working on Daddy and see if he'll come around! Alright, off to bed. Tomorrow is going to be insanely busy!