So, I have never be alone. I have always had someone by my side at all times. My father, Jim. My sister, Molly and Stephen. I am finally alone....sort of. Stephen & I are done. I guess we both knew it was coming. We fell out of love with one another. Hell, honestly, I didn't even love him when we got pregnant with Em. I forced myself to fall in love with him, and when I did, I fell so hard. Just as quickly as I fell in love with him, I fell out of love. When he tried to end it....even though I begged for him back I stopped loving him. It doesn't hurt, should it? I cleaned out his side of the bathroom today...I didn't eventhink twice. I think his closet is going to be the hardest part. He slipped last night on the phone and said "I love you"...then he said it was just a natural response. I know what he means, by the end when we were 'making love' if thats what you want to call it was just a natural thing for me to say to. I think the only thing I am going to miss is him sleeping in bed with me...not like it mattered anyway, he didn't hold me or even act like I was next to him. I am looking forward to meeting & dating new people....I want to know what its like to be with someone who loves me, and treats me like a woman. I resent stephen for never saying thank you to me for carrying Emma for 9 months, for giving birth to her and caring for her everyday of her life. I'm still not alone. Though it feels like it. I still have my father and sister and most importantly I have my Em girl by my side now. 9 months has gone by so fast. I start school soon, I am so excited. I finally won't feel like a drop-out loser anymore. I promised myself I would succeed for emma and my father. I have let him down so much, I need to make him proud. I still am a daddys girl. He pays my cell phone bill, car insurance and I live in his house. Stephen pays my car payment. I don't pay for anything myself. That makes me feel like shit. I decided today I am putting my past behind me. I am going to forget what my father & mother did to me, and start over. It is so much easier to forget now that emma has been born. I feel like I was reborn with her. I am just rambling...but thats what this is for, right? I feel so lazy, tomorrow I have to fold all my laundry! Maybe...clean my car if its nice out so i can take em out with me. I am going to keep updating this, I really will.