My brother went to an AA meeting last night- and it sounded like he was actually impacted by it! He talked about it for over an hour--- and he has plans to go to another one. It just gives me so much hope. I really hope he can stick with it. He does have the wonderful luck of having someone he knows as an active member of AA (for 24 years), so I hope that keeps him going!
I have been spending a lot of time talking about being molested as a child lately. It has had such an enormous impact on my life- and I can't believe my parents wouldn't have figured that out when I was so much younger. It was just a horrifying experience that I can actually visualize today-- and it was 21 years ago! My asshole cousin that did it, also went on to rape a 15 year old girl last year. I was SO upset I almost cried. HIs son was caught licking another boy's butt while they were playing as well. Don't tell me that boy (his son) wasn't molested! UGH. It makes me so mad I could scream!
Being molested had such a HUGE effect on my life- and even as an adult I have problems with my sexuality and my sexual desires. Its horrible. I can't believe this is somthing I have to deal with even now- and I was only molested once. I can't imagine what these poor children who were molested so many times must feel like.
ANyway, it feels good to be getting some of this out- and realizing that I am not the only one who was molested and became sexually promiscuous- even Oprah has admitted that's why her life went the way it did when she was a teen. Other public figures have come out and said the same- and it feels SO good not to feel like a freak!
I am at work- and we are slow, so I figured I would update my journal.
My kids are getting just WAY too smart, LOL. Chris learned how to tie shoes yesterday- and he picked in up in like 10 minutes. WOW! Hailey is writing very well-- she writes her name especially well.
I really have to plan a romantic night with dh. I have SO not been in the mood for sex, but its not really fair to him. I have been so tired and so busy lately that he's really been on the back burner. We are going out on Saturday night for a nice dinner and a nice theatric performace-- so hopefully that will help. My parents are keeping the kids, so we don't have to worry about getting home early or anything.
I really want to start graduate school, but I am really afraid to with my kids still at home and with working and everything. I think it might be too much. I know my path will come, but its so hard waiting for it! UGH!
Ok- off to think of some romantic ideas for dh......
A couple weeks and I am signing my little boy up for kindergarten. I can't believe it. I know he will do well- he is so far advanced its kind of scary-- and he is SO looking forward to school. I haven't yet decided if I should let him ride the school bus though. I know he really wants to, but the safety aspect has me worried.
Dh and I are doing so much better. We are getting a ong and such- I just wish I could get my sex drive back.
YOO HOO! Sex drive- where are you???? LOL!
I started working out with a fitness trainer at the Y. My regular workouts just weren't doing it for me anymore- and felt I needed to move up to the next level. I am looking forward to wearing a 2 piece this summer- and on vacation!
My dh and kids got me a "trophy" for being the "world's best mom and wife." I thought it was so cute. What a great family!
I really need to go out with my friends one of these days. Just getting out away from everything will be nice.
Ah, work tonight. I really am liking this job, though!
Until next time...
I don't know why I let myself get sucked into stupid comments from people on the debate boards. There are so many intelligent, wondeful women to debate with- and a few just ruin the whole thing for me. Guess I will just stay away from those boards for a while before I am embarrassed of what I will say and/or do.
Did I mention I am thinking of going back to school for teaching instead? I am looking into some programs-- and it will be relatively quick, as I already have my 4 year degree.
We'll see--I need something that will accommodate my family, and something that I will enjoy. I hope this path is the right one---- I am tired of looking for my path!
Oh my it feels like Spring outside! It has been in the 50's and 60's for the past 3 days- and I just LOVE it! I even sget a base tan before I go on vacation-- and I even found a place that will watch my kids while I tan!!! WOO HOO! What an awesome place!
I also started seeing my personal trainer at the Y. I really think this will help me move up to the next level in my fitness goals!
Work is going great. My "boss" sent me a "thank you" email telling me what a great job I am doing. Its nice to hear that you are doing good things, and not just when something goes wrong.
March 10th is Kindergarten screening for my son. I am so excited, but sad at the same time. He's growing up too fast!!!!
I keep second guessing if we are ready for another baby. I think it was much better when they just came, reather than planning for them. This is too hard for me!
I am going to take my substitute teaching workshop on MArch 24 and 25th! I am really excited. Subs don't make much, but I think it will be a fun experience. I am also taking a class in May "Intro to education." I am VERY excited.
I went shopping for sweimsuts and actually found a 2 piece I really like on me. I am so excited I can wear one. Its the ones with the "shorts" (not really much of shorts, LOL) so I don't have to worry about my bikini line. HATE shaving- and don't like waxing either!
We are leaving for DisnyWorld in a few weeks! EEK- we are going to have SO much fun!!! THe kids are going to have a blast.
Went to work out with my trainer yesterday. That was fun. I really feel so much more relaxed when I work out. Its great!
My parents' new house is almost finished. I can't wait to see it now that the floors have been stained.
Work is going well. Had my first dept meeting yesterday- kind of lame, but went all the same, LOL. Not ahad much chice!
Its Friday! We are going swimming at the Y tomorrow-- can't wait!!!