Well I'm starting over. I saved the other journal, not in a nice manner, just to have it if I wanted it. Posted pictures are gone, but shit happens, right?
Yes I'm back. I desperately need a journal to release the thoughts that plague my mind so I write here. Oh btw I know I suck at spelling, but I do the best I can. I made the mistake of posting my thoughts elsewhere. Someone e-mailed me so they could track my address (I know who) and sent the cops to my house. I do realize this is a public journal, but hope this doesn't happen here. I found a site that offers private journals but I've had nothing but problems getting back into it. So that's another reason I'm back here. When I'm stressed I need to just get it out of my head and be done with it.
Onto my weekend of highs and lows.
It's been something. I was feeling overwhelmed on Friday/Saturday. The journal thing was just one more thing to have happen. Well I was stressed, I was having a messed up head day and posted. Someone thought I was going to kill myself, and sent cops to my house. 2 officers showed up in two different cars. Um, scary. We were returning from an outing and I thought DS had vandalized something because he had run off again earlier in the day and was gone for over 4 hours. No it was me they wanted to speak to. God that's a topper to an emotional day. I even went for a family walk that day hoping to clear my head. On the upside I got some info for free services. DH is now all paranoid and watching me like a hawk which suck. I don't want him to look at me like I'm losing my mind, would you want that? It's disheartening. On the upside he's being very sweet, just like when we were dating. I just wish it wasn't because he thought I had suicide plans, which I don't I'm just hothead.
I do plan to call and see if I can some anti-depressants because I'm tired of feeling psychotic but there are better ways to get info to a person. I wonder what the neighbors think of me standing outside speaking with 2 cops. I'm sure they think we're crazy as is with DS running off every other day, but this I didn't need. At least they didn't get the straight jacket out. I would have lost it if they really wanted to take me away. They would have if DH didn't say I was acting like my usual self.
We went picnicing with friends today. It was fun, although I'm crabby because AF is here and I'm crampy and yucky feeling. We were out all afternoon. DS had a fabulous park to play at and DD got to play with another baby. I think I got a little sun burned. Not bad but I'm seeing red.:oops: DD loves the trees as they sway in the wind. It's so cute to see her entrawled with them.
I may post later, but that's the highlights. Being outdoors is so nice. We went for several walks and just really enjoyed the beautiful weather. Still hate being fat but I'm trying, sort of.