I just needed somewhere that I can post my thoughts in private. I would write a journal by hand, but that takes too long and with so many things in my mind I would get a bad case of writers cramp. Plus others can find my notebook and I don't know if I want some people to see what I am thinking.

I love being a mom to my two boys and I thought that being married to DH would be a lot better than it has been these last few months. Right now my life is almost more hellacious than it was when I was married to my first husband. He ignored me and did not give me any affection, but right now I am not getting any affection and I am constantly being criticized for just about everything I do. I know it is from his medication, but it still hurts. I have said something to him a couple of times this week about it and now he flat out refuses to even speak to me.

I have to get away from the house for awhile. I am going to take Alex and try to do some Christmas shopping. Maybe being around the chaos of the mall will be better than what I am going through here at home.