I totally need something that describes me and my life but my brain isn't working right at the moment. Oh well. I'll think on it.
I have a few different journals floating around out there & I am really bad about getting them all caught up on, so I thought moving to a general one would be a good idea. Journaling is really healthy for me, so I need to keep on top of this.
Ok, back for a minute. Mykenah just fell asleep and Morghan is making an art project she brought home from dc.
I am Kelli, 23. I am married to Marshall, who is 25. I would consider him my best friend. I probably fight with him more than any other of my friends but I also trust him the most, confide in him the most and love him the most. We were actually great friends before hooking up. That was in 1996, now we have been together for almost 7 years. Married for almost 4. It's be a roller coaster but I think it's leveling out now. Marriage, kids, a mortgage and car payments will do that to you. Make you grow the heck up. Marsh is a team lead at a local factory here. He's been there for 8 years now. He works his buns off. They are kinda screwing with him now but we are just waiting it out. I work part-time (10-2) at a small local company as an office manager. I just switched to this job in August and I like it most of the time. I love the hours and the flexibility the most. The work I could sometimes scream about though!
We have two little girls and a baby on the way. Morghan will be 4 in May. She is intelligent and so loving. Mykenah is 2.5. She is so independent and so hilarious! This new baby (hoping for a boy) is due in July right aroud Mykenah's 3rd birthday, which could pose some complications. I could go on and on about my kiddos but supper is almost done. I am sure I will do so more later on.
That's my crazy, sometimes messed up life summed up in a nutshell for now. Until later.......
Well, today has been an okay day. Actually pretty good. I got my paycheck today and my mileage incentive check, which will help some. Marshall was off all last week (due to some ****) so he won't have a check at all. Paying bills this month is going to suck. Our car payment will probably have to be a month behind for awhile until we can get caught back up. Marsh may be going back to the night shift, which will have pros and cons. Probably more cons. Who knows?!?! That damn company is so screwy. I am excited for this evening though! Once every 2 months, I go out with close friends. We usually just go have supper and chat for a few hours. It does me good! I don't have a lot of close friends and don't get together much with the ones I do. So, when I can get out by myself for a bit, I love it. DH usually goes out once a week with his friends. Has been less though lately since we are pretty broke. My best friend lives in Hawaii so I don't see her much at all. We went to HS together and then her husband joined the Army so she has been all over. The girls were cheerful when I picked them up from dc. That's always a good thing! They no longer nap there b/c of my hours so sometimes they can be damn crabby. It is okay outside but a little chilly. It is supposed to warm up into the 50's so I can't wait until we can get out for a wlk and bike ride. I push Kenah in the stroller while Morgie rides her little bike. We will be buying Mykenah a little bike like Morghan's for her birthday this summer. Ok, I am rambling. I think I am going to go for now. Until later....
Last night was fun. I ate supper with 4 of my friends from my old job. I hated that place as far as rules and regualtions went but I did love the friends I made and did enjoy the work I did. Oh well, it's in the past now. It's neat to be able just to sit down for 3 hours and talk to women who understand a lot of where you are coming from. DH listens mostly but just can't get it I don't think. At least he tries. Tricia borrowed me another book to read. I don't read much at all but enjoy it when I can. Geez, when I was a kid, I LOVED reading. Seriously, it was awesome. But with small kiddos at home, it's hard to find the time. I made sure to tell them all my mom and kiki were throwing me a baby shower in June and I wanted their buns there. I said don't worry about any gifts, I just want to chit-chat with you all since we do it so rarely. I got home around 9 and Marshall & the girls were watching toons in our room. Geez, the girls acted like they hadn't seen me in 3 years! And them Morghan gave me the 3rd degree. Where have you been mom? It's dark out! Had to laugh at that one. I checked my e-mail and the boards and then went to bed around 10:00. Accidentally overslept too. Oops! So we were rushing to get Morghan out the door to preschool. Mykenah & I came back home and took it easy. I got some music downloaded and vacummed the bedroom. Except the girls spilled nerds on the floor and those damn things are hard to vacuum up! URG! I opened all the blinds b/c it was so sunny out. I hope it gets into the 50's today so we can get outside for a bit. The only thing that sucks is water is everywhere when you walk due to the melting snow. Oh well, it means spring will be here soon!! Not sure of the weekend plans. We are broke so can't do much. I would like to start going to our local library. We'll see on that one. But I suppose. I am at work and need to get some done. Bye for now!
Today was a great day. Overall, I had a great weekend. Let's see... Friday the girls & I went for a walk while Marshall went to see his family. Morghan can ride her bike sooooo fast!! Then we went to eat at the China Buffet. I love that place and enjoyed my meal as much as possible while keeping those two monkeys settled down! We went to see my mom and came home and took bahts. They watched cartoons until they fell asleep & I read a book after that. A good one too! I was in bed by 12. Marshall came home around 1 and was pissed at his sister for making some dumb *** comments. She is such a ***** at times and acts better than us, even though her life is way more screwed up. Saturday was nice. The weather was warmer! I think around 60. The girls and I took baths and got ready. We then went to the store and got stuff to make lunch. Had BBQ's, beans, chips & dip. Woke DH up. He vegged all day. Morghan went for a walk with Kiki and her little dog. I went to the $ store, the video store, all over. I made Chex mix. Washed all our blankets and sheets. Made all the beds. I have a clean house. Except for the famn kitchen floor, which I f'ing hate to mop!! I even washed our throw rugs. Pretty darn productive. It's easy to do when it's nice out. Morghan ended up staying over night at my mom's. Mykenah hung out with DH & I. We watched 1 Hour Photo. Freaky!! Went to bed at 12. Got up at 7:30 to head to church. That was okay. The girls were turds about sitting still that long. I will check out the nursery for them next time. We are just very new to the church so not sure how comfortable I am there. Not at all yet I don't think. DH really likes it though. Who knows. My mom came with us so she helped me keep the girls under control. We then went out to eat at Perkins. Had to put that on the cc, cause we are broke. We then had 3 free passes for a science exhibit at the pavilion so we hit that. The girls were free. Score! No $ to spend! That was totally cool. Very neat exhibits. Spent about an hour there. After that, we went to see the falls. Wow! Very pretty water falls, rocks, scenery, etc. There were so many people out due to the weather. It was about 65!! We hit Kmart to get pullups, then a gas station for a soda and then headed home. I went to get groceries, while Mykenah and Marshall napped. Morghan went for another walk with Kiki. Came home and made tacos for supper. Checked e-mail and then the boards. Girls just took a bath. Now updating journal and I am off to relax before bed. Night!!
Ok, today was pretty good. Overslept by 10 minutes. Morning routine went pretty good. I bought Scooby Doo cereal this weekend & Mykenah loves it!! Morghan seems to just like the marshmallows! I totally spaced on the green clothing for St Patty's Day though. Oops! Work was okay. Worked on a mailing that kept me busy all day. Came home, opened mail, thawed out some steaks, read the paper. Morghan colored and practiced writing her name while Mykenah napped. I was going to try to get us outside but then Kenah zonked out! She really needs that nap still. Got the propane tank for our grill figured out. Marsh came home and we got steaks put on. I seasoned them with bbq sauce, garlic salt and some accent. They turned out wonderful. Also made steakhouse fries and corn on the cob. Awesome meal!! Now that I am pregnant I can eat! Seriously, alot!! Tomorrow we are having a recipe Dess shared with me. Cheesy salsa chicken. Yummy! I really like to make chicken recipes but chix is so expensive! We can get chops and steaks for cheap due to DH's work but not chicken. I have to bite the bullet and pay store price. So high sometimes!! I shouldn't be *****ing b/c we can usually afford groceries. Some people can't. It got cold here! Probably will only be like 30 tomorrow. Darn, the nice weather didn't last. Bummer. I gave the girls a bath. Cleaned up the kitchen, bathroom and our bedroom. Also the girls' room but that doesn't last long with those turkeys playing in there!! DH & I listened to some music. Older stuff we haven't heard for awhile. Was nice for a change instead of the tv constantly on. I am burning some candles. I love the way partylite candles smell up my house. Tonight I have mulberry burning. Yummy. I still haven't mopped that damn kitchen floor. I just don't want to!! WHINE!!!! I am getting info on collecting this baby's cord blood. I am really interested in it. We also do not have a local place that will just take it as a donation. You have to bank it & that's like 4 hrs away. I live in such a rural area. I just think it's a wonderful idea. Especially after seeing my grandma literally die in front of my eyes in 1999. If that could've helped her...... Sigh... This little baby is a dancin away tonight. I can't wait until my u/s on 3/31. I hope they can see the gender. I know that I am hoping for a boy and hope that means I am not setting myself up for disappointment. I really just want a healthy baby but figure that people sending me boy dust and a little wishful thinking is okay. Ok, DH is calling me to bed. I should go. Until tomorrow........
I have started a routine of journaling before bed each night. Well, someone was on my damn computer last night so that wasn't possible. Urg!! Anyway, I'm over it now. Kinda. Yesterday was an okay day. The girls were pretty good in the morning. We got out of the house at a decent time and off to dc they went. They really love that place. As soon as I get their coats off, they take off running. That makes me feel good since I have to leave them. Work was good-kept busy. Sold my first item on Ebay. Yay! It was a chillier day yesterday so we didn't get outside. I made a dish that I thought would be good but it didn't turn out so hot. And of course, DH had to make some smart-*** comment. I called him on it and he apologized. I try my best. Whatever! My mom had a candle party last night so Morghan & I went to that. Mykenah hung out with Marsh. She didn't take a nap in the afternoon so I know she's zonk out early. The party was at 7, Marshall said she was snoozing by 7:15. :laughing7: That nutty girl! Needs her sleep. My good friend Sandi came to the party & it was sooo nice to see her. She went thru an awful marriage and it just so sweet. She raised her son by herself and did the best job I have ever seen a single mom do. Her son is always so polite and well-behaved. She is a great mom. Anyway, she told me some interesting news. She found a new love! Yay!! She said he treats her so good and that makes me so happy for her. Also, she's pregnant! Double Yay!! She is due 8/14, only a few weeks behind me!! Yay again! They are not sure about engagement or marriage yet, they are just taking it one step at a time. I am so happy for her. My mom had cheese, crakers and fruit salad for the food and that rocked! I ate a ton! I love fresh fruit. It had grapes, strawberries, watermelon and catelope. My favs. We got home about 8:45 and were in bed by 9:15. So, that's my night. It was pretty good. I plan on checking out a consignment store this afternoon for some bigger clothes for me. Need some shirts that will cover this belly. Making meatloaf for supper. Until tonight....
Ok, still no catchy title. What to choose, what to choose?!
Today was good. The girls and I had a good morning. Even though I had to get Mykenah dressed 3 times! She felt the need to take off her clothes twice to put dress-up clothes on! The turd. We got out of the house okay and had to run Marshall's lunch out to him. He has been sleeping in late every morning so forgets to make himself something or grab leftovers. Dropped the girls off at dc and got tons of hugs & kisses to send me off. I then went to check out a preschool program for Mykenah next year. I love it! I think I like it better than the one Morghan is in this year. That is the one I was planning on sending Kenah too but now I think I changed my mind. I really liked the teacher and her assistant. The kids all seemed happy. The activites were great! And the classroom was so cozy, bright, colorful, etc. I liked how there were a lot of hands-on activites for the kiddos. The 3 year old class will go from 9-1130 W & F. The 4 year old class goes from 1230-3 W & F. I am for sure sending Kenah but may also sign Morgie up for the 4 year old class. She is signed up for School Readiness thru the school district but I may do both. She is so bright and outgoing, I know she would thrive and love it. It's going to be more $ but it's worth it I think. I really like that it's Christian-based but not overwhelmed with that. Work was good. Flew by. I picked up the girls and we went to check out a consignment store. Filled a brown bag for $1!! I got some sweaters for now and after being pregnant, the girls got a few shirts and that's about it. They didn't have much today. Due to it being brown bag day so everyone comes out for that! Oh well, I only spent $1! Came home and got supper together. Meatloaf, potatoes and gravy and green beans. I was so productive! Mopped my damn kitchen floor finally, vacummed the living room, our bedroom, girls' bedroom and scrubbed the entry way & bathroom. It's clean! Yay! DH came home in a good mood from work. That's rare lately since he hates his job. Looks like he will be getting moved to the evening shift within a few weeks. He'll work from 1:30-whenever they are done. Usually 10 or so. It has its pros and cons. Sigh...just can't do anything about it. Who knows? It's a touchy subject but am hoping that we get through it okay. I just want him to be happy at work. He is miserable now. My mom came over to visit and brought treats of course! Marsh downloaded some music, I read the paper. Morghan crashed early b/c she didn't take a nap. Mykenah played with her potato heads. She loves those things! Cheap fun toys! I got a dilly bar b/c I was craving! And that's about it. I am going to check my boards quick and then I am off to bed. I am so tired tonight!! Until later...
Ugh, I am so confused about these preschool & daycare decisions. I think that I have it figured out and then up pops another dilemma. I think that I need to just get it all out in writing. Hence, I am here to do that. Ok, assuming DH switches to the 2nd shift. He'll leave for work at 1 pm. Assuming my hours stay the same, which they might not, I'll get home at 2:00. For 1 hr, the girls and baby would have to go to dc. Unless, they go in the morning so DH can sleep in from working late. Which I really am not sure about. I would rather not do that. Maybe I can switch my hours to getting off at 1:00 and then they wouldn't have to be in dc at all. That would be great except for one thing. They really love their dc. I mean love, love, love it! They are so bonded with their providers. It would be a terribly hard adjustment. So, there's one of my dilemmas. I think no matter what their hours, we would have to pay for 25 hrs. That's the minimum for part-timers. Urg, what to do????? I think it's just a decision I am going to have to make. DH isn't much help. As far as preschool, I know Mykenah is only going to do one program. That is all she is ready for. There are 2 choices. The one Morgie is in-SP or the one I visited yesterday-CK. I really am leaning towards CK just from a first impression. Though, I really like a lot of what goes on, what Morgie brings home, programs, etc. at SP. Another dilemma. Ok, now for Morghan. She has 3 options. SP, CK and SR. SP is where she is at now. I do like it but see a few cons. Her teacher is okay but not really "warm" at times. I think that's the appropriate word. The rate is also increasing next year. I do really like the classroom and facilities. SR is a go for sure. It is thru the school district and I have heard nothing but raves about it. I know the lady who teaches it and she is wonderful. I also think that is a little bit more kindergarten-geared. I will miss the Christian atmosphere, so that's why I was thinking of also enrolling her in CK. If she did both, she would go to school from 1230-3 on Wed, 830-1130 on Thursdays and 830-1130 and 1230-3 on Fridays. Fridays would be busy for her. I am thinking though that it would be good for her. Especially b/c the next year she will go to kindergarten all day, every day. We do not have the half day option here anymore. So, I am just stuck here. I think I know what I am going to do about preschool. Totally up in the air and fighting tears on the dc though. I need to go eat some lunch now though. Until later....
Today was okay, tonight is ****ty. Let's see. We got out the door okay. Ran DH's lunch to him but forgot to pick up his ****ing cigarettes. He doesn't need to be smoking in the first place I don't think. Whatever. So, he calls me at work and asks where his smokes are. Oops I said. But then said, you had half a pack last night. Where did they go? Well, Lance must've took some b/c I only had 4 this morning. (Lance is DH's nephew that he is letting stay here.) For one thing, DH doesn't smoke alot. And we sure as hell can't afford to keep buying **** that Lance is using up. I said fine, I'll go get you some and put them in your car. I didn't say anything about L b/c I wasn't going to fight about it from work. Work was good. Flew by again. Tomorrow I am off. Have to take Mykenah to her first dentist appt. Oh joy. She is so naughty at appts, I know it will be pure hell. So not looking forward to that. In the morning, I'll drop Morgie off at preschool at 830, we'll leave town at 10 for the dentist and Kiki will pick Morgie up from school at 1115. It's a 2 hr drive to the dentist so I should be home around 4. Long day.... *sigh* DC asked me today if the girls and new baby would be coming back for sure and I said yes. I am not lying b/c I just don't know yet. As of today they are. Who knows? Confusing. We got home and Mykenah crashed. Morghan somehow snuck a pen in her room and wrote all over herself. That child. It's all over her legs, arms and even face. I just gave them a bath and it didn't all come off. Ahh.... Ok, I got supper ready this afternoon. We had chix, augratin potatoes and corn. It was good. But when I got home, I noticed my house was not in the same condition as I left. This pisses me off as I worked my *** of cleaning it yesterday. That's hard to do being pregnant and tired. There were chips on my living room floor and bread crumbs on my kitchen counter. Urg.. Ok, so I mentioned this to asshole DH when he got home. And he went off on me. Um, what the ****? I will make L feel unwelcome, he doesn't want to hear it, blah, blah, blah... Make me puke. I *****ed that it was ****ing common courtesy and he just *****ed back. I gave up and have ignored his dumb ***. I will to for the reast of the night. L was supposed ot stay here for only a bit. Marshall just brought him home one night. No asking me, no telling me, no warning. Nothing. He has been here for 2 weeks now. It's getting real old. Fast. Suppposedly, DH has found him a job. Just waiting for a u/a to come back. Then after he gets back on his feet, he would be outta here. I am praying that day comes soon. I can't handle this. I like my house. It's ours. Someone else living here is throwing everthing off and making me uncomfortable in my OWN home. I own half DH!! You dumb ***!! I am just so pissed I could scream. It's not so much the mess but just that DH made me feel like **** in my home. I shouldn't have to feel that way. Especially over DH's family. They have been a touchy subject the whole time DH & I have been together. Ok, enough *****ing. I think that I am just making myself more upset. I need to go throw the dishes in teh dishwasher and clean up the bathroom. I'll read a couple book to the girls and then we are off to bed. I am just really tired and I know tomorrow is going to be rough. I hate making the girls go through things they hate. Like the dentist. Morghan is usually a pretty good little girl at things like this. Mykenah is labeled "high maintenance" I think and makes it really rough on mommy. I feel bad that I can't pick Morghan up from school. I know it's no big deal but still makes me feel a little guilty. She'll have fun with Kiki though. That's my younger sis, who is 21. They usually do fun things. Plus, it's a 2 hr drive and that would be a bad time for all of us in the cra for that long. I better get going. I hate my DH tonight. Maybe tomorrow I'll love him again.
Today was pretty okay. Not bad but not too great. We woke up late!! I had terrible dreams. One I got into a car crash with the girls. And the other DH was a murderer!! Very scary and freaky!! Ick. So I woke up 20 minutes late. Oops! Quickly got the girls up and started getting ready. We did end up back on schedule somehow. I guess that's b/c I didn't fold a load of laundry like I usually do in the mornings. I'll have to do that tomorrow. Took Morghan to school. She was happy to be there. Ran right into her teacher's arms! I gave her a million kisses and hugs and reminded her that Kiki was picking her up. I felt bad and cried on the way home. Mykenah & I came home and I picked up the house a bit. Loaded the dishwasher. We left the house and went to get gas and some snacks. Got on the road. She did pretty darn good. We stopped once for potty break. She stayed dry the whole time! Yay! Got to the city and stopped at Hardee's to eat. It was okay. Went to the dentist. Mykenah did okay. Cried some and fussed some. She did open her mouth though after awhile so they could check it out. (dentist and asst) Turns out she has 2 cavities. Just like I thought. The dentist also mentioned her bite and that she will probably have to have braces later in life. She also said that about Morghan. Hmmm, 2 teenagers in braces?! Geez, that's going to cost an arm and leg. Have to go back May 2nd to get those fixed up. We were outta there by 1:25 and back on the road. Stopped at DQ for a slush on the way home. I thought Mykenah would crash but she didn't! Almost did but then I stopped for gas and she awoke. Came back into town and went to the po to mail my ebay box. Got that off finally. Went into work to check some things. Came home and Kiki brought Morghan back. Turns out they had fun! Went for a walk. Got a slush and a chili cheese dog! A typical day out with Kiki!! Marshall came home and I was still ignoring him. He kinda just put down his paycheck on the table and wrote out a check so he could get some cash. I was pretty pissed still so I went off on him a little. Told him that I will never ever feel disrespected in my own home again. He argued back. I laid down for awhile and cried in our room. The girls were downstairs with him. He knew I was very upset. I then ran to the po to drop off our bills in the mail and to the bank to deposit his check. I came home and his sister and my friend Kim came over. They were passing through. It was so nice to talk to Kim. I can talk to that girl for years. She is a single mom and always in some dysfunctional relationship. Her stories always make me laugh though. It felt good to just laugh hard with a friend. They left and Marsh came up and apologized. He promised that it would get better and I apologized for being so *****y. He hugged me and that felt good. But it's just pregnancy hormones mixed with being broke. I just want to get caught up soon. I need to go summer clothes shopping. And I mean just probably consigment stores and WalMart so it's not like we are just a little broke. We are a lot broke. L will be paying something per week to stay here, not sure what. But hopefully that will help us get caught up. *sigh* DH and L went to SF to visit some friends and family. They don't visit I guess, the proper word would probably be hang out. Drink or whatever. He'll be home late tonight or tomorrow. The girls didn't nap today so hopefully we can sleep in. I'm hoping!! Kiki came back over. We all went out to eat at the China buffet. Cheap and awesome!! Yummy!! Then went to visit my mom. The girls got 50 million treats like usual. We got back home and I got them in their jammies. They are now lounging on the couch. We are all going to bed soon. I am beat. DH called to check in. It's nice to be getting along again. When we do, it's great. We are going to church again on Sunday. Need to get on the right path for happiness. I hope faith will do that for us. I think I have decided that Morghan will only be doing one program next year. Even if she could handle it, still don't want to send her. It'll her last year before she'll be in school every single day and I want to enjoy her just being 4. It did kinda hurt to see her hug her teacher today when she won't be going back there next year. I am just a really sensitive, emotional person and cling to things like that. Now that thought will stay in my head forever and tortures me when making decisons like this. I think I am pathetic. Okay, blabbering here. I'm so tired. Off to bed.....
I said I was tired like 4 hours ago. Yet, I am not asleep. It's so strange. DH came home with L and a cousin of his. They went out to the bar. Usually, I just go to bed. But I can't sleep. I feel like something is just wrong. I don't know how to describe it besides like a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Urg! I wish Marsh would hurry and get home.
Marshall got home around 2:00 I think. I was still awake. Everything seems okay. Not sure what was the deal with me. I thought the girls would sleep in. Wrong! I went to bed around 3 and they got my butt up around 8. Ick!! Maybe we can catch a nap later. Yeah right!
Today was good. The girls got me up way too early though so that sucked. But I was pretty productive. I quick swept the kitchen and vacummed the living room while they watched cartoons and munched some cereal. After that was done, we all got dressed. The girls and I cleaned up their room. They helped, which is such a sign of them both getting older. Especially Morghan. DH then woke his lazy buns up and got dressed. We took the girls outside. It was nice! A little chilly but nice. Was probably about 55. I ran to the store to get some stuff for lunch. Came back and grilled hotdogs and hamburgers. Came in and also had chips & dip with the hotdogs and hamburgers. Pickles and the fixings too. Yummy. Grilled is always better! We all stuffed our faces. Morghan then threw a fit b/c she wanted to go back out. I told her after awhile so she got all pissy until she found SB on tv. DH & I watched a movie. He then went to take a napand the girls & I called Kiki. She came over and we all went for a walk. A long one too! I am so damn outta shape! We stopped at DK and got a slush. Mykenah got mad when she had to leave b/c she wanted ice cream too! You could definitely tell that it was nap time!! We eventually got home. I remember sitting on the couch with DH and girls and complaining of being tired. Next thing, I zonked out. Mykenah did too by me. Morghan stayed up with Marsh. I woke up at 7:00!! :O The girls and DH already ate. I did so just awhile ago. I cleaned up their mess in the kitchen and gave the girls a bath. Morghan should crash soon since she didn't have a nap. Mykenah is kinda crabby. Must've not slept long enough. My mom and Kiki came over to visit. Brought the girls a treat and chatted for awhile. That's about it for tonight. Oh, I went outside and brought in the girls' bikes, the stroller and the outdoor chairs. And the grill. No plans for the rest of the night. Will maybe check out a pay perview movie. I am still kinda tired. Lazy bum that I am! Will do church in the morning. Until later...