Or so I thought. :roll:
I am so pissed off at my husband. We were having a great day and then he went and fucked it all up. I seriously just want to run away from this house screaming. I have cried and it's not helping. I am feeling empty. I need to be alone, yet I cannot. I think I am going to go soak in the tub and shave my legs. I hate Marshall tonight.
I have a headache. Actually, have had it for days. I am just stressed about multiple things but do not feel like I could put it all down here without some bitch throwing it in my face or gossiping about me later on. I am feeling a little scared about what may be. I have that ob appt next Friday and I am a little scared. I do not want to go through pain, I do not want to find out any bad results, I also do not want to have a huge medical bill. Geez, we have enough of those. I hate this baby belly. Ick. I got skinnier sooner with M & M than I am this time around. Dimitri was definitely worth it but I just would like it gone. My prize is a belly button piercing when the belly is gone.
Now I am just sad. :cry:
Woke up bitchy today. Grrr.... :x
Need to get a few things out of my system............
I hate followers. I hate people that say this "I totally agree with what xxxxx says" or "I agree 100% with xxxxxxx." Do you have a brain of your own? Any original thoughts in that cranium of yours? The truth hurts for some. :shrug:
The girls and I made popcorn balls. Talk about sticky fun!!!! :biglaugh: We even made them orange for Halloween!! Cool, huh?
Blah, blah, blah.... That is all I see. :roll:
:blahblah: :blahblah: :blahblah:
I hate Sunday nights. Just because I know that I have to go back to work the next morning. Also means that I have to wake up super early and get back into the swing of things. Back to the weekly routine. :roll: Ick. Morghan has dance on Monday nights though so that's fun. She won't have school this week at all though because it's MEA. (Minnesota Education Association) Some sort of special conferences that teachers are supposed to go to. Mykenah will just have school on Wednesday. Bummer b/c they both love school. I have my appt on Friday. Getting more nervous about that.
I love my kiddos so much. Sometimes I just look at them and want to cry. It's hard to get out into words but I love them so much it hurts sometimes. My heart leaps at the thought of them growing up. I don't want them to grow up and be adults. I want to be able to hold them, rock them and smell their sweet baby scent forever. :cry: I have a lump in my throat as I type this. I was holding Dimitri and almost started crying. But this is life, now I can sympathize with my mom.
Is it weird that I haven't told anyone IRL about my ob/gyn appt on Friday. Well, besides my mom and Marsh. I guess I am the kind of person that does not like a big fuss made out of me or too much attention. :?
Almost done with work today. Yay!
I got this in an e-mail from my sister. I really liked it.
Paul Harvey Writes:
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice
cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And
it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but
when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
Friday we went and got pumpkins. Morghan and Mykenah thought those were the coolest!! We got 5-one for each of us. Also got our other Halloween decorations out so we are now festive!! :pumpkin: :witch:
I am addicted to Ebay!!! It's crazy how much cool stuff there is on that site!!! I am bidding on like 3 cool things, hopefully I win them!
Morghan's favorite ballet song-
"Dancing Your Dreams"
Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen
A prima ballerina, that's what I want to be.
When I dance and close my eyes,
This is what I see,
White feathers, princess crowns,
Satin shoes, and gorgeous gowns,
I'll be Cinderella and you can be a queen
Spin on a snowflake or reach across moon beams
Bright as the starlight, or that's just how it seems
In the spotlight it's pure magic, dancing your dreams
To be a ballerina, takes more than I can say
Let's go ask someone who knows all about ballet
New York is the greatest place.
There's so much to see.
Broadway has the brightest lights.
There's Miss Liberty.
King Kong climbed the Empire State
Still the place for me
This is Lincoln Center, it's where I want to be.
Remember as you practiced,
When all is said and done.
Even if you're not so great,
It's still a lot of fun.
In the spotlight it's pure magic, dancing your dreams
I woke up feeling like complete shit. I overslept on purpose just because I couldn't get out of bed. I had this huge painful headache on the right side if my head, like even under my eye. And my wrist was killing me. Don't know what's wrong with that. Maybe tendonitis or carpal tunnel? It hurts and has been for awhile. Like when twisting it a certain way-pouring laundry soap in or turning the steering wheel. Ouch!! Then I got to work and my tummy is now feeling upset. I can't wait to go home and take it easy. :sick:
Edited, don't want my words used elsewhere
I just got a really nice e-mail from an old co-worker. Wow. I miss that job. Not the every day bullshit but the people. Wow. I am kinda sad. It was a full-time job (800-430) so that sucked. And I made less. I guess I just miss the friends I made. But in good news, tomorrow night I am going out to supper with some of them! Yay!!!
I hope my Ebay stuff comes today. Well, some of it at least. I ordered Dimitri a snowsuit and matching hat. It's Children's Place and light blue. Adorable! I got the girls' new winter hats. I thought that their coats would fit that I was given but nope. Too small. Bummer. So, I was looking around for coats for each of them. I found two so hope I win them without having to pay a ton. This stuff adds up! Especially with 3 kiddos. :shock: Oh and then I saw the cutest Old Navy coat with matching hat and the price was low, low, low. So, of course I bidded on it! Don't tell Marshall!! :biglaugh:
Okay, got one of the hats. It's super cute!
Supper is smelling good!!! I made this recipe that Kim posted. Chicken with veggies. I added potatoes, carrots and celery. Covered with a mixture of spices and french onion soup mix. Yum, yum, yum!!! :hungry:
Edited b/c I am just not doing this anymore.
Kinda having a bad day. Not sure why. I think my hormones are a little out of whack. I stopped taking that Zoloft. Not sure it's PPD. I think it's just knowing that D is our last baby and that chapter of my life is closed. (thanks for those words Julie.) I also really miss my grandma. I saw a post about Oct being breast cancer awareness month. Her cancer wasn't breast but still. Just the word cancer makes me sad. Knowing how that shit eats away at you until there is nothing left makes me so sad. Especially for someone who lead such a healthy and good life. It just breaks my heart still. I get joy though from knowing that she is watching down on my kiddos. I am also sick of money issues. We got behind when I was on maternity leave and now we are struggling to get caught back up. When we bought this house, we didn;t realize how much the utitlies cost each month. It's outrageous. Some days I would love to go back living in a small apartment and trade this headache in. I love my house and am proud of it but some days it doesn't seem worth it. Oh well, I'll survive. I am an adult and this is life. Marshall's family is mean. They don't care about him and only call him to mooch something. He receieved no calls on his birthday. Not even from his mom. Geez, I know I'll always call my kiddos on their birthday plus send gifts and whatever. The annoying ladt at work was fired yesterday. That was ackward. She was just not getting it. I am lucky to have the job I do. It's a wonderful job for this area. Geez, these thoughts are just puring out of my head. I think I really needed to vent. I have been thinking about Christmas. I have no ideas of gifts yet though. I wish I was one of those people on the ball with my gifts bought already. But I usually shop after Thanksgiving and get everything in one day. I'll probably do that again this year.
I miss my photo gallery!! :cry: I have a bunch of new pics to share!! BOOHOO!!! Hopefully, it'll be up soon. I'll try to be patient.
Tomorrow should be a busy day. After work, the girls will get their hair cut. Then, I get to go out for supper with my friends from my old job!! Yay! That should be lots of fun. They told me to bring Dimitri so they can see him again. Mom is going to watch the girls.
Ok, I'm pooped. These headaches are getting ridiculous. Ick. But proud of myself for having the house mostly clean and having the laundry caught up. Go Kelli!!
I actually got up on time today. I also had the time to put on makeup and do my hair nice. I feel good.
I am so hungry!! I wonder if the patch increases appetite? Seriously, after Dimitri was born my appetite went way down. That was good for losing weight. I could eat maybe once a day & be full. Now after using the patch, I am hungry like all day long. This sucks b/c I am trying to lose the last of the baby weight. This won't help at all! I am going to ask at my ob/gyn appt on Friday. If it promotes hunger and weight gain, I am going off of it. I want to be skinny again so I can get my belly button pierced!!
I need to go do a bit of laundry. Ick. Went and got the girls' haircuts. That went well. They were really good there. 2 hours left and out to supper!!!
My kiddos are super cute. I am cute. My whole family is cute. Life is good.
That's what my hairdresser told me today. When I walked in, she said "Kelli, you look cute!" "Especially for having three kids." I was flattered. Sheri is cool!
These damn headaches. I wonder if the patch promotes those as well?? Wish I was still nursing then I probably wouldn't be on the patch. Oh well.... Got home a little bit ago and trying to get everyone settled down for the night. Will update later!!!
I am tired but will try to do a quick update. Going to try to get to bed early. :yawn: Let's see here...... Got up on time for once! Yay Kelli. Dropped Mykenah off at school. Didn't barely even get a smooch goodbye. That crazy girl was busy playing right away!! Work went by fast. Had some work to do but couldn't get some cc processed b/c that darn site was down. Oh well, will have to do them tomorrow. :roll: Came home and cleaned up a bit. Took the girls to get their haircut. They behaved pretty well. Thank goodness! Came home and almost dozed off. Oops! Judge Jusy woke me up. :biglaugh: Just kidding, that's what was on the tv. But when D is cuddled up in my arms, it's so easy to fall asleep right along with him. But I have Morghan and Mykenah to keep me awake! Got them their supper made. Something easy. Mom came over. Dimitri and I went to meet my friends at the restaurant. That was a good time. We laughed and laughed. Especially about the extra hairy gentleman at the next table over. :biglaugh: Ick!!! Came home and cleaned up some more. The cleaning never ends here!!!! :roll: Oh well, life I guess. Got Mykenah into bed. Dimitri dozed off for a bit. And Morghan is now getting into bed. I am going to check my Ebay things, take some Tylenol and hop into bed. I am wiped out!! Night.........
I sort of went to bed at a decent time and I overslept again. Like way overslept!!! Oops!! I woke up, looked at the clock, proclaimed "oh shit fuck" in the loudest tone possible and got ready like a mad woman. At least I had time to put the dog out. Now I am sitting here tired and looking not so great. Oh well, who the hell do I have to impress? I am making a good supper. Can't wait! And tomorrow work is only a half day. Wish I was off doing something fun though. Nope, it's the icky appointment. Yuck.
I am way addicted to Ebay!! It's getting bad! Oops!!! :oops:
All kiddos will need new carseats. Going to look for some now.
Geez, they are so expensive. But it's something you MUST have. I insist on that. The kids will be in them practically forever. I will not take any chances. I wonder why some parents do? Seriously, it is so common to see some cruising around with their kids not in a seat, unrestrained or whatever. What the hell are they thinking? Dumb f ucks. Stupid asses. :x
Ok, I think I got my siggy moved over to the new gallery okay. Let's check...
I am now very nervous for this procedure. Hopefully, the cervix will look fine so we can skip the biopsy. My mom is going with me. We also are going to bring Dimitri. The nurses gave me hell at my 6 wk postpartum checkup that I didn't bring him with. So, he is coming this time. I need to stop at WalMart after the appointment so hopefully I won't be in pain or anything. I need to calm down now and stop getting myself worked up. Eek!!
I just got home. And am feeling like total shit so need to lay down. My appt was moved back, all 3 kiddos went with & they indeed had to do a biopsy. Yuck. Going to catch a nap if possible now.
Oh and to make things worse, I was at my appt when the auction for the winter coat for Morghan ended. Some fucking asshold outbid me by .50. Fuck off!
Update posted on other board-
I was scheduled for my colposcopy and possible biopsy today. The appointment got pushed back when my ob was called in to deliver 2 patients and also for an emergency c-section. My mom and I were just going to go but it turns out we had to take all three kiddos becuase my dh's work wouldn't let him come in late. Assholes. I got in okay and the colp went okay. And I did end up getting the biopsy. That hurt. Like a hard pinch. Damn!!! But I suppose when you are getting a piece of your cervix cut out, it will hurt. Got out of there okay, have to wait to hear the results. Should be about 10 days. Way too long for impatient me. Found out that Mykenah had been naughty as hell in the waiting room. She told my mom that she hated her once, called Morghan a stinky robot (no idea where in hell she got that) repeatedly and stomped goldfish into the carpet. :eek This girl is having some issues. I believe that she is feeling a bit left out. Morghan helps out a lot with Dimitri and then poor Kenah is left with nothing to do. I need to try to have a talk with her. We have had the "hate" word talk and need to do it again obviously. But she did take a nap this afternoon and is good as gold tonight. I took some Ibuprofen before the appointment as recommended but they have worn off. My vagina (sorry-TMI) is sore, I am cramping & am a bit sick to my stomach. I am also having some icky discharge. I am just supposed to take it easy until feeling better. Not like I need convincing in that department. Just thought I'd post an update!
I woke up feeling a little bit better down there and then I went to the bathroom. Now I am sore again. Ouchie!!! It kids feels like someone kicked me hard in the crotch. TMI but oh well, deal.
I am a big whiner baby. :crybaby: I would love some peace and quiet so I can lay down and rest to start feeling better. Can't do that though with Marshall sleeping in. What a numb-nuts!!! :argh:
The girls have a birthday party to go to soon. Maybe D & I can catch a little nap while they are of having fun!!