15 weeks today. I've been feeling a little better, but now I have a cold/sore throat that's been making it's way through our family.
My numbers from my nuchal screening came back. My numbers for T13/T18 were good, 1 in 6000-something. My DS number came back at 1 in 298, which is 1/3 of 1%, but it's still not what they consider "normal" so it's offically a positive screen. They want it to be 1 in 306 or better, so I missed it by 8. We're going in for follow up blood work next week. At 18 weeks we'll get a level 2 ultrasound. From there, we'll decide if we are going to do an amnio. My feeling is if they find any physical characteristics that make them think Down Syndrome, then we'll do the amnio to find out for sure. Otherwise, I don't want to risk it.
I had my 16 week appointment yesterday. My uterus is above my belly button (shouldn't be there until 20 weeks, but I'm short, so I'm not surprise). The heartbeat was good, 140-160. It was hard to measure since she wasn't using a doppler with a readout, and the baby kept moving away from the doppler. She didn't do a fundal height, but I think that's mostly after 20 weeks. I gained 2 lbs since my last visit, but since I had lost weight from my first visit, I think I'm at even. With Joseph, I gained 5 lbs in the first week I found out I was pregnant! (No, not baby related, finally off my diet related )
I got a flu shot (ouch!) and she listened to my lungs since I've had a bad cough for over a week. I didn't have to pee in a cup! Apparently I'm free from doing that until 28 weeks.
We did some blood work for the integrated screening test -- essentially I did the quad screen yesterday and they will take those numbers and combine them with the first trimester/NT numbers to come up with an integrated result. This is fairly new, as before you either did the first trimester screening, or the second, but not both.
Our number from the first screening came back 1 in 296 risk for DS. That's better than my age risk (before testing) of 1 in 189, but they consider that a screen positive because it's worse that their (arbitrary) cut off of 1 in 306. But the test is skewed against those over 35 such that women over 35 almost always end up with a positive. I wish I knew that before I took the test.
My level 2 ultrasound is scheduled for December 11th.
My clinic is one that has 6-8 midwives. You are encouraged to meet every midwife, since you will get whoever is on call when you deliver. We did that with Will and ended up with the only midwife who didn't have clinic hours. It worked out since she was marvelous. With Joseph, it was more important to me (even before we knew of his problems) to have a consistant caregiver. With Will, every midwife would measure me differently and there was no continituity of care. During Joseph's pregnancy, we had been seen my mostly Karen, and occassionally by John, when Karen was not available. John is the midwife that guided us through our tough decision of not delivering Joseph at 26 weeks even though that is what the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors wanted us to do. He shared some personal experiences with us, and made us see that we could choose to not deliver and still love Joseph.
When I was in labor for both Will and Joseph, I called the 24 hour number and spoke with the midwife on call. Both times I ended up with the same midwife, Jill, who told me not to come in, and was wrong both times. (I arrived at 10 cm with Joseph). Yesterday Karen offered to be there when we delivered, that she (or John, if something came up) would be available at anytime to come, even if they weren't on call. They knew that I didn't have the best experience with getting to the hospital, and they know my labors go fast. The offer made me cry. Here are two people willing to work extra to help make sure my birth experience is a good one. I'll feel funny taking them up on this, but I will. I would love to have either John or Karen deliver this baby.
I'm totally bored at work. I have a couple hours left and I'm totally bored. I work a half day tomorrow, since I'll be traveling to Chicago for girls weekend! My friend from college and I haven't seen each other for 4 years. I told her that she had to do this now, or wait until 2011 when I no longer had a nursing baby.
Still waiting on my integrated first and second trimester screeing. We officially got a "screen positive" with our nuchal screeing for Down Syndrome, even though the number got better than my age number was.
I'm not sure if I have felt this baby kick. I'm much heavier than my other two pregnancies, and I have an anterior placenta. I did listen to the HB yesterday and could hear the baby kicking and moving away from the doppler so I'm not worried about it.
Dreary weather and a sick DS doesn't help either. Night before last, DH got up with DS. Yesterday after dinner, DH said "not that I'm complaining, because I know you do this all the time, but getting up with DS at night really takes a lot out of you the next day". Gee, do you think? Try doing it while pregnant. DH doesn't usually get up with DS, since DS calls for me. If DH goes, DS gets all upset and I end up having to go in anyways, and then DS is really awake. The other night he called for DH. It was nice, but I laid in bed listening to DH trying to get DS back to sleep. It's not easy. I'm glad he has a little taste.
It our 4 year anniversary today. We've been married for 1460 days and I've been pregnant for 895 (and counting) of them. Sheesh, that's a lot.
We FINALLY got our numbers back from our combined first and second trimester screening. It took 17 days instead of the quoted 7. But in the end, the wait was worth it! Our Down Syndrome risk was high before (an official "screen positive”). It was 1 in 286, rather than 1 in 306 for normal. Our new number, combining the first and second trimester screening brings our number to a wonderful 1 in 4,005! Our risk for T13/T18 got better as well; it is now 1 in 250,000. The second trimester screening also tested for Neural Tube Defects (such as Spina Bifida, etc). That number (overall for all NTD) is 1 in 49,251.
Our "big" ultrasound is next week. I'm excited to find out if it is a boy or girl. Boy names are so hard for us (probably since we've used 4 already, 2 for each kid). Girls names, the hardest part will be choosing between the ones we love. Our 12 (actually 13) week ultrasound they said boy. We'll see if they are right. I believed them for a while, but now I'm starting to have "girl" feelings. It might just be wishful thinking though!
We had our big ultrasound today. Healthy baby! No signs of anything bad, good nuchal measurements, right on target for dates. No club foot, no cleft lip. Good kidneys, good bladder. No signs of Down Sydrome. We're so happy
We're past halfway. In some ways this has gone much faster than previous pregnancies. I remember wishing to get to 20 weeks with Joseph, and how long that took. But also this is slower. I just want to see my healthy baby born.
I think about Joseph too at this time. We missed Christmas last year because I was in the hospital. We eventually opened presents, but slowly over a couple of weeks. We didn't even get to them all before Joseph was born. DS1 just realized a few days ago that he gets presents at Christmas. I'm a little sad to thing that he didn't realize it because Christmas didn't really happen for him last year. But also part of it is that we're not encouraging Christmas to be all about getting presents -- I've seen too much greed in other kids not to want that to be the focus. He's excited that Grandma is coming, and that he'll get to play at his cousin's house.
Will doesn't seem phased at all that he's going to have a brother, when he asked for a sister. We've been asking him to come up with names, but so far, he's only given us names of his friends. "How about Ozzie for a name?" he says. Ozzie (Oscar) is the little brother of one of his friends. I guess Ozzie must seem like a good little brother, if he wants to name his brother it. But Oscar is out --not traditional enough for us! We're more into traditional names such as Edward, Thomas, James, Samuel, etc. Not that you can't tell that from the previous names we've used.
So I finally sent in the application for Joseph's certificate of stillbirth (like a birth certificate). We're fortunate that we're able to get some acknowledgement of his time here by the state. Some families aren't so lucky. It had to be in before 1 year, otherwise, it's an additional $40. I just made it under the wire.
It's hard to believe that we're coming up on a year. It feels like it was so recent, but obviously can't be since I'm halfway through another pregnancy. I'm not sure how we're going to honor Joseph in a couple of weeks. I've already taken the day off from work since I know it will be hard.
We had a nice Christmas with my family. We hung a stocking for Joseph, and we had his ornament that I got last year with his name on it. We hung it near the angel on the tree. I thought that would be a good place for it.
It's a good thing I work from home, because everytime I write about Joseph I cry. I didn't think that I would be like this still.
The anniversary of Joseph's birth/death was on Tuesday. It was a hard day. I felt that he was forgotten by most everyone. My mom called late in the day, and one friend sent flowers, and the women from his birth board remember, but the rest of my family didn't.
This is pregnancy is hard, because I just want to hold my healthy baby just so I know it is real. I haven't really been "invested" in this pregnancy, because I'm just so scared of getting my hopes up. We need a few things, not much because it's a boy, but there are things I want to get him. Also, we need to arrange the house some, to fit him in. I'm just such a pack rat, I need to purge out the junk so I don't feel overwhelmed with stuff.
I told my husband the other day that if someone wanted to make a lot of money they need to invent a time machine and they could be rich beyond their wildest dreams with just selling it to pregnant women. I can't imagine making it through the next 14 weeks without losing my mind. I know it's getting hard because I'm coming up on the same time that we lost Joseph (29w5d). But beyond that, I've essentially been pregnant for 55 weeks with nothing yet to show for it. It's depressing. I'm sick of being pregnant and just want May to come as quick as possible.
Had my 28 week appointment yesterday. I passed my glucose test, gained 3 lbs, and am still measuring big, by about 6 cm. They aren't concerned because I've been measuring big since week 20, the first time they measured me.
I was able to make all my appointments through April 25th. I hope to be delivered by then, so I didn't make any more