Nice girls don't lie
This will contain my random thoughts.
My sister and I just spent the past half hour on the phone trying to think of a fun name.
Sad that this is the best we could come up with.
We often wonder if we are as funny to others as we think we are.
The name came from my two year old daughter, Arianna.
Here's the conversation we had last week:
I had just gotten out of the shower and Ari had a red mark on her head.
M: What happened to your head?
A: Dada do!
M: Dada do?
A: No!! Mama do!
M: Mama do, or Nana do?
A: (sigh) Nana do.
M: Did you just lie to Mommy?
M: Nice girls don't lie!
A: (BIG sigh) I know mama.
At least she knows....................
I realize I should tell a bit about myself.
I'm Jennifer (Jen). I'm sarcastic, opinionated, hot-headed, b*tchy, melodramatic and hilarious.
I'm married to an incredible man - my soul mate, best friend, lover.
I have two daughters, Arianna Nicole, age 2 and Sophia Elena, 9 weeks.
I'm a SAHM and some days I want to either flush my kids down the toilet or jump off the roof (there's that sarcasm).
I will never be anyone's idea of a perfect mom - and I don't give a crap. I have good mom moments, and great mom moments. At the end of the day, I love my kids beyond words and I do my best (though some days my best sucks).
I'm so far from being the perfect wife it's not even funny. But, my hubby is okay with that.
So, that's me in a nutshell *how did I get in this nutshell??* (there's that hilarity).
If I had some super power, and could change one thing it would be that babies aren't allowed to get sick. Ever. When I say sick, I mean real sick - like fatal sick.
No Mom should ever have to say goodbye to her child. It's not fair. It's just not right.
Being a Mom is THE hardest thing I've ever done. Seriously hard.
My darling two year old is jumping on my last nerve. We just took away the paci and it's been awful. She refuses to nap most days and by the time bed-time rolls around she's a BEAR.
I hate mommy guilt (much more on that later, don't have time right now). I hate second guessing myself.
But man, those baby smiles and big girl hugs and kisses make it all very much worth it.
She weighs 12 lbs, 4 ozs! She's 24" long - so she's grown 3.5 inches and gained almost 4 pounds! My big girl!!!
Her Ped said that she's "advanced" (I really don't know what that means at 2 months!) - she's holding her head up well, and tracking objects 180 degrees, putting weight on her legs, etc.
Then, she palpated her stomach and said her liver is enlarged. We're going for bloodwork to see what the problem is.
I'm doing my best not to freak out. I refuse to google it - I'll send myself into a panic. I hardly slept last night.
We went through something scary with Arianna when she was 8 months old. She had a high fever for several days, and they didn't know what was wrong. They sent us over to the hosptial for blood work and a urine analysis. The blood work came back with a high white blood cell count. Her ped called us at home in the evening to talk about it. She refused to tell us what it could mean. I said, "it's not life or death, right?" - she said, "I really don't know". Waiting for the second test was incredibly hard. A million different things went through my mind. I was a complete mess. Everything ended up fine.
Which means I keep asking myself if we are going to be that lucky twice.
If anything happened to my sweet baby girl I honestly don't know how I could handle it. Losing my niece about killed me.
We go for her blood work tomorrow. I hope the results come in quickly.
We got Sophia's bloodwork done on Thursday, hopefully we'll get the (good) results on Monday. I'm a nervous wreck.
My amazing husband bought me Harry Potter last night. I stayed up until 10:30 (late for me!) reading. He's going to take Arianna out for lots of errands today, so I can chill and read. I love that man.
On Thursday when we were leaving for the lab, Arianna said that her nose hurt. We looked up it and didn't see anything. While in the waiting room, whe sneezed and out flew a "pretty" (a hair band). Unfortunately it was bright green and the waiting room was pretty packed. I guess she shoved it up her nose during nap time. Oh the life with a toddler. At the very least, it's not boring.
She has recently started saying "boppity boo!" and I figured she was "playing" Cinderella. But alas, I was wrong. My sweet 2 year old is using it as a cuss word. When she gets mad at me or her daddy, she'll say it, her voice full of disdain, and leave the room. So, in toddler-speak, it either means f-you or she's trying to make us disappear.
She is also a bit obsessed with my breastfeeding Sophia. Here are some funnies:
When Pia cries, she tells me, "sister wants to eat boobie!".
Once, when Pia was crying, she lifted her shirt up and said, "sister, you want a bite?".
She brought a play cup from her kitchen, lifted my shirt and asked me for some milk!
She nurses her babies, and uses toy that resemble my breast pump on her own boobie.
The innocence of her, the purity of her mind is amazing.
I DESPISE that nurses won't give the lab results over the phone. The Dr has to call. Seriously - do they not understand what mom's go through, anxiously awaiting test results?
Still no news. I'm going a bit insane.