25 years old now!!! Brian is turning 30 in 1 month!!! Where has the time gone???It really amazes me how quickly it went by. He was 21 when we met, at Cafe Cappucino in Bay City,MI. I was only 16. I never understood why age was such a big deal. That mantra "age is only a number" What a lark. The only people who say age is only a number are the ones who need that defense, or are sticking up for someone who does. We were wrong. Yes, it turned out beautifully, but we are the exception and know it. We were married the week all my classmates graduated highschool. I had dropped out a few months before garduation and got my ged. I wore my mom's dress, Bri wore a white tux. My Aunt was Justice of the Peace, and my Nana cooked all the food, including a traditional polynesian wedding cake.(Carrot cake style, we didn't like the taste, but it was beautiful) Now we are staring our 7 year anniversary in the face, and it is amazing!
Trinity Lace...my angel baby girl. How did the time pass while I slept and allow her to turn into this spunky 5 year old? It brings tears to my eyes to see her doing something and rememeber doing those same things at her age.Some of the faces she makes, or questions she asks flash me back. She really is her own person, with a piece of me living on in her! Such a girly tomboy :P All about pink and tree climbing, princesses and trains. SHe is as rough and tumble as they come, yet she wants fresh nailpolish everyday.She picks up on theories so quickly. Homeschooling her is both easy and difficult. I am actually intimadated by how much she absorbs, and love that she grasps and takes off!
Christian Matthew...how in the world he turned from being a screaming,fit throwing banshee into the sweet little guy he did is beyond me. He gave the terrible twos their name, made the threes look 10 times worse, and now at 4 is so mild, and lovey. He will shine those gorgeous blue eyes at me and say for no reason, "I love you mama" and I almsot gasp. Sure, he still has a few moments, usually when Trinity is antagonizing him, but overall he has done a total 180! Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when he brings home his first girlfriend...will I be okay with my very classically handsome guy dating? I really hope I am not one of those"noone is good enough for my boy" women. Yikes...too scary! :P
Gavin Conner...about to turn 3! My fiery redhead He is the one to cause me the most fear. There is a yet to be determined problem, be it his hearing or something else. He is doing so much better now that I am working on sign language with him. He doesn't get frustrated so often, the screeching is slowing down, being replaced with signs and garbled attempts to talk He looks so big! Tall and thin.I adore his red hair, and if I am to be blest with another babe I would be thrilled to have another red
Logan Xavier , 9 months and moving forward at an alarmign rate! He is standing by the couch and letting go already! Stop that :P He is such a different baby...very laid back, but boy will he yell if he wants to! He has some very curly hair showing up, moreso than any of the others! He is one of my revelations. I always said I wouldn't have a super big baby...that if they weighed that much at that young an age the parents surely were overfeeding. Then I had Logan, who was born a mere 7 pounds, and shot to 15 by his two month check. At 9 months he is 24 pounds. Almost ebf, definately not overfed Said God to the overly judgemental mom...learn! and she did
Mom...what a beautiful spirit! She passed away on Dec 20,2002, at 46 years of age. So young I miss her so badly that I get a lump in my throat daily. When she was in so much pain and hallucinating at the end I prayed for her to be comfortable. I said if it took death for that that I was okay with it. I lied. I wanted her comfortable and alive. I want her to be gramma to my kids. They still talk about their special gramma on a daily basis. I am going to fill this entry out later, every time I try to write about her I cry at this point.
Mandi...wow...my little sister. I still can't get over the fact that she is a Sergeant in the Marine Corps, over in Iraq fighting a war! I miss her so much. It is so hard to know she is still freshly grieving mom's loss(even harder than I am in many ways...she didn't have peace when mom died at all) and has to push all her feelings to the side because she can't afford to not pay 100 percent attention.I worry how she will be when she gets home, has access to alcohol.
She is such a beautiful girl, yet so torn up inside over many things. She married Scott, loved him so much, and he beat her until she had to leave for her own safety. He told her how worthless she was, how he didn't know how she tricked him into marryinh her because he never loved her. He crushed her so badly. The story of her life. So many people have hurt her, and she struggles to stay on top of the pain. Most of the time she does it, but when it is unleashed it is pure devastation. Suicidal tendancies come pouring out, and she is like a small child who has no world left.
I hope she comes home safely...
Michael...my little brother. I hate that I don't have more of a bond with him. He was 13, I was 15 when mom and dad divorced. He went with dad, I went with mom, and we have not been close since. He just picked up Sergeant in the Marine Corps as well. His two year anniversary is this summer, though he won't be home for it He is in Okinawa until January. Jaimie, his wife, is stateside, she decided not to accompony him Why is beyond my knowing. Anyway, I am trying to keep in touch more.