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  1. #111
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Thanks Jina! I think he's the cutest kid ever, but I admit I could be ever so slightly biased.

    Haha, no, it's not really called the Cool Park. I think the real name is Falcon Park, but we started calling it the Cool Park because it's way bigger and has way better equipment than the park near our house (which we call the Cow Park - also not it's name, but it has these wooden spotted cow figures standing around the park.)

    So here is what I wanted to write about last night, but didn't have time.

    The Cool Park used to be a lot cooler. What I mean is, last year, the playground equipment looked so much BIGGER. I thought that all of the slides were so much higher and bigger than they are. But I guess that was because T was so much littler, watching him climb the steps and go down those "big" slides seemed so...dangerous. I was literally shocked at how low most of the equipment is - if he fell off of it, it would hurt, but he might not even get a bruise. It's crazy how my perception of the world changes as my son gets bigger and more capable.

    Speaking of capable, guess who climbed one of those curved playground ladders all by himself? I didn't even know that T could climb a ladder, let alone one that makes a 90 degree curve at the top. But he surely did, and wouldn't let me help him or touch him at all. I was proud.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  2. #112
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    *Ahem* Where is the update from Friday?
    Ryan and Rachael
    Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate

    ~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~

  3. #113
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Oooooh! Yes, I didn't write about that here! We saw the heartbeat. It was 118/min. The doctor says that as early as it is, they just look to see anything over 100, so it's all good. Everything looks good. I'm very happy.



    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  4. #114
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Default My Get Up for the Bachelorette Party

    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  5. #115
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    I don't know if you're a sling mama, but I got this in my email today:

    Go to the Seven Slings website, click on "Shop Now" and select any baby carrier you would like (be sure to go to their sizing page so you can get the right size carrier for you). Once you have selected your size, you will automatically be directed to the "shopping bag" where you can enter the promo code "FAMILY2011". This promo code will take off 100% of the baby carrier purchase and all you are required to pay is the shipping fees.
    Ryan and Rachael
    Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate

    ~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~

  6. #116
    Mega Poster JKfmAustin's Avatar
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    Love the outfit and the wig!! Looking Good! I hope you had lots of fun!!
    Jina (30)
    DH (32)


    DS - 1/31/13 - My IVF Miracle and the love of my life!!

    MC 8/24/10 @ 12w
    MC 1/31/11 @ 11w6d
    MC 8/18/11 @ 8w1d - ID Twins!
    CP 12/20/11

  7. #117
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Thumbs down I'm on a roller coaster, only it's not any fun.

    8w2d

    I recently promised myself that I was going to try to stop stressing about this pregnancy. I want to be able to look back and say that I enjoyed this pregnancy - as much as I enjoyed being pregnant with T. I LOVED being pregnant with T - even the GD wasn't so bad because it made me feel great to know that I was taking great care of myself and of him. Eating well for us almost became a ritual - it was satisfying. And the rest of it - squeeee! I loved my pregnant belly. I loved my maternity clothes. I loved feeling him move. I loved planning a nursery and buying all of those adorable tiny outfits. It was such a happy time in my life.

    I want to recapture that feeling with this pregnancy. I want to feel that full of life and joy as I look forward to this next little one. But I think I'm traumatized by my previous loss - every cramp, every bit of spotting, everything looks like "the beginning of the end" to me.

    I was actually doing a lot better recently. I think it helped that I hadn't had any spotting for about a week, and I was starting to get comfortable. But then I woke up this morning, and all of that is gone. I'm back in a bit of a tailspin.

    I had a LOT of spotting this morning. Almost all of it was brown/pink with just a few streaks of dull reddish mixed in. But a lot of it - at least, that's how it seems to me. It wasn't enough to need a pad, but it was there everytime I wiped from about 6:30 am - 1:00 pm (and trust me, I wiped a LOT. I was in the bathroom roughly twice an hour every hour during that time to check and see if it was turning red or getting worse or whatever.)

    I think it's going away again now. I just checked again, and there was only the faintest traces of brown. That is somewhat comforting - I think I expected it to turn into heavy bleeding, and at least that hasn't happened.

    I told DH about it this morning, and he reminded me that the doctor told us that spotting was okay as long as it wasn't like a period, and wasn't accompanied by cramping. This wasn't like a period and wasn't accompanied by cramping, so DH pronounced that he believes that I am fine. I hope he's right. And then to prove to me that I'm still pregnant, he intentionally said something to gross me out and make me gag. He's a prince of a guy. LOL

    I didn't have spotting with T. It just figures that the pregnancy that I was bound to be more nervous about anyway is the one that has all the scary crap like spotting. Hello Murphy. I think you dropped your law.

    I'm thinking maybe I just overdid it yesterday, and that's why I spotted today. Thinking back, yesterday was a pretty active day. Yesterday morning, I was outside helping T ride his new "big wheel" tricycle. It's slightly too big even though DH moved the seat up as far as it goes, and he is also new to this whole pedaling and steering concept, so I had to keep leaning down to either straighten his handlebars to keep him from dumping himself off the sidewalk and into the street, or help him get started, or else push him uphill since his little legs aren't the strongest yet, and it doesn't help at all that he is trying to pedal with his toes. That was extremely tiring.

    Then we had his birthday party, which was fun, but also slightly tiring and involved being on my feet for about 2 hours straight.

    Then, we went home and I was inspired by the influx of new toys to do a much needed spring clean/reorg of T's bedroom and our living room (which doubles as his play room, since our house is smallish) so I spent several hours cleaning, sorting through drawers, putting things in boxes, carrying things up and down from the basement and up and down from our second floor, and whatnot.

    I capped off my night by walking down to my parents house for a visit, and then back (not very far, but I was beat by that time.)

    So yeah, if it's true that a lot of physical activity can cause spotting, I can't imagine where mine came from.

    I think I'm going to spend tonight sitting on my couch with my feet up.
    Last edited by Alissa_Sal; 06-13-2011 at 05:52 PM.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  8. #118
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    Sorry again about the spotting scare, Alissa I agree, stay on that couch with your feet up! And by the way, Hannah's playroom is partly in our living room, too. I so need to do what you did -- sort and organize her toys! I had them organized at one time...but don't think I did that great of a job, lol. Once I get them organized this time, I'm only going to allow her to have ONE container of toys in the living room at one time.

  9. #119
    Community Host Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Probably most of the people who read my journal already know, but anyway, we found out yesterday that we have had another loss.

    I feel...foolish. In retrospect, it somehow seems so obvious that we were never going to have a baby in January. Like it was some sort of twisted fantasy that I made up in my own head. I keep looking at the u/s photos, thinking "I'm not crazy right? That actually happened, right?" The whole thing just seems kind of disconnected and surreal right now. I feel like somehow I got it wrong, like it was completely stupid of me to tell people and to join a birth board and post belly pics (belly pics??? Apparently I'm not looking pregnant so much as just getting fatter) and let DH start stripping the wall paper in the spare bedroom. How could I have ever believed that I was going to have a baby?

    Rationally, I know that I didn't do anything wrong, that it wasn't dumb to carry on as if I was pregnant (because I was!) but emotionally I seriously just feel embarrassed and tricked and pathetic.

    And mad. God I'm mad. I want to scream at somebody, but there is no one to scream at. It's no one's fault. It just is. But oh I wish I could just read somebody the riot act. I wish I could stick my finger in their face and tell them to go straight to hell and get totally out of control and beat on their chest with my fists until my fists hurt as much as the rest of me. But there is no one there. It's just me and my stupid broken body, and my poor stupid broken body doesn't need any more abuse than it's already taken and will have to take still before this is over.

    If any good can be said to come from all of this, it is that I have never felt closer to my DH than I have in the past 8 months, and especially now. Going through this together has brought us closer still, and I am so grateful that he is here and that he is mine. I feel the same way about my gorgeous amazing funny little boy. What miracles had to happen to allow him to be born? As DH said, what this leaves us to do is "love the $^*& out of T." Indeed.

    Okay, I'm out of steam for the moment. More to come, I'm sure.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

    Got an opinion? We've got a board! Come join us for some lively debate on the Face Off! Debate Arena board.

  10. #120
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    ((HUGS)) I have to ask a question, Alissa, because I suffered so many losses just like yours... the ones where we saw a heartbeat but there was all this light brownish/reddish/pinkish bleeding and then the devastating losses. Has your doctor checked your progesterone at all during pregnancy? It was only after 5 losses that we went to see a perinatologist (high risk specialty pregnancy doctor) that he figured out the problem. I'm hurting for you.

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