You make me laugh, Alissa.
I'm glad you have a plan and that you are getting more energy-- that is awesome. I'm thinking great thoughts for you!
You make me laugh too. I just throw change into my pocket and then directly into my glovebox where it sits until I need something. I'm so happy about the energy thing; I wonder which one is helping the most?
Thanks Ladies! I make me laugh too.
Just some updates on the whole health/pregnancy overhaul that I have going on. My doc called me yesterday and said that we can add low progesterone to the list of reasons why I might be having reoccurant miscarriages. *Sigh* My poor messed up body. My doctor even commented "Every time we go looking for something with you, we find it!" Awesome. So once we start TTC'ing again, I will take a progesterone supplement during the second half of my cycle every month and then continue taking it until about 14 weeks once I get pregnant.
I also went and saw the hematologist yesterday. It's kind of funny because DH had an auto-immune thing (ITP) a couple of years ago, and he went to the same hematologist while all of that was going on, so he knows the doctor and most of the staff there. On a side note, how weird is it that two relatively healthy, active people in their late twenties to early thirties would both get auto-immune crap within a couple of years of each other? My GP was even wondering aloud if it's somehow environmental. Anyhoo.
The good news is that I don't appear to have Lupus at this time. I tested positive on the blood test for some sort of non-specific lupus test, but I don't have any of the other symptoms that would justify a diagnosis or treatment for lupus, so I guess it's just something to have in mind if I ever do start experiencing weird symptoms.
He said that the thyroid thing is most likely Hashimoto's Disease, which is basically where the immune system attacks and damages the thyroid. I pretty much knew that was happening because of the blood tests, and I am being treated exactly how they treat Hashimoto's (Synthroid) but I guess it is good to have a name to call it instead of just calling it "The thyroid thing."
The clotting thing that I may or may not have is Antiphospholipid Syndrome. My tests showed elevated levels of anticardiolipen which is seen in Antiphospholipid Syndrome. But, my levels were only slightly elevated, and I guess that they usually look to see chronic elevation to actually diagnose Antiphospholipid Syndrome. So I have to go back in two months and see if it is still elevated. If is has gone down, then they probably won't have me do the Lovenox shots (have I talked about this? If not, to bring you up to speed - we're in the process of deciding if it makes sense for me to do daily shots - in the stomach - of a blood thinnner called Lovenox during my next pregnancy. For reals.) If it has gone up, I will definitely have to do the shots. If it has stayed the same (which is his prediction) then we will have a tough judgement call to make, because the fact that only have very slightly elevated levels and no personal history of blood clots wouldn't usually indicate the need for blood thinners, and it's not like taking a daily shot of blood thinners to the tummy for 9 months is no big deal. On the other hand, I do have a history of reoccurant miscarriages, which would indicate that maybe the shots ARE needed, except of course that I have so much crap going on with me anyway that who knows if clots were even the problem with the last two pregnancies. Fun, right?
So to recap, the things I have going on are:
1. Hashimoto's Disease, which can affect pregnancy, but I would have to treat that no matter what, so whatever.
2. Low progesterone - which means that I would prob need to take progesterone supplements if I was TTC'ing/pregnant
3. Possibly Antiphospholipid Syndrome which may mean daily shots of blood thinners if I get pregnant.
4. A folic acid thing, which I think means I would have to take extra folic acid if I get pregnant.
Am I crazy for thinking all of that is doable? Like, part of me thinks "My body is whack. I need to just give it up and focus on being as healthy as I can be without putting any more stress on it." And the other part of me thinks "What? That's no big deal!!! That's like what, 4 pills a day and a shot, and I take two of those pills anyway! What's the big deal? That's why we invented modern medical science, so that stuff like this didn't have to be a deal breaker!"
If you're reading this, what would you do? Please, I really would love to know what other people would do in my situation. Leave me a comment or send me a PM - I would love to get a few new takes on this.
Wow! That's a lot to take in and part of me thought I'd throw in the towel but another part of me thought it would be worth it for another baby. Not an easy decision but I do want to throw one more thing out there for you. Just what you want right? Did they test for Celiac disease in your blood tests? If not it may be worth checking on. It can cause infertility (it is a very high reason for infertility so I'm not sure why doctors don't test for it more often) and miscarriages. It is also an autoimmune disease and is commonly tied to thyroid problems and other autoimmune diseases like Hashimotos. It's worth looking into at least.
Thanks Cindy! Oh my goodness, I'm almost scared to ask my doctor about anything else. Like he said, every time we look for something wrong with me, we find it!!!! I'll keep it in mind though.
Yeah, my thought process is almost the same. Part of me thinks it's absolutely ridiculous how many things are "wrong with" me and that maybe having another baby is just not "meant to be." The other part of me is insisting "They are all treatable, none of them are too risky, and it's affordable. It's just kind of a pain in the rear. Story of my life. Isn't another child worth going through a few pains in the rear?"
Ok. I know this is going to sound horrible since all the other stuff really adds up, but I'm so glad you don't have Lupus.
I'd wait and see. I wouldn't give up the idea, but I would definitely take some time to think about it. What's he thinking? Men are usually more hesitant to take risks than women when it comes to the woman's body from my experience. The shot in the belly would throw me for the biggest loop.
Lillie - You and me both, sister. I've heard that Lupus is NOT fun. You're right about just taking some time to think. I'm not even planning on considering TTC'ing again for at least another two months until I have my second set of tests come in and hear whether they really do think that I have Antiphospholipid Syndrome and also see how my thryroid levels are doing. So plenty of time to contemplate. DH is leaving it at "It's your body, so you have to decide if it's worth it." I guess I'm glad that he'll support me either way, but it sucks to have to make the decision by myself too.
I'm in a weird, kind of sad but also kind of disconnected mood today. I don't feel like retyping, here is what I posted on the TTCAL board:
I can't believe it's been almost a year since my first loss. 10/25 will be the one year mark from the day I found out. I know that I shouldn't feel this way - I'm sure that I've done lots of good things in the past 12 months. But I swear today I just feel this kind of weird unreality, like a whole year has gone past and I am no closer to having another baby, further even, because now I have to decide if that's even a path worth going down. I know that the importance of my life and my years should NOT be based on whether or not I ever have another baby. I have T, and DH, and my family, and my friends, and my job, and my home. I have a lot of great things in my life to be grateful for and to give my life meaning. But I'll be damned if just now, at this moment, I'm not feeling awfully sorry for myself and feeling like a whole year of my life just got away from me somehow.I just realized today that this time last year was right about the time that I was finding out that I was pregnant with the first one I lost. What an utterly short, bizarre year this has been. If things had gone differently, I would have a 4 month old right now. Or be about 5 months pregnant. How strange.
Ugh. Zoloft, a little help, please? Haha, I think I thought when I agreed to take it that it meant I wouldn't have to feel sad anymore. That's a scary thought, isn't it? Turning off your emotions entirely with a pill a day. I guess it doesn't work that way, and I should be glad it doesn't. I just have to snap out of it and stop feeling so freaking sorry for myself. So many people have been through so much worse. I need to stop complaining.
Alissa, if I were in your shoes, I'd take the pills and everything else to have another baby... I'm not one to think everything happens for a reason, in fact I think it's all pretty random, so if someone has trouble getting pregnant, some people might argue that it's God's plan or something, but I'm pretty much the opposite and think if you really want another baby, then a few months of extra hormones and other things is worth it... I have a good friend that had 3 miscarriages before starting progesterone and then got pregnant quickly and had 2 beautiful children since then!
I know sometimes it's hard to focus on the positive when you're just feeling crummy, but "this too shall pass", right? Hang in there!
Thanks Charlene, that is kind of where I am leaning as well. I am also not a big believer that all of this is God's plan. I think that it's probably a sort of random combination of my genes and my environment. I can't help but wonder if I had taken better care of myself, if things would be different. Like, I keep expecting a new study to come out and say that Hashimoto's can be directly linked back to spending too much time sitting on the couch eating chili dogs or something. "New Study - Drinking too much red wine linked to auto-immune disorders." LOL
Oh well. We all have our stuff that we have to get through. I can't help but feeling hopeful that now that we know all of this stuff, and we know how to treat it, maybe, just maybe, that means that I actually can have a healthy pregnancy. Not necessarily a "normal" or even "easy" pregnancy (I don't know that I would call daily shots "normal" or "easy") but a healthy one none the less.
Hey, one bit of good news. I haven't stepped on a scale in a while but I think I might have lost a little bit of weight. My mom and dad both commented on it when I saw them this weekend, and it seems like my pants are all fitting more loosely than normal. Which is nice. I haven't really changed much - I am still trying to walk on my lunch and breaks, and I trying to go to the gym 4 days a week (2 days of Zumba, 2 days of doing whatever I feel like), and trying to watch what I eat (with varying success.) So I think probably the Synthroid is helping a little bit with that. And my hair still looks okay too. I would say that the one thing that I have noticed is that I think I'm slightly more fidgety than I used to be. I have noticed a lot of times when I'm just sitting at my desk at work, my leg starts bouncing, going about a thousand miles per minute. I don't remember doing that very often before. If that's the worst of the side effects, then I'm okay with it.
It's likely your weight loss is related to the fact that your thyroid is now under control, which controls your metabolism... that, and the zumba, which totally rocks!
I went through 11 pregnancies to have my 5 biological kidlets... so I like to think of it as God put me in the right place at the right time. Even 20 years ago, I would not likely have had any children. Medical advances are such now that I can have kids.
Ryan and Rachael
Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate
~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~