It has been some time since I last posted...so where do I start? My mom came to visit for my graduation (which was pretty nice). We had a good time together, but I was glad to see her go. Its just that I am so busy I don't have time or patience to answer her every single huh? what? who?
Anyway, so I am officially finished with school (and btw Cindy, I did pass Biology). On the 15th I went to a great Christmas party for the ladies from church...it was loads of laughs. Then on Friday, I hosted a party for the deacons in our church and their wives. I made prime rib (which others raved about, but I didn't like it), sweet potatoes in carmelized onions, green bean casserole, fruit salad, rolls (the ladies brought the last three things). I also made a chocolate bread pudding with caramel pecan sauce (OMG it was good). Sunday, the 19th we had our church Christmas program, which I wrote, organized, and pulled off. It was successful and I am so glad it is over!
John and I opened our Christmas presents on the 19th....he bought me clothes!! I was so surprised, but pleased because he did good! I loved everything he bought me, except some of the things didn't fit my fat butt...so I had to exchange them. He liked his Christmas presents too....a food saver, a new fishing reel, a movie, some other stuff, too...
We ended up staying at MIL again...UGH...but honestly, this time wasn't so bad...she layed off big time...and luckily so, because I was going to say something. Anyway, Christmas with her was very nice, we had a great meal and she always buys us nice stuff. Christmas with FIL was also really nice, he also buys us nice stuff. The weather was nice for out travels South (to Iowa then Louisiana). We spent Christmas day with my family....it was nice. I met my new neice this holiday...she is 5 months old and very pretty!
We drove back to Iowa on Thursday, the 30th (it was such a long long drive). John got to go the Independence bowl in Shreveport, Louisiana on Tuesday to see Iowa State play Miami of Ohio....he was really pumped...anyway so after we returned to Iowa...MIL's house was full of guests...we were on the road for fourteen hours and then have to schmooze.... UGH...anyway, it seemed like everyone understood though.
So we headed for home on the 31st and then decided to stop in Sioux Falls to visit a good friend (we stayed in a hotel) and celebrated New Year's. BIG MISTAKE. The next day was hell on the road...snow, ice, freezing rain, and more ice...OMG and 3 hour trip took us 4 1/2 hours. It was stressful...Glad to be home, but now its a wreck b/c of all of our Christmas gifts, suitcases, dirty laundry, etc, etc...anyway...
John and I finally got insurance but then we got a letter saying he was denied b/c of his height/weight (whatever that means)...I didn't show it to him yet b/c I don't want to stress him out before church...I am going to figure it out on Monday.
So AF visited just in time for the holidays, but she wasn't herself. Sure, she showed up right on schedule, but (TMI sorry)...it was brownish, residual and never actually BLOOD...whatever that means...so Im totally confused, but also convinced that Im not pregnant...so next month we'll have to see...anyway,
I think thats all for now, oh, btw, Im feeling depressed...my house is a wreck, I need a job, I need to go the gyno, my husband is feeling discontented with his job...ugh...we need a REAL vacation!
But, I guess until that happens or I get out of this funk...Im patiently waiting ...but not really because I am going to lose my mind first!
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Why does Conception Seem So Hard?
It seems that women in todays society have so much more difficulty conceiving than women 50 years ago...Seriously, my great grandmother popped out six kids with no concerns.
Is it because we have modern technology? We have the HELP so suddenly we NEED it? Or is it because there is so much more stress in our lives? I've only been off the pill for one month, but my heart goes out to all the ladies who TTC for months on end, sometimes years with month after month of frustration, heartache, etc...
It doesn't seem fair. My prayer for all women is that conception will come as naturally to each of you as it did for Grandma!
So until then, Im hoping that together we are patiently waiting...
So today I started temping. Except John stayed up until 3am and I slept on the couch until then. I had planned on getting up at 8am to temp and start cleaning this disas ter I call home, but I was too tired and didn't set the alarm...So I temped at 9:45 instead. Okay, so hopefully I will get better at this...
Anyway, so I need a job. I know of no jobs in this town and so Im feeling extremely frustrated...John offered to get a second job if I would take care of the house and the church office work...I don't t think that would be fair to him...so I don't know and he is at a point that he thinks I should take any job despite my degree...
So Im getting ready to call a midwife for an exam...Im nervous. I don't know why...I just am. What if she tells me that its not a good idea for me to be off the pills, that I should wait on ttc.? I think I would cry, no, I know I would cry.
I wish I could get references for a midwife BEFORE I call...but I know she is CNM, so that helps...Also, Im afraid that she is going to tell me that there must be some mistake b/c Im already pregnant...I would be thrilled, but I don't exactly what it to work that way...kwim?
I told John about buying the thermometer and he didn't freak, didn't complain about the money, he didn't even give me his infamous "hmm"! Im definitely impressed!
Does anyone know a good housecleaner somewhere in ND that will receive payments in food? I need help with this house...seriously, its bad! But I guess sitting here typing isn't exactly getting the house cleaned! Oh well...neither is John sleeping getting the house cleaned so we're even.
Baby dust to all and until then Im pretending to be patiently waiting...
I called the midwife and she was able to get me in for tomorrow! YAY! So I will go in for the official PCOS test and all the other useful information and questions that I can throw her way! Which reminds me, I need to make a list of questions for her...
Anyway, I've cried today and I'm trying so hard to keep it together. Im confused, worried, and tired of being confused and worried! Well, Im going to go see the midwife and try to have a good day with John...God knows we need it!
I'd just like to take this moment to send a big hug and Thanks to my friend and Godsent Angel, Cindy! Girl, I would have gone insane without you today!
Well, today I went to see the midwife. She was awesome: very sweet, but real. She did an excellent exam, but before I even got undressed she spent 30 minutes answering my questions, talking to me about plan A, B, and so on! She didn't rush me in and out, she took quality time with me and she was very insistant on calling her or coming back if I run into anymore problems.
She didn't feel it necessary to run a blood test for PCOS because she thought it would come back inaccurate because of the birth control pills and such. She did say, however, that John and I should actively begin trying to conceive so that we can get pregnant sooner. She said that the longer we are off the pills the more likely I will run into problems.
So she prescribed more intercourse! Once, every other day...charting, and Ovulation Prediction Kit. She means business!
As for the spotting goes, she doesn't think its just spotting, its too much blood to be and it concerned her ...so if its not better after 2-3 months she wants to try fertility treatments or something...also with conception...if Im not ovulating she wants to start Clomid very soon too...So, its only a matter of time!