Cathy oh Gosh sweetie :comfort: I am here if you need a shoulder.......
I am sorry this has happened.
((HUGS)) Cathy. Hope it all works out for the best.
Cathy, I saw your away message on YIM and came to check on you. I'm so sorry sweetie. (((HUGS)))
Cathy ~ am here for you ~ you know my number so call if you need. I'm home all day ~Hugs~
Yomi just an fyi, no one is looking down on you for getting pg while on assitance. I think what people were referring to about looking down on you was when you used a fake name and posted against youself. People thought that was odd. It has nothing to do with you getting pg.
Cathy I LOVE YOU MAMA!
JD~Love that new pic!!!! :thumbsup:
Dawn ~ you totally rock! :headbang: Thanks mama!!
I think about you alot hun
JD - my fellow NB-er! Saint John is actually where I was born - spent every Christmas there as a kid, visiting relatives.
In addition to July 2000, I also check in on your journal sometimes - I wish you much luck with your move and lots of happiness in your new house.
Did you get snow yet, by the way? It has been snowing here for three days. In October!!! :shock:
Kelly, that is so cool about the doula stuff! I've been a doula and it is like walking a fine line. I had a lot of practice as a LLLL with giving information, not advice. It is hard though when a doctor is telling the woman something you know is not true, like when the doc was getting out the vaccuum extractor and said it carried zero risk. BS! Plus she had only been pushing for 20 mintues with her first baby and the baby was in no distress. It was dinner time and he wanted to get it done. Burned my cork!
I'm thinking of you often and I am sending positive vibes your way to help you through your pain.
Kin - that sounds a lot like the kinds of things they talked about some on the video. I guess that's one reason to really push childbirth education classes for the parents - then you KNOW they've seen the real facts. Of course, I know first hand how it is to walk through the hospital doors and get into the submissive mentality too. I"m sure i'll work through it fine, and like they say, its one of the hardest parts of the job!
Shan! LMAO! I just love your last message in your thread! Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! (But maybe you should substitute horse for whore)
Anyway... I hope things are well. Thanks for the laugh!
Thank you guys for all the good thoughts - they are helping, they really are. Keep 'em coming!
the boys halloween customes are so cute. they look absolutely adorable.
JD- a HUGE congratulations to you sweetie!!!
Lyndze! Love the kids halloween costumes!
Thanks Ladies got them for 9.99 or less on e-bay or the boys would be costumeless!
Cathy, I hope you realize that the ladies on your board do need and appreciate you! We all want to take care of you just as you like to take care of us! If you need something, please let us know!
Kathy, i'm curious. what did the counselor say when dh brough the boards up? Most people just don't understand at all.
Luckily, dh understands the boards - he's got his own political ones and stuff. The counselor didn't really say anything, other than to recognize I have a group of women that I want to take care of
Vanessa, I know you guys are here for me, I love you for it. I'm sure I will bend your ear from time to time!!!
oh my god where the hell is rebecca?????????????
hmm. i have no idea.
Cath - that's cool that he understands.
good site to use or check out is
it can be a great help to both of you.
HTH and Good Luck
Cathy ~ I'm so sorry your hurting the way you do but I think you've EVERY right to be just as mad & I think he needs to know this .. he admited to you his affair and yet it seems your the one getting all the harshness ..
I'm thinking of you sweetie ~
Lyndze - I just wanted to tell you that I enjoy reading your journal and I am sorry things are not working out right now for you. Your situation is a lot like mine used to be, except I only had one child - you must be wonderful to do it with four boys (very handsome ones, I might add!!)
I was wondering - could you go back to school? College I mean? I don't know if you have CCMS there (I don't live far from you I think - I am in Victoria). I know right now their waiting list is not very long, and the boys could be in daycare while you go to college. (Speaking of which, is Kevin in Head Start?) And I know for sure you could get financial aid, as long as you have a tax return, and you would get good PELL checks that would really help. Plus they do not count as income. Not to be nosy but there was a time when I got pretty down in the dumps and felt just like you do sometimes. And my ex could be related to Robert, I SWEAR he sounds JUST like him!! :roll: uh, deadbeat men, I swear!!
Anyway just had to tell ya I definitely sympathize, but things do get better!!!
Kinkybrat (whose name I ALWAYS forget, sorry).
Thank you for the link, I've been skimming it briefly and I like it. I will try to look into it deeper soon. Thank you very much.
Chimmy, I love you, thank you for being there for me - I'm gonna need your help soon, I know it.
Thanks for the suggestions Angela. I have been looking into going back to school for some time. I just have to get all my ducks in a row so to speak. I have 2 years and am about 6 credits short of an associates degree.
Is Victoria in the Houston Area? I am in Angleton.
Lyndze, would you qualify for daycare assistance? I know that the guidelines are very generous in some states and that way daycare wouldn't cost much at all, allowing you to get a job. A good friend of mine is a single mom, working full-time with her 2 kiddos in daycare. I think she only pays $100/month out of her own pocket and the rest the state picks up. :???: Just a thought maybe??
Yes we are about 2 hours from Houston, down the coast on the way to Corpus.
Kelli - that is what CCMS is (child care management services). When I was raising my son alone and making about a thousand bucks a month, I got CCMS and w/that income and a 2 person household (me and him) I didn't pay anything!! It was such a big help!! I know right now their waiting list (here where I am anyway) is very short, maybe a month or so of waiting. If you enrolled for classes now and applied for CCMS you could have them in daycare by January. And financial aid checks are awesome!! I get about a thousand a semester, after books and tuition. Of course that will stop in a couple of months when I get married but :dontknow:
Anyway Lyndze I REALLY hope you do not think I am being rude!! I have been in the same situation like I said and if I hadn't had someone to point me through I would have never made it, kwim? I remember how badly I thought life sucked at that point - moved 600 miles away from my family to be with this idiot, then left him and had no money, a kid to raise, ex an ass who won't pay child support and bounced checks when he did, etc. (Speaking of which, what is WITH men who can't support the kids they have then they go out and get someone else pregnant?!?!)
And just 6 classes left - wow!! I have about 10 right now so hopefully by the end of 2004 I will have mine (fingers crossed)
OK I'll stop now but good luck!! I really hope things get better for you soon!!
Here our day care assistance waiting list is insane. I have been on the waiting list since DS was born over two years ago. I am a single mom with two kids in day care- I make less than $12/hour, and I pay $240/week for day care. :evil:
Lyndze- If you do look into dc assistance, I hope that you have better luck than I did!
Lyndze: I know you don't want too, and not sure how similar things are in TX vs WA (which is where I am) but you can have his checks garnished...which means you get the money BEFORE he does...no more bounced checks...it sounds like the ONLY way to get his sorry butt to do the right thing
To do this, you have to apply with the Attorney General. Let me just say that when I applied, my ex only owed about a grand, now he owes 5K. I gave them his SS#, DL#, address, parent's address, you name it. Somehow they "can't find him". :roll: I filed over a year ago. Suffice to say, they have done nothing.
Would be great though!! It's just an awful process.
sounds like TX is more lame than WA state is...am really sorry to hear that...is pathetic when you can have all the fun donating sperm indiscriminately and not pay child support...really hope things are going better...maybe the threat would work? I know the AG can be a royal pia but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do
Lovemy3babes- You are in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck and Bless you!
Lovemy3babes-Thinking of you hope everything goes well tomarrow I will be praying for you!
Lyndze you don't have to apply with the attorney general, at least I did not have to. I am in VA. Our child support goes through The Department of Child Support Services and the government does not run it as far as I know. If he misses more than 3 payments, I think, then they will garnish his checks. It's just that simple. By going this route it has eliminated so many problems for us!
I have not looked into Day Care Assistance here before because I have always had a decent job and child support but I am about too loose my job and go back to school so I may be looking into it...nice to know that it might be a wait if I can get it...
Kelly, hon you are in my thoughts! Hang in there and let us know how it goes! ((((HUGS))))
Lyndze check out this website it might help...I just read that someone said you did not want to have to go this route but it might help...I have not looked over the entire page but it might help?
WA is the state of the single mother.
it is? I have a friend that was a single mother for ages and she gets screwed all the time.....have another friend that is a new single Mom and she isn't getting much help either...having to pay for "parenting" classes she can't afford to get a divorce etc etc etc...
oh yeah, and if you make min wage, they start cutting food assistance, and now are going to start charging for medical assistance for the kids...WHAT A CROCK
Thank you ladies so very much!! (((HUGS)))
see my journal for replies, did not want to write a book here.
sorry there aren't any easy answers...but hope you find SOMETHING...have a friend in almost exactly your position...SOMETHING has to give...hope it isn't YOU!
Hi Lyndze! He is getting big, huh? It's sad. Stop over to the '99 board when you have a chance. We miss you hun!
Oh Lyndze good for you about the money!! You should move here . . . I talked to a friend of mine last night who had filed for CCMS not even 3 weeks ago . . . they called her yesterday to set her up. Just in time too she starts work Monday!!
anyway can't believe robert came through! Good for you!!
Carolyn, I soooo want to see pics of your new do!!
Added them for you Kelli Thanks for asking about it
You look great!!!