I spoke to Michael about how I was feeling and he said - we can only do what we can. Things will be okay. If they aren't - then when we are up to it we'll adopt. Which is what we've always talked about doing.
I'm feeling more rational now - and not feeling like dooms day. I know I have so much to be thankful for. She is moving so much today. For the past two days, not a ton of movement - just enough to let me know she's there - but today -she's going to town!
We go down this Sunday to San Diego for my nephews (4months old) heart surgery. I am nervous for my brother & SIL, but it has a 97% sucesss rate - meaning 3% have to go in for additional surgery - but those are pretty good odds. They are getting transfered from Oahu to San Diego (Navy). So at least they will be in the same state as us.
Well it was a whirlwind trip to San Diego, but good to see everyone. I knew how small he would be, but it's hard to really wrap your mind around the concept until you see him. He's the most precious little guy. He weighs about 7lbs 10ozs - and mind you he's 4 months old. But he's a fighter & has been so strong through all he's been through in his short life.
Unfortunately they had to cancel his heart surgery for today, because they thought he might have developed pneumonia on Sunday. We are still waiting on the second blood culture to come back because his vitals are good. They now think it might have been a contaminated sample (the first one) so they redrew yesterday. As long as it comes back okay - they should have the surgery Friday.
My poor SIL & brother.... They have been through so much already with this little guy - just keep hoping the rest of this goes more smoothly.
Visiting Austin in the hospital - he's a mover & a shaker as much as he can be. Holding him, loving on him, giving kisses was so great. He's so sweet.
Thank you all for your well wishes - and if you made it thru this long post thank you! I'll keep you posted as I know more.
I'm catching up on everyone, but I don't know how much I'll be posting today - so please forgive me if I don't get to you today - but I'm reading your posts and thinking about you all.
Love & Hugs
It amazes me how strong my brother & SIL are. I guess they have to be. It hit me while I was down there that this is their reality every day. Their other son, Tristian, is a sweetheart. All he wants is for brother to come home - and get out of the hospital. When he says "I love you Auntie" I just want to melt into the floor. He'll be three on Feb 17. Makena and he could potentially share a birthday.
Michael & I are going to register today at Babies R Us - that should be fun. I am going into work tomorrow, but I took Mon, Tues & Thurs & Friday off. A nice, restful week hopefully. I just have to make the mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving.
I haven't posted in awhile. Not much time this week - after having most of last week off.
My little Austin had his surgery last Friday - and did amazing. Better than the drs could have hoped for. He hasn't taken a bottle for months - and now he is bottle feeding like a champ!!! His color looks better, his breathing is better. My SIL said it kind of scares her to get so much good news. Before, it was always here's one tiny good thing and here are the 15 huge bad things... He should hopefully get to come home this week. If he is doing well they are going to drive up for Xmas.
Registering for baby stuff was kind of fun, but not as much as I thought it would be. I don't know what I expected - maybe just because it was more overwhelming than I thought too. So many different things to choose from.
Michael & I got a lot done in the office, painting, etc so now it's ready for the hardwood floors & the closet to be finished. I also cleaned out Makena's room. It is ready to be painted, have the bead board & chalk board put in. And this weekend we are going to order her furniture & buy her bedding.
We go in for the 3D/4D ultrasound today. I cannot wait to see what she looks like. I don't think I'll cry. I'm not a big crier - I tend to laugh and get giggly when I am happy. So we'll see.
Oh yeah - and I had a drs appt this week. It went well. I am measuring on for my due date. But I am still gaining a lot of weight. Seriously, I need to cut out the Starbucks... My poor legs are so ugly now - I will have to commit myself to an intense workout schedule after I have the baby....
I am going in for the GD test tomorrow morning - which means I have to get up really early - which I am not a fan of - so we'll see...
It's been awhile since I posted in here. Went in for the GD test - it wasn't so bad. Hope I passed. Dogs are good, Michael is good.
Makena has been moving like crazy. Which I love, but sometimes keeps me up at night. Definitely getting less sleep than I normally like to - getting me prepared for whe she gets here?...
My nephew, Austin, continues to do well & improve for which I am so thankful. They may be coming up for Christmas, which would be great.
We ordered the crib & dresser and the glider rocker last weekend, but it probably won't be here in time for the baby shower, but that is okay. The rest of her nursery hopefully will be.
I have been having the same annoyingly painful rib pain. And a burning sensation underneath. The dr said it is normal, but it sure does hurt!! I just cannot get comfortable.
81 days until she gets here - I cannot wait!!! (well I can bc I want her to be as healthy as possible ) It has seemed to fly by. I am really scared of getting the epidural -and want to try natural - but all the BTDT moms IRL that I talk to are like - oh yeah, give a shot, but you'll be asking for the epi. I want to say - how do you know? I'm not you - and we'll see, but I don't. I keep quiet. One day I might just have to say it.
Tomorrow is the "Come meet the baby" party for my ex-boyfriend and his new little one. He was with a girl for a couple weeks - they got pregnant - tried to work it out - but it didn't (yeah, didn't see that one coming...) and they broke up when she was about 6 or 7 months pregnant. Then they stayed in contact - she was supposed to call when she went into labor - didn't and called him after the baby was over a day old... Needless to say he was not too happy.... And she is the whitest girl you will ever meet & she named the baby (wihtout the father there) Mateo Cruz! So everyone just calls him Matt. Anyway, Michael & I are going to go and see him. It seems weirder than it is - but I still have a good friendship with the family.
Then there is supposed to be a surprise bday party for my SIL - but then the BIL calls & says he doesn't know if he's going to have it bc he doesn't have the money - like he's hinting we should lend him the money... Hello - if you don't have the money - don't have a party!!! Everyone is more than happy to do a potluck thing and just play background music from the stereo like a normal people.
Then on Sunday is my office Xmas party dinner. Should be fun. Busy weekend. I hope we get some painting done too. Just little things here & there to finish in the living room - Michael still has the really tall areas to paint in other areas of the house (like 20ft up!). He is meeting with a contractor today to see about getting some of the finish work done in our house - Makena's room, a closet in the office, an built-in entertainment center downstairs - and a door to the gym. I would love to have all that done before she gets here. We'll see.
It's been awhile. I had a drs appt today. All was well with me and with Makena. My dr told me today that she is leaving her current practice on Feb 18... and then taking a week off before starting at the new one (which is covered by my insurance -so I can switch to her there) but it means she'll be back to work the day before my due date....
It was all I could do not to cry in the room or before I left. I know that I am so fortunate to have had such an easy pg so far, but it really came as a shock that the dr that I have built a relationship with and trust might not be my dr at the end.