Still not feeling much like writing in here. I took Noah to the library for story time. He threw a fit and cried through most of it. Some of the other kids had a drink and were drinking on thier cups. He started screaming for his juice. UGH I thought you were not supposed to take drinks into the library.
I bid on a walking tape on ebay. I am really serious about starting to exercise and lose this weight. It is the only thing in my life that I can be in control of so its time I take it back........
Tyler told me he hates me tonight and called me a *****. I just dont know what the boy thinks sometimes. I know I yell too much and I really try not to. They just wont pick up after themselves and then its left to me. I know that Dave will just be screaming about it when he gets home.
Its a continuous circle. Clean or be yelled at that its not clean. I am not a cleaning type person. I try but seems to just get away from me. How did I end up the way I am. I was so in control of my life before I got married. Am I happy? Is this the best it can be? Where or what would I do if not here? Why am I even thinking about these things????????
I am going to lose this weight and get control of my life I am I am I am.
Feel good about yourself and the rest will fall in place.
I love being a mom I love I love I love there I said it enough maybe I will remember all those years I didnt have a family or a baby and be thankful for the ones I have. Why does it have to be so hard?
I know this isnt making any sense. I am just typing away and letting whatever comes out come out.
I love my family and I love my husband thank you God for them...... there with that said I am going to bed.
Going to take a day or two to get some thing straighend out in my life. Starting with a plan to exercise and eat healthy. I talked with dh and things are at least out there to be discussed. I can not blame him for everything. I know I am wrong too. We just need to work on some things together.
So if im not here for a day or two. Dont worry I will be back.
I have tried to stay away today and have been back at least three times. What can I say I am addicted to being here.
Things are so much better. I took all day to think about things that I needed to change and things that I could change in my life. Things that would make me feel better about myself. I wrote Dave this huge email and he replied. I was shocked. He came home last night and was a completely relaxed different person. He stopped at a car dealership on the way home and looked at minivans. We have a big one but need /want to get something smaller with better milage. Keep the payment the same with something newer and smaller. WHoo hoo I am so excited. He said I know how much you have wanted to trade the van but we wont decide till you look and see them. WOW the old Dave would have just driven home with something and said do you like this..... So I guess that is my Mothers day gift a new van.
I am going to excerise and start dieting again. I know I should start a diet / fitness journal but I am too lazy to so will just bore you all with the details here.
I am really going to try to work on keeping the house cleaner. I know that makes Dave happy and I hate I mean really hate to admit it but it does help with ones outlook to have a clean house.
I feel refreshed and ready to take charge of my life again.
Then again it could be a pms thing and those days are gone for this month. LOL
Making meatballs and spaghetti for the boys since Dave will be at softball. He doesnt like it so the boys will love it.
Just need to get my laundry today and exercise and clean up the house.
If I could just get Noah to wear some freaking clothes. He strips all the time and pitches a huge fit if you try to get him in clothes. He wont wear diapers anymore he runs to the package of pull ups and puts one of them on. Looks like I am finished with diapers and moving on to the next step.
He has pooped in the potty or near it for almost two weeks. Now if I could get him to pee every time in there.
Justins birthday is on the 12 and I have nothing planned. i was going to do it next weekend anyways. Maybe even Friday evening. Couple friends to a movie?
Well I should go and pick up the living room again and get the rest of the dishes ready to be washed.
It so nice to feel better about oneself and wake up refreshed and not wake up feeling like your ready to go hide under the covers again.
Went to the car dealership today and found out which car we are getting. We are getting a 2002 kia sedona. It wont be here till Wednesday its on its way from Florida and will be at our dealer on Wednesday. So Wednesday morning we will go over and get it. We got into this one with no money down and its two years newer than what we were thinking of getting. It also has 10,000 less miles than the one we thought we were getting. We were going to have to put down 1,000 dollars on top of our van trade in but now we dont have to put anything down and our payment is the same as it is now. Whoo Hoo. It is going to be so nice I just can't wait.
Dave cleaned out the garge this morning when we got back. It was really bad and its so nice to have it clean now.
Tyler lost his new glasses. I so cant wait till he can wear contacts. Please let it be soon.
Did our shopping tonight. Even found a razor scooter for Justin for his Birthday on Monday. He will be so excited.
Well its late and I am tired.
Happy Mothers day to all my friends that are mothers tomorrow.
Yesterday was Justins birthday. We took him to pizza hut for his special dinner. He had a good time. We were at kmart before we went and found a bike for Tyler. LOL poor kid he got a bike on Justins birthday. I asked Justin if he wanted to get one and he said no. He just doesnt want to ride a bike or even learn. The neighbor lady went and she got him 2 ps2 games. She spoils them. She then was at kmart with us and got them a street hockey set.
Dave has been on vacation and we have been cleaning all week. Today we got the boys room. Let me tell you that was a chore. Only thing left to do is the rest of our room. We even found Tylers glasses. He lost them the other day and I have looked everywhere. I was talking with the neighbor and she found them under the van. LOL they must have fallen out when Dave was in the van looking for Tylers baseball shirt.
Speaking of van we get our new van tomorrow. I am so excited about it. I can not wait to not be driving that big one.
Oh Justin got a razor scooter and he loves it. He has been scooting around on it for days.
Noah has been a little heathen. He keeps pooping on the floor and taking his pull up off. That boy is going to drive me insane. He is so busy.......
Only thing on the plan for tomorrow is to do our room and get the van.
We have lobster tails to grill tomorrow for dinner. Hmmmm will be so yummy.
Still no van and its beginning to piss me off. The truck was supposed to be here yesterday but hasnt gotten here yet. I hope it gets here today. I am ready to get rid of the other one.
Took a huge walk last night. It was nice to get out and have a adult conversation. I went with my neighbor. I orderd that walking video off ebay and it should be here sometime next week. I can not wait to get started on it. I have been doing pretty good with the eating thing. Not many carbs and hardly any white flour.
The house is clean and as much as this hurts me to say it is really nice. I only have to pick up a few things each night and its all done. I hate it when he is right.
He took the car into get a oil change and has to have the brakes done. Yikes there goes money were planning on using for something else. We have freaking over draft charges and that really really makes me mad. I checked the account last night and after midnight they were not cleared then this morning they show up with yesterdays date. HTF does that happen.
Oh well back to week to week. I swear life is a cycle.
Part of me wants to get a job to help us get buy. Its not like we are doing with out basics. We are doing with out extras the dinner out the movies the spur of the moment lets take the kids here things. I know I know just material and we should be happy that we pay our bills. I do like staying home but would enjoy it more with money to spend on what I want. I will not put them in day care and for one couldnt afford to put them all in. So it would have to be something in the evening that didnt require any one having to watch my children.
Other than Dave that is. Wrote that and thought oh no they will think I am leaving them home alone.
The weather has been pretty nice. I really feel better when its nice out and you can be outside.
Well not much going on here today waiting for a call from the car dealer to tell us when we can come get the van.
That van better be here today. My dh is getting a little restless. But now its so late that the minute we decide to go look somewhere else it will be here. So its kind of pointless to get mad now and find something else. KWIM?
I did the dishes this morning and the laundry and the rooms are still cleaned. It is really nice to be so clean. Why havent I thought this before?
I bbq turkey legs on the grill last night they were so good. I used my mustard base bbq sauce from SC. I was saving it for something yummy.
I had a ear ache last night took two sinus meds and then went to bed at 11:30. Noah slept all night. Whoo hoo.
I have been up since 6 am and got all my chores done for the day. I am waiting on laundry to finish and then will have it all done. YIPPEE.
I know that Justin and Tyler are both having sore throats they are whiney and fussy. No fever but you can tell. Justin has some snot issues and drives me insane when they are big enough and dont BLOW it.
I took Justin to target last night alone so he could spend his birthday money. He didnt find anything that he liked. We got one of those fuzzy black posters with a dinasour on it and he colored that when he got home. He had some paper left and colored Noah a picture of himself and Momma. Noah was jabbering all night about it. It was too cute.
Well I have to get Tyler out of bed the big lazy butt. I hope to come back and report that we have a new van and that it is so nice. I hope I hope.
Batten down the hatches its pouring here. Dave got tired of waiting and we went to a dealer to look at a van. Some one somewhere is lying to us. He said no way could the other guy get us into a van that was that new with that type of payment. He said our van was only worth 3,500 on a good day. LOL the other guy said 6,000. I think he is ready to wait for the other guy to come through now. I felt like white trash in this other guys place. I think the first guy was telling the truth. He would not have any reason to lie to us. Or string us around this long. He said today that they were in Virginia.
Oh well if it doesnt work out its not like the van we have is not driavble or worth anything.
Well I dont think that we will do much of anything since its pouring outside.
No van yet but the guy said its on it way. We even got a lot lower interest rate. I say waiting is good. He said they were going to throw in something since we have had to wait for so long. Whoo hoo he mentioned electric starter or something else. I am willing to wait and he said since we gave him a deposit first that we still get first shot. He said three of them are all ready sold. The other dealer that we went to called today to say that they found Noahs cup. LOL Dave is going to drive over in our new kia. LOL they were like there is no way you can get in to that and that the other guy was lying to us. It is going to be great to see him smirk. LOL
I was up with Noah in the middle of the night but Dave let me sleep till 10. Sometimes I love that man.
Tyler has a ballgame today and its freezing again. I really hate to go to them in the cold. UGh oh well. I will go since Dave is waiting for the call from the van. I dont mind spending time alone. I will just take the sleeping bag and snuggle under it.
Dave is a little upset that he wasted his vacation. I think the time away from work was worth it. The house is clean and should be easy to maintian.
We had people over for dinner last night. It was nice. Just pizza but still was nice to see them. I have a pork roast for tomorrow after church. Thought we were having it last night but then they came over. I thought tonight but Dave asked for wings since its a race on tv.
Not much going on except for waiting on the van and Tyler has a ball game.
Missed a day in there. YIkes just when i ws doing so well. Let's see Sunday we went to church and then came home nothing major. Went to a few garage sales. Seems strange to be going on a Sunday but it was all right.
Took the kids to the park later in the afternoon. The neighbor wanted to go for a walk with us. I have been walking alot. It was fun they all enjoyed it.
I was sick last night. Some kind of acid reflux I think. Still not feeling that great. I had about a half a bottle of hot sauce Sat when I made some hot wings I think it was just lingering inside. Ewwwww.
Still no van!! The truck apparently broke down in Virginia and they had to wait on a part. It will be here tomorrow and they will have it all ready when Dave gets off work. So whats one more day when your waiting on a van. Dave asked them to put in a keyless entry if they wanted to add something that wasnt in there. He said that wouldnt be a problem.
this is our last story time this spring and it will start up again in the fall.
We have a bingo party with the pta on Wednessday and Tyler has a game on Thursday. We get the van tomorrow. Hmmm sounds kind a busy.
Noah spilled a whole bottle of ketchup on the floor today while I was in the bedroom slaving away and vacuming their rooms. UGh some days that boy wears me out.
I am feeling better now that I have been execsiing and when I shop again plan on getting some other types of food.
Not much else same ol same ol.