I’m back to work and feeling quite a bit better today, a little stuffy and some pressure in the ears but it’s tolerable. There are some major rearranging issues going on at work and I’m not sure I like what’s being done. Hopefully it will be better than we’re expecting and if not then the only option is to find something else. My new supervisor is an ok guy and maybe he can’t be any worse than my previous but you just never know.
B must be going through a growth spurt because he ate like a horse yesterday. His 4 month appointment is today and I’m looking forward to see how big he’s gotten. I wish he was showing more of an interest in rolling but I can’t force the child. He’ll get there when he’s ready.
I have some more testing going on to see how calm I can remain. DH is getting no where trying to get the insurance company to compensate us for their customer rear ending us, the car has been totaled (it’s still drivable but costs too much to fix it) and they want us to give them the car when they give us the money for it. We are not going to give them the car and this is legal as long as we pay them the amount a salvage lot would pay for the car. They haven’t gotten back to us over the past 2 weeks so I’m going to call multiple times a day until I hear from them and get this settled. 2 months after the fact and we still have no compensation for the damages, that’s just ridiculous. So I’m going to work really hard on staying calm and keeping the blood pressure down.
I’m very proud of myself, I stayed calm when I got a hold of the insurance company and we’ve worked everything out. After we send a copy of our title to prove we own the car they will send us our money, woohoo! I know DH doesn’t have the time to constantly call these people to bug them to death but sometimes that’s the only way to get things taken care of. We’re also getting the replacement part for our dented oven installed today so that’s one more “problem” off our list. These two issues should empty my annoyance list, happy day!
I found out yesterday that the guy we initially thought would be our supervisor isn’t going to be our supervisor, which is good news. We’re going to work more in a group rather than a hierarchy and now it’s just figuring out who’s going to do what. Our true boss will oversee our group and I’m not sure how he’ll want us to work out keeping him updated on projects but that will be sorted out eventually. Of course this could all change overnight.
B’s checkup went well; he’s 13 pounds and is looking better on the chart (up from the 5 percentile 2 months ago) but is still only in the 10 to 25 percentile. His head is only in the 5 percentile so hopefully that will get better by his 6 month appointment. I think the flat spot on his head is looking better, I just hope it evens out more so I don’t feel guilt about my low amniotic fluids for the rest of my life. We talked about solids so I’m going to watch him and see if I think he’s ready yet for cereal, I think he’s close but not quite there yet. I’m sure we’ll be there within the next month.
SIL & BIL are staying with us tonight; I hope we can go out to eat since we haven’t for awhile (good for me) and I’m craving seafood enchiladas, but we’ll see. I need to take my Halloween decorations down and do a quick cleaning of the house. That’s about it for my weekend chores so maybe I can get some Christmas things done. If I’m really motivated I could bake my Christmas molasses cookies and freeze them so all I have left to do is frost them around the holidays, and I can get my list together for the other goodies I’ll make. Also there’s the Christmas letter to work on. I’m planning on finishing my Christmas shopping on Tuesday since we get the day off for the elections, if I could get DH’s family taken care of then we can ship the presents off with everyone at Thanksgiving, that’s such a great feeling.
I still haven’t started my daily exercise routine because this cold is not letting me go, I know excuses, excuses. I’m still stuffed and have some lovely snot issues going on but hopefully tomorrow I can get this ball rolling. It’s at least a bit warmer out so I should be able to get some walks in if nothing too strenuous is doable.
The stove didn't quite get fixed yesterday, DH waited for 2 hours for the appliance place to show up. They arrived slightly late, opened the box and the replacement part was horribly damaged. So DH was very upset that they wasted his time and he made a few phone calls, that's not like him so I know he was mad. Now we get to wait some more.
We did go out to eat last night but I didn't get my seafood enchiladas because the wait was an hour, so we went to a restaurant in the mall and had to wait 50 min there. At least we could walk around during that wait though I spent the whole time feeding B and trying to get him to fall asleep.
We played Cranium last night and discovered BIL does not like board games. It was a little painful at how much he didn't care so it ended fairly quickly. We love the game but we'll never try to play with BIL again.
B and I hit Target and Michaels today, I bought a few necessities and some Christmas presents. My goal is to put a few pictures on the wall, work on the Christmas Letters, start some scrapbook pages, and get my Christmas molasses cookies baked. If it all happens great, if not there's always later. MIL called while I was at Target so they may want to see us tomorrow, if so I definately won't get everything done.
I got the pictures in the hallway hung so that’s finally finished and I fixed one of our cabinet doors that wouldn’t stay closed. DH kept putting it off so I decided to do it myself. After church we went to Costco and got some grocery shopping done then MIL & FIL came over for a couple hours to see B. After that I did laundry and crashed on the couch at 7:30 so none of my Christmas stuff was taken care of.
It feels worthless coming into work today since I have tomorrow off for the elections, but there’s no point in using my vacation when I really need to build it up again. Tomorrow should be a good productive day for me; I know I won’t get all of my Christmas shopping done but if I can reduce it to 3 people left that would be great. I also need to start wrapping the presents so I’m not overwhelmed.
B has been waking up at 3:00am the last couple of nights and he’s up for about an hour before he falls asleep again. DH picked him up the first night and held him until he fell asleep because he kept fussing but last night I was able to just give him his pacifier and shush him for a couple minutes and he’d quiet down for a little while. I’m wondering if feeding him some cereal during the day would put the kibosh on this so I’m going to try to give him some tonight. I was so proud of him this morning, I put him in his activity center and he was reaching the balls and flinging them around the room then he was moving the turn wheel that plays music and lights up. He’s really starting to figure out he can grab things and move them and it’s really fun to watch him do things he wasn’t able to do a week ago. He almost rolled over this weekend, I put him on his stomach and immediately he pushed himself up with one arm and if he would have just leaned back he would have rolled. I know he’s close so I better start baby proofing the house soon.
DH and I didn’t spend much time together this weekend. He worked Saturday and on Sunday he spent most of the day playing video games. I go to bed so early that if he wants to spend time with me later in the evening I’m sleeping or ready to go to sleep. We did have sex on Saturday morning and that was nice & needed, though I had a hard time getting into it at first because I just don’t feel beautiful or sexy. I know it has to do with me being overweight and my self image issues with that, but it’s also because he’s not as physical with me and I feel that I must repulse him. Hell I repulse myself so why not him too? I know that I need to work on my self image and that brings me to still not starting my daily exercise routine. I am going to start tonight, come hell or high water, if I don’t start now I never will. It’s too easy to be lazy.
B is in bed, DH is down stairs on the computer again and I'm all alone. I'm actually not tired right now and would love to snuggle with him or talk or something, but apparently it's more important for him to be on the computer. I haven't gotten a kiss, a hug, a "how was your day", nothing really. He came home and I was talking to my mom so he held B and fed him 4 oz, then we fed him his first bowl of rice cereal and he did really well. I was actually surprised at how much went into his mouth and stayed there. After B ate I put him to bed, ate my dinner and DH put my dishes away (I can only figure it was so he wouldn't feel guilty going downstairs) and then he went downstairs. I feel like the flame isn't there anymore and I hate it. A few days ago he IM'd me an "I love you" out of no where and it was so nice and unexpected, but for the most part it's like this. I know he loves me and cares about me but I feel he just gets so short sighted of my basic needs that they get ignored. Or is he just too stressed out?
I feel like I come in second to the computer and it's a horrible feeling knowing that your DH enjoys the computer more than your company. I've explained these feelings to him not more than a month ago and apparently nothing's going to change. I just don't know what else to say or do. Should I ignore him in return and be busy with my own things in hope that he'll feel left out and then want to spend time with me? Or should I try talking to him again, cry my eyes out and end up in the same spot a month later? I know I'll talk to him it's just finding those words to break the ice and then doing it. I just want to feel like I'm not in second, that I'm more important than a game and that he really wants to spend time with me. I don't want to guilt him into spending time with me because then I know it's not genuine. I've explained this to him also and I feel like it was all for nothing.
I'm probably just emotional right now but some attention isn't too much to ask for at any time of the month. I'll probably wrap some Christmas presents until I decide it's bed time, oh the excitement.
I’ve stopped my moping and I feel much better about everything, must have just been an emotional moment. DH was really stressed out on Monday from having to deal with some customers; I don’t understand why people think they should be able to return things after they’ve broken them. It’s the whole “I’m a victim” mentality of our country and frankly I’m sick of people not taking responsibility for their own actions.
It was nice having yesterday off. B and I headed out of the house at 10:00 to vote then we stopped by Pier 1 and I picked up a few presents and a candle holder for me (marked down to $20 from $60). We then ate lunch with DH and hit the mall to finish our Christmas shopping. I only have 4 people left to shop for (they’re all men need I say more?) and a gift package for Day Care. I’m also hoping to have B dedicated on the 19th so I need to make sure MIL & FIL can make it up, then it’s planning a meal and a cake for afterwards. I would just order a cake but my dad can’t eat wheat or gluten so I’ll have to make one so he can enjoy it too.
I also wrapped the Christmas presents for BIL J’s family and sent them home with him last night along with 2 very late birthday presents. I always make sure I get the kids’ birthday presents to them on time but the adults I slack on a bit.
B ate like a horse yesterday. He ate at 6:00 then was hungry again at 9:30, I fed him at 2:00 and he demanded more at 4:30 so I topped him off with 4 oz before bed at 6:45. He ate a total of 34 oz yesterday and he had a little bit of cereal, most of it landed on his bib or face. He at least didn’t pull his “up at 3:00 am and not wanting to sleep for an hour” last night so I think he just needs more food during the day. I’m going to feed him 4 oz when we get home tonight and then try cereal and finish the bottle after that. I’ll top him off right before bed with a few oz and hopefully this will tide him over until he gets better at eating the cereal. On Friday I’m going to start feeding him cereal twice a day and see how it goes through the weekend. I just don’t have time in the mornings to feed him cereal and a bottle so Day Care will probably have to do a late morning cereal feeding for him.
Well I have a ton to do; finish billing, count inventory, and finish a few little projects here and there, yippee!
I gave B’s day care center a thank you for a little stuffed dog they gave him and they said it was the first thank you they’ve received. I was surprised but not shocked since it seems people have lost the art of thanking others. They at first thought it was our 2 weeks notice and when they opened it they were pleasantly surprised. It’s sad that people don’t spend the little bit of time it takes to let people know you appreciate them and what they do.
B did really well eating cereal last night, toward the end he started opening his mouth bigger for the spoon so we’re getting there. DH and I had to pick up SIL S’s car from the airport so I had dinner ready when he got home so we could get there and back before 7:00. B fell asleep on the drive home but he ate his 8 oz and went to bed fast. The cereal must be doing the trick because he didn’t wake up once last night and I actually got to stay in bed the whole time. It was lovely! He also didn’t wake up until 6:45 so I changed him and fed him a little before waking DH to finish him off so I could go to work. DH is taking the day off, I’m a little disappointed he can’t take tomorrow off with me but he has on-site out of town tomorrow otherwise he would have.
DH’s business partner is coming to town tomorrow so I need to make sure the guest bedroom is cleaned and ready. I’m going to clean the house and then wrap presents or make cookies. I also need to finalize my plans for B’s dedication, I think we will do it on the 19th so I stop putting it off, and I need to figure out what to have for food. I guess it depends on if we have it at the 8:30 or 10:45 Service. We always go to the early Service so I would prefer it then but if we have it later MIL & FIL can make it up from M town if they go there that weekend. So I’ll see what the pastor thinks and we’ll go from there.
Yesterday was a productive day for me. B slept the whole night again and he woke at 6:45 to eat. Since I had some things to do I didn't go back to bed so I was awake to see DH off to work. B and I headed to town and did a bit of shopping then we came home and I cleaned the house. I still have the floors to do but they're nothing since all I need to do is vaccum and swiffer (I did the on the knees scrubbing recently so the swiffer will suffice). B ate the whole bowl of cereal and is really getting the hang of opening his mouth and swallowing. He's hilarious because he'll give me a big smile and talk while he's trying to eat, he's such a ham.
I also rearranged my decorations in the livingroom since we bought a couple new pieces of furniture. I'm happy with everything but the piano though I'm not sure what I don't like about it. DH and I then watched Saving Silverman, it was funny and I stayed awake so that was a plus.
Last night B woke once around 1:00am and went back out after I gave him his pacifier. He woke for food around 6:30 and I put him back down around 7:30 and I slept until 9:00am, it was the first sleeping in I've done in months. My goal today is to clean the floors, do laundry, pay bills, wrap presents, and work on the books for DH's store again. That is plenty to keep me busy and we'll see if I have the time, there's always tomorrow. We also need to recycle this weekend but that will probably be a Sunday chore.
I think DH is going to get me a buffet/cabinet for the dining room for Christmas. I've been wanting something to put my nice dishes in, they're currently in our bedroom closet, and something to display my crystal on. We did some measuring last night and it would fit so we'll see if I get one for Christmas.
The sky's pretty grey today and I'm hoping we get some snow, though it's in the 40's so I doubt it. What happened to having snow from mid-October through May? I'm getting tired of these wimpy winters.
Well I got most of what I wanted done today. I couldn't finish the books because today's back up from the store didn't copy over right so we'll have to get it tomorrow after church. We're also going to recycle after church so I need to load everything into the car because DH isn't doing it even after my subtle hints. All of my Christmas presents are wrapped and piled in our bedroom so they're out of the way for next weekend when we have B's dedication.
C and her son D are coming over tomorrow afternoon to see B so that will be fun. I should be able to have all of my "chores" completed before then so I can relax the rest of the day.
Well I'm calling it a night and hitting the hay, pretty sad that I'm going to bed before 10:00 pm on a Saturday. Just part of the exciting life of a mom though I wouldn't trade it for anything.
B had a nightmare on Saturday night, I don’t know what a 4 month old could have a nightmare about but it was pretty sad. He started crying about 2.5 hours after I put him down so I went in and gave him his pacifier and he settled. About 1 minute later he really started to cry, it was one of distress, and it just kept building. So I went in and nothing I did calmed him so I picked him up and he still was crying and hadn’t woken up yet. It took a little time but he finally woke up and calmed down, I felt so sorry for him. After that he slept the whole night so that was great.
Sunday was a good day. We talked to our pastor and we’re having B dedicated on the 19th during the 10:45 Service. My parents will already be up for the weekend and MIL & FIL will be driving down from M town that morning, they don’t want to miss the big game on Saturday and I don’t blame them. My SIL W and the kids will make it up but my brother has to work. I don’t know if any of DH’s siblings will make it up but either way we’ll have plenty of food, I always over do it. I’ve decided I’m going to make a cross cake for him and it’s going to be interesting to see if I can pull it off, I’m not very good at decorating cakes.
After church we did a little bit of shopping then C and her son D came over to see B. After they left I finished the books for the store and did laundry. D must have worn B out because he fell asleep during his last bottle and didn’t even wake up when I was burping him. He only got about 5 oz down so of course at 3:00 am he woke up and was awake for about an hour. DH settled him the first two cries and I settled him on his last cry. He did spend about 20 min talking, that’s better than crying at least. We’re having day care start to feed him cereal in the mornings and then I’ll feed him some when we get home around 5:00pm. He’s growing so fast, it’s exciting and sad all at once. I just need to remember to stop and enjoy him at this stage while I can because he’ll be out of it before I know it.