B had a rough morning, lots of saying he hurt (poor tummy) and he had a slight fever at 100.3. When I picked him up he was happy as a clam and all night you’d never know he didn’t get any sleep the night before or that he had been feeling poorly. DH was planning to take B to Urgent Care this morning before work to make sure he didn’t have an ear infection but with his behavior we’re pretty sure he doesn’t have one, if I have to take him in this weekend so be it, not like I have anything better going on.
I was busy preparing for our trip this weekend and cleaning up around the house while B watched some movies then we got some cuddle time in before DH got home. We had a normal night and after B was in bed and I had packed our clothes L and I had a giggle fest. She reacted well to my hum, hum, hum chomping to kisses move and there were lots of squeals mixed in with the giggles. She slept great and so did B, nice to get a good night’s sleep. B was up at 5:45 this morning so I got him settled on the couch while I finished getting ready, he was in a happy mood so I hope he has a good day.
I’m leaving work at 2 and meeting DH at home then we’re picking the kids up and heading out. We’re driving to Hamilton to stay with C & B then we’ll be back in Msla so DH can go to the football game and I plan to spend the day checking out a park or two in town and then having lunch and taking a nap. After our nap we may do some swimming but it will depend on how brave I’m feeling to take the two kids by myself. I figure I can always carry L in the sling since the pool we’ll play in is the kiddie pool and B is quite a bit bigger than last time so I’m sure he’ll do really well. It should be a really fun weekend and hopefully all goes well.
A happy thought to end is B telling L over and over “I love you Lily”. It brings tears to my eyes.
Monday 11-17-08 I’m so danged tired, it doesn’t even feel like I have a weekend because I’m just dragging. The drive to Hamilton was interesting, the kids were mostly good and I gave my thanks for the portable DVD player. L was fussy the last hour so we had to drive with the dome light on, she seemed content with the light. B was cute when he’d say to here, “almost there Lily” and “a little longer Lily” he’s such a good brother. He was very happy to see his aunt and he kept calling her Miss Cassie, can you tell he goes to DC? The kids stayed up until about 9:30 and he didn’t fight too hard when it was bed time, I did have to lie down with him until he was sleeping. We stayed up to chat until 12:30 then hit the hay and both kids slept great. L was up at 6:30 so I fed her and then B was up at 7. We were out the door at 9:30 and luckily the hotel was able to check us in at 11. DH helped me haul everything (would have been a nightmare if he wasn’t there) then left. B had a total melt down because his daddy left and once he was calmed down we got ready to leave for the park. B wanted to swim and when I told him not yet we had a major tantrum that went on for awhile. L was then hungry so I fed her and at this point there was no time to go to the park, total bummer. I gave B a lunch of snacks we had brought along then tried to get him to nap, after everything I could think of he still wouldn’t nap. I told him that if he didn’t nap he didn’t get to swim, that did me no good either. DH knew I was having a rough afternoon and he got back from the game as quickly as possible. Once we got in the car to go to J’s house B of course fell asleep immediately, typical! We drove around so he could sleep for an hour then we went to J’s. B was shy at first but once I got him downstairs near the toys he was OK with giving me a break. I then headed upstairs to drink some wine, put away 4 glasses that night. We had a nice time just visiting and B was busy with Miss Kari. We were there until 9:30 then headed out. B gave his kisses and hugs at we were leaving and when he gave Kari her hug and nose kiss he then gazed up at her with this look of pure love on his face, it was so cute. DH and I were totally beat and it took some work getting the kids down. L had fallen asleep in the car seat and DH and I both thought it would be good to put her in pj’s, wrong! She woke up screaming and really fought DH, we had to give her more food to help her calm down. B of course wanted to keep playing and I really struggled getting him to stay put so he could fall asleep. At 11 both of them had finally fallen asleep and so DH and I both collapsed.
Sunday morning B was up at 6:30 and didn’t listen to me saying it was still night time. DH and I both dozed off and on then we were up for the day at 7:30. Once we ate breakfast we went straight to the pool and both kids enjoyed the water. B and I were very busy and he even happily went under the mushroom waterfall with me a few times. L kept busy kicking her legs and she was very sweet in her swimsuit. Once we were done we headed to the room and got ready for the day. We then met up with Ben for a brunch and on the drive to see J & and the family both kids fell asleep so we just did a quick see you in 2 weeks and left town. They slept for about 2 hours and it made the drive at least go pretty smooth. I think everyone was happy to be home. B played outside for awhile and I raked a little bit plus trimmed some of the trees/shrubs, they really didn’t need much. The 2 trees that do need the help are being chopped down in the spring so why bother. We put the kids down a little earlier than usual and there was no fight at all, plus not a peep out of either one until it was time to get up. I did exercise a little bit and man I need to really work hard this week, I feel really big and did have a gain this morning. Tuesday 11-18-08 With the change over I’m unable to log in to PO and it’s really a drag with my POBLC. I hope they can get everything fixed soon and that nothing major happens on my board while I’m locked out, I’m really having withdrawals here. DH had his stitches removed yesterday so he went home early and picked the kids up. They were out playing with all of the neighbor kids so we chatted with the parents. Once it got dark enough we went in and I put the meatloaf in the oven and we had a pretty normal night. L was fussy because she was over tired and B was sweet as can be. At one point while we were outside he was petting the cat at the end of the street and said, “Bye bye kitty, I love you.” He’s really into saying he loves people and things, I’m enjoying this a lot. After dinner was cleaned up B watched some Lazy Town while I ran to the grocery store. When I got back B was in zone mode and was exhausted. I got him ready for bed and he immediately gave DH and L hugs and nose kisses when I told him to. We then read some stories and went to bed, he got up a couple times but eventually was down for the night. He informed me this morning that he slept through the night. I also asked him if he would like L to start sleeping in his room and he said yes, I think we’re going to just do the move one of these weekends.
B has been doing some really cute things that I want to write down. He has been putting bear into TO for hitting or throwing food (our 2 biggies) and then he will talk with bear about what he did and that he shouldn’t do that. It’s pretty darned cute and lets me know he at least gets what it is we do. We’ve also started to have him explain why he’s not supposed to do things and with throwing food he states “mom cleans floor works hard”. When we were driving back from Missoula Sunday he was reading his books and Brown Bear was a big one. I heard him in the back saying “green frog, green frog what see, ribbit ribbit”. He got lots of praises for reading so well. L is adorable when she get excited and laughs, she gets this high pitched squeal that is to die for, I think we got it on video.
Wednesday 11-19-08 I can get back on, yeah! Yesterday seemed to be filled with annoyances, lots of cussing from my mouth and I need to work on that. I picked the kids up and B was a very happy boy, he even behaved extremely well at the grocery store so I praised him for that. DH got home right before we did so B and I played outside until 6 and then we went in to make dinner. All of the Christmas presents I ordered arrived too so I had to do some hiding from DH. B would not eat dinner so he sat at the table until it was time to get ready for bed, what a frustration and waste of all of our evenings. While he was sitting I wrapped DH’s presents and I’ll wrap FIL’s tonight. We need to get B’s drum set out to make sure nothing’s damaged, I’ll probably even talk DH into putting it together so it’ll be ready for display on Christmas. I’m still battling this cold and my sinus pressure was a nightmare last night, I opted for skipping exercising and going to bed early. Unfortunately I didn’t sleep too well so that was a bummer. I do feel a little more rested today.
DH has the day off and is going to pick up our pictures including the stuff we have been waiting on from the 6 week pictures, about time! This means I need to get out the Christmas cards so I can work on them.
Our pictures look really good, L is adorable in them. I have them all separated and will get them to family this week and the ones to friends will go out with Christmas cards. We’re still waiting on picture frames so that’s annoying. I was out early for L’s 4 month check up and she is doing great. She’s also 16 lbs 2 oz putting her in the 90th percentile on weight and at 24 inches long she’s in the 50th percentile for length. After the appointment we went to Target to get a few necessities and I picked up presents for Christmas and some birthdays. The only thing we now have left is a couple little stocking stuffers for the kids (candy and stuff) and a ss for the kids to get when they wake up in the hotel room. I want them to have something right away and then to also have something at C & W’s house when we arrive in the morning. B was asking for a helmet last night when we were playing football so I told him he should ask Santa for one. After Target we hit Costco and once we were home B and I shoveled the sidewalks, he was actually fairly helpful and wanted to shovel before I even mentioned it. I did finish wrapping the Christmas presents and checked B’s drum set for damage. I went to bed pretty early and DH was sweet and cleaned the kitchen for me and did dishes.
I was able to get B to sleep in on Saturday but L was up at 7 ready to eat, we had about 30 min then B was up and ready for the day. Our morning went fast and as soon as I was ready we were out the door for our playgroup. We had a great time at the playgroup and it was great catching up with the moms, I hadn’t seen H in a long while. I want to have K and H over for a dinner some weekend, we all get along really well and the boys play together well so it should be fun. After the play group we went home and B took a nap while I started cleaning the house, I was only able to get everything dusted before he was up. That night B helped me clean the bathroom which was pretty interesting, I would not let him help me with the toilet though. I also did 2 loads of laundry and then DH and I had a couch date and watched Don’t Mess With the Zohan. I was beat by the time the movie was over so it was in bed for me. B had a rough night of sleep, it will be nice once his molars are finished. At one point he just started screaming and both DH and I were out of bed, I even ran to the door it was so bad. Needless to say L isn’t moving into his room until his sleep gets back to normal.
B slept until 7 on Sunday so we had a lazy morning of cuddling. Once DH was up I started my chores for the day, more laundry, cleaning the floors, and working on Christmas cards. I have about 10 cards left to write in and once the pictures are printed I just have to put them in the card and I’m done. DH and B played outside for a bit to give me a break, it was needed since my patience was getting thin. The IL’s stopped by on their way back from Msla and we chatted for a bit and I sent them off with presents and pictures. B then went down for a nap and L went down for one while they were still visiting. I took advantage of the sleeping kids and ran to the grocery store then DH ran to his store once I was back. L and I folded laundry and caught up on Desperate Housewives then it was a pretty standard evening, dinner and playing.
We’ve been cutting a lot of the milk from B’s diet, he can have it but just not right before dinner. It’s helping him to not only eat faster at the table (no more 45 min meals) but he’s also eating more. I think I’m also going to move him to 2% milk, once his whole milk is used up of course. He was doing an excellent job of throwing the football to me last night, we’re still trying to figure out how to catch but he’s doing better. We did have some jealousy issues yesterday with L. I was giving her blocks that are meant for babies and B stated it was his and took it. I cuddled him and explained that he gets bored with that block because he’s outgrown it but because it’s made for babies L really likes it and thinks it’s neat. I asked him if he’d be nice and share his old toys with L, he then did and hopefully after a few reminders of this he’ll get it. Overall nothing I can’t handle or didn’t expect. I also forgot to mention that he peddled a bike for us. K was over playing last week and her big bike with training wheels wasn’t being used. I had B ask her if he could ride it and she said yes so he sat on it and DH drove him around. He then put his feet on the pedals (couldn’t quite reach the whole way around) and started pedaling the bike and did pretty darned good. About time we see it since we were hoping he’d be pedaling at the end of the summer.
I have to comment on this because it really fries my arse. These bailouts the government is giving has me just livid. I’m pissed about the original bank bailout, I’m sorry I just don’t understand why the hell our tax dollars and children should have to pay for their piss poor decisions that they knew were risky and shouldn’t have been made. Now we’re bailing out Citigroup, whom I can personally say deserves to take a dive when they make comments to me that “there is such a thing as paying too early” when they received 2 payments from us within 30 days and assumed the second payment was only for principal so they didn’t apply it to our payment and then tried to hit me with late fees. These are companies with bass-akwards policies and their main drive was putting more money into their CEO’s pockets, why are we supporting their greed? I’m so angry with both the Democrats and the Republicans, from what I see both parties have sold out the people in this country and it all comes down to them supporting the lobbyists and corporate greed that has padded their pockets. God help this country, though I don’t know if we deserve a bailout from Him.
It’s been a busy two days and I sure hope I can get some relaxation in this vacation. I had a meeting go 30 min into lunch yesterday so I left 30 min early, it was helpful since I was done with Costco and had the kids picked up by their normal time. B played outside for a little bit (baseball was our choice for the evening) then we went inside and he helped me clean up the fruit for the salad. This means he actually just ate the fruit. I whipped dinner together and once DH was home and I had eaten I packed more things, did a load of laundry, got the devilled eggs prepped, and made the fruit salad. I was stressing about everything so it was nice to have DH be patient and helpful. Once the kids were in bed DH surprised me with some extra attention and then I got in 30 min on the STEP. The last few times I’ve done my 30 min workout I’ve been thinking that I could maybe go to the max step height so I tried it last night and it whooped my butt. I was huffin and puffin after the warm up but I did see a 1.4 lb loss this morning so that’s good motivation. I think part of me not losing is from my body being use to the intensity of the workouts and I’ve been doing the 30 min workout a lot more than I would like. Hopefully next week I can get back to the timesaver routine because that still kicks my butt with no extensions on the step. The great thing about this loss is that it will hopefully help me focus on my goals through this weekend and stay on track. I plan to avoid alcohol (not easy when it’s shoved in my face and practically peer pressured on me when I’m with the IL’s) and stay away from the snacks that are always lying around. I’m bringing my sweet & spicy tea for help along with my water bottle.
I’m taking a 30 min lunch today so I can be out of here at 4, I’m then driving straight home so I can finish packing up the car and do another run through the house to make sure we have everything. DH is closing at 4 and will pick the kids up then meet me at home. Our plan is to stop at the hotel to get checked in and everything set up then we’ll go to the cabin. I have no idea what is going on tomorrow but I’ve prepared to feed B during the long wait to eat (which is always inevitable) and I’m prepared to put the eggs together at the hotel if needed. We plan to leave on Friday around 11 and it will be nice to have a little bit of time at home. I would like for us to buy the Christmas tree on Friday and start some of the decorating around the house and I may even try to get the fudge made. We’ll leave early Saturday and meet up with my parents then we’re having lunch with SIL & the kids. After that we’ll go to the hotel and hang out for a bit before nap time, then we’re off to B & A’s and the guys will take off for the NIN concert. It should be a fun few days all in all.
4 days just flew bye really fast, and I didn’t get enough sleep surprise, surprise! Our room at the Grand was really nice, we even had a fridge which helped me tremendously. After we got settled we went to the cabin and visited with the family, I started cleaning up from dinner and with the “you don’t need to do this” it was evident no one else was going to so yes I really did need to do it. We left around 9:30 and had the normal struggle to get B down (I hate staying away from home for this reason). I didn’t sleep well, heard the train twice and B was up 3 times before his 6 am wake up. After we were dressed we had the continental breakfast which I hardly ate, the ham wasn’t very appetizing and the eggs were really runny, barf! We then went to the cabin and I did try ½ a piece of the cinnamon bread brain I brought up, it was yummy and happily out of my way since everyone else liked it too. B had a quick lunch at the cabin then we went back to get naps in, he actually fell asleep somewhat fast and got a good 2 hours in. I prepped the devilled eggs while he napped and then we headed to Janet’s MIL’s house for dinner. The house has this cute little attic room that is filled with toys and kid sized furniture, B was in heaven and K was a sweetie and entertained him the whole time. We didn’t eat until 6:30 and B was hungry before then, which he made evident as he sat at a place setting and said “Brodie eat here”. He finished off all of the tomatoes in the veggie platter too and once it was time to eat I snuck in a few bites of the real meal. We had deep fried turkey and it was good, I just had a small piece since I prefer the salads. I did a great job on controlling my snacking before the meal and I avoided alcohol and dessert, yeah for me! Once we were done eating I started doing dishes, Craig, Cass, and Katie helped also and it went super fast with them drying and loading what they could into the dishwasher. We then just sat around and chatted some more, L was sweet as a button and did a lot of napping. Janet is doing really well, she has a great attitude on recovery and her speech is great. I hope she can gain back her independence, I think her determination is going to help a lot. Around 9 I started rounding up all our stuff and told B to go around and give hugs and kisses, which he did very well. He went up to Rob (I don’t know what R has against us but it’s like he thinks he’s too good for us, snubbed me at my own wedding reception even, I guess he at least showed his true colors early) and gave him a hug and R just patted his head in this horribly rude fashion. He can dislike me without even giving me a chance but to treat my 2 year old like that, screw him. From here on out I will lead B away from him so he doesn’t get a hug, the A-hole! We left and Karen came with since she was tired and Cass & Brent wanted to stay back and play poker, it worked great because then DH could stay back for the poker too. B didn’t fall asleep until 10:30 and then I was out cold. Brent won at poker and the game went until 3, so once B was up at 6 DH had a whole 3 hours under his belt. He said he’s not playing poker next year but we’ll see. I guess most everyone was loaded, well at least the typical ones. DH had a total of ½ a beer, when MIL said he paced himself I said yeah to a whole ½ beer for the night. The concept of not drinking a lot is sometimes lost with that family.
After we were ready to go on Friday we checked out of the hotel and went to the cabin for some breakfast, we were on the road around 10:30 and B fell asleep right away, at least we got an hour nap in. Once we were home I got B some lunch and DH ran out to do some work he wasn’t able to finish up on Wednesday, turned out they weren’t around so he was able to come right back home. We then went to get a Christmas tree (also known as Chemistry by B’s interpretation) and B had a great time looking at the trees. There were lots of wow’s especially when he saw a very big and bushy 8 foot tree, we went for a bit smaller 7 footer though. We also decided to get a bigger tree stand since our old one has been pushing it that last couple of years. Not only did we find a great one that was made in the USA but it also holds 4 watering cans worth of water, woot! Once we were home we got the tree set up and I brought all of our Christmas boxes upstairs. DH needed a nap so he fell asleep around 4 and I had a busy evening. I had both kids, was doing laundry, trying to repack for the weekend, made dinner, and did some clean up. I didn’t really eat dinner since I wasn’t hungry after it was made and I really didn’t have time, I did sneak a Luna bar in while I was packing up the car. DH woke around 7 because he heard the kids while I was giving them a bath. I was exhausted so I was in bed as early as possible and since B is now in the habit (from being sick, then having molars, and now being away from home) of waking up multiple times during the night my sleep wasn’t very good. It was really hard getting up at 5:20 but I did it. We were out the door at 7:45 so we got to the play area at the mall right on time to meet my parents. B and my mom played hard and W and the kids showed up in time to play a bit too before we ate. Our food was OK, things seemed really salty to me and it just wasn’t as good as I thought it should be. I think this is more from me than it is the food, since we really don’t seem to eat out as often when we do I’m just not really blown away, maybe my tastes are changing or this processed food just isn’t tasting like it use to, not sure but it’s not a bad thing. After lunch I gave W all of their Christmas and birthday presents (filled their car up nicely too) then we headed to the hotel room where my mom and B played for a bit before they headed out. We had another nap struggle and I was so frustrated, it just doesn’t help that I’m exhausted. DH ended up getting him to fall asleep and he napped for 2 hours then we headed to B & A’s. We both thought we were eating dinner over there and we didn’t so the tummies were a bit hungry, I was mostly worried about B but I pumped the whole milk into him and he didn’t seem to mind. Calla is such a long girl and she is a major kicker, next to our short and chubby Lily they are quite the opposites but both are cute as can be. We did get lots of pictures though B wouldn’t have a thing to do with that. After the guys left for the concert B and I chatted for awhile and then we left at 9. Once at the hotel I gave B some of our snacks (all healthy too) and then we read some books and tried to settle for the night. He kept moving but he stayed on the air mattress and eventually he fell asleep snuggled in my arms. I then crawled into our bed and heard DH around 12:30, I guess he was back at 11:30 but went to Denny’s to get a bite to eat. B was up for the day at 6:20 so after L was fed we had our breakfast then went swimming. L enjoyed the warm baby pool and B went between the two pools, it was a hard transition to the cold big pool. B at least was OK with going deeper and he did really well, even jumped in a few times. We then showered and got ready for the road and both kids slept the whole 2 hour drive, yeah!
We did have a few cruddy things from the week. The first was my mom hitting a deer on the way home Saturday night, of course my dad was mad but really there’s not much you can do about those things. The good news is that the Blazer isn’t as bad as they initially thought. Our icky part was when DH was at the concert he got pulled into the crowd a bit further than he wanted and got an elbow to the face, which knocked his glasses off. He found them after the concert and they are still wearable but the lenses are all scratched up. So this led to us stopping at Costco on our way home so he could get some new glasses, luckily his prescription is still good through tomorrow. They said it’ll be a 2 week wait but hopefully they will be here by the end of the week.
Once we were home and everything was packed into the house I started on laundry again and DH helped me do some clean up around the house. B and I then made a gingerbread house and other than the battle of keeping him from eating everything it went really well and is kind of cute. We then of course ate some it. DH put the lights on the tree and put the tinsel up, B was really cute putting his own strand of tinsel up, he’d climb on the step ladder and feed the tinsel over the ladders bar onto the floor and then get down to do it all over again. I got the decorations put up around the house so all we have left is decorating the tree, which we plan to do on Wednesday since DH has the day off and we’ll have some extra time in the evening. I bought some LED snowflakes from Costco that are cordless and suction to the windows, B loves them. He was busy lining them up and saying what colors they were (they change colors) it was pretty cute. He was apparently feeling like he wasn’t getting enough attention from me because he kept acting up, I did my best to take breaks for him but I was also so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open. We ended up ordering pizza and it didn’t really taste too good, I think it’s again my palate changing and not necessarily the food. I was in bed shortly after 8:30 and B woke once, I let him cry for about 5 min then went in to check on him. He was just crying and I tucked him in saying he needed to sleep, right after I hit the pillow he started up again so I just turned the monitor off. After a little bit of time he was then crying at his door and I had DH go in there, he wanted his noculars (binoculars) and DH told him in the morning because now it’s time to sleep. I didn’t hear him the rest of the night and I sort of feel more rested today, I’m still tired and spacey though. Hopefully we can have him back on track with sleep soon.
My dad and I were talking during lunch on Saturday about Norma (DH’s aunt) being gluten and wheat sensitive, this doesn’t bode well for our kids. And W was asking about symptoms so we were going over them with her, DH told me later on that he’s wondering if gluten is what wreaks havoc with him. During the week his BM’s are very runny but they aren’t so much on the weekends, he always thought it was stress but is now wondering if it’s gluten. We talked about it and after the holidays we’re going to try a WF/GF diet for a month and see how he does. This means I need to get bread, croutons, and hamburger & hotdog buns made. I think I may start experimenting now so I can get a good do on them before the holidays are over. Maybe this is why I’ve been somewhat OCD about WF/GF for quite some time now, I know there’s a chance I’ll be celiac but I didn’t think it would ever happen to DH, not that it necessarily has. Again it’s just a good way to keep our diets healthier and hopefully get us to lose weight. So come January we’ll have cut out wheat, barley, rye, gluten, high fructose corn syrup, and MSG. Wows!
Now for my really good news. I worked really hard this week at watching what I ate and being smart about my decisions and it paid off. I’m down to 168.6, dropping 3.2 pounds and officially putting me at my pre-pregnancy weight with B. I’m so amazed especially since I got in nothing for exercise since Tuesday. Now all I need is another 4 pounds and I’ll have met my goal for this POBLC. Woot!
My motivation level today is really low, bah! I had a chiro appointment so I got out a little early yesterday, not early enough to get all that I wanted done though. I got gas then went to the grocery store where I started to buy/browse things to use for our WF/GF diet in January. I did find some new things including sorghum beer, it’s not bad just tastes like a better version of Budweiser. I will still search for better beer. It took forever to get out of the grocery store so I picked the kids up a little late. I hate that it’s so dark when we get home, the plus side is that we get to see all of the great Christmas decorations on the drive home. DH was home when we got there so he helped me load things into the house and B immediately wanted to watch Lazy Town. I put things away and started dinner, it was nice to also get laundry relatively put away, I still need to hang the kids clothes up. B dawdled at dinner but once he finally took his last bite we played skating as I chased him around the house. L was exhausted and went to bed early and B was ready for bed early too so I was able to exercise earlier than normal. I am going to up my step height since I could be working harder and it will only help me burn more calories and lose more weight. I can see the changes in my body and I’m happy but want more, there’s no stopping this time. I need to get healthy and I need to be a good example for my kids. After exercising I should have gone straight to bed but instead I snuggled with DH for a bit and then went to bed, that time is more important than sleep. A couple days ago I tried making a loaf of bread in my bread machine (finally busted it out again) and it did not turn out at all. I think the blades weren’t working properly. So last night I tried again and it was a success. It wasn’t done until 11:30 and when DH woke me up tossing around in bed at 1:00 I figured I’d get it out of the machine so it wouldn’t get soggy. I could tell is was a beaut in the dark and it smelled so divine, I kept waking up the rest of the night to that heavenly smell. B also woke once shortly after DH and I had been up, it’s an improvement. Back to the bread machine, now that I have had a successful loaf of normal bread I am going to try my hand at some gluten free bread. I’ll first try their recipe and then see what I can do to get some other recipes to work in there. I would be ecstatic if I could find a delicious recipe.
We had a nice morning, B was up early and ready for breakfast when I was eating my cereal, it worked out nicely for DH since he had to be at an onsight at 8. I am so thankful for my family, they really do light up my life. B had some cute comments last week. At one point when we were getting gas and leaving the gas station B said, “bye bye daddy’s gas”. DH replied with, “unfortunately my gas is coming with us”. We also heard a lot of “I love you train, bye bye”. If only everyone loved people and things as much as a two year old, we’d have a heck of a better world that’s for sure. L is going really well with grasping things and she’s getting better at bringing them to her mouth. She gets really frustrated though when it doesn’t come to her like it should. She thinks it’s hilarious when DH signs sleep, she giggles up a storm when he signs and says it to her.
I’m continuing my OCD with WF/GF, spreadsheets and lists are surrounding me. I’m just trying to make this as cost effective as possible so really it’s a good thing, it just shows how weird I really am.
I had a somewhat crappy evening and unfortunately it’s followed me to this morning, I’m just feeling blah. We got about 2 inches of snow by the time I left work so it was slow going and took an extra 15 min to get to DC. The passing lane was terrible so I got stuck going 25 on the Interstate, I know the roads were bad but we can at least safely got 35-40. Oh well, patience is always good practice. L fell asleep on the way home, like usual, so B played outside while I shoveled snow. The wind was pretty cold and once B fell the tears would not stop so I had to take him inside and do some major cuddling. I then started dinner and got B to the table when DH called at 6:40 saying the last customer just left (Why is it that people think it’s OK to hang out after closing? Don’t they stop to consider the people they’re keeping have been at work all freaking day and have families?) and he still had some things to finish up so he’d be out the door in about 45 min. Great, there goes any help with the kids. I used B’s eating time to get things cleaned up and started feeding L. It was of course bath night so I then got B in the tub and cleaned and let him play while I got L ready for bed and tried to keep feeding her (she was fighting me for some reason). Once B was in his pj’s I then rounded the two into the bedroom to read stories before bed, this is when DH finally got home. For some reason I felt it was time to have L start sleeping in the crib so we put her down and then I put B down, I had to tell him to leave her alone and stay off her crib, I think he listened. He struggled with falling asleep but things went pretty smooth considering.
Once they were in bed I started making sandwiches for today and DH asked if I was mad at him, I told him no, I’m tired and have a headache, he could obviously tell I wasn’t in the best of moods. I then decided to exercise so I went to close the shades and one of the strings to the shades was stuck in the hook and then the damned hook broke and I was pissed. DH then decided it was a great time to tell me that I need to stop throwing things when I’m mad in a very fatherly voice that I really did not need at that time. I know my flaws and what I need to work on and my anger is definitely at the top, it’s not so much that he brought it up its his piss poor timing and the tone of voice he took with me. I feel like he’s judging me and acting like he’s Mr. Perfect, it really ticks me off. I bit my tongue for a bit and replied with, because you never throw and break things (like when he threw B’s truck and broke the tire off of it over a football game). I don’t think he liked that and at this point I couldn’t focus on my exercise so I just decided to call it a night and go to bed. He apologized to me while I was getting ready and I told him that I’m fine with him bringing up my flaws but to use some better timing, I don’t know if he gets it. I know he hates that I get as “animated” as I do when I’m mad about something but he doesn’t listen when I tell him that all I want is some validation and when I don’t get it I keep getting more and more worked up. His silence doesn’t help me. He also doesn’t get that my exhaustion (because heaven forbid I ever get to sleep in) makes my fuse a lot shorter, I just can’t handle things as easily.
Moving on, B woke a couple times last night, DH went in once I think. The other times he just fussed for a bit and then was down on his own. Luckily it didn’t wake L. I heard him yelling for me after my shower and sure enough that woke L so at 5:30 both of them were awake and I wasn’t even close to being ready. I tried to explain (not as nicely as I should have) to B that he can’t yell like that because it wakes L up. I did my best to appease L and finished getting ready, at one point both of them were crying for me and I waking in my funk was not in the mood. DH ended up getting up quite early on his day off and took L to feed her while I took care of B and got my breakfast in. I left a little early since I knew it would be slow going on the roads this morning, hopefully they will be a bit better on the drive home.
We are planning on decorating the tree tonight, hopefully I will be in the mood. I’m not sure if DH will get the lights on the house since its slick and cold outside, we’ll see. I’m also leaving dinner up to him, he’s the one home today he can plan it out. He does have to take L in to the county health department for her 4 month shots, I’ve explained to him where to go about 3 times, hopefully he’ll remember.
One positive note, I have officially left the BMI's obese rating and now am in the over weight rating, it's progress and makes me feel a bit better. To get to the normal rating I need to weigh 140 or less, so 28 pounds to go.
Last edited by lifeisgood; 12-03-2008 at 12:07 PM.
Work is super slow right now, slower than it has ever been. That means I’m doing things that have been put on the back burner for months so that’s at least good. Today my goal is to get our warranty info sent out, one thing I shouldn’t have been slacking on. I had a much better night and got out of my funk by noon. I know I need to control my reactions and temper so it’s something I’m going to try to become more aware of and stop in any way I can.
L did great with her shots, cried initially and then was fine. DH got the Christmas lights up so that’s done, good timing too since it seems like winter is finally here. After we got home and settled a little bit we started decorating the tree. B was much less excited than I expected, oh well. He had fun playing with some of the ornaments and DH and I took care of the tree. It was a pretty easy night and B and L did great sharing the room again. B woke once, well at least cried out once I don’t think he woke up, and slept until 6 so timing was perfect. I did have to sneak him out before he work L with his yells of “mommay!” I tried to explain to him that he can’t yell like that because it will wake L up, hopefully he’ll understand it soon and remember that she’s actually in there. We had a good morning and I got in quite a bit of cuddle time with both kids. I’m struggling with feelings of not giving L enough attention. B is such a mama’s boy that he requires a lot of my attention, I’m fine with this but worry that L isn’t getting what she deserves/needs. It’s hard balancing the two kids and trying to be “perfect” with this, I just need to work at it every day I guess. Part of me feels like she prefers DH, which is completely fine, but then I feel nervous when she fusses like I won’t be able to meet her needs. It’s really weird and nothing I experienced with B.
I have some things I need to do around the house tonight, hopefully by the time I go to bed tomorrow night I can have the house cleaned and mostly organized. We have a playgroup on Saturday at the CM and I have some shopping that needs to be done but other than that not much to do. We may try to see Santa this weekend, I’ll have to see if DH is up to it.
I’ve been thinking about what led me to be overweight, other than laziness in the most recent years. I do believe my body shape is not one of skinny, that’s OK I can still be healthy and slender even with my body shape. When I was little and what I would consider pre-weight issues, I was never a skinny kid. Healthy, active, and normal yes but not skinny. Growing up I heard comments from kids at school to my parents about me being fat (well that’s how I interpreted it since with my parents it was talk I overheard about me needing to lose weight/go on a diet). I think that really sabotaged me because it made me believe I was fat even though I necessarily wasn’t. Like a brainwashing of some sort, if people tell you something enough you believe it whether or not it’s true. That saddens me and I refuse to put my children through that so I hope to teach them (by example) healthy food choices and an active life style. Another thing I think worked against me was my parents own struggle with weight. My mom battled her weight up until the past 10 years and my dad battled bulimia up until a few years ago. I never realized he fit under the bulimic category until the past few years, it’s amazing how we fool ourselves. His struggles meant the sweets in the house would go fast so if you wanted some you had to eat them fast and as much as you could (not a healthy pattern or way to program sweets into your brain). I’m thankful that I never followed suit, my own battle could be worse. Part of me is looking forward to the WF/GF diet, I feel it’s a way to continue my healthy food choices and get me to become more aware of what I really am eating. Back to the basics I guess. I feel like part of me has been waiting for/expecting this diet change, is it because I assumed I would need it down the road or do I “know” something I don’t know? I’m sure I’m overanalyzing.
I’m so happy it’s Friday, this week has felt like it’s gone slow but at the same time I can’t believe it’s Friday. All I know is I need to get caught up on sleep this weekend. We had a pretty normal evening, B played outside for a bit while I swept snow off the sidewalks, it was 14 when I got home and got down to 4 when I went to bed so it was a bit chilly. Once we were both plenty cold we went inside and I started dinner (blueberry waffles & homemade maple syrup) and cleaned up the kitchen a bit before getting some snuggle time in with B. DH got home and L woke up at the same time so we ate dinner then DH gave the kids baths. I used this time to do more tidying up, put laundry away, water the plants, and put a clean table cloth on the table. I then chased B around the house for a bit and we settled down for stories, it’s really nice now having both kids on my lap while I read bedtime stories to them, it’s a little piece of heaven. Once they were in bed I got some STEP in, cleaned up sippy cup spots from the carpet, and then lazed on the couch much later than I should have, I’m a bit tired from that today. B didn’t wake at all for me but I guess he did wake earlier for DH, he was yelling no over and over and I think this is dream induced, not sure how to stop that.
Both kids were up by 6, I heard B in there telling L “its okay Lily” and he kept hollering something at me about her. We had a good morning and he helped me butter his toast, he then took a big bite of butter and that grossed me out but he seemed to enjoy it. Tonight I want to do a quick clean, stop at the grocery store on the way home, and make fudge. I have a huge list of things to do this weekend, we’ll see how far I get.
This is something I've been meaning to write about and just kept forgetting. When I'm pregnant I really struggle with having the big O, it doesn't happen until I'm further along and I think it's just positioning issues. With B I was able to get right back into the swing of things but with L it's been a struggle. I just couldn't O when we were DTD, I could get close but no happy ending. Poor DH was trying his best and I reassured him it was completely me. I was worried that I would never get the ability back and I would be forever doomed to never have an O again, well by DTD that is. I know it's very over reacting but that's something I would truly have to mourn if I lost it. Happy news for me, the last 2 times we've DTD I was able to O both times, not as quickly as normal (i'm a one minute wonder usually) but it happened and it was wonderful. I think I avoided writing it down for fear that it would make it permanent, how silly.
Last edited by lifeisgood; 12-05-2008 at 01:20 PM.
I had a nice evening, we stopped at the grocery store on the way home and B was a perfect angel. He decided he didn't want to ride in the car cart so he pushed with me, and he stuck by my side which was wonderful. I don't know what it is but whenever I really need help out to the car with my groceries they never help me, they let me go on my own, it just drives me nuts. Needless to say I wasn't going to leave the kids in the car alone so the cart was not returned into the store.
DH was late getting home again, another customer there 40 min past close. He also came home with a ton of projects so that was his night. After dinner B, L and I ran around the house running from dinosaurs. L was giggling up a storm at B, and I think this is the first times he's really noticed her laughing. Once the kids were in bed I did a quick clean in the house and then made blueberry muffins to use up the fresh blueberries we had. I then had some tea and watched the recorded I Survived and then went to bed, much later than I should have. B slept well, I didn't hear him until 5:30 when he first woke. I got him back in bed and told him it was still night time and I didn't hear him again for an hour. At that point I heard him talking to L and she was chatting a bit too. I then heard her mobile playing music and B saying something with "Lily's bed" in it. I of course found him in the crib with her. Both were happy and we got settled to get a bottle and cuddle on the couch. When Lazy Town was on L was having her first nap and I snuck in a shower. I was completely ready for the day before DH was even up, but he didn't get to bed until 3:30 so he had a reason. I had B wake DH up at 9 and I made fudge. DH was out the door for work around 10 and we fed L then headed outside to play. I used that time to also trim the lilac bush, I'm sure I'll have more to do some spring but for now it's a start. It is warm out and really wet. We've had lunch and B is playing some games on Noggin before I have him take his nap. I think during nap I'm going to go through my closet to get my maternity clothes packed downstairs and to pack up my fat clothes that I need to get out of my life, yeah for being able to do that.
So far no one has RSVP'd yes for the playgroup so I think I'm going to just stay home. I do need to go to Target for a little bit of shopping and we may do that after nap time. That way all we have to do once we're in town tomorrow is stop at the Co-op and see Santa. Well I better get back to laundry and start moving B toward the bedroom.
Last edited by lifeisgood; 12-08-2008 at 10:59 AM.