We had a rough start to our weekend. The kids feed off each other with bad behavior and neither one would listen to me or do what they were supposed to do. It resulted in me yelling at them and making them sit in the corner until dinner time. My sensitive boy cried a lot and L could give a crap, it was exhausting. I was able to get everything but part of the floors cleaned and went to bed at a decent hour. Saturday E was out the door before we got up and the kids sorta slept in a bit. I made breakfast then DH headed to help at the store for a bit before going to work. I finished the floors and put snow pants on the kids so they could play outside for a bit. Our 3 inches of snow made it look like it was December outside. I was on backup to whip together a cake since I checked in with N and her cakes were collapsing. I figured I’d see if she needed anything since she was alone trying to get the party stuff ready and I’m glad I did. Once I heard she didn’t need me to make a cake I made peanut butter and snicker doodle cookies then gave the kids lunch and tried to get them to nap. B fell asleep for me but L would not stay in her bed so she didn’t get a nap. I was not looking forward to her crabbiness at the party. We headed to N’s a little early to help with the final touches and L wanted me to hold her then fell asleep in my arms. It had been ages since she’d done that. I put her in R’s bed where she got 45 min of sleep and woke up much happier. The kids had a great time playing and I think I was the main entertainment. No one really wanted to talk so I stepped in, shocking I know. DH did swing by for a short time and then took some dinner to the guys to work a bit more. We headed home around 9 and then it was a battle getting the kids to pick up their room and head to bed. Oh and I tried to work with L on potty training. We put her panties on and she did great until she sat on B’s bed (top bunk) and peed. I had the joy of making his bed, it was nice. Sunday we were up earlier than we should have been and I whipped together sausage and pancakes before the guys left for the store. It was the last day of painting so all DH has left is carpet and some electrical work. The kids and I ran to town to look at the store then we went to Target and Olivelle then home. They both napped for me after lunch and DH came home right before it was wake up time and time to play with K & R. They came over and played until dinner time then we had a normal evening. I was planning to exercise but I had some pain in what felt like my ovary or uterus. So DH and I cuddled since we hadn’t had time to just us for a week and it of course led to more. This is when the pain I had experienced came into play a bit more and DTD was painful. Not cool.
Monday we were back to life and when I moved wonky I could feel the same little pain. I did try to go for a run and my ribs were hurting so bad I had to walk home, I couldn’t even fast walk because that was too much. I tried to exercise again on Tuesday with the same pain showing up so I then worried it was my liver and decided to do a liver cleanse diet. So the past two days I’ve had no caffeine, alcohol, sugar (other than fruit), meat, dairy, nor carbs. I haven’t been hungry so that’s a plus but it’s at least keeping me low calorie and away from processed foods. Wednesday morning I woke to quite a bit of blood and it was coming fast. I started to worry a bit and when I mentioned it to DH he suggested what I thought, call the doctor. I talked to a nurse and she thinks it was probably a cyst and to just watch it but she also suggested I take a pregnancy test, which I did this morning and got the negative result I knew I would get. There has been a bit of bleeding this morning and still an ache here and there so hopefully it will pass. I got over 8 hours of sleep last night and I’m yawning like mad and exhausted. This no coffee is killing me, all I want to do is take a nap. Tonight I plan to clean the house and I’ll exercise if I can, we’ll see how things go. Right now bed is all I can think of. I’m making the fam spaghetti for dinner but since it doesn’t quite meet my diet plans I’ll whip together a veggie filled potato dish, yum. If nothing else I hope this cleanse will get me to drop some weight (so far nothing yet) and kick my sugar/carb addiction. Here's hoping!
We had a great weekend. Friday we didn’t play outside once we were home, which worked fine for me. The kids played while I made dinner and once DH was home I headed to L’s LS party. I recognized a lot of the ladies from DC (other moms) but didn’t really know most of them so I did have a glass of wine to help loosen me up a bit. I had fun and got a peek into T’s family life, he’s an aggressive kid and not one I want B around just from what B tells me. After being around T’s mom it solidified that I don’t want B around him more than necessary. She was very nice but her views on what’s appropriate and what isn’t do not mesh with me. She shared a story about how T wanted to show his little sister his magic trick, this trick is him getting himself hard. Awesome. I know boys have obsessions with their penis but this had me with my mouth dropped open. I would never share that story with a bunch of people I don’t really know. Anyways, I headed home after the party and cleaned the floors before heading to bed.
Saturday we were up at 7, I told L I was not getting out of bed before 7 so she went back to bed at 6:15 and I assume woke B up. We didn’t waste time getting ready and I whipped together a picnic lunch before we headed out. I was a bit worried since my bleeding had picked up and a clotty looking thing came out, but life can’t just sit still. We took the car in to get the oil changed then I ran back home to check how things were, they were much better. We headed to the park for a playgroup and had fun burning energy. I had the kids racing, which I got sucked into a bit also, so they were complaining about tired legs on the walk to the car. Once home the neighbor kids were out so we played outside with them while I weeded my native garden. The only area left is around the prickly pear so not too much left to do. At 2 we headed inside as the dark clouds came closer and I put L down for a nap and had B take a rest. I worked on laundry so I wouldn’t have to worry about that on Mother’s Day and I prepped dinner. When B was done with his rest he asked to make hard bananas, which is banana chips, so we cut bananas for the dehydrator and then L was up. The kids watched a movie while I pulled weeds in the backyard and pulled some strawberries for N. Once DH was home we ate a very healthy dinner before taking a walk and then stopping at N’s so the kids could watch a movie together. The movie didn’t go over well and L and R were off playing within 5 min then B was up and playing. We moved them to the back yard and enjoyed the evening. When we were home B decided he needed to draw since it was almost Mother’s Day and I was told to leave. I went downstairs and got the guest bedroom cleaned and ready for my mom, it needed some help after 2 guys stayed in there. The kids got a bath and I pulled together food for our hike before heading to bed.
Sunday L came into our room at 7 and DH bolted up to let me sleep. I didn’t sleep well after that but I was able to doze a little bit. I got up at 8 and DH made bacon, eggs, and fruit for breakfast. The kids were so sweet with their Happy Mother’s Day exclamations and hugs, it was such a nice way to wake up. Though L did tell me I was stinky, she didn’t like my morning breath. B was cute when we sat down for breakfast because he said “Ahhh that feels good” so I asked what feels good. His response was “The bacon”. Goofy kid. I opened my cards and cried from DH’s card, it was so sweet. For my gift I got 2 Cathe MMA DVDs and a STEP DVD, I was very happy. It was drizzling and dreary but we decided to put our rain gear on and go for a hike. The did the Kirk Hill loop and L hike the whole way, I was very proud of her. We weren’t able to do the whole hike because the snow got too deep and we weren’t able to see where the trail was. I was holding B’s hand helping him over the snow we did walk on and he said “I don’t know about this”. Ah they make me laugh. We stopped at the mall on our way home to get a watch battery for DH and presents for my mom. After some play time the kids took naps and DH and I watched Eat, Pray, Love. It’s a chick flick but not bad, at least there was some Pearl Jam in there to keep DH’s attention. We ended our day with board games with the kids, buffalo t-bone steaks, and wrestling. I even painted my nails and toenails while watching a mom show while DH and B played Lego Star Wars. The kids were so well behaved all day and it finally snapped come bed time. L would not leave B alone, though I’m sure he wasn’t innocent. At one point L comes out saying B punched her and he said it was because she stuck her head over his railing. Then DH takes some toys out of their bed and they’re screaming and crying like it’s the end of the world. L made it to the PnP when DH caught her standing on the railing bothering B, after that they both passed out. Before bed I talked DH into a massage and I have to say I think it was the best Mother’s Day ever.
I have some shopping to do after work and then I’ll pick the kids up and call my mom to wish her Happy Birthday. I have a whole chicken in the crock pot, hopefully it’s delicious, so dinner is ready to go. I plan to try one of my new MMA workouts tonight and hopefully get in bed at a decent hour. I’m still not eating carbs (other than what’s in fruit, etc), dairy, sugar, or caffeine and I’m feeling really good and don’t have the cravings to eat bread and crackers like I usually do. I plan to keep following this up to my birthday. I know I’m planning to make my mom a birthday cake and our anniversary dinner in Chico is on Friday so I’ll do my best at that time but not beat myself up for a rare treat. Rare is the key word here. I’m excited to step on the scale tomorrow.
Yesterday turned out to be a fantastic day. After work I got gas, olive oil, and hit the grocery store before getting the kids. Since it had rained all day the kids wanted to play inside, I expected them to request puddle jumping but they surprised me. While they watched some videos I made dinner and then we called to wish my mom Happy Birthday. She had bad news in regards to my grandparents health. My grandma had another small stroke and will be seeing a cardiologist on Thursday and they have put her on blood thinners. Thankfully she doesn’t have any negative side effects, heck the woman baked cinnamon rolls yesterday. My grandpa went in for another stint and my mom has been trying to contact him to see how he’s doing. My guilt of not stopping to see him when we were in Mitchell is setting in. I need to send him a letter to try to put my guilt at ease. DH was stuck at an onsite so he didn’t get home until L was just going to bed. He and B then played some video games so I watered plants and sat for a little bit. I finally pushed B to bed right before 9, it was ridiculous. I then did my new MMA boxing workout, it was a lot of fun and a great calorie burn. I didn’t go beyond the core so I’ll have to try that again. I then talked with DH for a bit and went to bed.
The scale was down 3.4 pounds from last week, so happy! I’m still bleeding and the prior 3 days had been gushes then it would die down. Today has been more of an AF type bleed. I did call the nurse and left a message but haven’t heard back from her, doubt I will today. I got my hair cut and I kept it longer but had shape added around my face and some layers. Looks similar to my norm but good to have a fresh cut. Work has been busy, I have two big estimates to do and I really am dragging my feet. Tonight we’re having soup and I’ll try another MMA workout. I’m loving this no carb (grain free really) diet. I’ve been pulling recipes from one of my favorite bloggers to try my mom’s cake grain free this weekend. It will be interesting if nothing else.
Another great day with food and dare I say easy? I can’t help but be amazed that for the first time in ages I’m not obsessed with food and thinking about what snacks we have in the house. This feels awesome, it feels normal! It was finally no longer rainy when we got home so the kids played with N’s girls and then it was home for dinner, baths, play, and bed. I did the full MMA Kickboxing workout and it was it a good time. I also started to feel the soreness in my arms from the workout the night before. I then headed to bed, it was another exciting night at my house.
Since I never heard back from the nurse yesterday, and my bleeding is now constant and heavy, I called and left another message. Of course she called me just as my meeting was starting but she did get me in for a checkup tomorrow at 3. Tonight I am going to work on laundry, do a Hiit workout, and bake the cake. I’m trying a grain free recipe that uses coconut flour, I hope it turns out really nice.
I spent my afternoon organizing our storage area and I wasn’t pleased at how sloppy and lazy the guys are at putting parts back properly. I told D that if they mess it up before FY end count heads will roll and he agrees with me so we get to have a fun little meeting, yay! It was really nice when we got home so we played with N’s girls and then headed home to make dinner. Both kids were tired and L told me several times she was no longer my friend. I know that just means I’m doing my job right [FONT=Wingdings]J[/FONT] L didn’t want to finish her dinner so she went to bed right after she got down. I had high hopes that she’d actually go to bed and get the sleep she needed but no. B was tired also but once he was in the room they both fell asleep right away, thank God. Before he was in bed I did two loads of laundry, paid bills, and baked my mom’s cake. Once he was in bed I did a 3 mile run and I wanted to walk but pushed through and even though I was 3 minutes slower than my normal it was still a great run. Today started with a couple jerks at work, it’s just people being a-holes and I just shut my trap when one guy said I took a cop out. No I told the truth and laid it out there if you think that’s a cop out then you’re an idiot. It’s been better and I am leaving early since I’m going to see the OB this afternoon. I’m a bit nervous but I really hope it’s nothing major. Tonight I’m going to clean the house, frost the cake, start packing, and get a Hiit workout in. I’m taking tomorrow off so I’ll get to take B to swim lessons and watch him, I’m really excited about that. My mom is coming up in the morning and DH and I will head to Chico for our Anniversary weekend in the afternoon. We’ll have a night of soaking, eating great, and hopefully sleeping in. I think I can keep my food on track on Friday but Saturday may be a bit harder. I’ll just do my best and then get back on track on Sunday. I’ve told DH I feel like my bleeding is going to ruin our weekend. He said even if we just cuddle it will be a great weekend, he’s so sweet. I just hope the bleeding will be able to be controlled by a tampon. How mortifying would it be to leak blood while in the pool! On Sunday I hope to get the garden tilled and planted and work on more weeding. I think it will be a good weekend.
My doctor appointment last week went pretty well. At first we just discussed what’s been going on with me and decided to do an ultrasound just to check things out. Sure enough I have a cyst on my left ovary that is about 1” x 1.5”. It at least explains everything and I have to go back on the 9th to make sure it’s getting smaller and not bigger. He thinks my body tried to ovulate but didn’t release the egg, awesome! I stopped at Costco on my way home and cleaned the house. It was so nice to sleep in on Friday a little bit and I enjoyed watching B at his swim lesson. He’s not as confident as I had hoped he’d be but his teacher said it was the best he had ever done before and I cheered him on. L just enjoyed the little kid potty and I told her she could take lessons but she has to be potty trained, I’m desperate here! After swim we headed home and the kids played with the neighbors until my mom arrived. It was then Mimi mayhem of gifts and play while I whipped together a lunch and then we left for our Anniversary getaway. The kids of course cared less that we were leaving. We were out the door a little early so we stopped by REI to look at things and immediately picked up a backpack for L so she could have one when we hike. Typical parents. We got to Chico right at check in and after breaking in our room, very carefully due to this darned cyst, then hit the pool. We both had a couple drinks while chatting then dolled ourselves up and went to dinner. The food was superb! I couldn’t get enough and we finished it off with 2 desserts, yum! We then headed back to the pool and encountered a drunken a-hole that got me riled up for about an hour. He yelled “Get your **** off my stuff” twice at us and we weren’t on his crap. I wasn’t happy and his stupid girlfriend kept giving him drinks after that, hello! Not a good idea! Anywho we had a great soak then passed out in our bed. Think we slept in? Of course not! I think I was probably initially up at 6:00 but I didn’t look at the clock until 7 and we had a lazy morning dozing off and on then having breakfast in our room before soaking. Once we got home to our kids, who quickly turned into monsters, greeted us with big hugs and then we jumped in the car and did some shopping, grabbed lunch, and picked up a coffee. The kids napped in the afternoon while we chatted and it was just a nice relaxing time with my mom. Sunday we were up fairly early and went out to breakfast then saw my mom off. Once we got home DH tilled my garden then I prepped it and planted seeds. L was my biggest helped but B made sure he got some seeds in the ground also. Our afternoon involved playing with the neighbors and the week has been pretty typical.
Tuesday was our actual anniversary and I wanted to make a nice dinner, share a growler (our favorite GF beer is back on tap) and watch a movie. I started to get some abdominal/cramping pains and the kids were being tyrants and DH worked late so my night had me falling asleep on the couch before 8 and I wasn’t in a good mood. I was still a bit crabby about it come Wednesday and I still wasn’t feeling well but DH surprised me by taking me to lunch and then he showed me the new carpet in the store. We also made up for Tuesday by having dinner, drinks, and a movie just like I had wanted. Last night I cleaned the house and tonight we are doing the wine club at a local restaurant. Our original plans were cancelled due to not enough people buying tickets so this is our second option. It will be fun. Tomorrow I’m taking the kids to Arts on Fire to make DH a Father’s Day present, I tried to make it a play group but so far no one else can go. I need to do some major filing, cleaning in the basement, laundry, and baking. It will be a typical weekend but nice.L had me crack up this past weekend. I was getting dressed and she came into the room and asked me what my nipples were. I gave her some kisses and hugs and she said to me "Mommy get your nipples off my pajamas". It was hilarious and I guess she's not too crazy about nipples.
It’s been awhile since I’ve updated, I didn’t realize it’s been so long. Memorial weekend DH did the move into the new store location. His business partner was up almost the whole week leading up to the big move and A plus the IL’s came up on that Saturday to help with the move. I had no idea who was coming to the BBQ afterwards or who all was staying with us and it turned out I had to put together a 3rd bed since the IL’s never told me they changed their mind about staying in a hotel. I was fine with it and had invited them to stay with us, we just never got a confirmation, but I pulled it off rather seamlessly. The BBQ was fun and DH then spent the next week at the store doing more set-up work every evening. Needless to say I didn’t get squat in for exercise and am feeling like a fat lazy slug right about now. The kids had both been handfuls getting them to stay in bed and stay quiet at bedtime so not having DH around really took a lot of my time. I have done a lot of cooking/baking with my rhubarb including too many rhubarb cookies that I finally mastered. They are divine! I also made some strawberry/rhubarb jam so I’ve broken in the first canning session of the summer. Lily is finally potty trained! She doesn’t even have accidents when sleeping though I still put a pull-up on her just because we have them to use. I now need to offload all of the diapers, maybe day care will take them if N isn’t interested. We took her to Target to pick out a potty treat, she picked a doll that pees and poos, ironic? Of course on the way to the register to buy the doll she stops by some clothes to squat because she had to poo. I was convinced she was never going to potty train at that point. We started to send her to DC in pull-ups and I would put her in big girl panties when we were at home. She finally decided it was time and has done great since then. We’ve had a couple accidents here and there but I think they’re mostly due to her learning that she can’t hold it too long. B did the same thing. She’s very proud of herself and I’m proud of her, it will make so many things so much easier! A few times in the past two weeks she’s called me Mommian Mae T****** when she’s mad at me or correcting me. I had thrown a piece of paper away that she had covered stickers and she came out of the pantry saying “Mommian Mae T****** did you throw this away?” It was pretty darned cute. She’s doing a great job pedaling her trike and doesn’t want any help from us. She can go pretty fast but usually just putters so walks are still pretty slow. I had a break down on Monday because the kids have been so naughty about falling asleep. I’ve been so exhausted and because we’ve had to put one in the pack n play to get them to finally fall asleep I haven’t been able to go to bed early to catch up on my sleep. I sat the kids down first thing on Monday morning and explain to them how their not falling asleep is affecting me and I asked them what needed to be done to fix this problem. I’ve done timeouts, taking toys away, and swats on the bum with no change in their behavior at all so I explained that the new consequence was to spend the next evening on the couch doing nothing. No games, no talking, no books, no toys, no TV. B understood how unfun that would be so he was good for me that night but L, like I expected, was not. She spent Tuesday evening on the couch and was not happy about it. She made that clear when she spit on my end table, spitting is her defiant act, so I put her in the highchair. Not a great night but she seemed to have learned her lesson because so far they’ve done a great job going to bed for us. B has grown quite a bit in the last month and we measured L and compared her height to B at the same age and she’s 3 inches shorter! She’s my little short stack, something I passed down to her. I’ve been in a funk lately, it’s off and on but I about cried today when DH didn’t take the dirty joke I made as I expected him to. He seemed put off by it and it made me feel rejected I guess. I closed down my IM at that point and feel like crawling in bed and sleeping, too bad I’m at work. I had my follow up appointment last week and the cyst was ½ the size from the month prior so that was good. My 68 year old doctor fist bumped me twice, it was hilarious. Of course my body decided to pick up the bleeding the day before the appointment, at least it seems like that was the end of it because for the first time in over a month I haven’t had any bleeding since Tuesday. I’m scared to get my hopes up that it may be the end of this and my body may actually return to normal. Do I even remember what normal is?
I fell off my no-grains wagon and I need to get back on because I have returned to where I was before I kicked the grains. I’ve been drinking too much alcohol also and that never helps in the weight loss department. So I’m focusing on no grains this weekend and hopefully I can find the will to start exercising regularly again. I want to feel good and I know that requires me eating healthy and exercising so I just have to do it.
Our neighborhood garage sale is tomorrow and I’m going to try to sell a few things at N’s house. We’ll also have a table set up for the kids to sell cookies, brownies, kool-aid, and coffee. Figured it might be a fun way for them to earn some money for their piggy banks. I have everything baked already so hopefully I can get to bed early tonight after I finish cleaning the house. I’m going to get up at my normal time so I can be dressed and ready by 7:30 to set up for the sale.
On Tuesday I discovered, by searching the state registry, that we have a level 3 sex offender living on our street now. My stomach dropped and I was livid. I immediately told N and she told the neighbors that were outside. A level 3 has a high probability of repeat offenses and he’s considered violent. This is not someone I want on my street and it has taken the level of safety I’ve felt before and shattered it. He’s also the same guy I encountered last year after I motioned for him to slow down, awesome! I printed out copies of the state info, including his picture, and posted them on our street and one of the neighboring streets. People have a right to know so we can all stay safe. All of the signs were taken down the next afternoon but I do know some people saw them before hand. I plan to put more up. I told the kids he liked to trick people and they are to stay away from him and we picked up another shotgun to keep in our closet since the other guns are in the gun safe in the basement. I’ve even ordered a lockbox to mount in our closet. I’m not taking his presence lightly and I plan to bring this up at our neighborhood meeting/BBQ on Wednesday. That should be a fun conversation.
Been a little bit since I’ve updated and a lot has happened. I’ll do my best to go over the main things. I’ll pick up on our neighborhood sex offender. At the HOA meeting some people took it how I do and others seemed to think it wasn’t so serious because he was young, assuming it was a statutory rape issue. I found out from one of the neighbors that didn’t take it seriously that his victim was his sister, yeah. The garage sale went well, I got rid of most of my stuff and the kids made about $12 each on the cookie sales, not sure it was really worth it. At the end of June we got in our first camping trip at our favorite spot. The weather was perfect and we had fun roasting hotdogs and marshmallows and just hanging out as a family. The sleeping part was a bit rough for me. We all went to bed at 10 and I woke about 40 min later with a panic/claustrophobic attack, not the first time this has happened. I couldn’t see anything and couldn’t find the tent door and DH woke to me freaking out and gave me a flashlight. I then woke off and on until 2:30 because some damned hippies came in after 11 and started chopping wood and wooing the night away. I would have sworn they were walking around right next to our tent and then my mind started freaking about bears so it wasn’t a restful sleep. When the kids were up at 6 I told B to yell his little heart out and those hippies with hangovers got to hear us. We had a great breakfast, got in a nice hike (saw either wolf or coyote poop), then soaked at Chico on our way home. B was busy making friends with 2 year olds up to adults. He had a gathering for awhile.
My birthday was pretty nice, nothing special and I couldn’t really come up with a place I wanted to eat at so I made dinner. B went to VBS with A in June and he loved it. I had a freak out about them being able to give him GF snacks because they wouldn’t communicate with me so I had to send safe food with him. It worked out and he did a great job signing the songs they learned at the BBQ. B had a great birthday and his party didn’t have as many of his buddies, I think having it the weekend of the 4th effected that, but they had a great time doing a scavenger hunt and Darth Vader piñata. The 4th we went to N’s house to BBQ and light off fireworks, I had to work the next day so that was rough especially since it was FY end. It also didn’t help that my co-worker and I had a screaming match with F-bombs being thrown all over the place. I was so furious and am keeping my guard up with him.
L’s birthday was also a great time and she had a nice turnout of friends. Her age definitely requires parties to move from activity to activity a lot quicker. My parents took the kids home for the week so DH and I spent our Sunday alone staining the fence. He seemed to think it would take a few hours but I knew it was going to take all day and it did. At least it’s done for the next few years. We did some running around and went on a couple walks but overall I was not productive the whole week and it kind of sucked. DH has been stressed and thus crabby and that played in. On Wednesday of that week I scheduled a body scrub and hot stone massage (birthday present from DH) then DH met up with me to go out for dinner. He never came up with a place so we tried Starky’s but they had changed their menu and didn’t have the GF menu yet and most of the meals were not easily made GF. The food wasn’t all that great and he *****ed about it and it made me feel responsible and I almost started crying at the restaurant. On the drive home I cried the whole way and once home I just busied myself with all the stuff that needed to be done and DH realized quickly I wasn’t happy. When I went to bed I did explain to him what bothered me but the damage was done. We both agreed the week just sucked. We took Friday off and were going to drive to Fsyth together but DH had to do some emergency work so I left before him. It was so good seeing the kids, L had a really hard time at night with us not being there and B demanded we Skype on Thursday because he needed to see us. C and his kids arrived shortly after me and since W wasn’t there everyone had a GREAT weekend and relaxed. It was awesome. DH and I planned to see Harry Potter that night but they didn’t have the late show because of the fair so we were shafted, I was really ticked off. Saturday we visited with my grandma, shot the shotgun at the land, and went to the fair. Both kids had a great time with the rides and after they were in bed DH and I went back to go on the bigger rides and meet up with B & A. I didn’t see anyone from my class and it wasn’t all that thrilling downtown but we had an OK time. The drive home on Sunday was a bit frustrating. L fell asleep between Fsyth and Billings but woke so I was able to get gas, treats, and hit the potty once we were in Billings. Around Reed Point she had to go potty so we stopped by the rest area. 2 minutes after getting back on the interstate she’s fussing about having to go potty again, I was livid as I pulled into Big Timber. We had a 15 min potty break and it was annoying. About 10 minutes on the road she tells me she’s out of her belt so I had pull over and re-buckle her. 20 minutes after that she was crying because she got her foot stuck in the compartment under the arm rest and panicked that she’d hurt her ankle. Our last stop was at Livingston to get her foot free and mama more coffee. After an additional hour on the road I earned my coffee.
Last weekend we just hung around the house and chilled. We did make s’mores with N and the girls on Saturday night and stayed up way too late but it was fun. Sunday we did B’s Kindergarten shopping so he’s ready to roll. Now we just need to find out who his teacher is and that will happen less than a week before he starts school. This weekend we’re BBQing with N & M and other than that I need to bake DH’s cupcakes for his b-day. DH has started mudding and sanding the drywall in the garage so that will probably consume his free time. It’s been making him crabby too so that has sucked. I keep telling him to exercise with me so he can de-stress but he hasn’t been sticking with it. I ran 3.1 miles in 35:59 so I was excited about that on Tuesday. I have to start preparing for the Monforton 5K in September and I have to start losing weight and not holding onto this fat. Yesterday marked what would have been my due date, unbelievable that we should have another little one. I think I’ve been dealing with another cyst, a smaller one this time but still annoying that my body isn’t back to normal. Maybe it never will be again, that’s how I’m feeling at this point anyways. Pity party for one please. B has been very emotional since staying with my parents. He got into the “I get my way 100% of the time” mind frame so we really had to work on breaking that. L has had a hard time staying asleep and in bed, we’re still dealing with this one two weeks later. I hit the point where I’m fed up with yelling at the kids to get anything done, they don’t listen until I yell and it has to stop. I am now making them come over to me, look me in the eyes, and listen to what I expect from them. I know I’ve tried this before so hopefully this time it will stick. It’s been going OK and I haven’t been yelling so that’s a plus. I’ve also started to spend more time with the kids at bedtime. I’ll lie with each kid for about 5 minutes and then leave them be and I think they’re really enjoying it. They get to talk about whatever is one their mind, usually bugs, and then we do cuddles and kisses. It’s a nice way for both of them to get some one on one attention. L is so cute because she talks with her big grin and says let’s talk about animals. Then she starts clapping and singing about animals. Her favorite is “Butterflies, butterflies, pink and purple butterflies, I love butterflies, etc”. I could just gobble her up.
Here’s to a relaxing weekend and picking up my camp kitchen!
This weekend wasn’t anything special, it was actually pretty relaxing and it was nice to be able to laze around a bit. I was exhausted on Friday night and only cleaned the floors before heading to bed. Saturday we enjoyed breakfast on the deck and had a lazy morning. I napped with B for a bit and we played outside with the neighbors while we waited for DH to get home. Once he was home we headed to N & M’s house for the BBQ and had a great time. L played shy when M stopped by for dinner, he had to work, but warmed up quickly and invited him to our house. When we got home we discovered I made a stupid mistake by leaving the umbrella up. A wind storm had went through and picked the umbrella up and over the house and it landed on the front fence breaking the top off one slat. I was so peeved with myself for not putting the umbrella down but also thankful that it didn’t impale a car, house, or person. B had a 101 fever before bed and I was hoping it was just from some over exertion.
Sunday we all slept in, ran errands, and I worked on laundry. B was mostly around the 99 range but he did hit 101 early afternoon, you’d never know he had a fever since he was acting normal. DH was working in the garage so I wanted to take L with us to UC but she took the longest nap, of course on the day I needed her to not, so I left as late as I could without her. They did a strep test on B and it came back negative but she seemed to think he still may have it so she called in a prescript in case he worsened. We went home and had some outdoor play time then a normal night. I snacked after the kids went to bed and did the same last night, not good on the scale. Yesterday I was tired when I got home and then when DH got home he started drilling me, well that’s how it felt anyways, about when the last time I sent a payment off to E was. I told him the beginning of the month I cut them a check and he said they want to see it on the 1st. I threw out well then maybe they need to lay those terms out at the beginning plus not fiddle **** around getting us the loan payment information plus cash the frickin checks when they get them rather than hanging onto them for 3 weeks. It put me in a sour mood and that didn’t go away the whole night. I did get a gift for C ready to mail, made granola bars, and went to bed early. L kept getting out of bed around 3am saying she was scared and wanted to sleep with me, not going to happen little honey.
I will get a walk in during lunch because I need to run to the Post Office and grocery store. Tonight I plan to do a kickboxing workout and above all I need to focus on my food intake, I will be hungry and it will be OK. I also want to bake some muffins tonight and possibly get a couple things done around the house but we’ll see how time works out.
Yesterday morning I went into the kids’ room to find L bottomless. Turns out she had a little accident and decided to take her pants off then just fall back asleep. I told her she can get me so we can get clean clothes and bedding. It was kinda cute seeing her bottom up in the air since that’s her favorite way to sleep.
I’m drained today and am looking forward to being home and relaxing. I’ve had productive evenings doing some baking and chores around the house. Today I high tailed it during my lunch break to pick up our quarter buffalo, take it home to put in the freezer, and then back to work. I only went over by about 4 minutes so I was pretty pleased. I need to stop by the grocery store before heading home then have the kids help me wrap DH’s birthday presents and write on his card. I need to clean the house tonight and try to get some extra sleep, we’ll see how that goes. I wanted to get a Hiit workout in but I’m not feeling up to it. Today has been a crappy day at work, people throwing each other under the bus (I’ve been under it twice to my knowledge) when all it takes is some honesty that our bosses over scheduled us and the projects thrown down to us from the president have taken priority over other projects even though they shouldn’t have. Really it’s just a bunch of political BS and I’m tired of it, I don’t play these games. Of course other people are throwing attitude at me and I’m not in the mood, f-off is my motto. Not very nice but it’s the truth.
I need to call my mom and MIL, it’s been awhile since I’ve touched base. Things are so busy and I know my mom understands but I’m sure MIL is taking it personally. I need to suck it up and take one for the team I guess. DH has the first coat of paint done in the garage and will start on the second coat tonight. He was hoping to get away with just one but things never work that way. At least once this is done we can get the garage organized how it needs to be, not having toys and bikes under foot will be very nice and worth all of this effort.
We had a spectacular camp weekend it was a great battery recharger and just what we all needed. Friday night we stopped at Visions West to see S’s artwork and visit for a short amount of time, you can’t be there too long with little ones because it gets boring fast for them. We then had pizza at Audrey’s before heading home to get the kids in bed and pack for our camping trip. Saturday we were on the road right before 9 so we were on track with our plans. We went straight to Bannack Ghost Town and met up with C and M (C’s sister in law). We started looking at the buildings then did the mine tour which B really liked. At the end B asked the guide what the blue gold was and the poor guy was confused. I realized he was asking about some broken glass that was there. Of course L couldn’t be out done so she had to ask a question also, I’m not even sure what she said because it was so quiet but she was pleased with herself. We then went back to the ghost town and had a quick lunch before finishing our walk through. B thought the gallows was where they hung people by their feet, I had to explain it was by their necks to choke them and it ended in their death. I did love how he thought everything was a jail. We headed out to find our campsite and DH had found a location online with only 5 spots but it was really close to everything we wanted to do. When we first got there it looked full but we drove through and the last site was free and perfect. It was right next to a very small crick, the kids were able to walk in it without getting more than their shoes wet and no worries about falling, plus it had an open meadow to play in and was away from everyone else. We even saw a frog a couple times so that was big excitement for the kids. We set up camp then made hotdogs over the fire and enjoyed smores before heading to bed. The kids spazzed out when they were in the tent so we wound up going to bed earlier than we had planned.
Sunday we all slept in until almost 8 it was shocking! We got up and I made bacon, eggs, and hash browns then drove up the road to see our second ghost town. Coolidge was the largest silver mine in Montana and it was an easy .5 mile hike to get to the ghost town. There were several spots with water crossing the road so that kept the kids motivated and then we started seeing the mill press. It’s not a maintained ghost town so the buildings have been allowed to cave in but one was still structurally sound enough for us to walk through it, I guess the metal roof was a helper. We were able to walk up to the mill press and the concrete arches were still intact, I guess the government burned the building that stood on top down to keep people from getting hurt. It’s amazing they were able to build that in such a remote location back in the 1800’s. DH was loving it. L was tired of walking so we carried her off and on but she does have short little legs so we couldn’t blame her. Once we were back at camp we had lunch then we loaded up and went to Jewel Park to dig for jewels. The kids were tired but so excited to dig and use their tools. L kept asking where the sand was as we were walking up the hill. We found a nice spot and the kids sifted through finding rocks and jewels, all of the rocks were jewels to B, while DH and I sifted through our own. I found the best jewels on the ground exposed by rain water cleaning them off. After almost 2 hours we headed back to camp where we made hobo packets and brownies (that’s right we baked brownies on our camp stove) for dinner and the kids played in the stream rinsing off their jewels and joyfully yelled about their finds. They then taught me about things in their backpack and we had a nice evening just hanging out as a family, couldn’t be better. The kids were dive bombing each other in the tent so we went to bed earlier than planned again. L did wake at 12:30 crying because she was bitten all over her legs and ankles by mosquitos and was swollen and itching terribly. She told me they were trying to give her kisses. DH put sting relief on her and I went to the van to dig for allergy and pain medicine. She finally settled after a bit and I wished DH a Happy Birthday as he was worried we’d have to pack up in the middle of the night.
Monday DH was up a little after 6 and started a fire and had a quiet start to his morning. B slept until 7:20 and then joined DH and I started packing up bags while L slept. She was still sleeping once I was done so I joined the boys and she was up 15 minutes later. We enjoyed huckleberry pancakes with bacon then packed everything up and headed home. Cell coverage was nonexistent; there wasn’t even spotty service in the area so once we got close to Dillon we started getting messages. The one that took me by shock and made me tear up was from my brother. It basically stated he and SIL are getting divorced, he caught her cheating on him for the 3rd time (4th if you ask me) so that means he and the kids will be up to visit more often in the future. I’m heartbroken that he and the kids have to go through this yet I’m also relieved we can all move on. I called my mom and got some of the details, none of which were surprising, and then we enjoyed our drive home. Once home we played with the neighbors and then I rushed to frost DH’s cupcakes while making dinner and then the neighbors came over to have cupcakes with us.
Last week was busy and I fought a sinus cold or allergies, I did a lot of sleeping because of it. Friday night B had his pre-school graduation and they walked out and had a ceremony then did a circus. B could care less about performing but he did do his lion tamer routine with A well. L danced on the sidelines while the other kids performed with dance/cheer and kept waving to make sure I was watching her. B was acting up a lot and DH had to sit down with him to figure out what was going on. He’s worried the kids at Kindergarten won’t be nice and we’ve been doing a lot of reassurance with him since then. Saturday morning I took the kids to Rocky Creek Farms and we picked raspberries then played for a bit before heading home. We BBQ’d at S & G’s on Saturday night and Sunday was filled with chores and 3 batches of pickles to can, I think I may have more to do after tomorrow’s CSA pickup. Last night was the school’s open house and we met B’s teacher and checked out his classroom. L seemed to think she was starting Kindergarten also. He has to share a “locker” which sucks because they’re small and it’s going to get difficult come winter but at least I know the mom of the kid he has to share with. T from his old day care is in the class and his cubby mate, hopefully they get along and he’s not quite as aggressive as he used to be. He also knows a girl from his current DC in the class and we showed him where he’d be picked up along with the library. We then met up with N and her girls and K took us to the other building to show us the gym, music room, and her classroom. Turns out we know a girl in her class and she just lives a block north of us. Such a small town. I asked B if he was feeling better about school and he said yes but he’s still afraid. I told him that’s normal. Tomorrow is his first day and I’m going to be late to work so I can see him off, I’m probably going to cry. I had told S that I signed B up for swim lessons on Tuesday nights and she signed A up for them also so the boys can at least see each other once a week guaranteed. When she told A that B starts school tomorrow he started to cry and said he’ll never get to see him again. That made me tear up so I think tomorrow may be emotional. I’m also sleeping terribly because I can’t stop thinking about his school, it’s rather frustrating. I gave his teacher info on him being GF and after seeing the gluten filled and unhealthy (cookies, gusher’s, etc) snacks provided by the other parents I think I may just provide safe options for him daily. I’m waiting to get feedback from her so I can see what will work best, I provide them daily or leave a box of options for him to choose from. They will have lunch from 10:45-11:15, can we say early!?! I know their lunch room is small but wow. The first few weeks they assess where the kids are and then split them up by skill for things like reading and math so he will work with different teachers. I’m interested to see where he will be placed. I’m nervous and excited for him.
I told B on Sunday night that his Aunt W was moving out and that they were no longer going to be married. He said “That’s impossible! You can never be unmarried.” It was really cute but I had to explain to him that it can happen but to never worry about DH and me because we will never be unmarried. He then started talking about bugs so I don’t think that was a worry.
B’s first day of Kindergarten started off well. We dropped L off at DC then took B to the playground. He played for a bit then the bell rang and we took him over to his classroom door. This is when he started to cling to me, he grabbed onto my leg and did not want to let go. We were trying to calm him and finally had to just stick him in the line while he wiped tears from his eyes and hid his face. He wasn’t hysterical but it sure made my heart ache. He did pull himself together and walked into the classroom with his shoulders hunches and feet of lead. Poor boy. I had a pit in my stomach the whole day wondering how he was doing and hoping things turned around for him. He looked fine when I picked him up from DC and he said he had a great day and was ready to go back on Thursday. What a relief! I’ve been very careful to dote on L also and ask her the same questions like what was your favorite part of the day, how was lunch, etc. B said he made a new friend but he’s mentioned two new kids, not sure if it’s the same kid. He’s also been playing with N at recess and sees kids he knows regularly so I think he’s feeling more comfortable. He told me he’s a slow eater, which I knew, so he’s only getting about 1/3 of his lunch in before he has to go to recess. I told him he just needs to work on getting more in before it’s time to go, hopefully he’ll get better. All in all he seems happy and I’m excited to see him grow.
L has been very defiant lately, I think she’s feeling a bit left out because B is in Kindergarten. DH has been frustrated with her a lot lately and I commented that I felt she may be feeling less important so hopefully we can both be a bit more conscious of things. She told me before bed the other night that I was the most beautiful mommy, it gave me some tears in my eyes.This weekend we’re heading to Fsyth to hang with the family and I mean the whole clan. My Uncle S and Aunt A are celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary on Saturday with a BBQ and jam session. It should be fun and I wish I was at my weight from last summer rather than these extra 13 pounds I’ve been sporting. Ugh. We’re also taking the kids to the movie on Saturday night, hopefully L does well and if not I don’t mind leaving with her. I need to make more pickles and get some chores around the house taken care of on Sunday but depending on when we get home I may or may not have time to get it all done. Starting next week I’m going to work on giving myself 3 goals for the week to work on. This weekend I’m focusing on portion size and not snacking beyond 8. I would love to do no grains but I’m pretty sure that won’t happen since I don’t have control over the meals, I’ll do my best.
Our weekend in Fsyth was nice though I got a sore throat and mild temp so I wasn’t feeling 100%. I caught up with some of the family at the BBQ and the kids had the run of the park and played together really well. I was OK with just glancing to make sure I saw all of them here and there because I knew others were watching them also. Logan was great and would let us know if he hadn’t seen anyone in awhile. It wound up being a long day and L fell asleep on my lap for a bit, she never does that so I knew she was beat. Once we got home and had dinner it was too late to do the movie and I wasn’t feeling well so DH and I didn’t bother going to the late show like we had talked about. We planned to stop and see the IL’s on our way home but they had forgotten we were coming through and weren’t around.
Last weekend we headed to Blgs for S’s birthday and since it was a long week we stayed with B & A for two nights. I drank a bit too much on both nights but thankfully I was smart enough to keep myself hydrated so I wasn’t hurting in the morning. Food wasn’t perfect but it could have been worse and this week I’m trying to just keep the calories low. C came to the house for lunch on Sunday and it was good to see him out and about. My mom had the kids since he was working nights and I think this is going to be a regular thing. DH told me I wouldn’t have a mom for awhile and I think he might be right. We did get to visit with the IL’s for a few hours on our way home Monday so that was nice, we always get the comments that it needs to be more and I do agree but time has not been on my side lately.
School is going well for B, he’s getting most of his lunch in now and when DH drops him off he’s playing with other kids and getting in line without having to hug or constantly wave to DH. It’s bitter sweet because the loves from him are fantastic but we also want him to be a big boy, it’s so hard. He has had some issues with feeling like he’s picked on and I’ve been trying to guide him as to how to deal with it. I think he’s getting a nice group of friends so it doesn’t seem like as big of an issue and I told him no one has the right to make him feel bad. Growing pains for all of us I guess. He does say school is boring and that he’d rather just play. I am wondering if he’s a bit bored and am looking forward to when the assessment period is over and they’re working in groups for their level. He started swim on Tuesday and it makes for a hectic and fast night but it will be good for him. Crockpot Tuesdays will be my savior.
L has been back to herself and she started swim on Wednesday. DH and I went to see her first lesson and my little short stack can’t stand by herself because the water is up to her bottom lip. The instructor had to hold her most of the time and she was not liking water being splashed in her face. She starts dance tomorrow and gymnastics on Monday so she will stay plenty busy this year.
I’m still sick so exercise has been nonexistent. Last week I coughed non-stop and this week I have swollen glands, I’m ready to be healthy again. I’ve been making pickles like mad and have more to make this weekend. I also need to make some elderberry jelly though the robins are all over that bush and may not leave much for me to use. I’ve spent the evenings organizing the storage rooms and moving stuff into the new storage room. DH finished putting up the ceiling rack in the garage so we can move more stuff from the basement out there. I need to go through the kids’ clothes next, I hate that job, but then things should be very well organized.
DH and B are heading to Hamilton tomorrow to stay with C and go to the Griz game. L and I will have a girls weekend and are making dinner on Friday night then we may opt for a movie night or make a sweet treat. Saturday we’re going out for breakfast, will hit the Farmer’s Market and do a little bit of shopping then she’s having her friend S over for a play date. It should be fun and I’m looking forward to our girl time. She is too because she kept getting out of bed last night to tell me how happy she is to make Mac & Cheese with me and that the boys will be at the football game. I’m going to offer up some cheese, fruit, and hummus because I don’t want to eat the M&C and I know she’ll love the other options I’ll have.
I was anxious to get out of work on Friday so I worked through lunch and realized on my way to get L that it was her first day of dance and she was busy from 3:30-4:30. So I went to Costco and the grocery store to get the things I needed then dropped everything off at the house before getting L. She didn’t want to play when we got home so we went inside and cuddled while watching Peppa Pig and then we started making dinner. She helped me by taste testing the cheese and fruit then did most of the work making the Mac & Cheese. We ate dinner outside and she enjoyed the cheese and fruit I had selected then we did a bath and cuddled in my bed to watch some TV before calling it a night. We did talk with DH and B and they stopped in Msla to have dinner with SIL S, C, & big B then went to SIL C’s house. The kids were missing each other and very cute giggling on the phone together. Right before bed L said “I really miss my best friend, Brodie.” It was so cute! We were asleep by 9:30 and didn’t get up until 8:00, I haven’t slept that long in ages!
We were out the door an hour after getting up and stopped by the Farmer’s Market, L was expecting there to be cows and horses to pet but she was disappointed. We then went out for brunch at Vera Fare and stopped off at Olivelle on our way home. L took a nap and I prepped things for the play date. The girls had a great time playing and S’s mom C was going to drop her off but we got to talking so she stayed and we had a nice afternoon. We went to N & M’s to roast marshmallows in the evening and DH and B joined us once they got home, it made for a late night but we had a great time.
Thankfully the kids slept in until 8ish but once L knew B was up she was giddy saying “I’m your sissy sis!” They cuddled on the couch while I made bacon and pancakes. We had a nice breakfast outside and had a lazy morning getting ready. We did take a walk that ended badly when B was zig sagging his bike on the gravel road. He bit it and scraped his knee to where it was bleeding but no rocks were stuck in the skin. He screamed and cried like his leg was broken, I had to dump my coffee and carry him home. It was ridiculous how much he overreacted as he yelled it’s gushing! Good grief it was frustrating. I spent the day doing DH’s books, laundry, and making pickles. DH and I ended the night watching Paul and then it was off to bed.
Yesterday morning I had some pain that felt crampy but once I saw blood I knew it was another cyst. Last month I don’t even think I ovulated and I had some bleeding that was abnormally long so I think I had a cyst then also. It’s a bit depressing. I’m starting to think this is just my body now and that does not make me happy. I did order an herbal remedy that is supposed to help with cysts and I hope it works. I sat the kids down and ordered their Halloween costumes, I know it’s early but we keep talking about it and I decided to just get it over with. B is going to be a ninja which surprised me because I expected a Storm Trooper. L liked every cute costume she saw and couldn’t make up her mind so I encouraged her to go with a cute witch costume. I’m excited to see them. I made elderberry juice last night so tonight I’m going to make jelly. I am also going to force myself to get a short workout in, I have to start somewhere! B has his swim lesson tonight and I have chili in the crockpot so once we get home I won’t have any cooking to do, woot! Another focus tonight is to not snack, I am gaining still and it has to stop before I don’t fit in any of my clothes. I’m feeling pretty disgusted with my body right now.
I still haven’t gotten off my rear to get back into the exercise mode AND I’m eating like I have the metabolism of a teenage boy. It’s not a good combo if you haven’t already guessed. I feel like a lard *** and I need to focus on that so I can start showing some restraint. I have been somewhat productive on the day to day/week to week things but still a lazy bones all in all. DH has decided to take the kids to Msla tonight after dinner and then they’ll all go to the football game tomorrow. My weekend has been opened up! I’m making dinner for them tonight and will see them out the door. N and I are then going out for dinner and wine and once home I’ll clean the floors then hit the hay.
Tomorrow I’m meeting S at 9 for the 5K, I’m so thankful we’re walking it this year but I also feel like a loser for not being in the shape to run it. I have no idea what will happen after that. S and I may hang out and have some wine but I don’t really know. I would like to get some things done around the house like a bit of baking, organizing, and lounging. The family should be home around 7/8 and the rest of the weekend I think we’ll just hang out and play it by ear.
B brought home his first golden ticket, which is a pat on the back for being extra good, for giving one of his classmates his seat. He also told me they did some testing but he wouldn’t go into any further detail. I’m interested to see what the results are and where he gets placed, hopefully it will be challenging for him.
Time is passing too quickly, heck it’s October and we’re still seeing 70/80 degree weather so I don’t feel like it’s as late in the year as it is. My sweet little tomatoes are happy and need the extra time so no complaints here, I don’t want it cold until November. Things have been busy and got even busier this past weekend but I’ll get into that in a bit.
The weekend of the 5K N and I had a great dinner out and I enjoyed sleeping in a bit before the race. S and I did some speed walking with a little bit of running because we wanted to beat the other two walkers and I noticed they were running a little bit. 44 min was our time and we were happy with it. It was a nice jump start for me to start exercising again so I was thankful for that. We met up for lunch later in the day and then I looked for some shoes, didn’t find any, and spent the rest of the day being lazy waiting for my family to return. DH had his hands full with the kids asking to go potty every 15 min, he wound up leaving early because he had had enough. They did have fun and after a major meltdown when they got home we got them into bed and had a nice weekend after that.
We had our Wine Club BBQ on the 24th and it was really nice just hanging out with everyone’s families. We all get along really well and that is a relief. Sunday we decided to get the kids their winter gear and that was a bit of a shock on the pocket book. I think they’ll be able to wear their stuff for two years, maybe not the boots but everything else, so that should make it worthwhile. I have gotten back on track with my food intake and exercise. I’m having to ease into my workouts a bit but at least I’m active and feeling really good. Food has been easier and I’ve lost weight this past week so I’m looking forward to stepping on the scale tomorrow. I am dedicated to see 135 on the scale and I’ll do what is needed to work my way to that point. This past weekend was Homecoming in Msla so we drove up on Friday night and were staying at the same hotel as the opposing team so the pool was empty. It made it nice for the kids to go down the slides and have their run of the place. We did get to see the family for a short while then I dropped DH and B off at campus and L and I went out to lunch, played at Dragon’s Hollow, rode the carousel, hit the mall and the Good Food Store, then parked on campus to wait for the boys because she fell asleep. Once the game was over we went out for pizza and then hit the road for home. It was 9 when we got home and I was ready for bed but surprise, surprise we walked into a wet house. The rugs were all soaked and at first I figured the fridge leaked a little but when we opened the freezer we saw that the ice cube maker had ran nonstop and froze inside but leaked out. DH made a comment that I had caused it by putting too much in the freezer and I felt some major guilt especially when he said some drywall had been damaged. I was crying and the kids started crying because I was so we got them to bed and started cleaning. I realized I wasn’t the reason for this happening and wasn’t too pleased that he blamed me but I’ve moved on. We have to move all of the appliances to dry behind them along with all the items in the pantry, I threw a lot of things away. Once the upstairs was wiped up we went downstairs and moved items from the shelves and dried up what we could. I’d say at least 6 drywall panels need to be replaced. The next day we got a hold of insurance and they said to pull the carpet back where it got wet and this is when we saw how extensive that damage was. We had to pull the carpet into half of the dining room and removed the soaked padding. We also had to pull toward the west and into the closet removing about 3’ of padding there. L and I picked up some fans and we had it sit for a couple days. The linoleum is bubbling and a few spots so that will have to be removed but the insurance people seemed to think we should keep it as is until the adjustor could arrive. I’m nervous about it being wet and molding. I have kept busy throwing things away, boxing up give-aways, and boxing up what we want to keep. I still have a lot to do since I plan to use this time to really go through everything and do a thorough clean up. Insurance will be by today and will cut us a check, hopefully I won’t be disappointed with the amount, and then we’re going to look at carpet and tile options. I am getting the desire to paint while the house is in shambles and I think this is a good time to move our fridge to the garage and get me a new one. We’ll see if we can afford all of this. My dad will help with the drywall and tile so we should save some money there. I’m pretty calm about the whole thing and I’m thankful it wasn’t worse. I did want new floors just not this way, I’ll take it and do the best that I can I guess.
C’s divorce is final as of this morning and he moved her out last weekend. It was no surprise when he informed me that she’s pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. She’s such a mess. I think L & B are taking it OK, maybe the pregnancy will at least force her to stay home and not party it up like we expected.
DH talked with B’s teacher and she said he’s doing well in school. She said he’s smart and funny and that he’s been placed in her writing class which means he’s above the curve. That’s always nice to hear. L seems to really love her classes and has been showing us some great dance moves. She also went under water at swim a couple weeks ago and can touch the floor, she’s getting big.
I’m happy to report I’m doing well with my diet and exercise. I’ve been active, though the flood has put a damper on actual exercise videos, and I’ve been avoiding sugar (no latte’s) and my snacking has easily been decreased because of this. Well after the first 4 days of detox. I lost 4 pounds last week and plan to keep it going. I will see 135 and I won’t stop until I get there. I did some online shopping for boots and clothes last week so I need to make sure I can not only fit in them but also rock them. I will reach my goal.
MIL is coming up tonight to watch the kids for us. She’s going to meet us at B’s swim lesson and then we’ll have the crockpot chili and put the kids to bed. We are hitting the Filling Station to see The Super Suckers and I’m excited to get out for a bit and rock with DH. I’m hoping it’s over by midnight because a girl does need her sleep. MIL called yesterday thinking we wouldn’t want to go because of the flood but there’s not much more we can do right now. She also thinks we should pay someone to do the work for us and that the drywall should be OK. I’m guessing she’s just trying to make me feel better but illogical comments don’t tend to do that for me. She expressed some concern about whether she could handle both kids on her own so I’m glad we will have them in bed before we leave. Makes me a little bit apprehensive about asking her to watch them for much more than this.
After work DH and I met at a carpet place to look at samples. Of course I want something that will last, be cushy on my toes, and has to be stain resistant. This results in an expensive carpet and I haven’t even looked at what getting a nicer padding will cost. Bottom line the roughly $4500 we’re getting from insurance will maybe cover my carpeting. I know with 12 year old carpet and linoleum it’s not like we’re being compensated for top quality parts but if we’re going to do this we’ll do it right. At this point it includes painting all of the main room, touching up paint in the bedrooms, and re-carpeting the whole upstairs. We’ll then replace the subfloor and tile the kitchen and entryway and lastly we’ll focus on the drywall. Demo will all be done by us, my dad will help with the drywall and tile, and the carpet we will pay to have it installed. There is so much work coming up and I am planning to complete all the little things that I’ve been wanting done. So much to do but so worth it. First off I’m going to focus on getting things organized and purge the things we don’t need. Plus I need to pick the color for the walls and plot out how we’ll attack the painting. My goal is to have these things done by this weekend. MIL met us at B’s swim lessons and both DH and I were frustrated that he didn’t listen to his instructor almost the whole lesson. We talked with him about it on the drive home but we’ll see if anything has sunk in. MIL played with the kids while DH and I moved the furniture back into place and after they were asleep we went to the Filling Station. We had a fun time, Super Suckers are so full of energy and the crowd was a bit older than last time so it wasn’t rowdy. That was a pleasant change from the last mayhem when we saw them. I was in bed by midnight so my sleep wasn’t too short. Tonight I will get a kickboxing workout in and I’ll work on organizing/packing. Oh the fun!
Exhaustion from only getting 5.5 hours of sleep hit me last night and has really hit me today. I guess I’m on a bit of a time delay. My new boots and clothes arrived. I like the boots even though they are a tad tight in a stop on my foot, I don’t think it’s anything that will cause me pain or issues but it’s just different. They are leather so there should be some loosening up with them. I like my two shirts but I’m not so sure with the skirt. I think I need to be feeling good and in a cute mood when I try it on next. That mood is of course tied to dropping some more weight so I need to stay focused. Chocolate has been finding its way into my mouth and that’s not good so I need to work on that tonight. Because I was tired I didn’t work out, poor excuse I know, but I was productive. I went through my closet and drawers and threw or donated clothes and shoes that needed to go. DH even joined in a little bit. I think went through the coat closet and linen closet and boxed up donations and put aside things that can go in storage. That’s mostly baby things because I hate to get rid of anything just in case we do have another baby. I feel like we won’t but I know DH is still on for trying to get pregnant again this winter. We both have commented over the past 6 months that it’s good we don’t have a newborn, so much has been going on and it really would have added stress. Things happen for a reason. This morning I was on top of things even though I was exhausted. I managed to go through my kitchen cupboards to organize and clear some clutter. My wok is being donated since I have never used it and some of my rarely used pans will be put downstairs. Tonight I need to move some things to the storage room and go through my VHS tapes. I need to do a quick clean and hopefully I can get to bed a little early. I need sleep.
I wound up with a 3 day weekend because L started complaining about her stomach hurting on Thursday at the dinner table and shortly after she hurled all over the carpet. Good thing we’re getting new stuff. As DH moved her to the kitchen she splattered puke on B and he started screaming and crying like it was the worst thing ever. I had a hard time not laughing and threw both kids in the tub. Funny thing was he wanted to help me scrub after his bath, silly boy. I figured she had what has hit a lot of kids in the area and it’s a short lived puke once and things are fine after. It stuck to her a bit longer but was short lived. She did puke in her bed so we moved her to an air mattress in our room and she woke every couple hours either crying about tummy pain or puking. At least it was just water and easy clean up. I used Friday to get a lot done. I cleaned the house, did lots of laundry, organized more things and the kids’ room, and put up Halloween decorations. L and I then picked B up from Kindergarten and it was a lot of fun. After a trip to the grocery store we headed home and that’s when things went south for me. First B and I heard a loud thump in the garage and then I couldn’t open the garage door. The kids then started acting up and tore their newly cleaned room apart. I was so frustrated and because they weren’t listening our prospect of making it to the corn maze was looking low. DH could tell I was stressing and I think adding to my stress was from my conversation with my dad earlier in the day. For years he’s said he would help us tile the kitchen when the time comes but during our conversation he said he’d leave his tile saw here along with a book on how to lay tile. It’s fine if he doesn’t want to help, it’s his right to not help, but it just really put me in stress mode. We did opt to watch Gnomeo and Juliet and I made peanut butter cookies that were delicious but not good for my weight. Oh and we discovered that the loud bang in the garage was the tension spring breaking in half so the door wouldn’t open at all and my car was trapped in the garage.
Saturday the first thing DH did was call a garage door place that did emergency service and they came out to do a temporary fix so I could get my car out of the garage. The kids and I had a play group at the Hay Bale Maze and the dreary day turned out to be really nice so he had a great time. After the maze we did lunch at McD’s and then it was home for naps and I chatted with my mom but wasn’t in the mood. I was still feeling a bit stressed and then when my mom was laughing off all the crap we have going on it didn’t go over well with me. I get the feeling they’re so worried and absorbed with what’s going on in my brother’s life that my troubles seem minor and in comparison they are but it made me feel abandoned. It sucked. DH was really understanding and he helped get me back into a happy place. Once he was home we ate dinner then headed to Target to get a few things and went back to the Hay Bale Maze to do the flashlight walk. The kids had a lot of fun and made a friend in the corn bin. Once home they went to bed and DH and I watched Bridesmaids and enjoyed a couple glasses of cider. It was just what I needed.
Sunday was a very lazy morning and B asked for cinnamon rolls so I tried a quick recipe for cinnamon muffins and they were OK. DH decided to head to the cabin to cut firewood so the kids and I wound up at the neighbors playing and we had a normal evening. My stress seems like it’s coming and going. I was good until last night when I got frustrated with DH talking about the estimate for the carpet & tile. I’m just crabby. It also didn’t help that I started snacking which makes me feel like crud AND DH was dinking around on the PC so I didn’t have access to the TV to workout until after 9 and that’s too frickin late. I was very crabby.
Tonight I have a Tastefully Simple party at S’s and my focus is to keep my food under control. I’m letting my dinner be the treats at the party and will allow myself 1 glass of wine. I’m not sure if I’ll get any exercise in tonight, I did take a 30 min walk during lunch so I won’t feel guilty if I opt for bed once I get home. I think it will be good to have some girl time and hopefully relax.
S’s party was fun but L is giving me a hard time and will not listen with lots of “no’s” when I ask her to do something. It’s a bit exhausting and since my stress is still elevated I’ve been doing my best to keep my cool. Sigh… I’ve done well the past couple days with food and last night I cleaned the house so I haven’t gotten in any formal exercise. I tried some clothes on last night trying to put together some new outfits and nothing looked good because I need to drop about 15 pounds in order to get them to look good. It was depressing and frustrating but I need to keep those thoughts in front of me snacking and/or overeating. If I don’t make sacrifices now nothing will change, other than I’ll get fatter. And really what’s wrong with telling myself no? If I tell myself no for 3 months, 3 little months, I can be at a more comfortable place. Easy, right?
My parents will be up tonight with my niece and nephew. I plan to get to bed early because I’m exhausted right now. Tomorrow we’ll go to the pumpkin patch and the corn maze, that should wear everyone out nicely. Once everyone is gone on Sunday I want to start cleaning, patching, and taping the walls. Then I’ll start painting but I still need to buy all of my painting materials, I should get a move on that.
DH and I talked a bit more about having another baby. I’m sure it’s not a good time right now to discuss it because we’re stressed to the max. DH is a little slow at the store right now, this is happens from time to time but it stresses him out big time. I told him it doesn’t help that we have a lot going on right now and said I’m OK with waiting on the carpet, etc until we know things are in a good spot. Our house is livable and clean so a bubble in the linoleum and spots with missing carpet padding aren’t going to be put at the top of the list if they can’t be. Anyway, DH seems to be where I am that it would be nice to have another but also OK if we don’t. This made me panic a bit because I’m not sure I’m ready to not have another one. I’m so confused.
Crabby Cindy left for the weekend and I really enjoyed our time with the family, it was nice! No stress and just a good time overall. Friday night we had eaten dinner and cleaned up from that when my parents and L & B arrived. The kids played really well and were running around in the dark backyard for quite some time. B’s General Grievous swords were looking very cool. They got to bed late and I had our morning stuff prepared and went to bed shortly after 10. Saturday I was up a bit before 7 and immediately got ready for the day. I had planned to be up at 6 but DH woke me when he came to bed and I had a fitful sleep the rest of the night. I made French toast and we had a great morning and were out the door by 9:20 for the Pumpkin Patch. The kids all had a great time and got to “drive” the tractor and burn some energy. Once home Gabe was there loading up the wood stove my dad was giving him. I talked him into having lunch with us and we visited while I made a ton of sandwiches. My kids wouldn’t nap so we headed to the corn maze and had a blast. The weather was perfect and we found all 5 clues with in 30 mins. It was a lot of fun and once home I made dinner and we had a movie night and just vegged. My kids were exhausted so they went to bed on time and I was right behind them.
Sunday we went out for dinner and had a long wait for our table, it wasn’t terrible but some in the group were tired of waiting. After we parted ways we picked up paint and supplies, found some Halloween costumes for DH and me, and hit Murdochs to use a gift card. I really could have done some serious shopping there but will have to go back sans kids. The rest of my day was filled with laundry, scrubbing the north and east walls, cleaning decorations as I took them down, and taping. I was beat by 9:30 and still had to put laundry away but at least I got to watch some Real Housewives.
L had an accident last night and didn’t let me know so she had slept in a wet bed. I’m guessing she was sleeping too deeply but she does tend to hold it too long and have little accidents here and there. I got her cleaned up and threw the bedding in the wash then cuddled a bit with the kids before getting breakfast on the table. Tonight we’re having a quick soup for dinner and then I’ll start painting the walls. My plan is two coats behind the oven and fridge and one coat on the rest of the walls. I’m already exhausted and this fun has just began.
I’m dragging today so I made some strong coffee to perk me up, it may be a little too strong but I’ll get it down. I was hungry last night and picked at food a bit too much, hopefully I won’t have those issues today but if so I will tell myself no. Once the kids were fed I started painting and initially was crabby and stressed but I pulled myself out of it quickly. B had a meltdown because he wanted to help so I promised both kids they could help us paint the big wall this weekend, L asked if it was this weekend this morning so I think they’re excited. The paint dried quickly so I was able to get two coats on the north wall and behind the appliances in the kitchen. DH had to run to get more rollers (including two for the kids) and then he painted the east wall. Once we were done I prepped lunches and went to bed exhausted. This morning I was able to remove most of the tape and put the outlet covers back on the walls. I did see one spot that didn’t get the proper overlap with the second coat so I’ll fix that tonight, do touchups in the hallway/entryway and help DH put the second coat on the east wall. I also plan to get things in the kitchen back into place or close to it. If there is time I will start taping for the trim and maybe take the door off the hinge. Sleep may over rule that but hopefully not.
On Sunday L was playing with the neighbors outside while I was washing walls. She came in a little early and I said she should go play with her friends a bit longer. She responded with “I want to be in here with you mommy because I like being with you”. It was so sweet. Last weekend when we were walking in Target B wanted to get a pack of pink baby clippers. I told him no because we don’t have a baby. He then says “I want to have another baby but we don’t have one because God stopped giving us babies”. I almost teared up but I held it together.
Progress on the painting is about where I expected, maybe a tad behind. DH had yesterday off so he went over a couple spots that were thin and he took my car in for a tune-up. They reprogrammed my car to fix the starting issues it has every now and then, apparently it’s common and it shouldn’t happen anymore. That’s a relief. I had Wine Club last night and it was nice getting away with the girls. We got home later than I had planned so I’m a bit tired today. It didn’t help that L woke around 3:15 saying she had an accident. She was soaked but I think she had slept in it for a bit. I got her cleaned up then stripped her bed and put some blankets down for her to sleep on. I was thinking she had some milk after dinner and maybe that’s what was causing it but DH said she didn’t have anything to drink and went potty twice before bed. All I can figure is she’s sleeping so deeply she doesn’t wake it’s just confusing because she usually wakes up. Anyway I started my morning with laundry and a mild headache. I’m going to try to get a ton done tonight. I have to finish taping, paint two (hopefully) coats on the doors and trim, get the kitchen back in order and cleaned, put the decorations back on the wall, and possibly wipe down the bathroom. I really could use a 3 day weekend but that’s not going to happen. We received two quotes on the carpet/tile and they’re about what we were expecting, coming in about $3-4K out of pocket if we pay someone to lay the tile for us. If we do it ourselves there’s a $1500 savings. Better be worth the headache of laying tile.
I was exhausted once we got home, I almost took N & M up on their offer for coffee but I thought I was going to make a latte so I passed. The latte didn’t happen unfortunately. I was feeling stressed with all the stuff I wanted to get done and DH helped a lot with making L’s bed, reaching the tape on the ceiling I couldn’t reach, and putting decorations back on the wall. He asked if I was going to paint and I said no I was too tired. He was too so it worked out. I did tape the last of what I needed, cleaned, and put things back in place in the kitchen. You can’t tell the color has changed all that much but it looks brighter and warmer. I’m really happy so far. I didn’t get to bed early but I slept great. L woke right before I was set to get up because she had ANOTHER accident. I asked her if she was doing this because her cousin B still wears a pull-up and she said no. I told her this is to stop right now or I will be putting her back in pull-ups at night. Stripping the sheets in the middle of the night and washing them daily is not something I plan to continue to do. I’m at a loss with this one. I was up after that and had time to take most of the pictures off the west and south walls and patch nail holes that don’t need to be there. We had a nice morning and the kids were in good moods. B has been enjoying not having to go to school these past couple of days and really wore himself out playing yesterday. Tonight my goal is to get the two coats of paint on the trim and doors then strip the walls of all that is on them. We don’t have to go anywhere this weekend so I’ll be working nonstop. Saturday I’ll wash the walls, tape, and paint two coats. The kids are excited to help so I’ll put them to “work”. Sunday I plan to paint the trim (there’s hardly any on these two walls!) and put the decorations back. I then have to bake skull cookies for both kids to take to their school Halloween parties. At this point I have no idea how many I have to bake but I think it’s going to be a lot. Since we’re GF I always feel like I need to bring something so the kids can have what others can have. My goal is to have the house back to normal come Sunday night.
I dealt with another cyst this week and I think it was a big one. It gave me some side pain and I’ve been spotting for 3 days now. The herbs I bought to try to help were really gross the one time I tried them so I’ve been taking a female tonic tea, obviously that along didn’t help. I did a search on ovarian cysts and one theory is it’s our body’s way of expressing us bottling things up. I tie it to my miscarriage since it started after that and I think maybe I haven’t fully mourned and released my loss. I am going to see if I can find something to help me with the release that can also symbolize the baby we’ve lost. I think another part of my problem is that I also haven’t physically moved on and gone back to where I was before I got pregnant with not only my weight but also my overall health with diet and exercise. I need to return to being me and caring about me. I need to make exercise a priority since I do enjoy it and it makes me feel better physically and emotionally. I need to feed my body healthy food it thrives on and only enjoy treats occasionally. I need to get back to where I was. It’s OK that I still feel sadness over the miscarriage and that I still cry at times about it. It’s OK that I’m not over it yet and it will be OK if I never get over it.
Coming into work today was welcome because it’s given me a break from all the work at the house, that’s so sad! This weekend was exhausting and productive. Friday I wrapped up the work on the trim and doors on the north and east walls plus I took all the decorations down from the south and west walls. Sleep was so welcome when I finally got it. Saturday the kids were up shortly after 7 and I pulled myself out of bed and started working as soon as they were settled to watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I moved everything but the piano and TV away from the walls and had breakfast cooking by the time DH got up. I wasn’t terribly impressed with how much he had slept in. He did help me with the piano and moved the TV but was annoyed when I told him the mess of cables needed to be cleaned up and cleaned off (can we say dust bunnies?). He did make it more manageable for me to work around before he left for work. I wasn’t too pleased when I realized he didn’t get the large ladder set up for me and sent him a text letting him know, he did at least swing by and get it up for me later on. It was a beautiful day and I was a bit sad I was spending it inside washing walls and taping. This took me hours to do and my goal of having started painting before DH got home was not accomplished. The kids were a bit bored and L refused to nap so there was a battle thrown in the midst of all my work. Add some meals in the mix and it’s a miracle we were ready to paint once dinner was over. Oh and I managed to drop 1/3 of our pizza on the floor ruining it hot out of the oven, I’m awesome! B was excited to finally start painting and I became stressed when I saw thick lines of paint drying and his running around tore the plastic cover from the wall. Needless to say I ruined his fun and he was crying, I felt horrible and apologized many times. By the time we had two coats of paint on both walls I was beyond exhausted but I removed all of the tape and figured after 13 hours of working I deserved some wine.
Sunday the kids were up way too early and I wanted DH to step up to the plate and let me sleep but that didn’t happen. He did get out of bed before me but I was awake and by the time I joined everyone he said, “Maybe mommy can get us breakfast now.” Gee, thanks. He had at least started taping so we could paint the trim and after breakfast I followed behind him to protect the floor. It was a nice stopping point so we got ready for the day and ran to Costco and Target to get some things done then it was home for lunch. The rest of my day was filled with two coats of paint on the trim, laundry, making cookie dough, cleaning windows, and putting the living room back to normal. It all looks nice and I’m happy it’s done but I sure could have used another day off to just relax and maybe pull some carrots from the garden. I missed spending time with my kids just doing something fun, they didn’t get the attention they usually get and we’re all missing that. Before bed I sat them down and read two stories from both of them, it was a great half hour. Unfortunately it didn’t help L behave when going to bed and that put all of us in fowl moods.
Tonight I have a busy to-do list again but it’s different work this time around so that’s a welcome change. I do need to finish putting pictures back on the walls but mostly I need to bake skull cookies for the kids’ Halloween Parties on Friday. We will have to get out and enjoy some fresh air when we first get home and I’d love to rake up some leaves for them to play in, that’s always a necessary Fall activity.
No outdoor time for us yesterday because it was raining and it was a gray depressing feel so that wasn't fun. DH picked the kids up for me so I got started on dinner and made a tuna noodle salad for dinner tonight while I was at it. I'm a bit burned out on crockpot meals and we'll be having one on Friday in case MIL decides to eat dinner with us. After dinner I went straight to baking the skull cookies and a tad over 100 cookies later I was done and focused my energy on putting the last of the decorations back on the wall before heading to bed. I'm still feeling drained and hope to make tonight an early one.
B has swim lessons and then we'll work on homework and thank-you's after dinner. I am going to do a kickboxing workout and then hit the bed, sleep is top priority.
My top oven is being fixed this afternoon and I'm looking forward to having it back again, I'm a bit dependant on two ovens I guess. DH is also cancelling cable today. We can watch most everything online and the cost for the same service went up when Optimum took over so this will save us some money. We did record a lot of shows for the kids and I hate to admit it but I'm really going to miss my Real Housewives, it's sad that I'm so addicted and I'll probably pay to watch it on itunes. I'm hanging my head in shame right now.
Exercise has not happened this week and food has only been so/so. I opted for sleep on Tuesday night and I was still tired but felt better on Wednesday. Last night I figured I should start frosting the cookies for the Friday parties and thank God I did. I took me over an hour just to get the white base on the cookies and it was well after 10 by the time I got to bed. I’m exhausted again today and have quite a bit to do tonight. I’ll put the black on the skull cookies, clean the house, and prep the crock pot. I’m not even pretending I’ll get some exercise in so I need to stick to my food plan for the day. It will be hard with freshly frosted cookies but I’m strong and I will say no.
I had my heart broken a little bit yesterday and I’m tearing up just thinking about this right now. Clearly I still have issues over this from my childhood. L told DH that little A from DC told her that if she eats too much fruit she will get fat, well something along those lines. I took it as he said she was fat and I was fuming. I’ve never wanted to punch a kid square in the face until that moment and my first reaction was to tell L to do that. Of course common sense came over me and we both reiterated that eating fruit makes people healthy, that she is healthy and her body is exactly how God wants it. She seemed OK with it and I hope our words over power his, my fear is that a seed has been planted and she’s only 3! I remember how devastated I was when I overheard my parents talking about whether I needed to go on a diet (which looking back I DID NOT need to, I was healthy and active and had the body shape God gave me), I was maybe in 2nd or 3rd grade and I didn’t have a negative body image of myself up to that point. Once I heard that and started getting comments/teasing from other kids I started to look at myself in a bad light. How f***ing dare them! All of them! Of course it’s expected from kids but my parents? I still struggle with this. I need to take this as motivation to become a positive and healthy role model for L. To say to her, you have mommy’s body shape and I’m healthy and not fat. To show her that we are strong and muscular, not scrawny and weak and we can be proud of our bodies. I have to get there first. *No offense to anyone scrawny it's just not who we are.
I got a lot done last night. It was a really nice day so we headed to the back yard and raked a big pile of leaves so the kids could play in it and invited N and the girls over. We had a nice visit and then I busted out dinner (along with the crock pot dish) while the kids watched some TV, they both were tired. Once dinner was done I started decorating the cookies and had them done by the time the kids were in bed. I then cleaned the house and packed everything (cookies, costumes, & lunch) and hit the hay. I was feeling tense in my shoulders and talked DH into giving me a quick back rub, it put me right to sleep.
L woke around 4:00 with some wet panties but she stopped herself before she had a full on accident so that was good. I forgot to put the crockpot on before I left for work so I hope DH can get home and get it turned on in time. B has his Halloween party today and they get to wear their costumes after lunch. He can't really get in and out of his without help so we sent him in all black (his favorite color) and he can wear his ninja mask after lunch. DC is having their Halloween party and dance recital this afternoon so L will be a munchkin and then the kids will have some fun before we head home for the night. MIL is coming up and may or may not stay overnight with us. Either way is fine with me.
My goal tonight is to get sleep. Tomorrow I plan to work on raking leaves and pulling carrots then we have TWO Halloween parties to go to, it should be fun but crazy. Sunday I want to have a quiet day at home and I need to bake some cookies for a coworker that is newly GF and has a birthday to celebrate on Monday. I think I'll make some oatmeal cookies, they sound so yum.
Overall the weekend was nice, well it ended nice so that was good. Friday I met MIL and DH at DC and L did great with her dance. She was so cute and tried really hard. We headed home and I prepped dinner while MIL played with the kids and after dinner she decided to stay the night. Thankfully DH was home a little early and did some prep work in the guest bedroom. I was in bed shortly after 10 and up early on Saturday to get breakfast made before DH left for Msla. MIL hung around for a bit and after she left I chatted with my mom then got ready for the day at noon. Naps were a struggle and it didn't help that I was emotional and dealing with some feelings tied into the miscarriage. L was being very defiant and I tried everything to get her to sleep, it was a 2 hour process. I tried lying down with her, leaving her alone, putting her back in bed when she'd come out of the room with no talking, and holding her down. She bit me when I was holding her down so I bit her back and she screamed bloody murder. It was so bad I thought maybe I bit her harder than I had planned so I turned on the light and looked for marks but didn't see any. I was a crying mess at this point and felt like a horrible mother, I will never do that again. I don't even know how I finally got her to sleep and then I got B to sleep and I had to put an eye mask on to get my puffy eyes under control. It sucked. Once B was up I started getting us in our Halloween costumes and then woke L to get her dressed. We headed to N's 30 min early to help with the final prep work and the kids had a really fun time playing. The food was great and I had to get B to focus on joining the activites N had planned, he was being a bit rude not wanting to participate. About 2 hours in I had to round him up to head to the other party and I felt bad because most everyone else left at the same time. The other party was fun and everyone was nice but B was exhausted and had 2 meltdowns within an hour. It's a bit embarassing to have him break down over little things and then he doesn't even focus enough to see people are trying to help him. We were there for 1.5 hours then headed home and DH and I relaxed on the couch watching a movie the rest of the night.
Sunday we all slept in a bit and had a very lazy start to our day. Once we were all dressed we headed outside because the weather was warm and gorgeous. I think it was our last nice day for the year. We played in the pile of leaves, cleaned up the garden, harvested the onions and carrots, played duck-duck-goose (it was so much fun), played with the neighbors, carved pumpkins, and ended the night looking at constellations and Venus. I also did laundry and made brownies and oatmeal cookies for a work party. We had a great day as a family and I really needed that after my rough day on Saturday.
Things are finally quieting down so I plan to get back on track with my exercise and diet this week. Exercise will have to wait for tomorrow since we'll be tied up with Trick or Treating tonight but I can at least keep my diet within the calorie range.
DH and I are trying to figure out how to help B with two boys that are bullying him at school. I told him to defend himself and fight back if needed but I'm debating whether we should get him into some martial arts classes. It could at least teach him some self defense and give him confidence. We are going to talk with his teacher next week at Parent/Teacher Conference to try to get some insight, it's just so frustrating.
You are NOT a horrible mother - I would do the same thing if C or D tried to bite me. Thinking of you all and hoping these stinking hormones and emotions calm down for us soon. I am thinking of a lavendar scrub or mint bath... hmmm relaxing. Now just to find the time to do it.
BTW we are thinking of doing the same with D - I have a list of local classes I want to visit before we enroll him.
Oh yeah... I bite my kids back, too. They hate it, but it gets the point across.
Thanks ladies, I know I'm not the only one to do it but man she pulled on my heart strings. I'm sure she was more scared than hurt.
DH was home when we got there and he and B played soccer outside with L and I threw dinner together. It used up the roast and potatoes I had leftover and was really yummy. Too spicy for the kids though, oops. L fought on eating dinner and finally she finished so we got her costume on, took pictures, and headed out to Trick-or-Treat. N and her family were coming to our house as we were leaving so we hit our street together and if was fun seeing the kids running to the houses together. L loved it, she was so happy to get candy and ran a lot. At one point I thought she was going to throw an elbow as she tried to get around some kids. She was asking adults handing out candy what they were going to be for Halloween, telling them to brush their teeth, and saying "Happy Trick or Treating!" After we did our street I went home to hand out candy and clean carrots, I know it was exciting! DH took the kids to the street north of us and then they came back and B was in a bad mood. He had tripped and was mad about it, it drove us crazy that he let it ruin his night. L wanted to go out some more to DH took her and B and I hung around the house and handed out candy. We didn't get as many kids as we usually do so we have a lot of candy left over. B was in bed when DH and L got home and then L was close behind him. It was a fun night but I indulged in a bit too much candy.
Tonight we have swim lessons for B and I need to pick up some groceries on my way to get the kids so we can do sandwiches for dinner. It's going to be early to bed for the kids and then I will do some kickboxing and head to bed myself. Our cable is officially off, they had reduced us to basic for a week and then last night it was kaput. Now to get used to not watching TV, this will be good for me.
Yesterday was a bit rough after work. I had a stressful end to the day with issues that need to be dealt with and then B was having a break down because he lost a piece of paper from Kindergarten that he wanted to show me. It was another ridiculous display of him losing total control of himself and hysterically bawling over something small. I couldn’t get him to calm down at DC so I took him out to the car and had to yell to get him to focus on me and calm down. It took 5-10 minutes for me to get him to pull himself together and explain that big kids don’t communicate like that, babies do. He was given two options, get a hold of himself and calm down so we can go to swim or keep up his hysterics and go home and straight to bed. He opted for swim lessons and things were fine after that. He’s showing more confidence in the water and I’m happy to see the improvements at swim with him. Once we got home I whipped together an impromptu pasta dinner, thank God is tasted good, and DH gave B a bath. After we ate B and DH started a fire and I gave L a bath and we had a nice night of stories and looking through a toy catalog. B asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said I’ll probably ask for some Cathe DVD’s. He said “Cathe makes you sweat”, yup and that’s the point. Once the kids were in bed I did 30 min of kickboxing then wasted some time and went to bed at my normal time. Food included some treats throughout the day and I’m going to make sure today is more on track. My two goals for the day are no sugar and no eating after 8. I will also get a Hiit workout in and start cleaning the house. If I stick to 1250 calories a day and keep my exercise going I can be down to my pre-miscarriage weight by Christmas, that’s a big motivator for me. I also want to look and feel good when we go to Fairmont for the IL’s 50th so it’s crunch time.
I have a knot in my stomach right now and I’ve been debating whether I want to write about it or not but I think if I don’t it won’t get any better for me today. First off my normal, DC said B was crying hysterically when they picked him up from school and they weren’t sure why. He told me right away, didn’t get to make a bracelet for me because he ran out of time, so I had to talk with him again about controlling our emotions and communicating properly like a big boy. He seems to be listening to me so hopefully he’ll start exercising the skills. Once home we went out to play with K & R, B wanted to stay at our house and was being rude because K had made something for him. He told me he didn’t want it and explained to him that he’ll hurt her feelings and as a good friend he needs to be respectful and see what she made and appreciate it. He was happy once they started coloring and I don’t think K picked up on anything. Once home I threw together some tacos and the kids chowed their meals. DH started getting sick and had a sore throat, raspy voice, and felt cruddy. He laid on the couch and fell asleep so I dealt with pj’s, brushing teeth, reading, and bed along with clean up but who’s keeping track? This is when things went south and I’m trying not to be silly about it because I know this is normal but it just really took me by surprise. I went to the laptop to look and see if I had any pictures of my pb cookies to post on my blog, I swear I have some but can’t find them. As I’m looking at folders of pictures I find a folder right on the desktop with porn in it. It was about 9 pictures and I didn’t really look at them in detail but mostly just topless stuff. I commented to DH that I found his porn and at first he didn’t react because he was still on the couch but then he sat up and said what. I repeated myself and he said something like oh the stuff I was looking at last night. He got up and deleted it from his laptop and said sorry. He then asked if I would forgive him and I said of course. I started to think about this more and it really started to bug me. He had gone to bed and I was doing my Hiit workout and it was so hard to concentrate when feelings of inadequacy kicked in, I mean HELLO I’m having body image issues right now. I’m nowhere near as pretty, thin, or large chested as these women and if that’s what he wants I’m SOL. I decided to check and see if there was more on the computer because I would be devastated if this was an addiction/problem and I had no idea about it. I did find some web pages in the history weeks back but it wasn’t an amount that made me concerned about a problem. I know people need to get their kicks here and there but it’s not like I’m not around nor willing. I slept like crap because I couldn’t think of anything else and today the knot has gotten bigger the more I think about it. I have a GF discussion I’m going to with GF-N tonight and once home I plan to clean more of the house and I need to talk with DH. I’m not mad I just want to understand where he’s coming from, what he needs, if there’s anything I can improve on, and if there’s anything I need to be concerned about. I feel like a fool because I didn’t think he looked at porn and maybe that’s my naivety. Bleh. I did manage to keep my food on track last night and the scale was kind to me this morning, I have my focus right now and I plan to keep it.