Randoms thoughts and Mixed emotions..
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Thread: Randoms thoughts and Mixed emotions..

  1. #1
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    Default Randoms thoughts and Mixed emotions..

    Just have some things I NEED to get off my chest and since I have NO ONE to talk to IRL anymore, what better place than right here?


    Where the hell is my family right now? No one calls, comes over, invites me over by them or anything anymore.... Why? Because now that I dont have a freaking car I am not GOOD enough anymore? Now that I can not bend over backwards for them when THEY need something, I am not good enough anymore? When I had my car they didnt have a problem calling me everyday to see if I could do this or that or go here or there. NOoooo, no problem THEN. But now, hell, I am lucky if I hear from them once a week. Specifically my mom. That back stabbing, two faced, evil ***** that she is....... She is another story in itself and I will rant about HER more another time.

    I am still waiting for J to call me back tonight. He probably wont. I am not counting it. Definately NOT holding my breath. He probably "fell asleep". I am starting to wonder why I deal with this all the time. I am so sick of being abandoned by the people I love the most in life. J spent most of the week and ALL weekend hunting. Fine, whatever. Get out and do something you enjoy so you can stop pouting all the time. But, he also sits and tells me that he misses me and wants to spend time with me. Ok, and? Stop coming over for a whopping hour and then leaving because you MIGHT be going hunting the next damn day. And stop calling me(like today) to tell me that you REALLY want to see me today and to call you later in the afternoon if I can make time to see you. Like I am SO busy right now with a sick baby and NO car But, whatever... So, AJ goes to his dads this afternoon and I only have Jade, good, I am tired, need a break. Call J to have him come get us so we can actually spend some time with him this weekend. What is he doing?? GETTING READY TO ****ING GO OUT HUNTING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, didnt you freaking call me like TWO HOURS ago to tell me that you wanted to see ME today and that I was to call you when I was able to??? Duuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrr, so you just decide to say OH WELL and go hunting AGAIN??? What the hell!!!????!!!!! You say you will call me when you are done hunting... well, yippeee frickin skippy for me You call, and ten minutes later say you need to go clean your birds you shot and eat but you WILL call me back tonight.... Yeah, It has been over two hours, and I am STILL waiting....... Thanks for caring about me SOOOOOOOO much........

  2. #2
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    My mother.....

    Oh, where do I even begin with her?? Lets see... the beginning sounds good...

    She met my dad when she was seventeen.. Married him three weeks later to get out of her own mothers house. She didnt like him at all, or so she says. Just wanted out. Nice way to start a family, nut job Whatever, they were married for a couple years when she decided to run off to Milwaukee with her former fling. She came back a few weeks later, pregnant with my older sister. My dad took her back(like a fool) and raised my sister as his own, knowing full well she is not his. What a stellar man... My mom gets pregnant with me, runs off again.... I AM my fathers daughter and the day I am born, any doubts are put to shame as I am his spitting image. So, life continues and my two brothers and two more sisters are born. After the youngest is born, mom decides to divorce dad. So, she leaves... and leaves us all..... The youngest is barely two. Mom is gone, dad is devastated, and there are little kids that need to be taken care of while dad is at work. You would think the oldest daughter would step up maybe and help a little, but no... Just me.... Ugh, off track here, my older sister is yet ANOTHER story....

    So anyway, growing up, mom was pretty much useless... She slept all the time while dad was at work and would wake up only in time to start supper before he got home but then act like she did SOOOO much during the day. When she actually WAS awake during the day, she was evil to us... Enjoyed tying us to our beds with jumpropes or locking us in our rooms so we wouldnt bother her or her precious sleep. Ask her about that now and of course she denies it and we are all crazy. Sorry, but how can 4 people have the same exact memories and yet we are all living in delusions?? Anyway, whatever, she is insane.

    Now, she STILL sleeps ALL the time, and acts like she was up doing SO much. How stupid does she think we are?? We go to her house and SEE her sleeping. She is so out of it she doesnt even know we are there!!

    On to the back stabbing part of her... She is one who will sit and say AWFUL horrible hurtful things about people behind their backs but then act all innocent to their face. Lately, her favorite hobby is picking on me and the people that I love(J). She says the worst things a mother could say, and makes up insane lies. What she doesnt know YET is that my little sister tells me everything. I have not confronted mom yet... I am keeping it bottled inside for now. It is KILLING me........ but I can not handle confrontation... I can not really blow on her yet because that would leave little sister without a shoulder(mom is horrible to her as well and I am really all she has to talk to and what not). I can not, will NOT abandon little sister. I pretty much raised her when mom left and dad was working his butt off to support 6 kids on his own so she needed SOMEONE.

    I hate my mom. I love her, but I hate her..... She needs to wake the hell up and realize how badly she is hurting me...... I do SOOOOOO much for her. I really do.... I have always done ANYTHING she needed me to do for her. I have put my own needs and wants on hold when she asked me to do something for her. I just want my mom to respect me, appreciate me, and love me.... But, I dont think she does ANY of those.......

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