ok, come full circle. wish it were all over, can't wait to get the tree down. wanna re-organize things. wanna move furniture. want dh out of the house, but ACK, will have him 4 F'ING DAYS next weekend.
fork me, I hate Christmas. told him not to get my anything again. and, of course, it is all my fault. I am pissy/in a *****y mood. he is blameless. happens all the time
he can kiss my ask me no questions and I won't lie to ya
and I already got him something. this should be good. will be interesting to see his reaction to figuring out I got him something anyway. or what, if ANYTHING he gets me. damn I hate feeling this way
so, enough of my *****y attitude. I do have more to say. a friend of mine, the one that watches the house, has wanted me to help her out with a few projects at her folks' place. you can tell that there was $ at one point over there. some nice stuff too. I am positively green with envy. no matter, really, I am happy for them. her Mom recently bought 3 horses, for her kids and her Alz dh who is having huge med problems. we are all worried about him, and I suddenly find I have a fountain of sympathy and patience for him. guess I remember G-pa and it doesn't bother me to deal with him, but I don't deal much, kwim? is so much easier when I don't have to all the time.
anyway, helped her out some on Friday. worked in the barn etc. nothing major important, lots of lil things, things no-one really knows what to do. simplistic things, but.....something I handle and can very easily fix. makes me feel.....needed, wanted, useful, like an adult. that felt good. yesterday was ok. ended up going to the game with Mark. almost didn't, but figured why punish ME by not going. glad I did, it was a good game.
and this morning, I tried to sleep in. it didn't happen. I am wasted tired. figured, FINE, since I am awake, have lots of time, LET'S GO TO CHURCH really, I wanted to go. we haven't gone in awhile. that was 8:30 I think. we leave the house somewhere between 10-10:15 for services
the phone rang at 9ish. it was L's Mom C. NO WATER. well, DUH, it is FREAKIN COLD outside. it had finally dipped down low enough to freeze the well house and with the state of the house, no one had thought to get the heater going. no one knew what to do either. no biggie, I had more projects to finish over there. is ok too, I wanted away from dh. no dear anything. is like God didn't want me to go. is FINE by me took my handy lil blow torch over and tools in case the pipes were split. torched it a bit, nothing. fun. turned on the ancient heater, which worried both of us (me and L's sister), but it finally kicked on. it started to heat up. so did the damn BIG spider on the wall. that didn't impress me in ANY way shape or form set the heater kinda close to the pipes (they were metal so no worry there) and headed into the house to let her Mom know I needed a few parts for other projects and what to expect etc etc etc. we talked for 5-10 mins and she turned the water on as I was walking out to the truck. it went on, I am a huge hero. made me feel worth while. I did so little.
SO, I got to spend another day away from dh and the boys. I did come home at lunch and feed Alex. played with Brian. put him down for his nap and went back. still didn't do much, but they still think I am a hero. I don't mind. talked about what to do next. called L and made arrangements/list of things to do. ended up having another pissing contest with Mark. fun. is ok, I win more then I loose now. he has taught me well. I have claws. don't mind sharpening them on him now and then.
don't mess with me you fool. you aren't going to win. you only inspire me to avoid you. he hates that. sorry, but attitude I don't want to deal with will do that
deal with it or get a better one. DING, you loose. I honestly don't care, GOT IT?
I am officially calling off Christmas. today sucks. my head hurts, I feel so *****y. I wanna kill something. if I didn't know better I would say I was on my period
oh wait, it just started. fun. going in for a shot next week, I don't do this well. I hate this sh!t
oh cool. Mark is in sooooooooo much trouble. Cindy found a place she LIKES. I likes it LOTS. it has 1917 sq foot it has a den AND an office it has nice sized rooms the den could easily be converted to ANOTHER bedroom it has a GORGEOUS garage (altho unfinished, it is HUGE, nice 2 car it has 2 nice sized out buildings (one is the well house) it has a dog kennel/run it has a loafing shed
and the kicker, it has OVER 10 ACRES!!
Mark is going to go see it, he just doesn't know it yet. but OMG!!! I found one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ISN'T in city limits either, so I wouldn't have to pay for permits to add buildings either. WOW. I want that place. damn, and Mark doesn't have a phone. that SUCKS. I want him to go see it. he can pick it apart all he wants. I like it. I want it. he has his damn car. we can put stipulations on it up the ying yang. we CAN make it work. I WANT TO MOVE!!!!!!
reality check. he is IN this house. this is HIS house. he won't be thrilled, but I am gonna see how far I can push
OVER 10 ACRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, I miss you!!! Good luck with the pushing!!! Keep me updated!!!
well, quick update: we meet with the realtor to see what we can and can't do. Mark likes the house. I am ok with the house (is is way better then this one) and am TOTALLY in love with the rest. Brian liked it pretty well also, I am pumped. hoping that I don't hit hard with reality and numbers. plus the whole deal will hinge on selling this place
should be interesting. I might have to go dig a few plants up
well, I haven't killed big red today but he is pushing his luck. and I am tired, don't feel great, feeling heckled and he is pushing every button I have. so far he has made his brother cry, pooped in his pants, woke his brother up, took his brother's toys
I took the batteries out of the damn noisy train. today I am the evil Mama. evil psycho Mama. and he is GOING ot G-ma's house. never mind this is a treat for him, if he doesn't go he might not make it to tommorrow!
quick update: we just made an official fill out reams of paperwork offer on a house. for now that is all the detail I am going to go into! this house is to be listed mid next week (Jan 10), offer is contigent on sale of this one, AND financing and a house inspection. not gonna shoot ourselves in the foot to get there, kwim?
Alex sits up on his own and now scootches (no crawlign) across the floor and spins in circles. yaking up a storm too, a LOUD storm. Brian is PLAYING with his brother now and it is SOOOOOOOO cute. he was barking and achoo'ing at Alex last night on the way to the game and had Alex giggling like mad. I so hope those two are best of friends. and Brian is also making headway on PT.
well, gotta get back at the projects that have been looming. they have to be done for the sale, and with Mark home, I need to GET AT IT! oh baby baby, I wanna spill details but I am SO afraid I will jinx it!
well, it all fell thru. they countered with a number too high to haggle on. at first I was really ok with it, holding out hope that when we DIDN'T reoffer they would come much closer. but quickly and quietly reality is setting in, and so is some depression. granted they haven't had any time to chew on it either. ok, big deal, they COULD still come back. now I am stuck doing a mad remodel here. we are still going to list the house, if nothing else then to see if we get ANY nibbles. and I emailed Mark earlier. he is trying his best to prop me up, but I dont' think he gets it.
I told him this:
really, I am not trying to start a fight. I have no clue if he is going to take it as such. I do care. I do hate this sudden and strong blue feeling. why can't I just be happy here? ya know, I do pray about it. if He does want me to stay here, WHY can't I just be happy about it? peachy. now I am depressed and pissed. NOT goodmy problem with this house, or any proposed addition is the probability of the road that is going to someday come barreling THRU our yard. one of the big reasons I fell madly in love with this property was a. the view, b. the fact we were away from traffic on what amounts to a cul de sac or dead end and c. the "country" feel out here. we are about to loose all of those things if they start developing. if not now, then in 10 yrs when you will REFUSE to move (aka I am "too old" to move, or to set to move etc). I am also sick and tired of every bonus we get goes to yet ANOTHER house project, and we still have quite a few to go: addition(s), new windows, new carpet, new master bath, ugs, barn, fences, yadda yadda yadda. is going to have to include a new stove and fridge sooner or later as the ones we have now are starting to show signs of problems. I want to have some play money for one year. I don't see that happening anytime soon. it seems to be never ending and honestly becoming overwhelming probability. I don't mind fixing SOME stuff and ending up with a house we like. as in WE, and short of a match, this house isn't going to do that for ME. it has always been, and will always be, you and Julie's house, no matter how much change. it is still the house YOU bought with HER. and it totally doesn't match me or my taste at all. I don't want to get into this. I don't want to fight, I am not saying this for that reason. just imparting information. honestly, I did try to make it mine, but it didn't work. I still do NOT like it, I am sorry, that is my failing. love my flowers. really I do. will really regret having to leave those. BUT, on the other hand.............................
ah well, told the realtor we were still going to push to sell the house. list it when the new cabinets get here (7-10 weeks from when we order it) and the flowers start popping (Feb is a good month, everything is waking up, esp my early bulbs). we will probably order them tomorrow. looking at new counters as well. I should just call Valley Cabs and see if they can match it, no wait that way!
back to painting, screwing the wall, sanding, texturing
at least it looks really good. ok, so much better. I still am a novice at the taping and texturing thing. and I still hate doing it, but DANG, I am so happy to see that sh!tty fake paper wainscotting GONE
a lil better today. NOTHING from the realtor, BUT, I didn't expect anything. ok, I don't expect anything. not when the counter offer is 12k over what we offered. is why we didn't recounter. geez. I was hopeful, but, on the other hand, maybe they owe that much. not gonna sweat it either way.
still getting things done, just not balls to the wall. tomorrow we are going to go play a little. then back at it. might go back at it tonight. will see. want to get the corner behind the tv shot and the window trim back up. still, things are looking SO much better. I like it. we could easily finish the walls in the living room this weekend. will see about painting. Mark and I need to get back to negotiating what will and won't get done. Idon't mind him watching the kids and me doing the painting, but I would still rather he do the tedious stuff like putting up the paint tape. I hate doing that. really really really hate that. and trimming. ew. *sigh*
did I mention it looks FABULOUS? I should take pics, I know.
and Dad is supposed to be in surgery today. he is fine. a non-spreading localized cancer on the top of his ear. they are taking it off. unless they bump him AGAIN. not sure how worried he and Mom are, neither are talking much. will be interesting to see what is said/done in the next couple days.
well, the wall is all done. today, I did......drum roll
wait for it!
don't ya really really really HATE it when I do this??
NOTHING!!!!!!! ok, laundry, some odds and ends, did a spread sheet for the upcoming bead buy, but NOTHING from the list